Tanya08 Posted December 9, 2005 Author Share Posted December 9, 2005 That's a fair statement. I guess my line of thinking is that our topic being Divorce, that we should be discussing strictly the legal aspects of marriage. Discussing the philosophical/moral/religious/romantic aspects of marriage is a dead end in my opinion. I think everyone agrees why people should get married, stay married, and stay committed.<{POST_SNAPBACK}> But the thing here is they already got their selves into it… were talking about those people who were already got married for wrong reasons… people who viewed and realized that getting married was a mistake… people who are suffering, being abused and living in a miserable life during their marriage… how about those people who became a victim because of these mistakes? And their children… aren’t we going to give them another chance? Quote Link to comment
Guest Inquisitive Posted December 9, 2005 Share Posted December 9, 2005 I agree that there should be divorce in the Philippines especially to those cases that merit it. Imagine a wife who is always beaten black and blue by his husband every single night not to mention their children who are also battered too. Legal separation will not do since the spouses are only to be separated from bed and board but legally they are still husband and wife. Hence, the wife will have to live her life alone and not get the chance to be happy and start over. Quote Link to comment
new2dabeat Posted December 9, 2005 Share Posted December 9, 2005 That's a fair statement. I guess my line of thinking is that our topic being Divorce, that we should be discussing strictly the legal aspects of marriage. Discussing the philosophical/moral/religious/romantic aspects of marriage is a dead end in my opinion. I think everyone agrees why people should get married, stay married, and stay committed.<{POST_SNAPBACK}> Exactly - but that, by no means, characterizes "If you cant see marriage as a union of a man and a woman in love....if you see it more as a contract....then just pls dont get married..." as a "fair statement." On what merit? Again, Love != Marriage - in ANY book - whether it be some holy tome or legal document. Hem and haw all you want, but it won't change the fact that modern "marriage" is a sad misguided mismatch of a LEGAL state adulterated by religious ratification (or vice versa - the statement works and is workable either way). In simplest terms, why do you need the ratification of some entity (religious or otherwise) to "confirm" your love? For that matter, why is a religious ceremony grounds for legal status? I don't see any special legal status given to persons who got their First Baptism. Or their Confirmation. Or their Bar/Bat Mitzvah. Or their first Haj... Yes, I agree we're going far afield from the legal focus. Unfortunately, it's EXACTLY the kind of childish/oversimplified/what-have-you (no, I am not trolling nor seeking to invoke a flame war - I am simply making a statement that fits with the discussion at hand) type of comment as "If you cant see marriage as a union of a man and a woman in love....if you see it more as a contract....then just pls dont get married..." that precludes any sensible discussion of divorce from taking place. My two centavos worth. Quote Link to comment
zencalix Posted December 9, 2005 Share Posted December 9, 2005 siguro dapat na nga may divorce dito... problema lang, dadami talaga maghihiwalay na magasawa... Quote Link to comment
cool_hedonist Posted December 9, 2005 Share Posted December 9, 2005 Couples should be allowed to have a divorce if the marital relationship has totally broke down..........there is no need for them to suffer each other........ Quote Link to comment
gig0l0 Posted December 9, 2005 Share Posted December 9, 2005 "Discussing the philosophical/moral/religious/romantic aspects of marriage is a dead end in my opinion. I think everyone agrees why people should get married, stay married, and stay committed." The only reason i brought out this line of reasoning is because for me marriage is more than just a legal concern. If take the "philosophical/moral/religious/romantic aspects of marriage" in the discussion, then you're not talking about marriage at all cos you're only considering one side. Of course, legally, divorse can be justified. After all, legally, marriage is just a piece of paper...a contract....that can be treated as another legal document. If you want a well rounded discusion of marriage, dont brush off important aspects of it. For me, i'm getting into marriage not for the contract's sake but for some other important reasons that you dont want to discuss. I'm sorry...i probably barged in a forum that is purely legal. I'll keep my mouth shut from now on. Thanks. Quote Link to comment
new2dabeat Posted December 9, 2005 Share Posted December 9, 2005 "Discussing the philosophical/moral/religious/romantic aspects of marriage is a dead end in my opinion. I think everyone agrees why people should get married, stay married, and stay committed." The only reason i brought out this line of reasoning is because for me marriage is more than just a legal concern. If take the "philosophical/moral/religious/romantic aspects of marriage" in the discussion, then you're not talking about marriage at all cos you're only considering one side. Of course, legally, divorse can be justified. After all, legally, marriage is just a piece of paper...a contract....that can be treated as another legal document. If you want a well rounded discusion of marriage, dont brush off important aspects of it. For me, i'm getting into marriage not for the contract's sake but for some other important reasons that you dont want to discuss. I'm sorry...i probably barged in a forum that is purely legal. I'll keep my mouth shut from now on. Thanks. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> I assume your response was based on my last response Not at all, nothing to apologize about, and certainly nothing to keep your mouth shut over - this is a discussion board, right? In any case, as you put it, it *is* an issue that has to take several aspects into account. The only point I wanted to make was that the _institution_ of marriage and its underlying "non-material" baggage makes it extremely difficult to have a real discussion (and not just on this board, but in terms of the Phils gov't and society) on the merits of legalizing divorce. Quote Link to comment
lomex32 Posted December 10, 2005 Share Posted December 10, 2005 In the absence of the desired Divorce LawsWe have legal separation and Annulment.... Anyone wants to enlighten how things progress? 1. Indeed the grounds are established. what are these? (infidelity.... moraly, financial, emotional incapacities...? what else 2. What are the usual elements divided apart? Children, expenses, assets and properties ....what else? 3. Are there a formulae to this regard? 4. Care to share an actual scenario? Quote Link to comment
antwanshakeel Posted December 10, 2005 Share Posted December 10, 2005 problem with annulment is that the court would always deny the petition whenever one of the spouse contests it. meaning, you must have prior consent or agreement before filing a case for it to be successful Quote Link to comment
Hudson Posted December 10, 2005 Share Posted December 10, 2005 In the absence of the desired Divorce LawsWe have legal separation and Annulment.... Anyone wants to enlighten how things progress? 1. Indeed the grounds are established. what are these? (infidelity.... moraly, financial, emotional incapacities...? what else 2. What are the usual elements divided apart? Children, expenses, assets and properties ....what else? 3. Are there a formulae to this regard? 4. Care to share an actual scenario?<{POST_SNAPBACK}> It is a very slow and tedious process unless you know someone who can make it happen in 3 months for 200,000 pesos and no appearances in court. The usual complaint is psychological incapacity. drug abuse,homosexuality, non-consumation of the marriage vows(no sex) are the rest i think. But these reasons have to be present and was not disclosed before the marriage. Infidelity is not a ground for annullment but for legal separation only. The division of the assets is usually the bone of contention. The kids are used as a bargaining chip unless you can prove that she is an unfit mother. Children below 7 years old are automatically given to the mother. My take on the 3rd question is the actual process? If it is then you have to get a very good lawyer and be honest with him. He will be your friend,priest for the duration of the case. I filed my case in 2002 and it is still pending because she is contesting. As i have said in my previous post, she would keep quiet for 2 million. My children are with me except for my daughter who is in college in manila and she lives with my mother. My ex-wife's lawyer has admitted to my lawyer that i really do have a case but it can't be used in court. I am not a lawyer but i read the family code before i filed just to know what are my rights and they are very few. Para hindi OT.For all of the difficulties a person would go through just to be free, we should have divorce in the country. Quote Link to comment
antwanshakeel Posted December 10, 2005 Share Posted December 10, 2005 It is a very slow and tedious process unless you know someone who can make it happen in 3 months for 200,000 pesos and no appearances in court. The usual complaint is psychological incapacity. drug abuse,homosexuality, non-consumation of the marriage vows(no sex) are the rest i think. But these reasons have to be present and was not disclosed before the marriage. Infidelity is not a ground for annullment but for legal separation only. The division of the assets is usually the bone of contention. The kids are used as a bargaining chip unless you can prove that she is an unfit mother. Children below 7 years old are automatically given to the mother. My take on the 3rd question is the actual process? If it is then you have to get a very good lawyer and be honest with him. He will be your friend,priest for the duration of the case.I filed my case in 2002 and it is still pending because she is contesting. As i have said in my previous post, she would keep quiet for 2 million. My children are with me except for my daughter who is in college in manila and she lives with my mother. My ex-wife's lawyer has admitted to my lawyer that i really do have a case but it can't be used in court. I am not a lawyer but i read the family code before i filed just to know what are my rights and they are very few. Para hindi OT.For all of the difficulties a person would go through just to be free, we should have divorce in the country.<{POST_SNAPBACK}> 200k is really expensive but you cant put a price to freedom Quote Link to comment
torix Posted December 10, 2005 Share Posted December 10, 2005 kaya marahil nowadays marami ang naglive in para wala nang kuskos balungos pag nagkasawaan o nagkasamaan - divorce may papeles pa yan - yung live in, aregluhan na lang Quote Link to comment
Guest wackeen Posted December 12, 2005 Share Posted December 12, 2005 But the thing here is they already got their selves into it… were talking about those people who were already got married for wrong reasons… people who viewed and realized that getting married was a mistake… people who are suffering, being abused and living in a miserable life during their marriage… how about those people who became a victim because of these mistakes? And their children… aren’t we going to give them another chance?<{POST_SNAPBACK}> using this post as a jump-off point, but Tanya am not directly responding to you.. the beauty of these forums is we can make focused but well-rounded discussions. pag masyadong malawak ang topic, sabog na masyado di ba? and so fortunately or unfortunately, divorce is primarily a legal matter. divorce is a legal remedy or escape route from a marriage (as a legal union). now the reasons to enter and exit marriage are multi-faceted. in the case of abused women and children there problems are much deeper than a marriage contract. there are bad husbands and bad fathers (say what you will, but you can be one but not the other). divorce will help in managing one, but not the other. Quote Link to comment
Tanya08 Posted December 12, 2005 Author Share Posted December 12, 2005 using this post as a jump-off point, but Tanya am not directly responding to you.. the beauty of these forums is we can make focused but well-rounded discussions. pag masyadong malawak ang topic, sabog na masyado di ba? and so fortunately or unfortunately, divorce is primarily a legal matter. divorce is a legal remedy or escape route from a marriage (as a legal union). now the reasons to enter and exit marriage are multi-faceted. in the case of abused women and children there problems are much deeper than a marriage contract. there are bad husbands and bad fathers (say what you will, but you can be one but not the other). divorce will help in managing one, but not the other.<{POST_SNAPBACK}> i guess you’re right divorce is something more about legal matter and we should know them first if were planning to go through it. kaya lng kse wala pa ring divorce d2 saten kaya im asking everyone if their agree or not, but its really nice to know about the legal matter pra ma-educate din kme so thank you guys for sharing your thoughts and knowledge about this thread. keep it up! :cool: to hmlokh thanks a lot sa mga info.. ive learned a lot sa mga posts mo.. basta ako, i still agree that we should have divorce in the ph. I guess mas marami ang nag post na agree din cla. Quote Link to comment
veco Posted December 17, 2005 Share Posted December 17, 2005 i won't go for divorce in the phils.. kase baka ma-take for granted lang yung marriage kung sakalai eh.. though i know mahirap, matagal and magastos yung annulment process, mas mabuti pa din yun para hindi magpadalus-dalos yung mga nagpapakasal. sabe nga ng Diyos diba, what God has joined together, no man shall separate them (tama ba?) =) Quote Link to comment
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