PISCES People Unite

[George Estregan Lives]

Sarap palang mag-haiku. BEar with me because I've one more, this time, in honor of us beautiful Pisceans.

 

the fish in the sea

gently swims tide’s destiny

till shore tells its fate

[marilen]

Ako po Pisces - February 25

 

 

You guys and gals want to celebrate our birthdays somewhere?  Syempre birthday natin yun ... and  the best gift anybody could ever have ... is the gift of new friends and acquaintances 

 

warm regards to all,

 

Jon

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nice idea yan bro sana nga hehehe basta sabihan nio ko ha hehehe

 

[George Estregan Lives]

nice idea yan bro sana nga hehehe basta sabihan nio ko ha hehehe

 

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Me too, i'm in. :cool:

[SunflowR]

wow! George Estregan Lives! pisces ka nga. nice haiku! if u can use few words and strong and edit unnecessary words like articles. let the reader imagine what ur haiku means and u did it. u don't need to tell them what it means. pls write more.

 

do u dedicate ur work to the victims of tsunami, too?

[SunflowR]

follow the star -

it will stop

to where my heart is

[do.ob]

a spec of dust

in a vast medium

sliding smoothly

piercing through atoms

[George Estregan Lives]

wow! George Estregan Lives! pisces ka nga. nice haiku! if u can use few words and strong and edit unnecessary words like articles. let the reader imagine what ur haiku means and u did it. u don't need to tell them what it means. pls write more.

 

do u dedicate ur work to the victims of tsunami, too?

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Thank you SunflowR. I really meant to honor pisceans with my haiku (the fate of fishes and all), but reading back, you're right, it really sounded like it was written for the tsunami victims. Thank you for pointing that out.

 

Thanks for the haiku tips.

 

And thank you, too, for the kind words. I always thought kind words holds more meaning than any well-crafted verse.

[SunflowR]

yw, George Estregan Lives. see? i have other meaning other than what u want to point out. 'am a reader. the meaning of ur haiku to your reader varies. u are an artist in ur own right. i know, u love to observe whereever you are. make use of that. gather words u use to describe ur environment. write them in a paper and make use of it. good luck.

[do.ob]

heheh.... pisceans are really intelligent beings.... they even tend to browse back or back-read through posts or history just to prove their theories' or thoughts' validities... and that includes me..

 

hey sunflower, how bout my haiku? what do you think of it? what sort of scenario or object comes to your mind when you read them?

 

georgie, i did think of us, pisceans when i read your haiku.. cheers!

[SunflowR]

ey, do.ob, i consider ur work as "other poem". it's not a haiku. make it 3 lines.. revise it pls.

 

tips from a haiku teacher:

haiku usually is written in small letters not unless d word is a proper noun.

make a poem that give us concrete pictures. it shows, it does not tell.

pls use picture words not abstract words, like instead of a "flower", u can name d flower like "sunflower", or instead of fruit, u can use "strawberry or apple".

the fewer the words, the better.

[George Estregan Lives]

yw, George Estregan Lives. see? i have other meaning other than what u want to point out. 'am a reader. the meaning of ur haiku to your reader varies. u are an artist in ur own right. i know, u love to observe whereever you are. make use of that. gather words u use to describe ur environment. write them in a paper and make use of it. good luck.

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Oh god, technique! Love 'em. Puts sanity to the written word. Thanks again SunflowR for taking the time and provide me useful virtues in writing haikus. Hopefully I could come up with some more in the coming days, along them notable improvements.

 

You're a real Piscean, sis, not just with your mastery of haiku, but also with your selfless nature in helping others.

 

BTW, I noticed you put up your posts on really wakeful hours. Insomnia, is that a Piscean trait too?

[George Estregan Lives]

heheh.... pisceans are really intelligent beings.... they even tend to browse back or back-read through posts or history just to prove their theories' or thoughts' validities... and that includes me..

 

hey sunflower, how bout my haiku? what do you think of it? what sort of scenario or object comes to your mind when you read them?

 

georgie, i did think of us, pisceans when i read your haiku.. cheers!

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Sali na din ako, do.ob, ha?

 

I cannot say exactly what your verses meant, but I can tell you how I felt.

 

"a spec of dust

in a vast medium

sliding smoothly

piercing through atoms"

 

----> I got feeling of epiphany with your words. A coming of age, as indicated in the imagery of a spec of dust realizing its greater self, its capacity to piece through. I love it.

 

Now, my two cents: I'm, looking at your verses from a literary critics eye. I like the music that is embedded in every word, such as "spec of dust" and "sliding smoothly." You do know music, man, it comes out naturally.

 

If we are going to treat these verses as a poem, I suggest you balance the use of metaphors with prosy lines. I mean, I thougt your words "showed" a bit excessively and I suggest you need to "tell" the readers what you are talking about. Poetry is tension between reality and imagination and you have to let readers traipse between these two worlds for them to appreciate and relate to the experience of words.

 

Best of luck, man. You have the gift.

[SunflowR]

^'am million miles far away from u if u are now in the phils. are u? 'am writing not at night but day, but i agree, am insomiac. are u, too?i f u know the home base of buccaneers(football) and lightning(hockey), 'am from there.

 

nice analysis, george. only piscean can do that. thank u, too. thats humility, accepting the works of other people.

 

try writing haiku, do.ob. but u specialize more in longer poems. you can express more of urself, dat's much better.

[SunflowR]

This week January 17 through January 23

 

Socially your life is humming and thrumming in ways that you find very appealing. Mercury and Venus are fun, and you are getting to meet a lot of people who can help you in wonderful ways. The Sun moves into Aquarius, which is great for finding that place of calm and peace within and for taking the more spiritual route. Look inward instead of outward, and see what happens as a result. Mars in Sagittarius stirs up your career aspirations and enables you to take firm and decisive action in the direction of your dreams.

[do.ob]

hi sunflower and george,

hehe.. a slight modified haiku after considering both your thoughts....

 

a spec of dust

in a vast medium

sliding,weaving

piercing through atoms

 

hmm... sunflower, are haikus three liners or are four liners also haikus? coz i got a friend before who makes haiku in four lines... ?

 

ill tell you guys what i am referring to in my haiku in my next post.

 

about this metaphor thingie.. haha.. i dunno how to really balance metaphors and prosy lines... but what i did was to define a certain thing through the use of tangents... of how it seems to me if it were a particle..