The Mail Box

[Mayella]

to you...

 

so far, so good. i like what i see. i hope you won't fail me.

 

L

[ziggyzag]

A,

 

i'm expecting to receive a text/call from you anytime soon.. actually since last weekend pa..

 

damn!! i can't stand feeling helpless like this..

 

Z

[kundera]

n,

 

every note that i sing is for you...

 

- m

[wjc-934]

pare,

 

living without you is like eating sand...

[Wyld]

friend of my :heart:

 

i dont know if you will get to read this.

but i hope you do.

im sorry does not begin to describe

what i want to tell you.

 

i just hope that the friendship we have (i refuse to say had)

will make you reconsider.

 

i shall miss you. heck, i already miss you.

 

and inspite of the seeming inadequacy of these words...

i say them yet again...

 

i am sorry.

 

-k

[sweetpsyche]

pare.

 

i had a great time with u... hope u did too..

 

deym... wish we can do it again hehehe..

 

i'll see u soon.. i hope...

 

sana nga... oo na...

 

ur mare

[Macy]

M,

 

You keep asking why I love you..... I don't have a reason.... I just do....

 

M

[boy_kokok]

ks,

 

see u soon.... ssssoooo soon!

 

bk

[icewulf]

fire,

 

u always ask me why and it hurts you that i never had an explanation why...well here's my answer:

 

"i do because i do and i do because of you."

 

tc always.

 

-ice

[boy_kokok]

mama macy,

 

 

happy birthday!!! painom ka naman!

 

 

vty,

 

boy_kokok

Edited June 29, 2004 by boy_kokok

[boy_kokok]

i know we're not meant to be...

[chewie]

you,

 

why? what happened? just would like to know...

[a_ngel]

On my own,

I'll go my way,

find tomorrow

or a brand new day

 

It would have been better

to have you by my side

But then

you just cant have it all

 

and so I bid adieu,

 

 

 

confused and dazed I'll go,

I'll try to figure out this feeling for you

if it is indeed love

or just a nasty infatuation

[Guest BB]

The last time I wept was when I embraced your mother after looking into your coffin. 7 years ago today, the last day of your wake.

 

I even wore the Armani trench coat we argued over. There was a light rain then just like today and I remember that during that whole week, no one saw my tears. I was the pillar of strength for a lot of our friends who looked to me for I don’t know what. Somehow I still remember it all being a haze, like I wasn’t really there and just observing things from some distant place. I guess it was my way of coping – everything just pretty much shut down and I was just numb. Even when I delivered that stupid eulogy about you and me scoping chicks out in New York, I was pretty much detached from the whole scene. I later found out that it was my little shpiel that brought the tears rolling. I wonder why? Maybe it was because it was so ridiculously light that it reflected how you, me, and the rest of the crew acted all the time throughout high school, college, and after – and how all that just ended?

 

Beats me.

 

I spoke to your mom today and as always it was tough. We talked about your brother’s children, your relatives in politics, the guys, their families, your cousin, B and me, and of course you. I’m glad she’s got grandkids now and they’re absolutely the apples of her eyes – they make it easier for her especially on days like this.

 

Your mom thinks you and me would be the last single dudes among the guys if you were still alive. I don’t think so. I think you’d have settled down with a nice girl (with an excellent pedigree of course!) and would be just as successful and respectable as the rest of our crew (except me of course, as you can probably see, I’m still as irresponsible as ever).

 

The guys miss you even though they’re busy as hell. I’m sure you know that.

 

Your mom, bud, it goes without saying. I’m sure she misses you the most.

 

I’m usually ok except on days like this, your birthday, holidays… Did I ever tell you that I always thought you could beat it? It was always at the back of my mind that you’d check out but I never could fully accept that any of us could actually be felled so early in the game. Even up to now, I still have this childish notion that you’re just abroad studying or something.

 

One thing though is that I’ve actually had a more solid grasp on mortality. I somehow foolishly try to live for both of us so that just like before, you guys could live vicariously through me. I take more chances and I can pretty much say that cashing in my chips doesn’t scare me at all. No matter how many days I have left, it’s still a helluva lot more than you did and for that alone, I am thankful. Whatever crap or bullshit these days dish out, doesn’t get me down for long because at least I got to live through it. Yep, I think I’ve actually grown up a bit since you left but I still have a ways off to go. I know you got my back, bud. I’ll try to handle things from over here and take care of stuff, especially your mom.

 

I just hope you save some chicks for me when I get there. Oh and if you can put in a good word for me with the Big Guy? I’ve kinda been going crazy the past few years – I didn’t mean all of it and nobody really got hurt.

 

Broke my f**king heart that day I got the call.

 

I know you’re doing well but I still wish we could have had a few more drinks and a lot more laughs.

 

I'll have a few for both of us tonight. Not to mourn your loss but to celebrate your memory.

 

I miss you, bud.

 

Party on.

[ziggyzag]

A,

 

it's june 30 already..

 

Z

[ziggyzag]

to you,

 

u had me thinkin'.. in fairness..

 

Z

[tio_pot]

Hay! lapit na kapistahan ni tio_pot... sana magparamdam ka naman!

[wjc-934]

J,

 

 

 

i know that loving u is wrong....

 

 

Kit

[Victor Davion]

I've been able to keep you out of my thoughts for a while now. I hope I can fully supress you, so that we can just go back to being friends.

[ziggyzag]

A,

 

maybe i'm not really suppose to wait for you..

 

you could have told me before u left, at least..

 

Z

Edited July 1, 2004 by ziggyzag

[tio_pot]

G, sana sumama ka bukas. I wanted to spend the first moments of my special day with you

 

pot

[Leslie Garcia]

Hon,

 

 

Im so mad at you .... if you only knew how i feel ... if you'll say goodbye say it now ... i've been alone all my life ... i thought you'll make a difference but it's still the same .... i hurt ... i cried .... small things that will make my day but you seem to forgot .... i am nothing to you ... that's how i feel ... i wanted to gamble on you but as i saw things ... i wanna stop and turn around ... i think i'll manage if you leave ... as always i'll stand up and move on ....

 

just me,

 

M

[gen_g]

have to sign off now..................have to move on.............take care u all!

[Shiro]

i am at a very interesting juncture...

 

i am feeling things i never thought i would feel again, taking pleasure in the simplest moments... feeling happy... something whic i thought i would never feel again...

 

seeing your face, your smile, your cute dimples, the sparkle in your beautiful brown eyes... hearing your voice... your laugh...

 

i am intoxicated by everything that is you...

 

i still remember the feel of your arm the other day when i gently held it as i convinced you to come ride with me to the MRT... and the feel of your hand as you left the car.

 

i am sitting at my computer right now, writing this... a grinning idiot.

 

J, i am... smitten.

[Guest ginny]

Till now I couldn't understand how could I care so much for somebody who only cares about himself. I don't know why I have to put up with so much stress and pressure just to be your friend.

 

After last night... I don't know how or what to feel anymore. Your hurting words.. your incapacity of returning the love I have been unconditionally giving you... everything.

 

So many questions running through my mind now. I wish I had all the answers so I could heal once more.

 

I only wish you happiness... goodbye.