The Mail Box

[Barenaked-NoMre]

Ate N,

 

You call always asking me how I am. You know my situation.

 

Again, you try using others to talk to me. Grrrr!!!

 

Never will I allow you to manipulate me with other people.

 

Learn. Respect. Please!

 

A

[Wyld]

 

Sweetstuff,

 

Merci.

Vous m'avez encouragé démesurément en haut les jours passés.

Je pleurniche explique pourquoi ou comment.

Vous faites juste.

Merci pour bein là-bas, pour makin l'effort, pour soigner.

Comme je toujours dis, aucuns mots sont jamais assez.

Je peux espérer seulement mon spectacle d'actions vous quels mots ne peuvent-ils pas.

S'occuper de vous.

 

- votre framboise

Edited February 6, 2006 by Wyld

[sweetpsyche]

im sorry.

i just cant do it anymore.

sorry.

goodbye.

[Barenaked-NoMre]

Found out thru your posts what you've been doing and how you really feel.

 

To HELL with you! Thought you were different ... apparently not at all.

 

You're just like the rest of them.

Edited February 8, 2006 by barenaked

[PINOY_SEXPLORER]

why can't you be honest with yourself?

your career and personal goals take precedence above all else

you convince yourself that what your doing will benefit others more,

you use them as part of your motivation to pursue your dreams...

your dreams which only beneficiary is you

you ignore how the people who really matter are direly affected by your fruitless pursuits

but you choose not to see it this way, in your eyes it is a noble cause

then you tell me i'm self-centered

what a lie!

[missmanners]

i am afraid of psychics.

 

despite my cynicism, there's a part of me that believes they can really see me. inside of me, through me. it's frightening even just writing abou it.

 

my first encounter with a fortune teller (her mode of fortune-telling was tarot cards) left me in tears. this most recent one i saw almost did. if i weren't so stunned in disbelief, i probably would've.

 

sometimes i wonder, am i that transparent that any old "manghuhula" can use what he or she sees to tell me what i don't see? to pass off their incredible observations and perceptions as fact? or are they just so witty and clever with generalizations??? knowing which set of words will get me undone and unglued?

 

i don't know. but however they do it, the effect is always the same. shock. denial. anger. bargaining. acceptance. i clutch the piece of paper with all his "wisdoms" and i wonder, could this really be the key to my happiness?

 

i want to tell you about all these but i don't know how. you think i'm psycho enough as it is.

[Barenaked-NoMre]

Y,

 

I hope you make the right decision for yourself.

 

I know how tempting things are at the moment.

 

But ... you might regret. Things could blow up in your face leaving you with nothing.

 

You have a good thing going for you ... think about that.

 

Really ... do.

 

Wish I have what you do.

 

A

[KristinLavransdatr]

CFM,

 

maybe it is true what they say:

 

love is wanting to write to and about someone and not knowing what to write.

 

love is trusting someone and not knowing why you do.

 

love is having so many better options and shutting my eyes so i can see only you.

 

love is acting normal but your systems are acting up inside.

 

love is incomplete with reasons and complete without.

 

love is a nonsensical line like the one above. and finally for now,

 

love is writing about love when you know that the lousiest of love notes are those with the word love in them.

 

 

Y

Edited February 9, 2006 by KristinLavransdatr

[Wolf]

What can I say?

 

You overwhelmed me last night, and that's something that has not been done to me by a girl for a long time. You really are one of a kind. You have no idea how much appreciate what you did. It may be a small thing to you, something that you ordinarily do to your friends, but to me it is a big deal.

 

Take care always. Whatever happens, you'll always have that special spot in my heart.

 

[Sequenenre Tao]

ok... tapos na... wala na yun taong ayaw na ayaw mo. ngaun, masaya kaba? akala mo ikaw ang bida... ang hindi mo alam, ikaw ang kalaban dito. mag bago kana, sobra na pagka walang modo mo

[LB]

hi lo,

 

no matter what, my intention was not to show up. absolutely, no visits. sad moments makes me sick. i don't care if out entire clan would think badly of me. sorry. when lola was dying, i disappeared for a while. i hope you can still remember it. deep in my heart, i wanted to help and show her the highest form of love i am capable of giving. i am a certified lola's girl. everyone in our family is aware of that. in my university days, i dreamed of taking both of you to a foreign land where retirement days would be better spent. your month-long vacation in the states is just a piece of a huge pie. you guys deserve more. i want you to enjoy a luxurious life before going back to heaven. but, your life is faster than the accomplishment of my plans, dreams and all good things in it. after that final exam as a university student, lola passed away. just like that. he took her just like that. anytime now, he will take you. god, i don't know how to feel about it now. your dream has always been to die. i don't understand you sometimes. there is so much to live for. or maybe, you are tired. i could imagine myself, 96 years of age. maybe, i would even feel the same in my 40's.

 

mom nagged me into it. so, i came. seeing you like that pained me. you are paper-thin. can hardly get up and speak. i don't even know if you can recognize me. i managed to hold you hands still. and, kissed your forehead. gave a weak smile. full of pretensions. god, how i wish i didn't go. lola's dying moments flashed in an instant. i slept it off.

 

few last words lo, in spite of the language barrier and your hearing difficulty... these are the things i would like you to know before passing away. i thank him for giving me a chinese lolo who is so handsome. tough luck, i didn't get your high-bridged nose. lo, thank you for always telling me that i am beautiful. "suysuy." one of your favorite adjectives to describe me. then, there goes intelligent. sometimes, i think that i was never both. but you made it sound more than real. thank you for being proud of me including my work. actually, it is more of where i work. thank you for patronizing the local channel now eventhough i know that you only want to watch chinese shows. thank you for being my lolo. for all the material and especially the non-material things that you left me. no one could take those away. i love you more than i can show. i wish to see you in that special place for good souls someday. please say hi to lola for me too. also, tell her that i am sorry for living like this, so far from what she taught me. i don't even go to church anymore. i love her too. goodbye lo.

 

i hope that god would make a way for these words to reach you. for i could not speak in front of you.

 

[KristinLavransdatr]

what if what i have aren't exactly what i need? do i say, "fine, i will make do with that"? that there are many people who have so much less and i should be ashamed of myself taking for granted what's before me?

 

but what i am thankful for at night is that i am not danish and that i am not that abs-cbn production manager. i am thankful that i am me now and that my problem is only about choices, that i don't have nightmares and constant fear of being attacked and kidnapped.

 

i am not quite afraid of making the wrong decisions. i have lived half of my life making those; the other half being the best years as rewards for the errors turned good life's lessons.

 

i am treading on fire atop a balance beam a thousand feet off the ground. i am here because i couldn't be found sitting content because it appears i have gotten what could be the best deal of a lifetime. i have been given so much, let me suffer with discontent. if only to be fair to those whose life has been an organized catalog of misfortune.

Edited February 9, 2006 by KristinLavransdatr

[missmanners]

you suck.

 

a boss that makes his employees feel nothing but fear and dread and uncertainty is the worst kind of boss. i don't know why you have your job. granted you were lucky enough to have that one good talent. maybe you kissed the right asses. or maybe it was just a matter of right timing. but you lack the skills necessary to run this joint. everybody tries to pass off all that's wrong with the excuse that at least we all get along. but even that is so superficial and shallow.

 

no one is safe here. or maybe some people are. what i do know is i've never been safe from the start. i came on board just simply wanting to do this job. little did i know what kind of ass-kissing i had to do, how thick my skin had to be, how many words i had to choose not to say, how many smiles i had to learn to fake. all i wanted was to work. and i even said i was willing to do it for free. and although i know that i am not the best one in the industry, not even in this company, i had the passion and the willingness to be better because i wanted it that much. i swallowed my pride. did not complain when some things due me never even got to me. did not fight back when people chit-chatted about me behind my back.

 

and now you're going to take it against me that i did not go some place. f**k. what kind of reason is that to get mad at me for. tell me i suck. tell me i'm not cut out for this job. tell me i have no talent. that i'm only kidding myself. tell me that. but don't tell me it's because i can't get along with pople here. don't tell me i might lose my job because you all choose to think the worst of me. don't tell me it's because i chose not to get on the dang car and enjoy myself in f**king paradise instead of try to make a living so i can pay my bills.

 

what did i ever really do to you anyway?

 

i sure hope you can explain. because if you can't do it, i'm prepared to contest it the whole way.

 

bring it on, bitch.

Edited February 9, 2006 by missmanners

[missmanners]

btw.

 

you're a spinless little man with a dick to go with it. you try to pass yourself off as this diplomatic person but you're about as diplomatic as my ass when i want to take a crap. you have a huge chip on your shoulder even bigger than our dear manager. you have pride that's really difficult to take. tangna. ang yabang mo. wala kang karapatan. leche.

 

it's people like you that will never be bigger than what you think you are now.

 

nagpakulay ka pa ng buhok. tangna. sindihan kaya kita.

 

it angers me to no end that i'm affected to this level. but at this point, i don't really care. you suck. and that's all i need to know.

Edited February 9, 2006 by missmanners

[Barenaked-NoMre]

JAL,

 

It's GREAT news that you're now an Auzzi citizen! ;-) This is what you wanted. You ALWAYS get what you want. Wish you could tell me your secret, so I too may get what I want and deserve.

 

Am glad you and the hubby spent New Years in NZ. Am sure you had a blast.

 

Are you getting married this year? When? Should I go?

 

Write me soon.

 

A

[LostCommand]

The floodgates are let loose. I am writing again, in the same manner as I work and f**k and lead and live.

 

I know of no other way

 

LC

[LB]

My friend,

 

I am happy for you. I am glad for him. The house is fantastic. Sorry, for falling asleep on your favorite couch. Lost some energy over the long chitchat. Don’t worry, none of it would come out from me. Talked to your mom, dad and lil sister before our meeting. Told you that one, right? They will know nothing from me (do or die situation eh). Friends till the end. My loyalty belongs to you. Hey, thank you for the offer (and the following: soup, green mango, chips ahoy, pizza, etc.). I would love to stay with you guys. The room is great (a bit too big for me though). It’s just that I would still want to spend some time with my immediate family specially my siblings. I want see them grow up. As much as I can. You know me; I have this crazy thought of dying young. Hahaha. Good people do live short lives. I know that you won’t buy this. Definitely an alibi for you.

 

Extend my thanks to doc ha! He is uber nice. Actually, too goody-good for you bitch. Hahaha. I am not bitter. I am really in the state of euphoria for you best. I hope your relationship would last a lifetime. It is really difficult to start all over again. I do sound afraid. Don’t I? Hahaha. I envy you bruha!

 

I would sleep over some time. Whatchasay? Hehehe. Love you both!

 

Frix

 

[LostCommand]

Honey,

 

It is that time of year again, a time of beautiful tingling

 

When the wind is still wintry cool on the cheeks, and the grass still so wet and green

Yet already the skies are clear, crystal, cloudless, an infinite heartbreak blue

The brilliant yellow sun momentarily coexists with a green rain rich earth

 

February and March where our months, we called that time, graduation weather,

and we breathed in that fresh scent of cut crops on those long weekends

in the great sighing northern highlands I called home.

 

But our coexistence, like the weather, did not stay. I lost you, your husky voice,

smooth tan skin, and such sharp skills of mind and words.

I lost you, and your delicate fingers.

 

I march on, enslaved to bitter destiny, the earth about now burnt and summer sere.

But perpetually the seasons cycle return to our months.

and so I cling with hungry hands to those memories of long ago,

hoping that you too remember, and that you too would return.

 

All partings are temporary! Friends are forever!

 

Love is for all time.

 

 

--Felix Villaflor IV.

[Barenaked-NoMre]

C.L.

 

I know ... I couldnt text you back.

 

I feel the same way.

 

You take care over there.

 

CUM back soon.

 

A

[Barenaked-NoMre]

I know you're out there ... with your NEW women.

 

Well, have got some of my own too ... am not missing much from you.

 

You didnt even know what you were doing half the time.

 

Who'd want that?

[missmanners]

bad trip. irritated. annoyed.

 

you're breaking my heart and you don't even know it.

Edited February 14, 2006 by missmanners

[LB]

ss,

 

pasensha na. di ko sinasadya. may sayad lang talaga ako kahapon kaya di ako sumagot agad. oo, alam ko. gusto mong makipagkita. badtrip ka naman kase. alam mo naman na magkababata kami nun. sinabi mo pa lahat. sana sinarili mo nalang. nawalan tuloy ako ng amor sayo. alam ko umiyak ka nanaman. sa lahat naman ng lalakeng nakilala ko ikaw ang pinaka-mababaw ang luha. ang hirap naman neto. wag ka ngang ganyan, di mo naman ako dapat iyakan. di ako ung babaeng pinapangarap mo noh. sablay ako. sigurado ako, natuwa ka lang saken pero maniwala ka di ako un. isa akong baliw. sige na, wag mo nang damdamin ang lahat. marami pa naman dyang iba eh. gwapo ka naman, matalino, matangkad, mayaman at maambisyon na bata. baka madala lang kita sa kapariwaraan. sayang. baka sabunutan ako ng mga ate mo. hahaha. uuwi kaya sila galing sa tate. joke lang. shet, naguguilty tuloy ako. may balik nanaman ito. panigurado. sana mapatawad mo ako dinamay pa kita sa kabwisetan ko. pasensha na talaga. hayaan mo pag matino na uli ako. pwede na siguro tayong magkita. sa panahon na iyon, wag ka nang mag-imbento ng kung ano-anong dahilan. sabihin mo nalang. ang chaka kase. o sha, sana maka-alis ka na sa madaling panahon. ingat ka ha. salamat sa lahat-lahat.

 

*****

[Wolf]

Hi. Amazing isn't it?

 

Butterflies in your stomach... indescribable feeling whenever your phone makes that sound saying you have a new message... I'm at a loss on what to do with you.

 

I am so vulnerable to your sweet, little ways.... You're simply killing me.

 

I love it!

[KristinLavransdatr]

being away from you makes me crazy, makes sin tastes like sugar-free ice cream.

 

guilt a bastion of little elves gnawing away flesh bit by bit using their bloody needle teeth.

 

my strength of faith i draw from you, my only salvation, the last to deliver me from the truth of hell, defend me against the lies of heaven.

 

and if now i put all the wrong words in a mixer, putting words side by side to cause defiance of existing beliefs, may you take me back to comfort after i face those whom i wronged.

[smaug]

L,

 

I miss you so.

 

P