The Mail Box

[sheila70]

Hey!!! In one week's time and it'll be our one-year anniversary. Man!!! How time flies. Met you by accident and everything's been a whirlwind of events that truly changed the way I look at life. We were together, good times, bad times but that's just how life works and I'm truly grateful for all the wonderful things I've learned from you

 

I'll be embarking on a new phase in my life, you were very much part of it. Without you, I wouldn't have what I have now. But ...

 

It's not you, it's me

 

I know, I'll get cold turkey but I've got to start somewhere or this will k*ll me

 

THANK YOU!!! :*

 

But I love myself more

[gurltalker]

dear (boyfriend),

 

i want to call it quits. but i cant. just cant. i dont want to hurt your feelings but...i dont love you anymore.

 

im so sorry...

 

from: depressed

 

------------------

[LostCommand]

I was not allowed to be sweet. I guess, it was not required in this case.

I have been roughly used before.

 

I will not mount defense; distance and duties prevent. My actions, for good or for bad, speak above hearsay, for learned minds. I keep my silence.

 

So I leave, not fearing the dark nor the rain. They are old comrades now. I vanish, but not fully, for you have had my quiet dreams and my silent tears. I beg your forgetfulness, here at the last.

 

This night is not forever, my lady.

 

-CT

Edited February 27, 2004 by LostCommand

[LostCommand]

Uncle Leon

 

 

We called him, simply, Uncle Junior. Distantly related to my grandad, they had been working together for nearly 50 years.

 

While I spent my childhood summers in a huge old house overlooking the national road, he stayed in a much humbler abode, amongst the many simple houses we overlooked from our balcony. Fate made him a very poor relation. He took his lot in stride.

 

He worked for my Lolo for many many years, as the right hand man and the intermediary to the other workers. He drew no extra allowance, just the meager pay of a farmhand, despite his distant relationship. He never asked for more.

 

I spent so many youthful summers at his house, playing with his barefoot kids. I never realized till I was much older that he would lay out the best food he could scrounge in his little plot if he knew I was coming over to visit, even if next day his own little family would end up eating poorly!. How I shudder whenever I remember making small complaints on the tuyo he would serve. The lash of that inner embarrasment still stings now, twenty years later, and shall sting forever.

 

Only a quirk of fate, many generations ago, prevented me from sharing his lot. The sun-burned dark brown of his skin contrasted so sharply with the permanent red flush of my face, in the same way my world of tinted cars and plane tickets contrasted so much with the many sun-hot kilometers he had to walk every day in his duties for us, saving jeep fare money to give to his kids.

 

I smell native tobacco, and I remember him. I taste simple fried rice eaten with no ulam, just coffee, and I recall him.

 

When I began take my place in the hierarchy, I tried to reward him in some way. But it was too late. A lifetime of cheap cigarettes, poor diet, and repeated bouts of tropical fevers took their toll. A year after my own grandad passed away, he joined him. I told his grieving family that those two were now "promoted to HQ" by the Big General, having each served their duty in these harsh mortal realms. With a broken whisper, I told them that Uncle Junior and Lolo were quietly chatting away in some cool spot under the trees in the heavenly fields, all cares forgotten, as they always did during their younger years. Probably wondering what all the ruckus is... through their tears, I drew their smiles for you, Uncle.

 

He died at the time of abundant harvest. He died when the ricefields were golden, the wind sighing cool, the bountiful crops bursting the bodegas, the skies crystal horizon to horizon.

 

We buried him in the hazy blue hillsides under the warm sun, not far from my own great-grandad's grave. His family will always have a special connection to me, and the town knows it.

 

Uncle, remember when you taught me how to dig square drainage ditches for the ricefields? You also taught me then never to impose burdens on another, that I could not have carried if in his shoes. Only then can that quiet growl of command be genuine.

 

Remember when you cooked for me your last chicken when I was a wide-eyed, brown-haired, inquisitive child? You also taught me then to be prepared to eat and live the very next moment as poorly as the least of my men. Only then will they follow me to the worst places.

 

And above all I remember you unknowingly teaching me that on such strong and loyal backs as yours, did my family build its first fortunes. You pulled your weight and ours too. You taught me to respect the hardworking and the faithful. They are the ones who matter.

 

I now reserve my worst sneers to the degenerate wealthy and the trying hard copycat "burgis". I have lived with the simple ones and now pretend nothing. I take seriously only those who can pull their own weight, if a quirk of fate should decree it suddenly. Those who can not pull even their weight, do not matter to me.

 

I am so sorry Uncle, I was not able to pay you back enough for your many lessons, and for your love. I left one of our rare pictures together inside your coffin, by the way. Show it to my Lolo, OK? Tell him I have kept doing what is expected of me, and I have stayed simple.

 

I hope that I shall also meet my end during a season of abundant harvest, when all the hard work and long waiting yields bountiful fruit to those who laboured in its nurturing.

 

Your pamangkin,

 

---Felix Villaflor IV

[princess-sophia]

Dear You,

 

It doesn't matter if I face the uncertainties of life, as long as we together

I don't want to be away from you, not even a single moment.

I love you too much already that I don't know how to live my life without you by my side.

 

After so many relationships. it's only in you that I felt this kind of feeling... a feeling of being together until the last days of our lives

 

:heart:

[sweetpsyche]

this letter u sent is deeply felt.

 

I'm a little bit more

In love with you

Each morning

When I wake up.

 

I'm a little bit more

In love with you

Every time

You say my

Name.

 

I'm a little bit more

In love with you

Every time

You walk into the

Room…

 

I'm a little bit more

In love with you

every day and every year.

 

I wish you well and i hope that i can be a part

of 21 more years of your life to make you

feel as special as you have made me feel. I love you.

 

this is my response..

 

dear one..

if situation permits i'm willing to spend more than 21 years of my life with you.

if situation permits... cause as of now.. i think... it doesnt

i know u understand. sorry i dont have enough courage.

im a coward!

 

sincerely me.

Edited February 28, 2004 by sweetpsyche

[eytch]

Life is so unpredictable. Changes always comes along... In big ways and small steps, sometimes giving us a little nudge and other times turning the whole world upside down. So many changes, some subtle and almost unnoticeable, some drastic and difficult to dealth with.

But through all lifes changing and rearranging, Im so gald that there is one wonderfull thing that will never change ...

In the passing of life's moments, I know that yesterday is already gone and that tommorow will soon be here.

The one thing that will take me in the days that lie ahead... is the one thing that has seen me through so many times in the past. It is something that will never change.

You are such a steady, strong and beautifull part of my life. You never cease to amaze me with the constancy of your giving, the unselfishness of your heart, and the reassurance of your smile.

And i thought it would be nice to let you know that you have touched my very soul... and that my special feelings for you are goin to last forever and ever. H

Edited February 28, 2004 by eytch

[eytch]

Kay bilis ng panahon, d ko napansin halos mag dadalawang taon na pala.

Napapangiti ako pag naalala ko ang mga bagay na pinagsaluhan natin.

 

Nung minsan wala tayong pambili ng yosi, at naghalungkat tayo sa lahat ng sulok ng bahay para makakita ng barya. Nakakatuwa dba isang istik ng sigarilyo masaya na tyong dalawa.

 

Nung huling kaarawan ko, pag uwi ko ng bahay may nakahain na Pizza, nagtaka ko san galing, sabi mo pasensya na yan lang nakayanan ko. Kinabukasan pumunta yung kaibigan mo at hinahanap ka, nalaman ko inutang mo lang pala yung pambili ng hapunan na yon.

 

Madalas pag ginagabi ka , iniintay ko ang pag uwi mo, kaya lang nakakatulog ako, ewan ko ba kung bakit, d ko alam kun panaginip pero nararamdaman ko papalapit ka na at nadidinig ko ang mga yapak mo, tapos maya maya kumakatok ka na, at nagbubukas na ako ng pinto. Sabi ko siguro iisa na tibok ng puso natin kaya may ganoong koneksyon.

 

Pag nangangarap ako, nangangarap ka rin hinde tayo masaya pag lumilipas ang araw natin na hinde natin napagsasaluhan kung anong kwento o bagong pangayayari ang meron sayo o sa kin.

 

Sa gabi ang sarap ng palaging kapiling ka, para bang lumulutang ako sa langit o ibon na lumilipad kapag nagkakaniig tayo. Ang mga ungol ay nagiging musika sa ating pandinig. Ang hangin ay sumasabay sa indayog ng ating mga katawan. Haaaay sabi nga nila ang sarap ng feeling... nakakatuwa db

 

Ewan ko ba bat ganito, iniisip ko na lang may mabuting dahilan ang pagkakahiwalay natin. Tiwala ako sa Maykapal mayroon syang mahusay na rason sa bawat pangyayari . Sabi nga nila ganun talaga eh, may mawawala pero may darating pa din... pag asa yun daw ang dapat magkaroon ako

at manatili sa isip at puso after all nga naman, masarap pa rin mabuhay sa mundo.

 

Isang bagay lang ang gusto kong sabihin sayo... Ngayon tapos na ang palabas sana wag mong kalimutan ang mga nagsiganap. Salamat sa lahat. H

Edited February 28, 2004 by eytch

[princess-sophia]

A Letter To My Everything

 

There is no one else in the world that makes me feel like you do.

Of this I assure you, my life, my love, my everything.

 

I want to touch you constantly,

to reassure myself that I am really there with such a wonderful man.

 

I want to be a help to you,

to reassure myself that I am finally important to someone.

 

I want to kiss those tender lips,

to reassure myself that those sweet words you speak to me are real.

 

I want to be a source of happiness for you,

to reassure myself that I deserve the happiness you give me every day.

 

I want to feel the warmth of your body,

to reassure myself that the coldness that I once felt will never be there again.

 

I want to look at your handsome face,

to reassure myself that when I close my eyes, you’ll still be there with me.

 

I want to laugh and talk with you,

to reassure myself that the joy and truthfulness is everlasting.

 

I want to feel your strong arms around me,

to reassure myself that I am safe from the world.

 

I want to sleep with you,

to reassure myself that the bad dreams will never carry me away.

 

I want to make plans for the future with you,

to reassure myself that I’ll share my life with the most important person in the whole world to me.

 

I want to always have you know, without a doubt, that you are my everything.

Of this I assure you, my life, my love, my everything.

 

[sweetpsyche]

I'm Sorry

 

I am so sorry for everything wrong I say.

I know its a mistake after I do it.

I never meant it to come out that way.

Wait, this is something I must admit.

 

I said I was sorry but it wasn't enough.

I tried my best to explain.

I said it out of anger, not out of love.

Can't we just start all over again?

 

I don't know how to tell you what I feel.

I can't imagine what I would do with out you.

You keep me sane and you keep me real.

You are that light that keeps me true.

 

I understand if you want to ignore me.

I never meant to hurt you in anyway.

I mean it when I say I'm sorry.

Please forgive me for the wrong things I say.

 

by Trinity Roberts

Used with Permission

[sweetpsyche]

Forgiveness

 

To forgive

Is not to forget.

 

To forgive

Is really to remember

That nobody is perfect

That each of us stumbles

When we want so much to stay upright

That each of us says things

We wish we had never said

That we can all forget that love

Is more important than being right.

 

To forgive is really to remember

That we are so much more

Than our mistakes

That we are often more kind and caring

That accepting another's flaws

Can help us accept our own.

 

To forgive is to remember

That the odds are pretty good that

We might soon need to be forgiven ourselves.

That life sometimes gives us more

Than we can handle gracefully.

 

To forgive is to remember

That we have room in our hearts to

Begin again

 

And again,

And again.

And again.

 

 

Author Unknown

 

The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong. - Mahatma Ghandi

[Z]

Dear Tito,

 

Thank you for the offer and the dismal disheartening support over the weekend. Though I am aware of your situation and needs, it saddens me when temporal matters cloud one's judgement more so for one I considered to be spiritual. Perhaps you were just religious. Regardless and given the blood ties, I do no and can not see myself working with you on this or any endeavour on a daily basis. The going concern is exciting and challenging enough. However, the inability to rein in emotions when logic and cool heads are required is a disaster lying in wait. Not with my life. Not with my dream. Especially when I know and am clear on what needs to be done. I'll look after you as much as I can but not at my expense - support can only benefit if it’s readily accepted.

 

Sincerely,

 

E

Edited March 3, 2004 by Z

[jazzmine777]

Dear___________,

 

Im really confused and scared right now, i dont know what decision should i make and stand for, to accept you and love you again, or let you go for good??

 

Im scared with many "what if's"..what if we get back together, and find out its not meant to be?? what if you dont really love me, instead youre just using me for your own benefit? what if i let you go, and later found out, i cant live my life without you? that i thought i can..what if realized after letting you go, youre the only one for me..? what if one day, i bumped on you, and youre with your wife and kids, that im gonna regret letting you go??

 

I dont know what the future holds for both of us, but i want you to know that i love you..and youre one of the best things that happened in my life.

[Mayella]

dear ***,

 

last night was really confusing. but i'm glad we took the time to talk about it and i'm pleased with the decision that we've come up with. thank you.

 

love,

L

[Alex_Corvis]

My favorite mistake

 

To assume something out of things is not right

To give meaning to instances that you think is nice

At the end of the tunnel you won’t see the light

Things that you think is good will not be alright

 

Before you came in my life I was free and happy

When you came it became better and complete

Now that you’re walking away I seem so obsolete

I can’t seem to let go and accept defeat

 

The times we spent together were the happiest

I forget my problems in life coz you were simply the best

I’ve only known you for some time but you were the difference

That I’ve been looking to give my life some essence

 

At first everything seems alright and fine

I thought I was yours and that you were mine

Then you just started to fade away

You made me cry and crippled me in a way

 

Although we had no commitment we had promises to each other

For this, I thought we ought to be together

Now the promises are all broken

I thought they were forever but I was mistaken

 

Now that you’ve gone I don’t know what to do

It just can’t be the same without you

Now I have legs that can’t stand and a heart that is broken

A mind so confused and memories that cannot be forgotten

 

Whenever I receive a message or my phone rings

I wish it’s you, just imagine the joy it brings

Only to find out it isn’t you

I’m still not taken out of my blue

 

I don’t regret anything that has happened

Coz I felt the warmth I didn’t have in a long time

Being with you seems like heaven

I was just unlucky, to me you were not given

 

 

Behind the laughter you see are tears of dismay

Behind the happiness lies the sorrows I feel

Behind my healthy body are wounds that won’t heal

Inside my aching heart, there you’ll always stay

 

I will always love you no matter what

When you think you have nothing, remember it’s me you’ve got

You’ve changed my life in a big way

That is why my dear, I will always be just a phone call away

 

 

Right now I’m a man without direction

Blinded by what I thought was your love

Asking myself this one question

What went wrong to the love I thought we have

 

I’ve won some battles but ultimately lost the war

Right now I’m all alone in my room

Life can’t seem to give me a break

But you will always be, my favorite mistake..

 

I hope and pray someday we’d be together

When that day comes I’ll make sure it’s forever

Waiting in vain is the risk I’m willing to take

Coz I don’t want you to remain, as my favorite mistake..

[Zerreit]

Dearest Grandma Nena,

 

On Sunday it's going to be the 40th day since you've passed away.

 

I tried very hard not to cry during the wake and during the funeral. I know being the eldest of all the grandchildren, everyone would be expecting me to be strong, to help out, to watch over Grandpa. I tried very hard. I really did.

 

Sometimes I wanted to weep when I am alone, but then I'd feel your presence next to me. It's like you'd comfort me whenever I feel like my strength is fading. I appreciate that.

 

It was very nice to see the entire family whole again. I was looking at you inside your coffin and you were smiling. I am glad that even if it was such a sad event that everyone came together, you still found it in you to smile.

 

I hold true to my promise to Mom and Dad, and to everybody. I will watch over grandpa and take care of him.

 

I love you and we all miss you. You're always in my thoughts and definitely always in my heart.

 

Love your granddaughter,

 

L

[Wyld]

J -

 

you are probably the only one who can wound me this deeply and this quickly. its funny how you managed to unhinge me with just a simple phone call. i thought i was okay... i had deluded myself into thinking all was well.

 

but a two minute call...not even fifty pesos on your next cellfone bill...and i am up til 2 in the morning, thoughts a churning in my head, heart beating so fast that i have to breathe into a bag just to stay sane.

 

thanks. maybe i needed the reality check. maybe i needed to know that... im still in limbo. floating. unmoored.

 

i need to get my life back from you.

 

the question is when.

 

- K

Edited March 3, 2004 by WyldChik

[irshes]

I still think about you.

I shouldn't. But I do.

I miss you.

[Wyld]

Dear Mommy,

 

I was always a Daddy's Girl. You were always the Mommy who punished me whenever I was a bad little girl -- and that was often.

 

But when Daddy died, and I went into my rebel phase, you were there. When the dust settled, and I became a normal human being, you were still there....

 

In time, as I grew older, I cherished the way our relationship changed. From being mom and daughter to ... housemates and friends. Yes we would have our rows... and our arguments but... you were one of the constants in my life.

 

It was not easy for me when you passed away. It was hell coming home to an empty house... at times it still is. But I knew you would have wanted me to be strong and move on. I will never forget your last words to me -- asking me to get you out of ICU because you were worried about the cost... How typically Mommy. That last hug. That last touch.

 

And now, im writing to tell you that.. im finally setting out to do what I have always wanted to do. What I know you always have wanted me to do... Im going to try and make a go of it outside the Philippines. I know it will not be easy. But I also know i owe it to me and the memory of you to try.

 

Most of all, I know you will be guiding me and cheering me on... As you always have. As you always will.

 

I love you Mommy -- those were words that were never really easy for us to say to each other -- we had always let our actions speak our feelings... But I do love you Mommy, always will.

 

I know im not a Mommy's girl, but what I am now, what I will be tomorrow is partly because of you.

 

Thank you Mommy.

 

I will do you proud.

 

-K

[de hunter]

Dear someone,

 

Ang lalaking ito ay minahal ka ng tapat, ipinagmalaki at tinanggap kahit ano o sino ka man. Lagi siyang nasa tabi mo sa mga sandaling ikaw ay nalulumbay at lumuluha, Laging handa ang kanyang dibdib at balikat upang iyong himlayan. Sa oras ng iyong kagipitan at pangangailangan siya ay hindi nagpapabaya.

 

Sabi mo ay mahal na mahal mo at ayaw mong siyang mawala sa buhay mo.

 

Pero bakit ganoon? pag kausap mo ang ibang tao siya ang masama, may kasalanan at siya ang nang aaway. Wala kang tale sa leeg na tulad ng isang aso kagaya ng sabi ng iyong kausap. SELOS? di siya nag seselos o nag babantay, nais lamang niyang ituwid ang mali mong gawi at baluktot mong katwiran na di kayang ituwid ng iyong magulang at kapatid.

 

Sana di ka na niya binalikan iyon ang sabi mo.. kundi lang ano?... iniwan mo na siya. Bakit ka umiiyak kapag di siya tumatawag sa iyo sa phone. Mag iiwan ka ng message na please tawagan mo naman ako ..miss na miss na kita. Ganoon ba ang mang iiwan? Sinabi mong marami ang may gusto sa iyo, ayaw mo lang tanggapin dahil mahal mo siya. Pinayagan ka niya na humanap ng iba pero ayaw mo at sabi mo pa siya lang ang lalaki sa buhay mo. Pero taliwas yun sa mga sinabi mo sa bawat iyong makausap, Ikaw ang hinahabol at binabalikan, totoo ba yon?

 

Nasira ang magandang reputasyon ng taong ito ng dahil sa iyo. Pinagbintangan, sinisi, napasama ng dahil sa mga sinabi mo tungkol sa kanya. Baka naman napadala ka sa mga matatamis na salita ng iyong kausap at kanilang berdeng pangungusap. O talagang ganyan ka na di mababago.

 

Walang mahalaga sa iyo kundi ang iyong sarili, mapabuti ka lang ay gagawin mo ang mga bagay kahit na ikasasama ng mga taong nakagawa ng kabutihan sa iyo.

Wag mong sabihing di ito totoo... may kasabihang kung ano ang buka ng bibig iyon ang laman ng dibdib.

 

Sana, sa pamamagitan nito mabawasan ng kahit kaunti ang hapding kanyang nadarama ngayun.

 

Abang siya lamang

Edited March 5, 2004 by de hunter

[archer_dude]

Man I better start taking care of myself or else I'm gonna die young.

[sweetpsyche]

hey ALEX!

 

ur poem is great

 

sweetp.

[Mayella]

dear ***,

 

i want out already. can't take this anymore. i'm sorry i led you to believe that we still had a good thing going. but i have been contemplating the past few days and i realize that i don't want to settle anymore for just this.

 

L

Edited March 6, 2004 by mayella76

[Z]

Love Yearning

 

I dream about you lady

transcending both space and time

I've always yearned to have you with me

I have fumbled in my search

in your eyes will it be such a crime?

 

To have you in my arms

your heart so close to mine

bound in this, our eternity

What walls must I breach?

Alone under the full moon till the right chime

 

Till then my dear baby

Sweet nothings twinge to be free

Melodies in my head as I be fully mine

Sand in my hand, I walk the beach

This love I've claimed, cherished fine wine

 

I dream of that day lady

Two hearts one beat, together side by side

Sweet kiss of your lips, soulful embrace

I soon wake from this sweet reverie

Face to face, our forever, our time

 

06-03-2004

Edited March 6, 2004 by Z

[Alex_Corvis]

Hey SweetP,

 

Thx for appreciatin'

 

alex