do.ob Posted January 15, 2005 Share Posted January 15, 2005 a spec of dustin a vast mediumsliding smoothlypiercing through atoms Quote Link to comment
George Estregan Lives Posted January 17, 2005 Share Posted January 17, 2005 wow! George Estregan Lives! pisces ka nga. nice haiku! if u can use few words and strong and edit unnecessary words like articles. let the reader imagine what ur haiku means and u did it. u don't need to tell them what it means. pls write more. do u dedicate ur work to the victims of tsunami, too?<{POST_SNAPBACK}> Thank you SunflowR. I really meant to honor pisceans with my haiku (the fate of fishes and all), but reading back, you're right, it really sounded like it was written for the tsunami victims. Thank you for pointing that out. Thanks for the haiku tips. And thank you, too, for the kind words. I always thought kind words holds more meaning than any well-crafted verse. Quote Link to comment
SunflowR Posted January 17, 2005 Share Posted January 17, 2005 yw, George Estregan Lives. see? i have other meaning other than what u want to point out. 'am a reader. the meaning of ur haiku to your reader varies. u are an artist in ur own right. i know, u love to observe whereever you are. make use of that. gather words u use to describe ur environment. write them in a paper and make use of it. good luck. Quote Link to comment
do.ob Posted January 17, 2005 Share Posted January 17, 2005 heheh.... pisceans are really intelligent beings.... they even tend to browse back or back-read through posts or history just to prove their theories' or thoughts' validities... and that includes me.. hey sunflower, how bout my haiku? what do you think of it? what sort of scenario or object comes to your mind when you read them? georgie, i did think of us, pisceans when i read your haiku.. cheers! Quote Link to comment
SunflowR Posted January 17, 2005 Share Posted January 17, 2005 ey, do.ob, i consider ur work as "other poem". it's not a haiku. make it 3 lines.. revise it pls. tips from a haiku teacher:haiku usually is written in small letters not unless d word is a proper noun.make a poem that give us concrete pictures. it shows, it does not tell. pls use picture words not abstract words, like instead of a "flower", u can name d flower like "sunflower", or instead of fruit, u can use "strawberry or apple". the fewer the words, the better. Quote Link to comment
George Estregan Lives Posted January 18, 2005 Share Posted January 18, 2005 yw, George Estregan Lives. see? i have other meaning other than what u want to point out. 'am a reader. the meaning of ur haiku to your reader varies. u are an artist in ur own right. i know, u love to observe whereever you are. make use of that. gather words u use to describe ur environment. write them in a paper and make use of it. good luck.<{POST_SNAPBACK}> Oh god, technique! Love 'em. Puts sanity to the written word. Thanks again SunflowR for taking the time and provide me useful virtues in writing haikus. Hopefully I could come up with some more in the coming days, along them notable improvements. You're a real Piscean, sis, not just with your mastery of haiku, but also with your selfless nature in helping others. BTW, I noticed you put up your posts on really wakeful hours. Insomnia, is that a Piscean trait too? Quote Link to comment
George Estregan Lives Posted January 18, 2005 Share Posted January 18, 2005 heheh.... pisceans are really intelligent beings.... they even tend to browse back or back-read through posts or history just to prove their theories' or thoughts' validities... and that includes me.. hey sunflower, how bout my haiku? what do you think of it? what sort of scenario or object comes to your mind when you read them? georgie, i did think of us, pisceans when i read your haiku.. cheers!<{POST_SNAPBACK}> Sali na din ako, do.ob, ha? I cannot say exactly what your verses meant, but I can tell you how I felt. "a spec of dustin a vast mediumsliding smoothlypiercing through atoms" ----> I got feeling of epiphany with your words. A coming of age, as indicated in the imagery of a spec of dust realizing its greater self, its capacity to piece through. I love it. Now, my two cents: I'm, looking at your verses from a literary critics eye. I like the music that is embedded in every word, such as "spec of dust" and "sliding smoothly." You do know music, man, it comes out naturally. If we are going to treat these verses as a poem, I suggest you balance the use of metaphors with prosy lines. I mean, I thougt your words "showed" a bit excessively and I suggest you need to "tell" the readers what you are talking about. Poetry is tension between reality and imagination and you have to let readers traipse between these two worlds for them to appreciate and relate to the experience of words. Best of luck, man. You have the gift. Quote Link to comment
SunflowR Posted January 18, 2005 Share Posted January 18, 2005 ^'am million miles far away from u if u are now in the phils. are u? 'am writing not at night but day, but i agree, am insomiac. are u, too?i f u know the home base of buccaneers(football) and lightning(hockey), 'am from there. nice analysis, george. only piscean can do that. thank u, too. thats humility, accepting the works of other people. try writing haiku, do.ob. but u specialize more in longer poems. you can express more of urself, dat's much better. Quote Link to comment
SunflowR Posted January 18, 2005 Share Posted January 18, 2005 This week January 17 through January 23 Socially your life is humming and thrumming in ways that you find very appealing. Mercury and Venus are fun, and you are getting to meet a lot of people who can help you in wonderful ways. The Sun moves into Aquarius, which is great for finding that place of calm and peace within and for taking the more spiritual route. Look inward instead of outward, and see what happens as a result. Mars in Sagittarius stirs up your career aspirations and enables you to take firm and decisive action in the direction of your dreams. Quote Link to comment
do.ob Posted January 20, 2005 Share Posted January 20, 2005 hi sunflower and george,hehe.. a slight modified haiku after considering both your thoughts.... a spec of dustin a vast mediumsliding,weavingpiercing through atoms hmm... sunflower, are haikus three liners or are four liners also haikus? coz i got a friend before who makes haiku in four lines... ? ill tell you guys what i am referring to in my haiku in my next post. about this metaphor thingie.. haha.. i dunno how to really balance metaphors and prosy lines... but what i did was to define a certain thing through the use of tangents... of how it seems to me if it were a particle.. Quote Link to comment
do.ob Posted January 20, 2005 Share Posted January 20, 2005 ey, do.ob, i consider ur work as "other poem". it's not a haiku. make it 3 lines.. revise it pls. tips from a haiku teacher:haiku usually is written in small letters not unless d word is a proper noun.make a poem that give us concrete pictures. it shows, it does not tell. pls use picture words not abstract words, like instead of a "flower", u can name d flower like "sunflower", or instead of fruit, u can use "strawberry or apple". the fewer the words, the better.<{POST_SNAPBACK}> hi sunflower.. thanks for the tips! greatly appreciated them! ok... so haiku is much more complicated than it seems... coz the simpler and the fewer the words are in haiku, the more abstract the meaning becomes.... the harder it is to pinpoint what it really intends to say... which makes me think the guy who created haiku is a piscean.. for no one can be any more vague to other signs than a piscean. but to us, it's as simple as abc. so what i created is more of a chant than a haiku.. heheh.. cool! ;D here's another: yellow pollentwo bees suckinhoney lining more advice please.. Quote Link to comment
do.ob Posted January 20, 2005 Share Posted January 20, 2005 i just got this enlightening thought.. we seem to be like the thinkers of old... when plato's sitting, thinking, guiding, talking with his apprentices on a cliff.. sitting on rocks... under a tree... overlooking the ocean.. this thread looks like a really promising thread for thoughts... it's like that part of history has repeated itself now in the form of forums and threads... exchanging thoughts and ideas.... no singular adviser but anyone can help anyone else... Quote Link to comment
do.ob Posted January 20, 2005 Share Posted January 20, 2005 i just got this enlightening thought.. we seem to be like the thinkers of old... when plato's sitting, thinking, guiding, talking with his apprentices on a cliff.. sitting on rocks... under a tree... overlooking the ocean.. this thread looks like a really promising thread for thoughts... it's like that part of history has repeated itself now in the form of forums and threads... exchanging thoughts and ideas.... no singular adviser but anyone can help anyone else... Quote Link to comment
marilen Posted January 20, 2005 Share Posted January 20, 2005 (edited) kainggit naman kayo marunong kayo gumawa ng poems parang ndi yata ako nahilig dyan hehehe ndi ko pa nasusubok kung meron akong talent dyan wahehehe i knw pisceans are intelligent beings and i guess iba iba din ang ikot ng puyo natin wahehehe have a nice day everyoneeeeeeeee Edited January 21, 2005 by marilen Quote Link to comment
do.ob Posted January 20, 2005 Share Posted January 20, 2005 hi len.. just read your post.. hehe.. i got particularly caught with your signature about "friendship" not that i thought about friendship (or interaction) and how much i think it is of a factor in developing every single creature.... but rather about time and distance... hehehe... i have been thinking about these two things and their relationships to creation. i have this theory that god's only formulated work is time. distance is a concept developed by man because of the existence of time. and that when god or the gods created time, he created randomly all the other particles in the whole universe.. big or small... but they are all set randomly with the use of a lot of predefined factors (such as dream, death, destiny, desire, despair, destruction and delirium; the zodiacs; the seasons, etc.) on poetry... haha... sigurado ako kaya mo rin... ayaw mo lang kasi iba hilig mo.. pero we are very versatile beings... very maleable... kaya kahit ano isalpak sating mga pisceans, magagawa natin basta magfocus tayo dun. Quote Link to comment
SunflowR Posted January 20, 2005 Share Posted January 20, 2005 ^ very well said, do.ob. u got claps from me for making dat haiku. clap! clap! clap! see? u can do it , too, and marilen. i know, she can do it. but pisceans are versatile. i was a student of haiku before and still is. that's haiku for us, the nowness. 'am more observant now esp my environment. i always carry a pen and paper and everytime i encounter circumstance that caught my attention, u put it in writing. i need to so that i can't forget. more tips as shared by a haiku teacher:- on the first line of a haiku, state one time or season or incident like the setting sun, sunset, the rising moon, northern lights, moonless sky, etc. u can create.-on the second and third line, state d incident. my example: after the storm -thousands of people hide behind monster waves @SunflowR i dedicate dis haiku to d tragic event that happened last dec. 26, 2005, tsunami in southeast asia. write more, do.ob. where's george? Quote Link to comment
sidlopez_x Posted January 20, 2005 Share Posted January 20, 2005 malapit na bday natin? saan ang bday party? i was bornin vast oceanlife is beautiful! pwede na bang haiku yan? hehehe Quote Link to comment
sidlopez_x Posted January 20, 2005 Share Posted January 20, 2005 hi len.. just read your post.. hehe.. i got particularly caught with your signature about "friendship" not that i thought about friendship (or interaction) and how much i think it is of a factor in developing every single creature.... but rather about time and distance... hehehe... i have been thinking about these two things and their relationships to creation. i have this theory that god's only formulated work is time. distance is a concept developed by man because of the existence of time. and that when god or the gods created time, he created randomly all the other particles in the whole universe.. big or small... but they are all set randomly with the use of a lot of predefined factors (such as dream, death, destiny, desire, despair, destruction and delirium; the zodiacs; the seasons, etc.) on poetry... haha... sigurado ako kaya mo rin... ayaw mo lang kasi iba hilig mo.. pero we are very versatile beings... very maleable... kaya kahit ano isalpak sating mga pisceans, magagawa natin basta magfocus tayo dun. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> here's a thought.. time and distance pertain to the physical world. they are essetial elements of creation. try pondering on time and space rather than time and distance to get a better picture. Quote Link to comment
do.ob Posted January 20, 2005 Share Posted January 20, 2005 hehehe... nice nice to have you reacting, sid... hehehe.. no time to put more posts on this right now tho.. but yeah, ill get back with more interesting thoughts thanks so much! Quote Link to comment
SunflowR Posted January 20, 2005 Share Posted January 20, 2005 i dedicate dis haiku to d tragic event that happened last dec. 26, 2005, tsunami in southeast asia. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> oh, my goodness! that should be written dec. 26, 2004. baka sabihin 'am predicting another one. i don't want that to happen. my esp is strong but not to that. Quote Link to comment
SunflowR Posted January 20, 2005 Share Posted January 20, 2005 nice one , sidlopez_x. good try. mabuhay ung piscean. dats a gift no one can grab. ipagpatuloy mo. Quote Link to comment
marilen Posted January 21, 2005 Share Posted January 21, 2005 hi len.. just read your post.. hehe.. i got particularly caught with your signature about "friendship" not that i thought about friendship (or interaction) and how much i think it is of a factor in developing every single creature.... but rather about time and distance... hehehe... i have been thinking about these two things and their relationships to creation. i have this theory that god's only formulated work is time. distance is a concept developed by man because of the existence of time. and that when god or the gods created time, he created randomly all the other particles in the whole universe.. big or small... but they are all set randomly with the use of a lot of predefined factors (such as dream, death, destiny, desire, despair, destruction and delirium; the zodiacs; the seasons, etc.) on poetry... haha... sigurado ako kaya mo rin... ayaw mo lang kasi iba hilig mo.. pero we are very versatile beings... very maleable... kaya kahit ano isalpak sating mga pisceans, magagawa natin basta magfocus tayo dun. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> korek ka dyan hehehe saludo ako sa sinabi mo :cool: yan din ang napansin ko satin kahit ano basta may focus kaya natin me nga minsan tingnan ko lang eh then pag sinubukan ko na gawin kuha agad meron yata sariling takbo ang ating isip wahehehe :upside: Quote Link to comment
sidlopez_x Posted January 21, 2005 Share Posted January 21, 2005 There was an incident when my ex GF attended her bestfriend's debut. Ewan ko ba but I had this feeling that I MUST not allow her to attend it. I couldnt attend the event coz of some important commitment. I warned her that I have this feeling that if she attends this debut it might change our lives forever. But I have no choice so I allowed her. After that, it did changed our lives forever... WALA NA KAMI NGAYON. (kayo na bahalang magisip kung ano ang nangyari sa debut) :cry:<{POST_SNAPBACK}> ano nangyari? when did this happen? you knew it was coming? how? Quote Link to comment
do.ob Posted January 21, 2005 Share Posted January 21, 2005 hi sid... here's more on the time, distance and space thingie... disclaimer: these are just my thoughts.. i havent based them on any scientific book or anything pero these are just from observations and the random things going on in my mind (based from things ive seen, experienced, observed, derived, etc..) i believe that without time, there will not be distance. kasi say you stand at point A in laguna and you need to go to point B in manila.... if there's time, there is a distance travelled relative to time.. but if say, we can teleport from point A directly to point B, e di ala ng time required.. split second time probably pero that's all.. and that means almost removing the sense of distance.. or perhaps removing distance altogether.. posible di ba? sooo.. in essense, even the sense of space wont be existence if time dont exist. kasi travelling from one space to another would require time.. coz speed itself requires time. so yeah, i believe that if there's anything a god or a group of gods did create and put their guts out and perspired blood to create, it would be the concept of time. all other things, like animals, trees, plants, humans, birds.. we are given preprogrammed tasks or what we call INSTINCTS. we're just lucky to be the highest form of creation. and the internet is his tool to unite the world into one belief.. one god (or same essensed belief), one nation, one world, one universe. more thoughts when i get warped into god mode thinking again.. Quote Link to comment
do.ob Posted January 21, 2005 Share Posted January 21, 2005 ---------answers to my haikus: yellow pollentwo bees suckinhoney lining >>> that's the basic smiley face a spec of dustin a vast mediumsliding,weavingpiercing through atoms >>> that's a fish swimming in the ocean of salty water atoms. Quote Link to comment
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