Writings of the Heart

[Daddy's tart]

 

Today i felt that i missed you more than other days..i tried to keep busy and deny myself of needing you badly as it would be no use.

 

I get scared day by day that we might not be able to go back the way things used to be. When life used to be simple and uncomplicated.

[Unwritten]

Where restlessness was, now my heart is perfectly at ease.

Where uncertainty was, now your love is blissfully secure.

[jelly bean]

If...

[Sir Galahad®]

The heart wants what the heart wants...

 

You may spend all that time trying to catch her attention, and while you may have for a bit, but then suddenly he comes and simply says "Hi!", and she will drop everything (that includes you) just to get his attention.

 

While you may feel bad about it, think again... while you are spending all this time trying to catch her attention, someone else is trying to catch yours, and you are ignoring that person for it.

 

It is just the way things are...

[jelly bean]

tick tock

Edited June 30, 2017 by blue violet

[opl]

Why Im Letting You Go

 

Out of all the people I fell in love with, you were the one who I pictured a life with. Not any life, but the life Ive always wanted. You were the one that I felt something with I have never felt before. You were the one whose with, it made sense. You were the one of my dreams. You were a wish that came true too soon. A dream that turned to a nightmare, a disappointment, a heartache. Please believe me when I say that I forgive you. I dont hate you but I most definitely hate the way you let me go. And Ill never understand how easily you did it. Ill never understand how flawlessly you forgot about me. But, I forgive you because I really loved you. I forgive you because I dont want to give you power over the person I am and the future I could possibly have. I forgive you because I dont need you to tell me what the truth is. I forgive you because thats just who I am. This is me letting you go for good. Im accepting the fact that you belong with someone else. That someday, youll be waking-up next to someone who isnt me. And that someday youll be someones everything. Im letting go of hope that youll contact me. So, Im blocking you everywhere. Im letting go of fantasizing that youll tell me youre sorry about everything just one last time. That youll tell me how much you missed me, but most importantly, that youll show it. Im letting go of my desire that youll let me in, not half-way, not sort of but completely. Im letting go of me thinking that youll come back because its always been me. Im letting you go. And its not because I dont love you still. Im letting you go because I want to be happy. I know that without you, I am not happy. But, I also know that with you I am not happy either. So I need to find my medium place where I am happy regardless. A place without memories of you in it, a place without a picture of you in it as well. I need to start over. Im letting you go because you gave-up. You gave-up on me, you gave-up on us, you gave-up on love. And so I get it when you said you had nothing to fight for. Im letting you go because loving you has no meaning if it only stinks, if it only pains me. Because I cant tell whats real anymore. And because its my last resort. Im letting you go because slowly but surely you too, let me go.

Painful but full of meaning

[sOin2you]

Asking and getting an answer gives affirmation. It may not be what you expect but it provides an answer that may free you from the clouds of disillusionment.

[aStro_]

today I lied

 

I am not ok.

 

I will be. But not today.

[jelly bean]

one day...

[Sir Galahad®]

This just appeared in my facebook memories, today, seven years ago... I remember loving this song that I put it on repeat the whole evening. But now I forgot who I dedicated it to. Ahahahahahaha!

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XI-H8-egRq8

[jelly bean]

pity the fool...

[sOin2you]

"Do you think it'll be OK if I have a baby?", she asked.

 

"Nope." I replied.

 

"But why?", she tried again.

 

I knew where this was going. "You know why." I patiently let out.

 

"Tell me why..." She pushed.

 

I stared at her for a long time with an arched brow.

 

"Seriously?" I asked.

 

My friend has been nagging me about this for some time.

 

She knew of my reservation with what she wanted. Apparently she's in love and in a relationship with a guy... But it gets complicated... Tangled web, to better put it.

 

One day, she sent me a photo in Viber. To my surprise, it was a PT kit that showed positive. I asked her if what I was thinking was right, and she confirmed it.

 

I would want to shake her til she came to her senses, but I didn't think it was the best time for that. So I asked her what now.

 

She said she'd let the guy know but wouldn't expect anything, and would raise the baby on her own. I knew she could and would do just that... But she's my friend, and I would love to punch the guy in his face and curse him from head to toe.

 

I've been having my own reservations with the guy. And because she's my friend, I told her that I didn't like the guy. I felt that the guy's got no balls and would easily walk out on her.

 

I tried my best to be there for her for some months. Hanged out with her if she needed my company. But I knew how stressed she was, with her work and that situation. The guy would keep in touch with her from time to time, and I was always afraid she wouldn't be able to keep her words and decide to take him back.

 

It was this week when we had the chance to have dinner. She said that she encountered some bleeding before we joined the run (that Sunday when we did the Leg 1 of Runrio). I asked how she was, and she said that lost the baby. I felt sad, but relieved as well.

 

She said that maybe it really wasn't for her. I told her that I felt the same. Things happened so fast between them and there were things that hasn't been properly settled yet.

 

(Their story goes deeper, with each of their status background. But there was really one incident that got me to having second thoughts with the guy).

[Sir Galahad®]

I confess that I think of you sometimes. I remember that you were a 22 year old GRO/Dancer when my friend referred you to me. I remember that despite the client-escort relationship we had we became friends. I remember the phone calls when you were in the province. I remember feeling bad when I asked another girl to accompany me to boracay instead of you. I remember that you were trying to take up culinary studies.

 

Sometimes, I wonder if we didn't drift apart, would you have been great as you are now? Or would I be the cause of your downfall?

 

At least we do chat from time to time, and we are friends over social media. But I am extremely proud of you transitioning from intimate services, to helpdesk services, to team lead and now a BPO Account Manager.

 

Well our office buildings are just adjacent to each other... Maybe I'll say hi when our paths cross again.

 

Maybe you are the one that got away?

[Bodyshots69]

Universe,

 

I've made love with the fire

Banished all the curses

Leaped over a burning bridge

Weathered all the storms

Danced with the wolves

...

[Unwritten]

In the hi-stakes game of love, unlike poker, the Queen of hearts trumps all cards.

But if you play your cards right, even the King of nothing can win the queen.

[Ms.Tiffany*]

I've got a war in my mind

[jelly bean]

My memory misses you. It asks about you all the time.

[*Jessie*]

I may be in love with you but I can not lie to myself.

This is what I want and if you can not give what I think I deserve, then you are not for me.

I cannot receive love from you while disrepecting my wishes and myself.

[Unwritten]

Maybe what really is to blame for many missed connections or letting that special person to get away, is double guessing or over thinking in that decisive moment when all we need to do is simply just allow ourselves to lose control and let, for a few moments , emotions over-rule rationality.

 

I must admit, that I have not completely gotten over the one that got away. It's like an un-finished business that begs for proper closure or the wound remain unhealed to which even a slight reminiscing would feel like adding salt to a raw and open cut.

[theoneandonlymistressmia]

I wanna write whats inside my heart but my fingers are too lazy. Maybe I'm no in the mood.

[Mon-El]

I have been untrue
To myself and to my heart
I waited for the questions to answer themselves
I waited for the possible to become probable
I cowered down behind shadows
Even they shied away
I cowered down behind lies
Even they unravelled
I cowered down behind those cowards
Even they left in disgust
Beneath the slime and muck of time
I lie shivering in the cold
Today I have said I, but never you
Selfish is the soul that speaks
To itself as it leaks
Lies and deceit upon the shelves
Shelves covered with hearts in jars
These hearts that cry out the truth
Their own echo is all they hear

[glut_func]

wag parati magpapadala sa libog...isa to sa mga pinakamalaking pagkakamali na magagawa mo sa buhay mo.

[🌟HUDAS🌟]

To the guy who is not worthy of my love.

I'm done. I'm done making myself believe, that one day you will me love the way I love you.

I'm done. I'm done trusting myself, that all the efforts I make will all be worth it.

I'm done. I'm done begging, for your love and attention hoping that someday you will realize I am enough.

From now on.

No one will call you when you need to wake up early to go to work.

No one will text you when you need to do this, you need to do that.

No one will take care of you anymore in times when you are sick.

And no one will be there for you when you are down and needs someone to talk to.

Thank you. Thank you for all the heartaches, that made me stronger and stand tall.

Thank you. Thank you for all the sorrow, that made me a better person now.

Thank you. Thank you for making me realize, that you aren't worthy of my love.

This is the time,

To say goodbye to you.

To bid my farewell to you,

And to end all of my dreams, for me and you.

Sana makakita ko ng babae magmahal tulad neto. Buong buo kung magmahal. Di ko papakawalan at sasaktan

[lito leon]

Everyone seems to be happy because you are leaving for Japan. I know you want to become a singer and earn a lot from it. Your family convinced you to leave because Philippines will not give you a high paying job or career even if you have a bachelors degree.Being an entertainer there will give you a lot of money . The way i have known you for years, i never expected it to happen, or im just surprised with your life's choices. We Love each other and just waiting to get married if your mom will give us her blessing. But with you leaving everything behind us, we are now free from each other, may God help us both in our separate ways.

 

I thought it was just to become rich, being from a middle class family with steady income and businesses , you could have been a successful business woman, or a career woman.

 

In just a couple of years i heard from your family that you already have a boyfriend there, then later on, you married a Japanese, from there i realized there is no way we can be together anymore. I never stopped caring about you, but its clear that its just me who cares now.You had kids, you divorced, you married again, had kids, then you divorced and then you married again a 73 year old man.

 

Time flies, it was already 15 years ago, I also got married recently and had two kids. Then suddenly you showed up, i almost didn't recognized you. you said how are you. I said I'm fine, thank you.

 

All I can do is to stare at you, searching from the layers of memories, to find the Love i had with you before. Your name is still there just clouded by dust. You know that I'm happy with the life i have. I just hope that you are also happy with yours.

[fredbooger]

You'd been a good friend to me buddy

Shame, we have to say farewell this soon

 

Be at peace now brother