Bad Boy Or Good Guy!

[the messiah]

bad boy kasi malakas ang sex appeal eh hehe

[Tristan_Lopez]

I guess its because people have that inclination to try how it is to live on the wild side. Mahirap naman pag palaging prim and proper ang buhay mo nagiging boring. We all have experienced naughty streaks from time to time (unless u live in a cave and do not know the difference between an MPA and an NPA). Girls like "bad boys" for the same reason that good boys ( like me....ehem..cough,cough) like "bad girls":they bring excitement and something different to our lives. But we should also be careful not to get too caught up in such kind of a life because we all need security, happiness and love in the end.

[driftingman]

could it be that the good guys wait for the opportunity to come up - more reactive

 

while the bad boys create the opportunities - more proactive?

 

so while the good guys may keep on waiting - and bad boys go out on that the date?

[rea_listic]

the maginoo mejo bastos type

[boy popoy]

yup the bad boys get the girls, but its the good guy that the women eventually settle down with.

 

the women who go for the good guys tend to be the ones who are ready to settle down (they now look for security and companionship), have high self esteem (they love themselves too much to be taking s@%t from anyone) or are just tired of being hurt (been there, done that - lesson learned).

[mizuno882004]

I am definitely a good decent guy with bad habits!

[cyrusdvirus]

So am I master! So am I......

 

I am definitely a good decent guy with bad habits!

[ReservoirDogs]

Being a "bad" guy or "good" guy is relative. If someone smokes pot, curses like a drunk sailor and sleeps around (but single), and yet helps out in charities or donates some of his money to several foundations, would you call him a bad guy or a good guy?

 

Or if the guy is prim and proper, a nice and responsible son, has a stable job, doesn't go out on gimmicks, doesn't have any vice and yet cheats on his girl (even if he tells her she's the only one), would you call him a good guy or a bad guy?

 

It's all too relative. For me, I consider someone a good guy if he knows how to treat his girl right. Even if he's boring or wild, geeky-looking or leather-jacket-wearing dude, just as long as he knows how to handle a relationship and make the girl feel special, then that is one good guy. I prefer good guys.

[netbiz01]

To all ladies and good guys (its your time to outshine the bad guys) out there . I found this article while surfing the net. You might find it very interesting.

 

I read it and found it very enlightening.

 

The good guys

Source: The Manila Times

By: Mark J. Macapagal

 

I've received a lot of e-mails where people mention that I do not think in the manner typical for most men. They comment that I'm sensitive to people's feelings, observant, communicative, determined, caring, etc. While it's true I do believe I possess these qualities to some degree, what I find odd is that I find quite a number of women say that it's rare. That I'm supposed to be some sort of oddball male, totally unlike the cads and jerks that they've been dating all their lives. Thing is, I'm pretty sure I'm not rare at all. I just think that people have this tendency to look in the wrong places. A group of women that I worked with at my old computer company were having lunch one day and I sat down with them, just in time to catch the middle of a tirade against my gender. My co-workers went on and on about how men just wanted "one thing," never treated them right, and that there were no good husbands to be had anymore. No one who would be faithful, loving and a good provider, basically, was what I caught from their conversation.

 

Eventually, they naturally focused on me, the male at the table, and were waiting for my input so that they could refute it and continue moaning about the decline of eligible bachelors. I finished my sandwich and then said, "No, there are plenty of good guys. Like Doug, for instance..."

 

"Doug?" one woman questioned. "That quiet, bookish fellow in database? He's so boring." At this point, I interjected, "Yeah, he might be, I don't know. But the thing is, you're all wailing about finding good men and you're looking for them in bars, parties, discos, wherever. Hasn't it occurred to you that any of the guys you meet in these settings are probably not the marrying kind?"

 

The table was quiet so I continued, "You see, if you want the stable, faithful, consistent men, you have to look at the accountants, the bookkeepers, these men. I think it stands to reason that it's the men who lead quiet, comfortable lives are the ones who would make the best partners. Since you're looking for good conversation, I would think the guys who spend their time reading books instead of drinking beer and playing cards would be the better bet. Family values your thing? Then I suppose the guy who's active in his parish would be the ticket for that."

 

"But that's kind of boring, I don't want that," another woman said. "Well, that is right," I answered. "But there you go again. If you're attracted to the power broker who drives a Porsche and picks up women every night, what makes you think that this man will be sensitive and caring to your needs? You like the guy who takes you to all the hot spots in town? Haven't you thought that for him to know all the hot spots, he's probably been going to all of them already with women other than yourselves?"

 

"See, the exciting guys, the `bad boys'?" I said. "Yeah, make no mistake, they are a hell of a lot more fun than going out with the geeks. But you are running the high risk of falling for someone that's not going to treat you as well as you'd like. So you go for the `bad boys' and you keep this silly little notion in your head that they're going to change because of you when really, they're not going to. And when your relationship comes to its inevitable, bloody end, you call the guy a jerk and a cheat but, if you think about it, he was already that when you met him. So what's the big surprise then?"

 

The table was pretty silent after that. I guess they were expecting me to be easy pickings, or to simply concede to their girl power affirmation session. In the end, I think they did realize the truth in what I said. Later, one would tell me that her past relationships were littered with musicians, artists, racecar mechanics, etc, and not one "smart pick" in the bunch, was how she put it.

 

I suppose I'm just saying that if you keep to a lemon grove, you're going to keep picking lemons. That if all the men in your circle are of a certain type (that you don't like), then it's time to expand your circles. Because I think you'll see, there's a lot out there once you make it out of your comfort zone and start looking at those you might never have looked at before.

[Yama]

Theres only thing that was clear to me upon reading that column: good guys are NOT attractive. Dating is a cruel market, and there is a reason why some brands sell mad and leave other brands at the shelves. Asking women to "expand their circles" is like a plea of mercy from the average frustrated nice guy. Its just pathetic.

[preacher]

Really now. So you're going to generalize on that statement? And in this sense, where would you place yourself?

[rakinishu]

...enjoy!

 

Why "Nice Guys" are often such LOSERS

You hear it all the time: "He was such a NICE Guy, and she's such a Heartless Bitch for dumping him."

 

I get letters from self-professed Nice Guys, complaining that women must WANT to be treated like s@%t, because THEY, the "Nice Guy" have failed repeatedly in relationships. This is akin to the false logic that "Whales are mammals. Whales live in the sea. Therefore, all mammals live in the sea."

 

If you have one bad relationship after another, the only common denominator is YOU. Think about it.

 

What's wrong with Nice Guys? The biggest problem is that most Nice Guys are hideously insecure. They are so anxious to be liked and loved that they do things for other people to gain acceptance and attention, rather than for the simply pleasure of giving. You never know if a Nice Guy really likes you for who you are, or if he has glommed onto you out of desperation because you actually paid some kind of attention to him.

 

Nice Guys exude insecurity -- a big red target for the predators of the world. There are women out there who are "users" -- just looking for a sucker to take advantage of. Users home-in on "Nice Guys", stroke their egos, take them for a ride, add a notch to their belts, and move on. It's no wonder so many Nice Guys complain about women being horrible, when the so often the kind of woman that gets attracted to them is the lowest form of life...

 

Self-confident, caring, decent-hearted women find "Nice Guys" to be too clingy, self-abasing, and insecure.

 

Nice Guys go overboard. They bring roses to a "lets get together for coffee" date. They try to buy her affections with presents and fancy things. They think they know about romance, but their timing is all wrong, and they either come-on too strong, too hard and too fast, OR, they are so shy and unassertive, that they hang around pretending to be "friends", in the hope that somehow, someway, they will get the courage up to ask her out for a "date".

 

They are so desperate to please that they put aside their own needs, and place the object of their desire on a pedestal. Instead of appreciating her, they worship her. We are only human, and pedestals are narrow, confining places to be -- not to mention the fact that we tend to fall off of them.

 

They cling to her, and want to be "one" with her for fear that if she is out of sight, she may disappear or become attracted to someone else. A Nice Guy often has trouble with emotional intimacy, because he believes that if she learns about the REAL person inside, she will no longer love him.

 

Nice Guys are always asking HER to make the decisions. They think it's being equitable, but it puts an unfair burden of responsibility on her, and gives him the opportunity to blame her if the decision was an unwise one.

 

Nice Guys rarely speak up when something bothers them, and rarely state clearly what it is they want, need and expect. They fear that any kind of conflict might spell the end of the relationship. Instead of comprimising and negotiating, they repeatedly "give in". When she doesn't appreciate their sacrifice, they will complain that, "Everything I did, I did for her.", as if this somehow elevates them to the status of martyrs. A woman doesn't want a martyr. She wants an equal, caring, adult partner.

 

Nice Guys think that they will never meet anyone as special as she is. They use their adoration as a foundation for claiming that "no one will ever love her as much as I do." Instead of being a profound statement of their devotion, this is a subtle, but nasty insult. It is akin to saying to her: "You are a difficult person, and only *I* can ever truly love you, so be thankful I'm here."

 

The nice guy -needs- to believe that he is the best person for the object of his desires, because otherwise his insecurities will overrun him with jealousies and fear. The truth of the matter is that there are many people out there who can be a good match for her. We rarely stop loving people we truly care about. Even if we no longer continue the relationship, the feelings will continue... But love isn't mutually exclusive. We can (and do) love many people in our lives, and romantic love is really no different. Though he may love her immensely, there will likely be other people who have loved her just as much in her past, and will love her just as much in the future. The irony of it all is: "Who would want to go out with someone who was inherintly unlovable anyways?"

 

More than loving the woman in his life, a Nice Guy NEEDS her. "She is my Life, my only source of happiness..." YECH! What kind of a burden is that to place on her? That SHE has to be responsible for YOUR happiness? Get a grip!

 

Another mistake Nice Guys make is to go after "hard luck" cases. They deliberately pick women with neuroses, problems, and personality disorders, because Nice Guys are "helpers". A Nice Guy thinks that by "helping" this woman, it will make him a better, more lovable person. He thinks it will give him a sense of accomplishment, and that she will appreciate and love him more, for all his efforts and sacrifice. He is usually disappointed by the results.

 

This ultimately boils down to the fact that Nice Guys don't like themselves. Is it any wonder women don't like them? In order to truly love someone else, you must first love yourself. Too often Nice Guys mistake obsession for "love".

 

Get this Guys: INSECURITY ISN'T SEXY. IT'S A TURNOFF.

 

You don't have to be an ego-inflated, arrogant jerk. You just have to LIKE yourself. You have to know what you want out of life, and go after it. Only then will you be attractive to the kind of woman with whom a long-term relationship is possible.

[iwalkalone]

All you have to be is...be Nice, Pretty and Cool.

If you're not Pretty...might as well be Nice and Cool.

If you're Pretty but you're a Shmuck...no, girls don't like that...ugly or/and stupid girls might like that.

Girls might go for Shmucks ( who are Pretty or/and Cool) but eventually they will still leave that Shmuck and go for a Nice, Pretty and Cool guy.

Then again...you can be everything a girl could want...but she still has to leave or turn away ( in case of a first meeting)...why?...because being Bad or Good...or Pretty...or Ugly...sometimes, isn't everything.

[Waterbearer]

to waterbearer: maybe you just didn't notice the good girls looking for good guys in your life because we're sometimes we're not all that noticeable. we're not usually flashy or sexy or drop dead gorgeous so we don't tend to turn the average guy's head, and let's face it, attraction usually starts with one's eyes, right? maybe we just seem plain and boring to you men, but we know that we do have a lot to offer, and some of us are willing to hold out till we find someone who can appreciate us for what we are.

 

well, such is life. as you said, "i guess our fates dicatate otherwise."

 

peace.

I sense the sincerity of your post....and i believe there are women out there who are just like you....the good girls that you are referring to are mirror images of what we are (or used to be).....sadly.....you just can't have 2 good people in one room (sensya na...i believe opposites attract) ....true we may have not noticed you....maybe because you were too shy to make your presence felt.....or maybe because good guys look for something they don't have.....a wild side.....

 

I guess our fates dictate otherwise.

[Yama]

I place myself as an integrated man, someone who doesnt have to be nice to expect something in return, yet who doesnt have to be bad to get what I want.

 

Its been a rough path, and it made stopped defending the nice guy turf.