Falling For A Therapist - Merged Thread

[Edmund Dantes]

tama si sir Sephirot pag naiinlove na yung guy nawawala na rin yung libog, napapalitan na eto ng respeto at hiya don sa girl. tapos unti unti na ding tumitigil yung guy sa pag papagawa sa kanya yung tipong massage na lang and wala ng "extra" hanggang sa totally hindi na talaga nagpapagawa, kung pupunta man yung guy sa pinagtrarabahuhan ng therapist dalaw na lang. lahat naman tayo gusto natin sila tumigil sa ganyang line of work. don naman ako agree kay sir edmund kanina sa post nya.

 

Then do everything in your power to get out of that business and start a new life. With that new life start a healthier relationship ng walang sabit o problema. Kung kaya tanggapin lalake nakaraan mo, then good luck. Let yesterday be the past.

 

Anybody can fall in love, but it takes certain maturity and preparedness to enter a serious relationship. Like I will always say, hindi pinapasok ang isang relasyon dahil lang masaya ka. Only teenagers do that.

[CardingTigas]

 

Dude, kahit dalagitang 16 anyos na gusto na makipag-tanan yan din ang sasabihin. Its not really your age I am attacking here. But based on how you present your case, I can sense that you are still building emotional maturity. Kasi kung susumahin, lahat ng mga sinasabi mong ito, sinasabi mo dahil masaya ka pa. Andyan pa ang bliss. Lahat para sayo maganda at tama dahil masayang masaya ka. Naiintindihan ko naman yan. Lahat ng taong in love ganyan pakiramdam. Kaya nga may iba dyan, kahit harapharapan ng niloloko, tinatangap lang. Kasi lahat kaya mo tanggapin basta nasa infatuation phase ka pa.

 

Dude hindi komo nagaaway kayo minsan ay ibig sabihin wala na kayo sa infatuation phase. Halata naman na andyan pa yung bliss and maganda pakinggan ang mga sinasabi mo, pero at some point you need to address certain cracks and slips that you conveniently ignore, rationalize, and justify dahil lang masaya ka.

 

Excerpt from one guy here in MTC that I truly agree with. Pag masaya ka, lahat nagiging tama, pero hindi komo nakakapasaya sayo isang bagay tama na ito.

 

Don't you get it? Its not the situation that you are in right now. Its about how you decide to make right for both of you. If you keep ignoring this simply because you are happy, then you are not being emotionally mature. Sabi mo gusto mo makaiwas chismis sa mga katrabaho nya. This is one minor slip I think you are conveniently ignoring. Because if for some reason you need to keep a relationship on the down low, then maybe..... Huwag na nga. Basta alam mo na dapat yun

 

I've seen her worst, we had an exchange of harsh words nung minsan nag away kame again hindi work related, pre alam ko un sinasabe mo, hindi nako nakakaramdam ng kilig d2 sa taong sinasabe ko, oo 29 lang ako, pero madame din ako naging ka relasyon outside this industry and believe me, they're worst than these ladies na nasa ganitong industry. mas ginago at niloko pa nga ako ng mga "ordinary women" na sinasabe mo. yan ang major difference ng mga nakilala ko personally d2 sa industry na to, they know that I know kung anu pwede nila gawin sa unsuspecting guys na lumiligaw sa kanila. kaya in a way na mitigate ko na un risk ng maperhan lang ako ng mga tulad ng sinasabe mo. nagkakaron lang naman ng biktima pag may nag papa biktima, medyo lumalayo na usapin, what I'm trying to say is that, hindi nya gagawin sakin un dahil mas matimbang un pinag samahan namin kesa sa mga iniisip ng ibang tao =)

[pedroz]

 

Note: hindi ako nag hhate basta basta =)

 

wala naman kinalaman un edad sa pagiging emotionally mature ng isang tao. eh sa ganun ko sya nakilala at naging magkaibigan, sabe ko nga dba, hindi ko sya therapist kahit nuong top thera pa sya. nagkapalagayan kame ng loob, we comfort each other during sa mga times na down kame..i don't think may mali sa situation namin. aminin ko hindi ako ganun kayaman para alisin sya sa ganun line of work and hindi dapat manggaling sakin un, kelangan sya mismo sa sarili nya ang mag alis sa sarili nya, kasi kahit anung gawin ko pag alis sa kanya sa ganun klaseng trabaho eh kung un mismong may katawan ang may ayaw for some reason na beyond our control eh useless din.

 

oo madalas kame nagtatalo lately pero hindi dahil sa work nya, but because of other personal things kaya sa tingin ko, un sinasabe mo na "kilig stage" ay nalampasan na namin, pero hindi porke wala na un kilig eh wala na kame pake sa isa't isa.

 

I think what really keeps us together is our open communication, walang lihiman and maayos at mahinahon na pag uusap.

 

Again, what do we have may not be perfect but its worth it =)

 

Wow. Salute to you sir. I'm kinda of on same boat. I call it open relationship.

 

@ Sir Edmund I think we should respect other peoples opinion. I read your post and sa totoo lang kung matatanggap mo sila for what they do... Again hindi lahat ng tao pare pareho.

[BB-8]

 

I've seen her worst, we had an exchange of harsh words nung minsan nag away kame again hindi work related, pre alam ko un sinasabe mo, hindi nako nakakaramdam ng kilig d2 sa taong sinasabe ko, oo 29 lang ako, pero madame din ako naging ka relasyon outside this industry and believe me, they're worst than these ladies na nasa ganitong industry. mas ginago at niloko pa nga ako ng mga "ordinary women" na sinasabe mo. yan ang major difference ng mga nakilala ko personally d2 sa industry na to, they know that I know kung anu pwede nila gawin sa unsuspecting guys na lumiligaw sa kanila. kaya in a way na mitigate ko na un risk ng maperhan lang ako ng mga tulad ng sinasabe mo. nagkakaron lang naman ng biktima pag may nag papa biktima, medyo lumalayo na usapin, what I'm trying to say is that, hindi nya gagawin sakin un dahil mas matimbang un pinag samahan namin kesa sa mga iniisip ng ibang tao =)

women who are in these industry are usually undergraduate, doesnt have any skill set that are employable outside the spakol. they need money the easy way and most of them have different upbringing than their guest. in other words from different worlds. i dont know what kind of women you got mixed up in the outside world of spa but these women are from another dimension for me. having to invest time and emotions is not a wise thing to do.

[CardingTigas]

women who are in these industry are usually undergraduate, doesnt have any skill set that are employable outside the spakol. they need money the easy way and most of them have different upbringing than their guest. in other words from different worlds. i dont know what kind of women you got mixed up in the outside world of spa but these women are from another dimension for me. having to invest time and emotions is not a wise thing to do.

 

for the record SPA therapist un sinasabe ko at hindi MPA, para lang malinaw

 

un mga naging x girlfriends ko are CPA's na tulad ko, may med rep, may nurse, and one marketing officer, all of them, gagohan lang nangyare, most of them nag 2 time and some are just plain psycho. yun ang hindi ko maintindihan bakit kung sino pa un maayos ang trabaho eh sila pa un kung umasta eh parang walang pinag aralan =)

 

in my opinion, mas nakaka sigurado ako na may limitation sya with her clients, at "trabaho lang" ang ginagawa nya pag nasa loob sya ng cubicle with her client. mas may peace of mind ako pag ganun kesa dun sa mga naging x ko outside the spakol world na hindi ko alam ang ginagawa pag naka talikod ako.

Edited December 5, 2014 by cardingtigas

[CardingTigas]

cardingtigas, if I may, I know we agreed on certain things before but after reading this, in my opinion, you're getting carried away. You're generalizing. Just because you got cuckolded by girls with decent jobs doesn't mean all girls with decent jobs are into cuckolding their husbands or bfs. Then you meet someone from the spa industry whom you became attached to and because of this you, again, generalize that girls in this industry are better than girls with decent jobs. The way I see it, it's your emotions that are dictating this post. I'm just stating an observation and I don't mean to offend you or anything.

 

No worries =) maybe I'm just tired dun sa mga naging x ko =) mali nga ako kung na generalize ko, my bad, mali ako dun sa part na yun, wrong choice of words hehehe, hndi ko din naman sinasabe na I would end up with her 'the current girl' kasi nga ayaw namin ng label sa relationship namin, undefined kung baga...chill lang kame so we would not rush in to things.. Edited December 5, 2014 by cardingtigas

[Edmund Dantes]

 

I've seen her worst, we had an exchange of harsh words nung minsan nag away kame again hindi work related, pre alam ko un sinasabe mo, hindi nako nakakaramdam ng kilig d2 sa taong sinasabe ko, oo 29 lang ako, pero madame din ako naging ka relasyon outside this industry and believe me, they're worst than these ladies na nasa ganitong industry. mas ginago at niloko pa nga ako ng mga "ordinary women" na sinasabe mo. yan ang major difference ng mga nakilala ko personally d2 sa industry na to, they know that I know kung anu pwede nila gawin sa unsuspecting guys na lumiligaw sa kanila. kaya in a way na mitigate ko na un risk ng maperhan lang ako ng mga tulad ng sinasabe mo. nagkakaron lang naman ng biktima pag may nag papa biktima, medyo lumalayo na usapin, what I'm trying to say is that, hindi nya gagawin sakin un dahil mas matimbang un pinag samahan namin kesa sa mga iniisip ng ibang tao =)

 

Oh do not say that. If you are saying something like this, then you still need more lessons on emotional maturity. First of all, do not underestimate how people can grow worst. Like I said, you are still in the infatuation phase. You can keep trying to convince anyone na hindi ka nakakaramdam ng kilig, but the way you approach the issue says it all. Para sakin, the mere fact that you conveniently ignore certain cracks and slips and do your best to rationalize them means you still are. Ganyan talaga ang in love, I understand. But saying you already saw her at her worst is just naive. Kung magasawa nga yan din sasabihin sa umpisa, pero sa huli naghihiwalay din at nababalewala ang maraming taon na pinagsamahan. I know to you maybe I sound too antagonistic or pessimistic even. But hear me out with an open mind dito. Kung medyo shaky yung foundation nyo you will have nothing to bank on when you leave the infatuation phase. Now lemme ask you, does she tell you her plans on how to leave the game? Kelan nya gagawin yun? At bilang isang tao na gusto magmahal unconditionally, don't you think na tama lang hingiin mo naman ito para sa sarili mo? Do you think minamahal mo sarili mo ng tama by making compromises like this? Think about it.

 

 

 

 

Wow. Salute to you sir. I'm kinda of on same boat. I call it open relationship.

 

@ Sir Edmund I think we should respect other peoples opinion. I read your post and sa totoo lang kung matatanggap mo sila for what they do... Again hindi lahat ng tao pare pareho.

 

I have friends who are ex convicts. Former career criminals almost half of their lives. Tindi pa nga ng mga tatoo sa katawan. Yet one of them I look as a sort of father figure. My point is, I do not have a problem accepting people based on their past or even present to a certain extent. But romantic relationship is a whole different ball game. UUlitin ko since the point needs to come across ng maayos. Kahit sinong ulol may karapatan magmahal at mahalin. But it takes proper emotional maturity to make one really work and be healthy. Hindi lang yan happy happy dapat.

 

I do respect people and their opinions. Just because I do not agree with everything they say, it does not mean I dont respect it. Ganun lang talaga yun. In fact, I understand, most of you who come here look for VALIDATION. that precious validation. Na tama kayo sa ginagawa nyo, it will pay off in the end, you will prove your naysayers wrong, and you will have a cinderella ending. All people who are in love are like that.

 

 

mga babaeng CPA na tulad ko, may med rep, may nurse, and one marketing officer, all of them, gagohan lang nangyare, most of them nag 2 time and some are just plain psycho. yun ang hindi ko maintindihan bakit kung sino pa un maayos ang trabaho eh sila pa un kung umasta eh parang walang pinag aralan =)

 

in my opinion, mas nakaka sigurado ako na may limitation sya with her clients, at "trabaho lang" ang ginagawa nya pag nasa loob sya ng cubicle with her client. mas may peace of mind ako pag ganun kesa dun sa mga naging x ko outside the spakol world na hindi ko alam ang ginagawa pag naka talikod ako.

 

Ok man, lets stop and think about this. Hindi kaya mali ka lagi ng babaeng pinipili mo o mali yung babaeng nakakapili sayo? Have you ever thought that maybe you are more of the problem than they are? I don't mean to judge your character or anything like that. I AM NOT IMPLYING YOU ARE A BAD MAN EITHER. That statement lang kasi is just..... well.... naive. So hindi ka makahanap ng babaeng matino sa regular na mundo, tingin mo ngayon mas malinis pa yung mga nasa ganitong industrya? Don't you think you are making such a hasty generalization just because you had a couple of bad experiences? And now na masaya ka, this is how you rationalize things?

 

Ok hindi ko sinasabing masama kang lalake ha. Maybe you are a natural romantic. But the thing is, how good is your emotional defense? Kasi ang taong in love mababa ang depensa sa puso at utak. Thats how you get taken advantage of by bad women from the regular world and the trade di ba? Sabi mo marami ka ng naging relasyon, but how long did you spend learning from each of them?

 

Dude, listen lang with an open mind sana tutal you voluntarily offered yourself na as a specimen. Tingin ko kasi sa accounts mo, mababa pa din masyado emotional defense mo ngayon IMO

[Gits]

 

Then do everything in your power to get out of that business and start a new life. With that new life start a healthier relationship ng walang sabit o problema. Kung kaya tanggapin lalake nakaraan mo, then good luck. Let yesterday be the past.

 

Anybody can fall in love, but it takes certain maturity and preparedness to enter a serious relationship. Like I will always say, hindi pinapasok ang isang relasyon dahil lang masaya ka. Only teenagers do that.

Sir Edmund lalaki ako ako ang isa sa mga nagka gf ng therapist before. mali yata tong post mo well anyway i did asked her and convince her to leave this kind of job, but it's up to the girl pa rin naman diba. yung ex kung yun ang huli ko lang balita sa kanya tumigil na nga daw sya sa "spa" yun lang ang huli kong balita sa kanya noong 2011 pa yun. so i hope ok naman sya

[Edmund Dantes]

cardingtigas, if I may, I know we agreed on certain things before but after reading this, in my opinion, you're getting carried away. You're generalizing. Just because you got cuckolded by girls with decent jobs doesn't mean all girls with decent jobs are into cuckolding their husbands or bfs. Then you meet someone from the spa industry whom you became attached to and because of this you, again, generalize that girls in this industry are better than girls with decent jobs. The way I see it, it's your emotions that are dictating this post. I'm just stating an observation and I don't mean to offend you or anything.

 

I agree with mason here. This is in my opinion not a good way to rationalize your situation Cartigans.

 

Let me ask you something. Your past girlfriends, nung masaya ka sa kanila, naisip mo ba na sasaktan ka nila the way they did? Hindi naman di ba? At one point you were blissfully happy with them and you also thought it would last forever. In fact most probably, whatever imperfections they had you would have ignored dahil masaya ka. The way perhaps you are doing right now. Balewala trabaho nya sayo, hindi mo pagdududahan na baka masaktan ka din nya, lahat makikita mo yung magaganda lang. Di ba?

 

We dont wanna crucify you or anything pero sana nga, maintindihan mo sinasabi namin dahil kami dito ang hindi emotionally attached sa issue. Another thing that may sting you a bit, tingin ko kasi, masyado mong sinisisi yang mga babaeng yan. Ever thought na may kasalanan ka din naman kahit papano why your relationship hurt you the way it did? Again nobody is saying na ikaw yung masama. Ang tanong ko lang, did you properly defend yourself emotionally sa mga relasyon na yan? Like I said thats how you get taken advantage of by any woman. And if you never took time to fix the problem sa nakaraan, baka dinadala mo lang yan sa kasalukuyan. On and on lang ang cycle. So what happens if this one fails again? Will you put all the blame sa babae?

[Edmund Dantes]

Sir Edmund lalaki ako ako ang isa sa mga nagka gf ng therapist before. mali yata tong post mo well anyway i did asked her and convince her to leave this kind of job, but it's up to the girl pa rin naman diba. yung ex kung yun ang huli ko lang balita sa kanya tumigil na nga daw sya sa "spa" yun lang ang huli kong balita sa kanya noong 2011 pa yun. so i hope ok naman sya

 

Sorry I didn't phrase that properly. I am saying, kung ikaw yung babae layasan mo muna trabaho na yan tapos saka ka magnurture ng romantic relationship. Its a reasonable condition naman. I dont understand why so many people have to contest it. Pag lumabas na sya dyan, di at least mas magiging managable na relationship

[Gits]

 

Sorry I didn't phrase that properly. I am saying, kung ikaw yung babae layasan mo muna trabaho na yan tapos saka ka magnurture ng romantic relationship. Its a reasonable condition naman. I dont understand why so many people have to contest it. Pag lumabas na sya dyan, di at least mas magiging managable na relationship

It's ok sir, no worries and i understand your point

Edited December 5, 2014 by Gits

[CardingTigas]

I agree with mason here. This is in my opinion not a good way to rationalize your situation Cartigans.

 

Let me ask you something. Your past girlfriends, nung masaya ka sa kanila, naisip mo ba na sasaktan ka nila the way they did? Hindi naman di ba? At one point you were blissfully happy with them and you also thought it would last forever. In fact most probably, whatever imperfections they had you would have ignored dahil masaya ka. The way perhaps you are doing right now. Balewala trabaho nya sayo, hindi mo pagdududahan na baka masaktan ka din nya, lahat makikita mo yung magaganda lang. Di ba?

 

We dont wanna crucify you or anything pero sana nga, maintindihan mo sinasabi namin dahil kami dito ang hindi emotionally attached sa issue. Another thing that may sting you a bit, tingin ko kasi, masyado mong sinisisi yang mga babaeng yan. Ever thought na may kasalanan ka din naman kahit papano why your relationship hurt you the way it did? Again nobody is saying na ikaw yung masama. Ang tanong ko lang, did you properly defend yourself emotionally sa mga relasyon na yan? Like I said thats how you get taken advantage of by any woman. And if you never took time to fix the problem sa nakaraan, baka dinadala mo lang yan sa kasalukuyan. On and on lang ang cycle. So what happens if this one fails again? Will you put all the blame sa babae?

Hindi ko kasi ugali maghabol sa babae, kaya tumaas un count ng mga naging x ko. And yes, if they want out so be it, hnd ko pinag sisiksikan un sarili ko kung ayaw na, drama lang yun. Kaya nga wala kame label para wala kame masyado expectations sa isa't isa at hndi kame magkasakitan. Hndi ko din sinabe na magpapakasal kame eventually, relax lang kame..kaya relax lang din kayo =) Edited December 5, 2014 by cardingtigas

[CardingTigas]

 

I agree with mason here. This is in my opinion not a good way to rationalize your situation Cartigans.

 

Let me ask you something. Your past girlfriends, nung masaya ka sa kanila, naisip mo ba na sasaktan ka nila the way they did? Hindi naman di ba? At one point you were blissfully happy with them and you also thought it would last forever. In fact most probably, whatever imperfections they had you would have ignored dahil masaya ka. The way perhaps you are doing right now. Balewala trabaho nya sayo, hindi mo pagdududahan na baka masaktan ka din nya, lahat makikita mo yung magaganda lang. Di ba?

 

We dont wanna crucify you or anything pero sana nga, maintindihan mo sinasabi namin dahil kami dito ang hindi emotionally attached sa issue. Another thing that may sting you a bit, tingin ko kasi, masyado mong sinisisi yang mga babaeng yan. Ever thought na may kasalanan ka din naman kahit papano why your relationship hurt you the way it did? Again nobody is saying na ikaw yung masama. Ang tanong ko lang, did you properly defend yourself emotionally sa mga relasyon na yan? Like I said thats how you get taken advantage of by any woman. And if you never took time to fix the problem sa nakaraan, baka dinadala mo lang yan sa kasalukuyan. On and on lang ang cycle. So what happens if this one fails again? Will you put all the blame sa babae?

 

ask ko lang ulet sir, hindi ko lang sure kung na itanong ko na to before, or kung natanong ko man eh, kung nasagot mo un tanong ko.

 

Have you ever experience this kind of situation? have you been on my shoes? nagkaron ka na ba ng relationship or have you experience na magkaron ng nobya sa ganitong work para un ang maging basis mo sa mga opinion mo about my experiences and others as well???

 

last time I check, pareho lang kame kumakain ng kanin at umiinom ng tubig, humihinga...in short, tao pa din sila and they still deserve to live a happy life depending on their definition of what happiness is.

 

what I'm trying to say is that, hindi lahat nagpapakalugmok sa ganun trabaho, their circumstances in life may have changed and led them to enter into this kind of profession, but then again, they still deserve to be loved and taken care of. hindi naman makaka alis yan sa trabaho nya ng basta basta, may mag aalis nga sa kanya sa ganun trabaho, eh binahay naman sila, ganun din suma, libre iyot kasi binahay sila, masaya ba sila??? hindi mas worse pa nga minsan pag ganun. para sa ilan, it is just a phase in their life, and nag iipon lang ng pang capital para maka pag umpisa ng sariling negosyo, at yun nakita ko sa kanya na hindi ko nakita sa iba...may pangarap sya at hindi habang buhay na Spakol Therapist ang trabaho nya.

Edited December 5, 2014 by cardingtigas

[Edmund Dantes]

Hindi ko kasi ugali maghabol sa babae, kaya tumaas un count ng mga naging x ko. And yes, if they want out so be it, hnd ko pinag sisiksikan un sarili ko kung ayaw na, drama lang yun. Kaya nga wala kame label para wala kame masyado expectations sa isa't isa at hndi kame magkasakitan.

 

I dont think you are following me parekoy. Hindi naman dito pinaguusapan kung nagmakaawa ka for you to stay with them. The question is, do you think you properly defended yourself emotionally when you were with them? Or did you just fall completely and allow that bliss to carry you away? Kasi if thats the case, then talagang magiging lapitin ka ng babaeng loloko sayo. I am not saying you should not trust. Just learn the basics of emotional defense. Most people dito magaling manamantala.

 

As for your setup dun sa babae mo ngayon, OK yang ganyan na walang expectations walang tawagan, KUNG WALANG SEX AT INTIMACY. Tulad ng sabi mo, you tell each other secrets, you have feelings for her, you trust her a lot, and if you guys are having sex, para sakin kumplikasyon na yan eh. At masyado ka pa ding vulnerable sa setup na yan. Di bale ng pera makuha sayo pre, kikitain lang naman yan ulit. Pero yung pride, pag yan ang nabasag napakasakit at minsan hirap ng ayusin

[Edmund Dantes]

 

ask ko lang ulet sir, hindi ko lang sure kung na itanong ko na to before, or kung natanong ko man eh, kung nasagot mo un tanong ko.

 

Have you ever experience this kind of situation? have you been on my shoes? nagkaron ka na ba ng relationship or have you experience na magkaron ng nobya sa ganitong work para un ang maging basis mo sa mga opinion mo about my experiences and others as well???

 

last time I check, pareho lang kame kumakain ng kanin at umiinom ng tubig, humihinga...in short, tao pa din sila and they still deserve to live a happy life depending on their definition of what happiness is.

 

what I'm trying to say is that, hindi lahat nagpapakalugmok sa ganun trabaho, their circumstances in life may have changed and led them to enter into this kind of profession, but then again, they still deserve to be loved and taken care of. hindi naman makaka alis yan sa trabaho nya ng basta basta, may mag aalis nga sa kanya sa ganun trabaho, eh binahay naman sila, ganun din suma, libre iyot kasi binahay sila, masaya ba sila??? hindi mas worse pa nga minsan pag ganun. para sa ilan, it is just a phase in their life, and nag iipon lang ng pang capital para maka pag umpisa ng sariling negosyo, at yun nakita ko sa kanya na hindi ko nakita sa iba...may pangarap sya at hindi habang buhay na Spakol Therapist ang trabaho nya.

 

Sinagot ko na yang tanong mo na yan. No wala akong nakarelasyon sa ganyang hanapbuhay. Pero naranasan ko na din ang umibig sa maling sitwasyon at maling tao. Kaya naiintindihan kita at nakakapagcomment ako ng ganito. Nung ako nasa ganyang sitwasyon, lahat ng nagpapayo sakin ng taliwas sa gusto ko, tinuring ko na kalaban ko. Antagonist sa happiness na meron ako. Na tulad ng gusto mo tumbukin, wala sa kalagayan ko kaya hindi ako naiintindihan. And you know what I realized? These people did mean me well, and naiintindihan nila ako. Mas naiintindihan nga nila to a certain extent, kasi hindi sila emotionally clouded tulad ko noon, at tulad mo ngayon. Dude if I maybe frank, you are too emotionally clouded, you already start deluding yourself with the idea mas mabubuting babae yang mga nasa ganyang trabaho kesa sa mga may pinagaralan. Grow up a bit man! Gasgas na yang linyang "hindi mo kasi ako naiintindihan".

 

And lets not cloud the issue here. Spare the ad misericordiam please. Like I said, I have friends who used to be career criminals and one of them I look up as a sort of daddy figure. Hindi issue dito pagiging tao nila, o justified na pumasok sila sa ganyang trabaho and all. Ang issue dito is it wise to pursue a romantic relationship with them. Sure I wont mind befriending them and share a meal with them. But am I gonna be intimate at the same time and give them access to all of my emotions? Not really.

 

Lalong hindi issue din dito ang karapatan na mahalin at magmahal. Lahat naman kahit sinong ungas dyan pwede sabihin ito. PERO it takes a level of maturity and wisdom to nurture a healthy romantic relationship that does indeed help you become a better person and not just a happy one. Kaya nga, calculate your risks properly. Feel with your heart, but decide with your mind. Hindi ka na teenager para laging magpadala sa bugso ng damdamin at irationalize itong mga cracks that can prove your undoing.

 

Finally, come on man! Lahat ng babaeng dumadating sa buhay mo is special in a way. Im sure before you wanna start calling them b!tches, naging prinsesa sila sayo. The love of your life, the queen of your heart etc. My point is, basta mahal mo yung tao she becomes special. May nahahanap ka sa kanya na di mo nahahanap sa iba, thats given because no 2 people are exactly alike. Kaya nga tinatanong ko (not in anyway intending to demoralize you) don't you think nasayo ang problema kaya hindi nagiging successful mga nakaraan relasyon mo? Do you honestly think you are not just repeating the cycle by letting your emotions dictate your thinking?

[Sephirot]

Dude, ano naman dapat mo ikainggit? Madami ka naman for sure mayaya ng ganyan sa labas ng MP o Spa di ba? Give it a shot!

 

I can do what you suggest even date other theras but that's not my intention (to have sex), pera lang yan okay na. What I want is to go out with her so we can know each other further if there will be a future in it?

[Sephirot]

 

for the record SPA therapist un sinasabe ko at hindi MPA, para lang malinaw

 

There is a very very thin line now between SPA therapist and an MPA. Maybe 3-5 years ago. I already know some SPA thera that were formerly working in MP and some are PSP. but ofc don't PM me on who they are.

[Sephirot]

No I disagree. Thats very naive. Hindi nawawala libog dahil in love ka, tumitindi pa nga yan lalo kasi wala na kayong inhibitions sa isat isa. At ang sabi ko, hindi lang libog at kilig ang dahilan for you to pursue a romantic affair with someone. Any idiot can fall in love. But it takes a certain level of emotional maturity to love at the right place, at the right time, with the right person. Hindi lang yan puros dinner date, kwentuhan etc. Kahit nga ang mga relationships with regular people nawawala din sa infatuation phase. This is true for all relationships. It gets to the point na nawawalan na kayo ng dati nyong enthusiasm sa mga date o kahit sa kama pa. At kung shaky foundation nyo dahil puros lang kayo kilig kilig, believe me it will never go far.

 

I think that's true on ordinary working girls, but on these girls na into this kind of work, you have first to prove to them that you respect the thera you are pursuing so she will know and understand that they don't court you and be your GF just to get free sex but rather to have a true relationships. Then kung okay na kayo sa isa't isa then tsaka papasok yung sex without inhibitions kasi lama na ang iyong true intentions.

Edited December 5, 2014 by Sephirot

[CardingTigas]

Sinagot ko na yang tanong mo na yan. No wala akong nakarelasyon sa ganyang hanapbuhay. Pero naranasan ko na din ang umibig sa maling sitwasyon at maling tao. Kaya naiintindihan kita at nakakapagcomment ako ng ganito. Nung ako nasa ganyang sitwasyon, lahat ng nagpapayo sakin ng taliwas sa gusto ko, tinuring ko na kalaban ko. Antagonist sa happiness na meron ako. Na tulad ng gusto mo tumbukin, wala sa kalagayan ko kaya hindi ako naiintindihan. And you know what I realized? These people did mean me well, and naiintindihan nila ako. Mas naiintindihan nga nila to a certain extent, kasi hindi sila emotionally clouded tulad ko noon, at tulad mo ngayon. Dude if I maybe frank, you are too emotionally clouded, you already start deluding yourself with the idea mas mabubuting babae yang mga nasa ganyang trabaho kesa sa mga may pinagaralan. Grow up a bit man! Gasgas na yang linyang "hindi mo kasi ako naiintindihan".

 

And lets not cloud the issue here. Spare the ad misericordiam please. Like I said, I have friends who used to be career criminals and one of them I look up as a sort of daddy figure. Hindi issue dito pagiging tao nila, o justified na pumasok sila sa ganyang trabaho and all. Ang issue dito is it wise to pursue a romantic relationship with them. Sure I wont mind befriending them and share a meal with them. But am I gonna be intimate at the same time and give them access to all of my emotions? Not really.

 

Lalong hindi issue din dito ang karapatan na mahalin at magmahal. Lahat naman kahit sinong ungas dyan pwede sabihin ito. PERO it takes a level of maturity and wisdom to nurture a healthy romantic relationship that does indeed help you become a better person and not just a happy one. Kaya nga, calculate your risks properly. Feel with your heart, but decide with your mind. Hindi ka na teenager para laging magpadala sa bugso ng damdamin at irationalize itong mga cracks that can prove your undoing.

 

Finally, come on man! Lahat ng babaeng dumadating sa buhay mo is special in a way. Im sure before you wanna start calling them b!tches, naging prinsesa sila sayo. The love of your life, the queen of your heart etc. My point is, basta mahal mo yung tao she becomes special. May nahahanap ka sa kanya na di mo nahahanap sa iba, thats given because no 2 people are exactly alike. Kaya nga tinatanong ko (not in anyway intending to demoralize you) don't you think nasayo ang problema kaya hindi nagiging successful mga nakaraan relasyon mo? Do you honestly think you are not just repeating the cycle by letting your emotions dictate your thinking?

Mas kilala mo pa ako kesa. Sa sarili ko, ayus ah, ako nakaka experience kaya alam ko sinasabe ko...try mo kaya muna, kahit one time lang, hndi naman ako nagpapawasak sa situation kaya alam ko pa din position ko at alam ko kababagsakan ko kung sakali, try mo muna na pumasok sa ganun situation para mas reliable un preachings mo sir. Edited December 5, 2014 by cardingtigas

[Dolce]

ano man ang trabaho legit or not, love and romance is universal. kung main love ka sa thera or mpa then go! you will still undergo the same ups and downs of a relationship maybe you'll get the results as your past failed relationships and if maganda naman sa tingin mo ang kalalabasan then good for you CardingT.

 

in defense of EdmundD, concerned lang naman siya siguro sa yo CardingT. Maybe based on EdmundD experience or his friend's experience, just giving his opinion/advise ikaw pa din ang masusunod di ba Carding?

 

And to leave this forum for today....a quote from John Bridger(Donald Sutherland) in the movie The Italian Job "Find somebody you want to spend the rest of your life with, and hold onto her forever."

Edited December 6, 2014 by Dolce

[Edmund Dantes]

Mas kilala mo pa ako kesa. Sa sarili ko, ayus ah, ako nakaka experience kaya alam ko sinasabe ko...try mo kaya muna, kahit one time lang, hndi naman ako nagpapawasak sa situation kaya alam ko pa din position ko at alam ko kababagsakan ko kung sakali, try mo muna na pumasok sa ganun situation para mas reliable un preachings mo sir.

Dude, you are also preaching your own brand of gospel (i.e. na tao din sila na dapat mahalin, mas desente pa kesa sa mga babaeng may office career), and I am preaching mine. Thing is, huwag ka mapipikon, hindi komo MTC ito sa lahat ng pagkakataon validation makukuha mo. You voluntarily offered yourself as a specimen, so its expected someone will dissect you di ba? Isa pa, tulad ng sinasabi ko, hindi ko intensyon na gawing kang masama o laitin pagkatao mo ng GF mo at nino man.

 

Ito isipin mo ha. Hindi komo ang isang tao wala sa eksaktong kalagayan mo, mali na sya sa mga sinasabi nya at di ka naiintindihan. Lahat ng reactions na sinabi mo sakin, at lahat ng response mo, sinabi ko na din yan noon. Kaya nga gasgas na ang linyang "wala ka sa kalagayan ko kaya di mo naiintindihan". Kungbaga sa isang substance abuse counselling ako yung may problema sa drugs, ikaw naman yung alcoholic. But our behavioral patterns and defense mechanism (denial for instance) are predictably the same. People who gave their 2 cents on my situation then were people who never experienced what I have, but you know what I learned in the end? Tama naman sila eh. May punto sila. Mas nakita nga nila ng maayos sitwasyon kasi nga, hindi sila emotionally attached. Emotions like it or not cloud sound judgement. If I say wala ako sa sitwasyon mo, then you can argue na "ano ba alam ko?". If I said I was, then I am a hypocrite. Eitherway you see me as someone who is a threat to your happiness.

 

Lahat naman siguro kahit anong sitwasyon, ganito magisip pag sobrang lasing sa emosyon. Pag mahal mo, di mo tinitignan yung pangit at kahit pa yung mali. Ang titignan mo lang yung maganda at nakakapasaya sayo. You are hopeful, you are optimistic, you rationalize it. Anybody who has been in and out of love understands this. Ako noon, sabi ko hindi mali na mahal namin isat isa, ang mali yung sitwasyon namin. So we ignored the situation, until it just sank in. In yours, if I read correct, no expectations, geniune friendship, pero may intimacy and you are sharing each other your deepest secrets. Well I am the one not emotionally attached so I see the complication clearer than you do. Kasi you are already giving so much kahit wala ka masyado pinanghahawakan maliban ang happiness na meron kayo.

 

Dude, my own brand of gospel has been consistent. Walang masama magmahal sa kahit anong klaseng babae. Pero lagay naman sa tamang lugar. Be fair sa sarili mo, kung handa ka magbigay ng lahat, its not a bad idea to ask din naman for something more para sa sarili mo. Na calculated ng mabuti yung risks mo, and kung di man kayo magkatuluyan, you wont end up with the same pain and bittereness you had with your previous relationships. I am not saying pwede ka lokohin ng mga babaeng ito sa pera. In fact naloko na ako ng babae sa pera, pero I hardly had bitterness over it. Kasi pera lang yan eh. Kikitain mo naman yan ulit. Pero yung sugat sa pride, sugat sa pagkalalake, yun ang mahirap gamutin. Lokohin mo na ako sa pera huwag lang sa manly pride ko.

 

Pero tulad ng sabi ng isang ito, nasa iyo naman yan sa huli. Sana nga you don't look back like the rest of us did and say, "ay tama nga pala sila". I don't expect to have many friends in this thread. Like I said, I am aware some come here to seek validation. I give my 2 cents to whoever voluntarily offers himself as a specimen. Many hated me (hence negative votes), 1 thanked me, and some take what I say with an open mind.

[CardingTigas]

Dude, you are also preaching your own brand of gospel (i.e. na tao din sila na dapat mahalin, mas desente pa kesa sa mga babaeng may office career), and I am preaching mine. Thing is, huwag ka mapipikon, hindi komo MTC ito sa lahat ng pagkakataon validation makukuha mo. You voluntarily offered yourself as a specimen, so its expected someone will dissect you di ba? Isa pa, tulad ng sinasabi ko, hindi ko intensyon na gawing kang masama o laitin pagkatao mo ng GF mo at nino man.

 

Ito isipin mo ha. Hindi komo ang isang tao wala sa eksaktong kalagayan mo, mali na sya sa mga sinasabi nya at di ka naiintindihan. Lahat ng reactions na sinabi mo sakin, at lahat ng response mo, sinabi ko na din yan noon. Kaya nga gasgas na ang linyang "wala ka sa kalagayan ko kaya di mo naiintindihan". Kungbaga sa isang substance abuse counselling ako yung may problema sa drugs, ikaw naman yung alcoholic. But our behavioral patterns and defense mechanism (denial for instance) are predictably the same. People who gave their 2 cents on my situation then were people who never experienced what I have, but you know what I learned in the end? Tama naman sila eh. May punto sila. Mas nakita nga nila ng maayos sitwasyon kasi nga, hindi sila emotionally attached. Emotions like it or not cloud sound judgement. If I say wala ako sa sitwasyon mo, then you can argue na "ano ba alam ko?". If I said I was, then I am a hypocrite. Eitherway you see me as someone who is a threat to your happiness.

 

Lahat naman siguro kahit anong sitwasyon, ganito magisip pag sobrang lasing sa emosyon. Pag mahal mo, di mo tinitignan yung pangit at kahit pa yung mali. Ang titignan mo lang yung maganda at nakakapasaya sayo. You are hopeful, you are optimistic, you rationalize it. Anybody who has been in and out of love understands this. Ako noon, sabi ko hindi mali na mahal namin isat isa, ang mali yung sitwasyon namin. So we ignored the situation, until it just sank in. In yours, if I read correct, no expectations, geniune friendship, pero may intimacy and you are sharing each other your deepest secrets. Well I am the one not emotionally attached so I see the complication clearer than you do. Kasi you are already giving so much kahit wala ka masyado pinanghahawakan maliban ang happiness na meron kayo.

 

Dude, my own brand of gospel has been consistent. Walang masama magmahal sa kahit anong klaseng babae. Pero lagay naman sa tamang lugar. Be fair sa sarili mo, kung handa ka magbigay ng lahat, its not a bad idea to ask din naman for something more para sa sarili mo. Na calculated ng mabuti yung risks mo, and kung di man kayo magkatuluyan, you wont end up with the same pain and bittereness you had with your previous relationships. I am not saying pwede ka lokohin ng mga babaeng ito sa pera. In fact naloko na ako ng babae sa pera, pero I hardly had bitterness over it. Kasi pera lang yan eh. Kikitain mo naman yan ulit. Pero yung sugat sa pride, sugat sa pagkalalake, yun ang mahirap gamutin. Lokohin mo na ako sa pera huwag lang sa manly pride ko.

 

Pero tulad ng sabi ng isang ito, nasa iyo naman yan sa huli. Sana nga you don't look back like the rest of us did and say, "ay tama nga pala sila". I don't expect to have many friends in this thread. Like I said, I am aware some come here to seek validation. I give my 2 cents to whoever voluntarily offers himself as a specimen. Many hated me (hence negative votes), 1 thanked me, and some take what I say with an open mind.

Papa jack ikaw ba yan? =)

[Edmund Dantes]

 

I can do what you suggest even date other theras but that's not my intention (to have sex), pera lang yan okay na. What I want is to go out with her so we can know each other further if there will be a future in it?

 

What I am saying, does it have to be women from this industry in particular? You can do that with other women from outside the trade too. Whats stopping you?

 

I think that's true on ordinary working girls, but on these girls na into this kind of work, you have first to prove to them that you respect the thera you are pursuing so she will know and understand that they don't court you and be your GF just to get free sex but rather to have a true relationships. Then kung okay na kayo sa isa't isa then tsaka papasok yung sex without inhibitions kasi lama na ang iyong true intentions.

 

Yun na nga sinasabi ko. Pano na pag pumasok kayo dun. Syempre sa umpisa ang saya saya. But what if the reality of the situation starts to catch up and become real already? You have given so much of yourself sa tao, and pano kung wala kang panghawakan in the end. Kaya nga di ba? Yung iba gusto hangang friendship lang, walang romance walang sex. Yung iba naman sex lang gusto. Kasi walang panghahawakan sa huli

 

 

 

 

ano man ang trabaho legit or not, love and romance is universal. kung main love ka sa thera or mpa then go! you will still undergo the same ups and downs of a relationship maybe you'll get the results as your past failed relationships and if maganda naman sa tingin mo ang kalalabasan then good for you CardingT.

 

in defense of EdmundD, concerned lang naman siya siguro sa yo CardingT. Maybe based on EdmundD experience or his friend's experience, just giving his opinion/advise ikaw pa din ang masusunod di ba Carding?

 

And to leave this forum for today....a quote from John Bridger(Donald Sutherland) in the movie The Italian Job "Find somebody you want to spend the rest of your life with, and hold onto her forever."

 

Yep true. I dont expect many friends for saying what I do here. Surely nerves are gonna be tapped. I try to keep it civil naman, but sometimes some will act really childish at pepersonalin ka dahil lang hindi mo binibigay gusto nilang validation. But its all good, hindi naman lahat hateful sa sinasabi ko. In fact one thank me, and another one medyo taking naman what I said with an open mind.

 

Pero I agree romance is universal. Heartbreak is heartbreak. Thats why, sabi nga di ba, a bird and a fish could fall in love but where would they live.

[Edmund Dantes]

Papa jack ikaw ba yan? =)

 

I have been called that a lot in this thread lol. I don't exactly know who this guy is, I only know he has a radio program. But like I said before, I don't expect to make many friends dito sa thread na ito.

 

Contrary to what you might wanna think na di kita naiintindihan, sobrang naiintindihan kita. Kahit nga yung halatang pagkainis mo na, naiintindihan ko din. Kasi dinaanan ko din naman yan. Ang mga response na "wala kayong alam", "hindi nyo ako naiintindihan", "buhay ko ito" "tignan nyo nga muna mga sarili nyo", lahat yan sinabi ko din. I acted like a rebellious teenager who is lovestruck. I treated anyone who didn't give me my validation as a threat to my happiness. But I learned that the last thing a fish notices is water.

 

If I am thankful for one thing in all those cycles of falling in love, hurting, and going through phases of self-destruction is that natuto naman ako ng husto. Kaya nga yung huli kong heartbreak, di ako nagmadali pumasok sa isa nanamang relasyon kahit andyan may kumakatok and offering tenderness and care I could use. BUT I chose the path of embracing my pain and allowing it to teach me lessons I keep refusing to learn when I was happier.

[Edmund Dantes]

I would have to agree with the Count of Monte Cristo although it is spelled with a "U" instead of an "O" because there is already someone by that name. Trivialities aside, ED sympathizes and empathizes with CT since ED had already been there. To those who are involved in this kind of relationship, ask yourselves these questions:

 

1. Are you willing to introduce these girls to your parents/relatives?

 

2. Are you ready to take the backlash that comes with it?

 

3. Are you ready to be disavowed by your friends and relatives?

 

4. Are you willing to support the girl's relatives?

 

If the answer to all the four is a resounding yes, then, by all means, go for it, but, if not, just let it go.

 

Yeah thats true. Hindi ko intensyon na manghamak ng babae at mangbasag ng kaligayahan ng kapwa ko lalake. Lalake din ako at alam ko kung ano ang pakiramdam ng lokohin ka ng babae. Di na bale pera eh. Kikitain mo lang yan. Madali mo mapapatawad babae dahil sa pera. Pero yung durugin pride mo, paglaruan emosyon mo etc. Yun ang napakahirap. Dumaan din ako sa period ng depression at yung inabot ko, hinding hindi ko gugustuhin mangyari kahit sa kanino mang kapwa ko lalake. Kahit gaano ko kagalit.

 

Ayan pareng carding, valid questions ang mga yan. try mo sagutin mga tanong ni Pareng Mason sayo at pagisipan mo ng maayos. Malamang kalaban tingin mo samin pero sa bagay na yan naiintindihan ka namin. Sa huli lahat naman ng sinasabi namin ay para din sayo di ba?

 

Again if I had not said it enough, lahat ng babae sa industryang ito dapat bigyan ng pagkakataon magbagong buhay. Wala tayong problema dyan. Kaya nga sana, bago sila pumasok sa isang relasyon, talikuran na muna ang buhay na yan. Para din naman yan sa ikakaayos ng reslsyon eh