*kalel* Posted October 2, 2012 Share Posted October 2, 2012 Reposting something funny I read .. Things that Cybercrime Act should cover: 1. VANITY SHOTS. Bawal mag-upload ng 3 albums worth of photos na puro fez mo lang! Feel kitang i-report!!! Nag-headband lang, 75 photos na agad dapat... 2. AFTER JER-JER CUDDLING PHOTOS. Wag mag-upload ng pics nyo ng jowa mo na obvious na wala kayong saplot! Hindi handa ang sambayanan sa bedsheets nyong madumi. 3. Mga mahilig makipag-away in English na karumal-dumal naman ang grammar. "I'm can never jealous of slots like you. Your such trying hard!" 4. TMI - (Too Much Information) Attack - "ang lakas ng regla ko today...", "haizt maghapon akong nagtatae sakit na ng pwet ko!" 5. Emo 24/7 - "guys ang sakit may mahal na syang iba..." "fb frendz, gusto ko na mamatay..." "haizz miss ko na sya pero di ko sasabihin kung sino..." "guys, umiiyak ako ngayon (insert photo)" 6. Eowh pHouH kuYaH UzTah pHouH jan jEjEjE acoH pHouH auZ aman waZap pHouH Nuh pHouH 3p nYoH jaN tawa much jEjEjE-----> RECLUSION PERPETUA Quote Link to comment
Bugatti Veyron Posted January 27, 2013 Share Posted January 27, 2013 Erap: "Loi, pwede ka ba mag pasa load ng P2 sa phone ko? Naubusan ako ng load." Loi: "Sige." Nagpasa load si Loi ng P2 sa account ni Erap. Erap: Upon receiving the pasa load, nag text siya kay Loi. "Maraming salamat." Loi: "Tanga! P2 lang ang pinadala ko. Wag ka na mag reply." Erap: Nag text si Erap: "Ok." Quote Link to comment
scam Posted January 28, 2013 Share Posted January 28, 2013 The Liberal Party ticket of the administration will now be called Team PENOY.They are already anticipating no one would make it from their line up. Quote Link to comment
Bugatti Veyron Posted January 28, 2013 Share Posted January 28, 2013 CA vs TX Governor of California is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A Coyote jumps out and attacks dog. #1. Governor starts to intervene, reflects upon the movie "Bambi" and then realizes he should stop; the coyote is only doing what isnatural. #2. He calls animal control. Animal control captures coyote and spends $200 testing it for diseases and $500 upon relocating it. #3. He calls veterinarian. Vet collects dead dog and spends $200 testing it for diseases. #4. Governor goes to hospital and spends $3,500 getting checked for diseases from the coyote and on getting bite wound bandaged. #5. Running trail gets shut down for 6 months while wildlife services conduct a $100,000 survey to make sure the area is clearof dangerous animals. #6. Governor spends $50,000 of state funds implementing a "coyote awareness" program for residents of the area. #7. State legislature spends $2 million investigating how to better handle rabies and how to possibly eradicate the disease. #8. Governor's security agent is fired for not stopping the attack and for letting the Governor intervene. #9. Cost: $75,000 to train new security agent. #10. PETA protests the coyote relocation and files suit against the state. Texas : #1. Governor shoots coyote and keeps jogging. Governor has spent $0.50 on a .45 ACP hollow point cartridge. Buzzards eat deadcoyote. Any wonder why California is broke???? He he he. Good one... Quote Link to comment
camiar Posted April 30, 2013 Author Share Posted April 30, 2013 (edited) From Get Real Philippines: "...As if it weren’t funny enough. Early today, media watchdog blog Spin Busters broke news of an appalling lapse in editorial rigour by top Philippine broadsheet Philippine Daily Inquirer (PDI). Spotted on the front page of the 20th April 2013 edition of the PDI was an image depicting what seems to be the front cover of TIME Magazine featuring a photo of Philippine President Benigno Simeon “BS” Aquino III on the occasion of being named among the “100 Most Influential People in the World”.The image is actually a photoshopped meme posted on the Facebook page of social media political commentary powerhouse Showbiz Government...." tang nah talaga etong si abnoy, mukha pa lang matatawa ka na talaga sa inis! Hilig palaging nakanganga... At etong si Inquirer naman, sobrang pagsisipsip, ayun mukhang abnoy na rin sila... Edited April 30, 2013 by camiar Quote Link to comment
harmless0810 Posted April 30, 2013 Share Posted April 30, 2013 a recession is your neighbor losing his joba depression is losing your joba recovery is obama losing his job Quote Link to comment
harmless0810 Posted May 1, 2013 Share Posted May 1, 2013 in a rare press briefing, obama tells everyone that he's proud of jason collins. idiotxx posted on the breitbart sites,"is there a block of salt this guy won't lick?" Quote Link to comment
dungeonbaby Posted May 2, 2013 Share Posted May 2, 2013 I have ceased to follow de Quiros on Twitter. well done! i'm out of jokes so this'll have to do... Quote Link to comment
harmless0810 Posted May 2, 2013 Share Posted May 2, 2013 during a lull in the heated 1988 democratic presidential primary, gary hart took his mistress, donna rice, for some rest and relaxation. unfortunately, the press found the couple on a yacht named 'monkey business'. that's really the yacht's name. anyway... the scandal forced hart to quit the race. after a few months, the media tracked down donna rice. they asked her what's her view on the upcoming presidential election. donna rice: "my heart is for bush but my b*sh is still for hart." Quote Link to comment
oscartamaguchiblackface Posted May 2, 2013 Share Posted May 2, 2013 during a lull in the heated 1988 democratic presidential primary, gary hart took his mistress, donna rice, for some rest and relaxation. unfortunately, the press found the couple on a yacht named 'monkey business'. that's really the yacht's name. anyway... the scandal forced hart to quit the race. after a few months, the media tracked down donna rice. they asked her what's her view on the upcoming presidential election. donna rice: "my heart is for bush but my b*sh is still for hart."Ha ha ha. Good one!! Quote Link to comment
harmless0810 Posted May 3, 2013 Share Posted May 3, 2013 oprah, michelle and mayor richard daley joined obama to bid for chicago 2016 at the headquarters of the international olympic committee. after a long and careful deliberation, chicago was the first city to be eliminated. it was covered live so the news spread fast. chicago resident #1: what happened? chicago resident #2: obama talked too much about himself and too little about chicago. Mainstream Media: RIO WILL HOST THE 2016 OLYMPICS Conservative Press: EPIC FAIL: OBAMA BLAMES IT ON RIO aboard airforce one, a furious obama shouted, "IT'S ALL HIS FAULT, I BLAME BUSH." Quote Link to comment
sonnyt111 Posted May 4, 2013 Share Posted May 4, 2013 oprah, michelle and mayor richard daley joined obama to bid for chicago 2016 at the headquarters of the international olympic committee. after a long and careful deliberation, chicago was the first city to be eliminated. it was covered live so the news spread fast. chicago resident #1: what happened? chicago resident #2: obama talked too much about himself and too little about chicago. Mainstream Media: RIO WILL HOST THE 2016 OLYMPICS Conservative Press: EPIC FAIL: OBAMA BLAMES IT ON RIO aboard airforce one, a furious obama shouted, "IT'S ALL HIS FAULT, I BLAME BUSH."Reminds me of PNoy blaming GMA!! Ha ha ha... Quote Link to comment
maxiev Posted May 5, 2013 Share Posted May 5, 2013 di ba many politicla jokes are now running in the May 13, 2013 elections? Sad part is a lot of them will actually win and the Joke will be on the entire country :( :( :blush: :angry2: :lol: :( :( Quote Link to comment
harmless0810 Posted May 5, 2013 Share Posted May 5, 2013 Headline: ANGRY KANYE WEST YANKS AWAY AWARD FROM UNDESERVING TAYLOR SWIFT two weeks later Breaking News: OBAMA WINS NOBEL PEACE PRIZE Republican National Committee: let's send kanye to the award ceremonies. Quote Link to comment
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