Depression: How To Deal

[Edmund Dantes]

Hi guys,

 

Just wanted to share. I have been battling clinical depression for a little over 7 months now. I am proud to say that these days I have been gaining the upperhand in the fight, but it wasn't always like that. The first few months was really hell for me. It was like someone threw me inside a well, and I am constantly drowning. I look up and see the light at the end of the well, but I just can't climb towards it. Thats how I would describe it. Getting through every minute of the day was a huge struggle because you feel constantly depleted. You can't even think and focus on some basic routines because you are all messed up inside. The hardest part of the day was in the morning, because you know its just going to be another painful day you have to survive. The second hardest part of the day was at night. I had to deal with this depression away from home, away from friends and family. So at night I really had no one else to talk to. Neither could I talk to my colleagues about it. So I would pray for 2 things. For the sun to not come up, and for me to not wake up. Because during weekends, I would just force my body to sleep even though it didn't want to anymore. I was just begging for any escape from the pain I could be given even for just 10 minutes.

 

Then things got worse. I really hit an all time low. So I started relying on alcohol a lot to numb the pain at night. I became so dependent on it, that the first thing I wanted to do in the morning was fast forward the day so I can be reunited with my bottle. But then your body grows tolerance for alcohol so I kept drinking some more. It got to the point where Id drink at night till I pass out, then when Id wake up a bit early morning, I would drink again because I was holding on to the numb feeling that alcohol gave me. I really didn't suffer from hangovers or anything because of my choice for drink. BUT I was experiencing other forms of chronic pain. Aside from the chest pain, I had abdominal pains, my taste palates were all messed up, and I felt exhausted all the time.

 

Until finally, I took the courage to use my medical benefits to have myself checked, and was recommended to a depression specialist. Based on my psych evaluation, the doctor didn't want me to rely too much of sleeping medication, given my tendency at the time to just abuse it. See, depression is like any physical disease. It should be given proper diagnosis and it really helps to get a professional examination. Even then, it really didn't stop my self-destructive behavior. It got to the point where I got really so scared of what I was doing to myself because it would only be a matter of time till I killed myself with all that poison I am consuming. One thing that really helped me and turned things around was when I started reconnecting with my family and true friends. It was really cathartic to find out kung sino yung totoong nagmamahal sayo at sino yung nasasaktan bukod sayo dahil sa pinagdaanan mo. But still I was behaving like a rabbid dog back then, rejecting help I was being given. But I got exhausted eventually.

 

So I took my therapy more seriously, and my doctor recommended the following steps towards my recovery. 1. Grief- its ok to grief. Cry if I had to, I had to just let it all out. When the tears start running dry, talagang dun maguumpisa mabuo yung tapang mo. 2. Reflection- Look back at everything, see what mistakes you made, learn to separate what is your fault from what is not. Take all the lessons you can get. 3. Letting go- To recover from the past you have to learn to let go of everything, both good and bad. I realized that the reason I was not moving forward because I refused to let go of all the good things from the past, when I should be more focused on creating better memories with the lessons I learned. 4. Self-love and appreciation- This really helped turn things around. I used to really loathe myself, but when I began to finally see my own value and worth I slowly relented on destroying myself. More importantly I finally decided to forgive myself 5. Rebuild- I am at this stage right now, rebuilding a new me. Breaking the routine, kicking out the bad habits and replacing them with good ones. I am trying to develop a sharper mind and a stronger body.

 

These days have been much better for me. I mean, all that sorrow and anxiety is still right there at the corner waiting to get the better of me. But I feel like finally I am getting the correct treatment for this disease that I have. So I battle that everyday. The temptation to just go backwards and start feeling sorry for myself again. With the help of positive distraction and plenty of physical and mental exercise I have been gaining the upper hand of the battle so far. I will say that I am fully recovered when I can once again start trusting my heart, because right now I listen more to my mind. It will come at the right time, and Id like to think I am getting there. Just by staying clean for quite sometime now. It brings me back so much of that lost pride. Moreover, I am so proud for learning the art of emotional independence. All of us need to have this at a certain level. Sure you need people in your life to add happiness, but ultimately your happiness and well-being is your responsibility.

 

So if I can give advice to those going through the same process, I will say that really force your power of will to get past your depression. Yes time does wonders, but you gotta make active efforts to to use the time to your advantage, and not be passive in a way that time uses you. Get out of your bed, go get some fresh air, socialize, exercise, do anything or something even if you don't feel like doing it. Parang pag may sakit ka at wala kang gana kumain, pilitin mo talaga para lumakas ka. I know that sometimes it feels like you got no more will to live on and keep going. But if you take this small baby steps you will find out na masarap pa din mabuhay kahit minsan nasasaktan. Most of all, really learn to love yourself. The better you treat yourself, the sooner you will start feeling much better and find a new worth to yourself. Don't give up. Use whatever painful experience you had and turn it into something positive. Sabi nga di ba? The pain you feel today can be the strength and wisdom you will have tomorrow. So hang in there. If hanging in there for a day is impossible, try hanging on for 5 minutes at a time, then another 5, then another 5, keep repeating till those minutes march into hours and days.

 

Sorry medyo napahaba. Pero sana kapulutan ito ng insight at sana makatulong.

 

Thanks.

Edited May 28, 2014 by Edmund Dantes

[Edmund Dantes]

Guys let me share below is the rating depressed test of my wife which is major depression is high, im helpless i dont know where could i start to help her, this was trigger after she gave birth to our 1st baby almost two years ago, sometimes she reminiscing the past its looks like she has a regret of marrying me, sa totoo lang im not a rich man but she came from prominent family having a chinese blood, maybe nabigla sya when i propose to marry her after nun nalaman nya na di ako yung tipo mayaman na guy for her na even yung mga bagay na gusto nya gawin like travel or xplore di namin magawa kasi ako mismo kulang sa financial stability, not all professional like me na may jobd na I.T works eh mayaman or malaki sahod, i cant blame her because its my fault talaga, if i finished my bachelor lang sana baka mas maganda work ko at salary cap ko...but still im very lucky kasi husband pa din ang tingin nya sakin..still fighting for everyday life..work work but not financial freedom..hindi man nya sabihin sakin nararamdaman nya but nararamdaman ko at nakikita ko and still she's still taking care our daugther very well but not me totally even our sexual drive nawala na..and the end of the day we are still husband and wife...the good for me im positive thinker wala sa vocabulary loss hope but in times of this struggle in our life nagpapanic ako.

 

Disorder Your Score

 

Major Depression: High

Dysthymia: High-Moderate

Bipolar Disorder: Slight-Moderate

Cyclothymia: Slight

Seasonal Affective Disorder: High

Postpartum Depression: N/A

 

Ok first of all, may I ask if you have seen a physician to confirm these test scores? I know marami sa internet self-tests for depression, but its difficult to give proper diagnosis on how serious your wife's depression is, until you sit and consult with a physician. In my case, I had a brain scan at it showed grey matter eroding from my amygdala which is the center of pleasant moods or something like that.

 

And can you tell us what are her symptoms na din? Ang depression kasi, hindi lang yan basta basta lungkot lang. May mas mabigat na symptoms yan. Like insomnia or hypersomnia. Loss of apeptite sa pagkain, feeling exhausted all the time, difficulty in executing daily routines even the most basic ones. Pwede ring may kasama syang anxiety. If your wife shows symptoms like this, then I really suggest you consult a physician. Kahit general practicioner muna until you can be referred to a specialist. Pwede kasi muna sya bigyan ng vitamin supplement para di masyado manghina pangangatawan at supplements para ganahan kumain. Pag clinical yung depression, hindi yan basta basta nalulunasan ng small pep talks. So it helps to be diagnosed as an expert.

 

Sa kwento mo kasi, it seems na may problema kayo sa mismong marriage nyo. She may be going through a phase of disappointment, pero pwedeng hindi naman sya talaga depressed. My advice, subukan nyo magusap magasawa siguro ng ma-sort out nyo ito ng maigi. Kung talagang mahal ka ng asawa mo, kahit pa hindi ka mayaman she will stick with you, and if she wants you to be more successful financially, she will give you a more positive push towards it. Hindi naman siguro mukhang pera misis mo. She may just want a little bit of financial security lalo nga at may anak pa kayo. Plus of course all women want to be taken to nice places and enjoy tangible things. So sana, as partners for life you can figure out a way how to turn this negative phase into something more positive

 

Goodluck

[Angas ng Tondo]

Drink, Relax, Unwind...

[John Galt]

spend time with friends, go to church

[Edmund Dantes]

Exercise exercise excercise.

 

It really does work. Having suffered depression myself, being in the gym saved my life a lot. It is not really about developing the torso of an underwear model, its about training your mind to endure and focus. Its about forging your character with an iron.

 

Yes its so much worth the membership fees, you are getting something more than a stronger and healthier body. Exercise releases plenty of hormones that improve your mood.

[Pillows]

nuod ng just for laughs

[cindy cato]

shopping

[gobster11]

Chocolates. Nothing beats depression like chocolates.

[Liz]

Time.

[amatss]

See a psychiatrist.

[lagingumaasa]

Minsan hindi nadadaan sa usap usap... kailangan ng gamot talaga.

[K E L S Y - G R E Y]

Im under a depression pa rin

but thankfully pa unti unti nababawasan sea sobrang hirap tlga..

But good company.. Supportive family and prayers rili helps a lot..

Sna i can fully recover na dont wanna go into meds...

[Simple Larry]

You can go see a Psychologist ,Local Priest or Pastor or Talk to your friends & loved ones

[Edmund Dantes]

Some tips I learned

 

1. Grieve! Its healthy, but dont unnecessarily prolong it.

 

2. Time is your friend only when you use it. If you let time use you, it becomes your prison.

 

3. Have a mindset that after the pain comes wisdom and strength, so its good to embrace pain from time to time. But do not nurture the pain, nurture the strength and wisdom

 

4. Most of all, Dont be afraid to seek professional help if you feel the need to.

 

 

Ang depression kasi, pwedeng clinical na yung condition. Ibig sabihin tulad ng ibang sakit sa laman na malubha hindi mo yan basta basta malulunasan ng mga pep talk tulad ng, "kapit ka lang kasi kay Lord". No offense to religious people here. If you find comfort in religion thats ok. But what I am trying to say is that this can be a real clinical condition that requires a technical remedy ng maayos.

 

Ang naiinis kasi ako, whenever I say sa mga tao dyan na I wanna see a doctor or seek professional help, ang stigma kaagad baliw na ako . O kaya kulang sa pananalig kay lord . Hindi nila makuha na kung inaatake ka ng kumplikasyon sa diabetes, hindi naman yan masusulusyunan ng pagrorosaryo o bible study.

 

For me, seeing a doctor and attending support group meetings really helped me a lot. Yan ang kelangan natin siguro sa pinas. Mga support groups

[tog]

ano ba mga signs ng depression?

[Edmund Dantes]

ano ba mga signs ng depression?

 

May mga tests sa internet kung gusto mo magself diagnose muna. Its questionaire form but to name a few symptoms for heavy depression

 

1. Anxiety and panic attacks

2. Restlessness

3. insomnia or pwede ring hypersomnia

4. syempre andun din yung walang gana kumain

 

Basically, you are so sad, you can not even get up and do anything. As in wala kang gana sa lahat.

 

Ang mahirap sakin, depression hit me at a time when malayo ako sa mga kaibigan at pamilya. Tapos ang lamig lamig pa. Pano naman yun? Pero if you take small steps everyday to better yourself, and not give up, you will see that no matter how tragic your experience may get it can always get better for you.

[Edmund Dantes]

I probably will get plenty of thumbs down for saying this but I will say it anyway. I notice most people here say "prayers prayers prayers".

 

I have nothing against people who somehow find peace and serenity in religion, but what most people do not understand is that Depression can be considered clinical. Meaning to say you have to treat it like any other disease out there that requires expert and technical diagnosis. So telling a person who may be suffering from clinical depression with things like "Kapit ka lang kay Lord", "Tibayan mo pananampalataya mo sa dyos", "Sama ka sa bible study namin" etc, wont help the person much. Because the person needs a doctor not a pastor. He may also need to have a brainscan. In my case noon, the grey matter in my amygdala was found to be eroding. Kahit kasi ilang beses ka mag rosaryo kung kelangan na ng tao operasyon, kelangan dalhin mo sa ospital.

[Number35]

Yes, I think alot of people don't know depression, and they treat it like it's something nalilipas din parang depress that nag break ng partner, siguro dahil hinde rin masyadong pinapansin ung depression sa pinas unlike sa states. Dito more or less, inuman or good talk lang madalas okay na ung iniisip nila.

[Edmund Dantes]

Sorry to hear that sir, irreversible kapag may damage sa brain eh, pero ang goal is to be functional. Personal experience ko may church member kami na diagnosed na bipolar 2, una puro kami pray, go to church, ask a pastor...he wouldn't even try those things pero may kilala din po ako na after nya mag church and counseling nawala yung depressed state po niya despite being in a psych ward and taking those meds. Nakatulong yung church po. Siguro yun coupled with theraphy. May na interview din po kasi ako na psychologist who came across a study na galing sa India, according to the study majority ng mga cases na pinag aralan nya ng depression ay karaniwan daw ay may "evil spirit" na kasama ang tao kaya associated sa depression. I found it credible kasi hindi taong simbahan ang nagsulat and Hindu pa....yun lang po...

 

I dont know much about "evil spirits" and if there is any scientific approach towards them. But what I do know is that depression is more often caused by a traumatic experience, or inherent disability (again this does not equate insanity). There are certain kinds of depression that can be dealt with pep talks and saturday morning cartoons. But there are some that really require doctors opinion na. If you leave the symptoms unchecked you might worsen the problem.

 

Tama ka, brain damage does not equate insanity or di ka na functional. What I hate sa kultura natin is that if you mention things like this, or say na you need a doctor, people automatically stigmatize you as sira ulo. You don't get stigmatized for being epileptic or diabetic, but when you say you are depressed people either think you are insane or mahina kasi "pananalig mo".

 

In my case kasi, my condition ay typical din sa isang babae na kakatapos manganak. How ironic. I was not really given antidepressants, I was given multivitamins lang and some light medication to aid my sleep. I was also advised to have a regular exercise program which really helped a lot turning my life around. These days, I rely on exercise to help control my mood swings and keep the "down emotions" at bay. Kaya nga pag may ilang araw na di makagym o takbo, thats when I start losing sleep again and start feeling down. My friend who is a church fanatic told me "Excercise and Yoga will not help you, only the love of Christ will"...... I mean thats romantic and all but at the same time also very ignorant.

 

Like I said, there is nothing wrong about practicing religion. Religion helps a person becomes more disciplined but it does not always act on the symptoms. Problem with church fanatics is that they fail to understand that when Jesus said "man shall not live by bread alone" he didnt mean you don't need the bread and just keep reading the bible. Also, you can't cure an illness really by saying "Spirit of depression I rebuke you in the name of Jesus". If we could get anything by simply saying the name of "Jesus" all the time, then we would all be lazier human beings now wont we? She does not even understand why I can't trade my exercise schedules to go to their church. I need to keep positive hormones flowing in my blood stream, because if I don't lahat ng bible study na yan, walang magiging epekto kung sobrang down yun mood ko.

[Edmund Dantes]

Yes, I think alot of people don't know depression, and they treat it like it's something nalilipas din parang depress that nag break ng partner, siguro dahil hinde rin masyadong pinapansin ung depression sa pinas unlike sa states. Dito more or less, inuman or good talk lang madalas okay na ung iniisip nila.

 

So true, masyadong ignorante ang mga tao satin kung ano ba talaga ang depression. Stigmatizing people with depression, anxiety disorder, and mental issues is just as bad as making fun of someone with cerebral palsy. Even worse in a sense because sometimes they are thought of as violent lunatics, eh sinong tao ba naman ang gusto madepress? Kung ako tatanungin, magkaroon na ako ng parkinsons o maputulan ng paa, pero huwag lang talaga yung clinical type of depression. Yung tipong di ka na makakain, di ka na makakilos, di mo matakasan yung hirap kahit sa pagtulog mo.

 

And sakin kasi without proper diagnosis, it can actually make it a lot worse to the point maging out of control na buhay mo. Like how some people deal with their depression with vices (drugs, sex and alcohol). Dito na lang sa mga threads, madaming naga-advice na punta ka ng spakol o MP para mawala depression. Actually hindi naman yan tutulong. Maaliw ka saglit oo, pero hangang di mo inaayos problema na nasa iyo, ubos na pera mo, nahawa ka na kung ano anong sakit, naswindle ka ng ng regular attendant mo depressed ka pa din.

[Edmund Dantes]

Kudos to you sir....ok exercise it releases good anti stress hormones...the good thing is exercise still works for you kasi may kilala akong mga girls na Divalproex sodium, rivotril, seroquel and dormicum na yung katapat ng depression nila. They tried yoga, pole dancing and having a lot of sex pero temporary relief lang sa kanila, I belong to an industry kasi na image matters. Nagbiro lang ako sa isang model who is slim hindi na kumain ng lunch and dinner until after the show....lols.

 

Have you tried also St John's Wort? it has .3 percent hypericin which is actually a folk remedy po in Europe. no studies yet to prove its effectiveness pero it works daw accdg to some users I interviewed. Mas mura pa kaysa sa mga SSRI and other CNS drugs.

 

Salamat ulit sa pag share ng situation mo ser.

 

 

 

 

 

No I have not tried that medication. Nagconsult naman ako ng maayos at nadiagnose properly. I was given medication to relieve the symptoms and yun nga exercise dapat, nakuha naman dun.

 

And no problem, we do what we can to try to make people more aware of what depression is and how it really works. Satin kasi ang mga may clinical depression madalas stigmatize ng kung ano ano. Its just as bad as making fun of people who have physical disabilities

[Edmund Dantes]

Pag may sakit ka po na depression mas lalong lumalala if quick fix lang po...pag orgasm may rush ng dopamine sa brain kaya masarap mag release pero sa taong may condition na iba, di masarap sa kanila, it makes them feel dead po and more sad. Pag depressed din bagsak ang libog aka libido...

 

Tama ito. Hindi talaga pleasurable ang sex sa isang taong may depression. After mo labasan, mas magiging bagsak lalo yung mood mo. Add to that hindi ka din makakafunction ng mabuti. Pansamantala siguro maaliw ka, pero tulad ng alak at drugs, pag wala na yung pleasure andun pa din yun sakit. Yan ay dahil hindi mo inaayos ang totoong diperensya. At ang diperensya ay ikaw mismo. Isa pa, mauubos lang pera mo dyan kakabalik hindi mo naman naayos yung totoong problema

[Guest iyukitakahishi]

Try photography.. Might work for you.

 

It worked for me.

[fixedwing]

iv been through this...wat i did was i spend all my available time with hobbies and when d nyt comes....drinking with buddies.....yeah...

[DyosangLigaw]

Iba ang brain damaged sa clinically depressed... We should stop mixing the two. Clinically depressed may be caused by environmental factors like traumatic experiences.