The Mail Box

[simon b]

hi c,

 

i'm sad that you didn't...

disappointed that i didn't...

 

will you.........me?

i did......you ages ago

 

 

b

[chiquezee]

Dearest Sis,

(and Bro,)

 

 

I see this year ending with the absence of two people dearest to me.

 

You have made a choice of leading a quiet life, away from the usual noise of empty chatters, whining machines, perturbed mental consciousness that tarnishes souls to squeaking rusts.

 

Festive occasions that are, to other people, ordinary calendar days, will no longer have the usual joyful clatter of silverwares and pompous displays of sumptuous home cooked dishes. Exchanges of wonderfully wrapped boxes will no longer be a game of "three guesses and that gift is mine." There will be no more exchanges of sarcastic remarks and endless teasing that leave us crying of excessive laughter. There will be no more toying with images using the cameras, capturing one another in most awkward positions and expressions.

 

Family meetings will no longer be a fiery exchange of opinions and exasperated sighs, with the north east wind banging against the west wind. There will be no more need to vote or draw lots, as we used to, when there is a stale mate among us ... There will be no more patting on each others backs when we exchange records of tallied arrows. There will be no debates on why our education is suffering in the first place, or whether or not we can deter the population boom, or if the assassination of Ninoy was by the CIA, or if the Jews will soon take over the borders, and if Gorbachev was right to effect the autonomy of states.

 

There will be no more race as to who gets to figure out what Papa is implying. There will be no more hushed conversations about disagreements with Mom. Or exchange of notes about how we won a specific war. Or holding of hands when we bow our heads in deep prayer during crucial life-altering moments.

 

There will be no more silly four-way quad-lingual conversations of German, French, Spanish, and English (when we don't know how to translate a foolish statement.) And the occasional throw of your own version of Nihongo and my imitation of Mandarin.

 

There will be no more comparisons of writings, and art. No critiques, no more.

 

There will be no more brooding over plans and ideas. Business talks will have to be suspended. The angst about our land ownership in the south and in the other country, and the task of securing the documents of all these, will have to be shouldered alone.

 

It will be very quiet, very soon, and the smell of brewed coffee will no longer fill the room as often.

 

I can already feel the vacuum... No one can occupy your seats in the family.

 

There will be two chairs vacant. Even with the subsequent coming in of two more, your seats will be reserved.

 

You continue to hold the birth right. And though for the time being, I shall have to take the reins and take it upon myself to make sure everything is in order, I will continue to turn to you for assurance that what I will be doing, and deciding, will be for the best interest of every member of our family.

 

I have shared my victories and defeats with you, from the time I was three and was getting stars and medals. I have shared many laughs and tears with you, from the time I began to feel the pain of spankings. I have shared secrets with you, from the time I realized what I did will be disapproved by mom and dad.

 

For a long time I stood under your shadows, shielded by your looming persona. But you helped me be who I am, on my own, by not forcing me to be like you, or to think like you, nor to write like you. In the end, I continued to look up to you. Until now.

 

Before the year ends, things will be different. There shall be an overcast sky above us.

 

You will not be able to understand the triple doze of pain I will have to go through. (Three departures in one year, to three different countries, by four people I love so dearly.)

 

We will call. We will write. We'll chat with webcams. But technology can never take the place of your presence.

 

But you have made a choice to conquer new worlds, even if you didn't have to, for you are already established where you are right now. Still, we are behind you...

 

I love you dearly, like only a sister next in line can.

 

 

 

Truly,

I.P.

Edited June 22, 2007 by chiquezee

[chiquezee]

TO: A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, and Z:

 

 

I have no time for nonsense.

I am not impressed.

I have no intentions of knowing.

I am not interested.

 

Move along, move along...

Go!

Leave me be.

Can't you take a hint?

 

No.

Not.

Nope.

Never.

 

Unavailable.

Already taken.

Recently owned.

Still possessed.

 

I am unfortunately cursed to be dedicated

and faithful

and loyal

and foolish

and true

and blind, to but one.

 

 

Good day,

Good luck,

Good riddance,

Godspeed!

 

 

 

 

- C

[Wyld]

dear mr tobi...

 

you didnt tell me that the kid escaped from the padded cell.

if you need help reining the kid in please let us know immediately.

the proliferation of nuts in the area has reached alarming proportions yet again.

 

sincerely,

 

-w

[destron]

miss

i still doubt that that was your first time

i cant make you spill though

either youre telling the truth

or i just suck at interrogating

 

hope to interrogate you once again

Edited June 21, 2007 by destron

[chiquezee]

Ah, yes, it is true, indeed. One despises that which the exiguous mind cannot comprehend. What a pitiful excuse you are of a simpleton.

 

- Chiquezee

[LoveSpell]

Where ka na kaya?? Miss na kita.. :cry:

[willow_boy]

Against my very core I've gone,

Thus the profound sadness I feel.

Edited June 24, 2007 by willow_boy

[LoveSpell]

Prof,

 

It was indeed a summer of tears, of memories and forgotten promises… it was the beginning of my change and it was the time I realized who I was and what I had to do.

 

LS

[David Aames]

Dear,

 

I dunno what happened you asked for some alone time, perhaps you got bothered with what i said. Ya see, i'm not the other guys you've been with before who left you and made you cry. Whenever you mention his name and all the things he said and you guys did, you never heard anything from me coz i know it happened in the past... but never superimpose what he did, said to you on me. I am not him. All the pics you still have and letters as well of him you still keep for what? You see haven't really let him go. I've given you more than any guy in your life have.

 

Don't make me take a second look for i look for the one who never makes me look in the first place.

[Wyld]

...you have made me feel unsafe in your presence. that is why i have chosen to withdraw.

 

dont pressure me to find any answers - that will make me less likely to find them.

 

dont force me to be something im not - that will make me more likely to be something you wouldnt like.

 

there. i have said it as simply and as plainly as possible.

 

in the end, what was disappointing is ... these are things you should have known. should have known for a long time now.

 

and you dont. maybe you never did.

 

[angel_by_day]

my sincerest apologies.... im just so grateful...that i got to meet you at least once in this lifetime....

[rdaq97]

Hey

 

I'm contemplating if I should send you a message today. After what I said last night, I might as well have spilled all my cards. And just so you know that I am paying attention, you never call me by my full name unless you are annoyed by what I say. (even if my nickname to you is longer than my actual name.)

 

I am bored out of my mind. When I try to think I am tortured by images of you and him happy together. but that is the life you have chosen. And while I have sworn not to stand in the way of your happiness, that doesn't mean I have to sit here and take it. This is not how I function.

 

Yes, we are still friends. sigh. Maybe I do fit the nice guy profile that we talk about a lot. I'm always the shoulder they cry on. I'm always the patient advisor. And I've never really regretted that until you came along. And I remember all those nice I tried to console you. ALL OF THEM. Thinking that maybe I should have poisoned your mind and made you hate him. But I tried to be as objective as I could.

 

So go spend the 4th of July with him. I'll still be here when you come back. I'll still be your friend as hard as it is for me to overcome my other feelings for you. But for now, I hope you finally understand that I feel hurt because I never really got the chance to show you what I am about.

 

I hope he treats you the way you deserve to be treated. Wag nya naman sanang sayangin yung mga pinapangarap ko.

Edited June 27, 2007 by rdaq97

[iwalkalone]

Well well well!...what do we have here? you've been texting them? poor thing!

f#&k you! why do you keep clearing up your rotten image to them? what

good would that do? what you want them to hate me? why do you want

them to know you're the good guy here? dumbass! that won't do you any

good ..quit thinking you're stilll a part of them ... reality check? you're not!

accept this..no matter what happens...no matter what you do...no matter

what you say....i'm gone and i'm never coming back stupid retard!

and hey you know what...can't agree with you more...you're right i'm

crazy...crazy for even spending a part of my crazy life with you! you're

useless! If it were not for....i'd wished you just died after i was through

with you! move on for godsakes! ...and please... don't think i still care for

you...cus i don't...not the least bit! oh no... i just like humilliating you with

words cus you desrve it. p#tang %na mo! and I mean it! don't look for

hidden meanings...they're just plain "p#tang %na mo!" choke on that!

f#&kerrr! you're simply disgusting! eugh!http://www.freesmileys.org/emo/ad/yuk.gif

sa pulis ka magsumbong! gago!http://www.moodsmilies.com/smilies/goofy/nananananana.gif

Edited June 28, 2007 by iwalkalone

[Barenaked-NoMre]

The One,

 

CUM to me soon ...

 

I needed you ... YESTERDAY!

 

 

A

[chiquezee]

Tu me manques terriblement.

[hari ng sablay]

....I do'nt really know what changed my feelings for you...

was it the continuos ignoring you threw at me

for whatever I said or decided... do'esnt matter to you...your a maverick..

 

so you reaped what you sowed...for my feelings have gone.....ppppffft....

only indifference... for this person who do'nt care....

I endured suffering....suffering till now

even if I said ...dont have to do anything with you....still you drag me on....

 

I have loved you and have served you...but what ???????????

until this time....you have never stopped hurting me....

set me free God....I can't do it ...only you can.....Plsssssssssss.

[Tank Girl]

It really just mystifying, the other night ,you and me,all the more spent some quality time together, we just couldnt bare not to see each other a little time. You were embracing me and your face is close to my mine and we snuggled so close that we couldnt get enough of eachother. It was worth the wait, i cant wait till we kiss again,passionate as it is, just like heaven.

[iwalkalone]

If suddenly i stopped bothering you...just...forget about me...move on and

don't look back...

i should let you go...you don't deserve all these...

you don't have any need for all these...

you're better off without me...i knew that all along...I'm sorry...

i shouldn't have...i knew it would come to this...

don't it make you wonder how of all the men i knew...there was was only

three of you? only three... still i failed...

i guess i'll never learn. i guess i was meant to walk alone. Truly sorry.

SORRY FOR MYSELF MORE. Howell....

[angel_by_day]

it seems that you were sent to me at the right moment...just when i had nothing much to offer, and nothing much to show....

[cheeselogger]

to you who breaks my heart every time but still makes me smile,

 

thanks for your time. it's been so long since I got to talk with you. though I still have so many questions, I think it would be best for me if they were left unanswered. I would love to talk to you again soon but I'm not sure if that would be wise. I guess it depends on you now, as it what has always been...

 

still yours,

J

[willow_boy]

When did common sense ever prevail over lovers?

When will we ever know that it never will?

[chiquezee]

Another leaf blown away by the breeze. Are you on your way? Soon is almost here...

I really need you right now.

 

The night whispered a secret in my ear, but I was asleep.

Won't you tell me what it is? Only you will know.

 

I'm having a tough time.

Waiting for you, still.

I actually began looking for you, for you might have lost your way.

 

I don't deserve this, you know...

Where are you?

 

I'm exhausted, Beloved... I am.

[destron]

I have a gift

Of seeing a path rightful to take

I already saw you as a definite path

I just ignored it

Silly me

From now I'd stop playing with time

And start the journey

I hope I'm right

I know I'm right

[chiquezee]

How do I tell you this? Maybe I won't... And this will rot in here, but never delivered to you.

 

Love Actually. Afternoon in your pad during Chinese New Year... that favorite scene of mine went through my mind just now -- the part where the guy holds the placards by the door... the placards said "For now let me say, without hope or agenda, .... to me you are perfect, and my wasted heart will love you......"

 

And then I remember when out of the blue, months ago, I received an sms from you that said "You're perfect, you know that?"

 

There was also that part in the film that said that at Christmastime, you should be with the one you love. I remember you telling me, during that same time, you should be with me this Christmas (2007).

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I will miss you. I will be there... perhaps on Christmas.

 

 

 

But God knows, right now, I'm gonna go crazy, not knowing where I really am.

I am so hollow. Indescribably hollow.

I don't know how to tell you the things I want to say.

I don't know what to think, or what to do, to make sure I stay intact.

I'm afraid I just might fall apart.

 

Enough. Enough now.

Edited July 1, 2007 by chiquezee