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A Complicated Relationship


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hi fellow mtc members

i have a big prob and hope you can help me

i wanted to get back with my ex gf whom i saw just 2mos. ago

the problem is we broke up 8yrs ago and never saw each other since then

she committed suicide when i left her and her family and friends are so mad at me.

she has a 3yr old kid now, but i`m willing to treat the kid as mine. she is married but will be divorced soon.

her parents get mad at her every time they see my name calling in her cellphone.

but i really want her back. how can i win her back? how can i assure her parents that i won`t leave her again?

what can i do?

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How's this for complicated?

I love someone but I'm away literally from her. I couldn't commit because of complications with our situation. I do not want to her to give up her life & be with me. She has a good life, work, etc.

When I left, I told her nothing has changed. I still love her. But she decided it was time to move on and she met someone new. Now, she's pregnant. She says she still loves me.

Would I give up everything and come back and take her? What about her baby? What about the rights of the dad? Very complicated - I really don't know what to do.

I guess I'll just have to suffer. I told her the baby took me by surprise. I was hoping that at least she really has ended our relationship first before doing that. A year or so with another guy, get engaged or something then a baby. It all happened so fast.

I'm suffering and I can't do anything about it. :( I think I'll have to say goodbye to the one who was really the one who I thought I could spend the rest of my life with. I love her and that may be forever. But it's wrong for me to love her. :(

She wants to move on. So let her be. I think this relationship is doomed to fail since it's a rebound. But hope for the best for everyone concerned. Everything seems wrong now. It'll take a huge effort to make everything right.

 

It's time for you to start over and let her go. This is what she wanted.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I'm losing her wtih each passing day. Now she tells the guy that she loves him. I think it's because of the baby and because I'm not there and maybe she thinks I cannot love her with her situtation now.

It's wrong in all aspects. Wrong for me to still love her. Wrong because she got pregnant first even if she allowed or wanted this to happen.

 

It should've been love first.

 

I guess there's nothing left but to say goodbye. I can feel it in her voice that she has moved on. That I no longer matter. That her love for me is gone.

 

Is it really love if it dies? Or is true love different? I thought this time was really it. :( I guess not. Should I still love her in spite of what happened.

 

I think I really love her. But I know love doesn't work if it's just one way.

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  • 4 weeks later...

hi fellow mtc members

i have a big prob and hope you can help me

i wanted to get back with my ex gf whom i saw just 2mos. ago

the problem is we broke up 8yrs ago and never saw each other since then

she committed suicide when i left her and her family and friends are so mad at me.

she has a 3yr old kid now, but i`m willing to treat the kid as mine. she is married but will be divorced soon.

her parents get mad at her every time they see my name calling in her cellphone.

but i really want her back. how can i win her back? how can i assure her parents that i won`t leave her again?

what can i do?

 

You didn't mentioned the reason of break up, just curious :)

 

 

 

But if I were the girl, sorry to say this but

 

"You don't know how much it hurt to walk out and give up on you because of the things you've done.

But, it would hurt more if I came back and you were to do it again.

Can We Just Be Friends? " :P

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Complexities are there because we FEEL. We have emotions. Many simple things in life are attainable if we detach ourselves from the surge of our feelings. We can rationalize but we can never actually, truly follow the rationale unless we step back and take a look at our situation in a farther spot.

 

Sa case in friendy0603, he knows for a fact that he was the one who allowed the complication to happen. Had you really felt love for the girl, you would have taken her with you wherever you are. Why do I say it? Because love endures. You could've stepped up and been a man and took accountability for her sacrifices are made sure she never regret the things she gave up because you guys are together. And if she loves you enough, she would have jumped at the chance to start a life with you. Because a woman with competence and confidence will stand by her man, if the man proves his worth. Now her pregnancy just reiterates the fact that she has moved on and had no qualms whatsoever about how you would feel. If she loved you, she would have taken into consideration that you were once special to her and vice versa. Depending on the mood of your last conversation, it's her choice to inform you her plans if you ended on a good note. If not, her business is none of yours. Let her be. She is already old enough to decide her own fate.

 

Love her till you can love her no more. Soon, your heart and mind will get tired of loving and waiting. And I can relate to what you're going thru because the waiting is the hardest part. Waiting if there's yet one last text from her. Checking to see if there's one FB status that directly or indirectly pertain to you. It's the not knowing that kills us and makes things complicated. Because we are afraid of the things that we have yet to understand. But what I know, is that I DON'T KNOW. Yet. There are answers. We can speculate but it's up to you to conclude if you want to move on and make your complicated situation a simple one.

 

Good luck and God bless. :)

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Complexities are there because we FEEL. We have emotions. Many simple things in life are attainable if we detach ourselves from the surge of our feelings. We can rationalize but we can never actually, truly follow the rationale unless we step back and take a look at our situation in a farther spot.

 

Sa case in friendy0603, he knows for a fact that he was the one who allowed the complication to happen. Had you really felt love for the girl, you would have taken her with you wherever you are. Why do I say it? Because love endures. You could've stepped up and been a man and took accountability for her sacrifices are made sure she never regret the things she gave up because you guys are together. And if she loves you enough, she would have jumped at the chance to start a life with you. Because a woman with competence and confidence will stand by her man, if the man proves his worth. Now her pregnancy just reiterates the fact that she has moved on and had no qualms whatsoever about how you would feel. If she loved you, she would have taken into consideration that you were once special to her and vice versa. Depending on the mood of your last conversation, it's her choice to inform you her plans if you ended on a good note. If not, her business is none of yours. Let her be. She is already old enough to decide her own fate.

 

Love her till you can love her no more. Soon, your heart and mind will get tired of loving and waiting. And I can relate to what you're going thru because the waiting is the hardest part. Waiting if there's yet one last text from her. Checking to see if there's one FB status that directly or indirectly pertain to you. It's the not knowing that kills us and makes things complicated. Because we are afraid of the things that we have yet to understand. But what I know, is that I DON'T KNOW. Yet. There are answers. We can speculate but it's up to you to conclude if you want to move on and make your complicated situation a simple one.

 

Good luck and God bless. :)

 

sapul ako dito bro, hehehehehehe

 

I guess you're right about that.....

 

:ninja:

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Complexities are there because we FEEL. We have emotions. Many simple things in life are attainable if we detach ourselves from the surge of our feelings. We can rationalize but we can never actually, truly follow the rationale unless we step back and take a look at our situation in a farther spot.

 

Sa case in friendy0603, he knows for a fact that he was the one who allowed the complication to happen. Had you really felt love for the girl, you would have taken her with you wherever you are. Why do I say it? Because love endures. You could've stepped up and been a man and took accountability for her sacrifices are made sure she never regret the things she gave up because you guys are together. And if she loves you enough, she would have jumped at the chance to start a life with you. Because a woman with competence and confidence will stand by her man, if the man proves his worth. Now her pregnancy just reiterates the fact that she has moved on and had no qualms whatsoever about how you would feel. If she loved you, she would have taken into consideration that you were once special to her and vice versa. Depending on the mood of your last conversation, it's her choice to inform you her plans if you ended on a good note. If not, her business is none of yours. Let her be. She is already old enough to decide her own fate.

 

Love her till you can love her no more. Soon, your heart and mind will get tired of loving and waiting. And I can relate to what you're going thru because the waiting is the hardest part. Waiting if there's yet one last text from her. Checking to see if there's one FB status that directly or indirectly pertain to you. It's the not knowing that kills us and makes things complicated. Because we are afraid of the things that we have yet to understand. But what I know, is that I DON'T KNOW. Yet. There are answers. We can speculate but it's up to you to conclude if you want to move on and make your complicated situation a simple one.

 

Good luck and God bless. :)

Thanks! We all have different needs at different times. She had a great career and I didn't want to take her away from that. I love her but I gave her the freedom. She loved that job. You can't just throw away that. I know someone who gave up migrant status coz of the unknown of going overseas and not finding a good job when she was already satisfied with her job. I always thought you should never trap someone to you. I loved her that much. I didn't look for someone else. :( I always thought "our love" was different.

 

I just can't let go. She would choose me if not for the baby. This guy was a mistake. But she feels responsible to the baby to give the orig parents a chance. Is it going to work if it was a sacrifice? I mean there are people who get married/planned and have babies and still break up. What are the chances that this guy is the one or the "right one" for her? If no one says anything, she thinks she is doing the "right" thing. It wasn't the right thing to get pregnant and they still early in the relationship. But if she felt that this is the guy for her, i won't stand in her way.

 

I have never been selfish and even if I want her to be mine, I want it to be her choice and not because I forced her. That's why I never got her pregnant. This new guy is just an a-hole. :( He started a relationship when she was in a vulnerable/rebound stage and didn't even take the necessary precautions to avoid this complication. I think he planned it so that she couldn't get away from him.

Edited by friendly0603
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I have never been selfish and even if I want her to be mine, I want it to be her choice and not because I forced her. That's why I never got her pregnant. This new guy is just an a-hole. :( He started a relationship when she was in a vulnerable/rebound stage and didn't even take the necessary precautions to avoid this complication. I think he planned it so that she couldn't get away from him.

 

Maybe one day bro she would realize that the one she truly needs is you, maybe that mistake would allow her to do that...who knows, no one can predict the future.....

 

:)

 

good luck bro!!!!

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hi fellow mtc members

i have a big prob and hope you can help me

i wanted to get back with my ex gf whom i saw just 2mos. ago

the problem is we broke up 8yrs ago and never saw each other since then

she committed suicide when i left her and her family and friends are so mad at me.

she has a 3yr old kid now, but i`m willing to treat the kid as mine. she is married but will be divorced soon.

her parents get mad at her every time they see my name calling in her cellphone.

but i really want her back. how can i win her back? how can i assure her parents that i won`t leave her again?

what can i do?

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Maybe one day bro she would realize that the one she truly needs is you, maybe that mistake would allow her to do that...who knows, no one can predict the future.....

:)

good luck bro!!!!

Thanks, bro! Hoping one day.... :) But expecting the worst. I just hope that if it's not her then there's somebody more than her that will eventually fill the void.

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  • 1 month later...

i'm searching the forum where i can ask this... but nothing seems to fit...

 

here's the scenario...

 

you two broke up... both are picking up the pieces...

the girl is picking up the pieces to move on with her life without the guy...

the guy didn't pick up the pieces he just wallowed... miserable... but happy for the girl...

 

but...

 

the girl out of the blue comes back into his life...

and say's "I WANT TO BE HAPPY... WITH YOU!"

 

the guy couldn't answer... he already liked how things are,

although at the back of his mind he wanted her back... but he knows it's intelligent and better for him not to

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