What Is The Hardest Thing For You To Say...

[13thwitch]

i'd stay...and give him hell for doing it...to make things even...(grrr)

[Guest JuicyCowgurl]

non cheaters are for saints.

 

and he is not a saint.

 

so am i.

 

[wOwShakes]

TAO naman hinahanap ko eh

 

hindi SANTO

[PLAYSPORT01]

Just want to keep the record straight here, i opened this topic

but it doesn't mean that this is my personal case ha... some people

here have already met my partner and i don't want them to think

something else

 

I just want to know the ideas of the members on this issue.

 

Ok, let's move on.

 

My opinion is that if you know that you still love her, i'll still keep the relationship, give her the full trust again, and as much as possible, i will not dwell the issue anymore with her.

 

Instead, what i'm going to do is to identify the causes of why she has done that, then tingnan ko ang mga ways or ung mga dapat kong gawin para hindi na niya ulitin ulit yun.

 

hi! im actually a female. i jst indicated that im a male bcoz ive been posting some messages which are supposed to be directed to all males. u know, men wouldn't take advices from a female seriously right?

 

ur response caught my attention. i have a boyfriend for seven years. he loves me alright.

but lately, a different side of him surfaces.. nhihilig sya mag men's KTV. everytime i would find out, he apologizes. he used to tell me that he's not that kind of person really.. that it was just a bad indiscretion.

he did it thrice this year.

i know what ur saying.. "there is nothing wrong with that." yes, i know.

but that doesn't go for us, i gues.

let me say, he hadn't been true to me about that other side of him.

its not like i wont let him be his true person.

but the problm is, i was misled. all these years..

how do i deal with this?

in bed, i'd say, he's very satisfied with me. im pretty sure about that.

i just cant stand that he lied to me about his true self.

in a man's point of view, could it be na nagsasawa na siya sa kin & yet he still loves me?

i tried asking for a cool off pero ayaw niya.

he wud just say, "i didnt mean to hurt you and ayoko mawala ka. please help me get through this."

but everytime the "situation" arises and some peers would invite him to a "night" out, he'd simply give in.

ano ba yun? dapat ko ba tanggapin na ganun na siya and let him be? or does he really mean it when he says he wanted to change?

im confused.

[bundatbundat]

If I was a girl dating a cheater guy... I'd give him a second chance.

Or more, depending on the circumstances of the relationship.

 

But as me now, a guy dating a girl, if she cheats on me, I don't think I'll give her a second chance.

No, I definitely wouldn't give her a second chance.

 

Because guys are easily tempted physically.

Even the most loyal guys out there would get an urge to look when a hot girl in skimpy clothing passes by.

Most wouldn't do anything about it, but when a hot girl is right up in your face, breathing onto your mouth, with her boobs right in front of you, legs touching yours, her soft ass sitting on your lap... even if she is a stranger, as long as she has relatively some level of hotness, it is VERY hard to resist.

I can't blame someone who ends up cheating when put into circumstances beyond his control.

 

While as for girls, it's a completely different ballgame.

While some like "hot guys" with 6-pack abs, they aren't exactly ones to be completely aroused just visually.

And while physical contact with them works wonders for arousal, it depends also on their mindset.

 

A girl with slight interest will easily be aroused by touches with escalating sexual tension, but someone with only loyalty in mind will usually shy away immediately, feel awkward, annoyed, and at extremes even disgusted.

Whilst guys can't help but be aroused by female touch no matter how much they mentally resist.

 

So basically... a guy can easily end up cheating if he is cornered by a hot girl, but a girl will not do so unless she is mentally perceptive to flirting attempts (i.e. malandi or nagpapalandi)

And that's much harder to forgive, since it shows that she allowed it to happen.

(the guy did so to, but he really has no easy way out short of punching the girl, or using other means of brute force)

[13thwitch]

i don't think it's a matter of "should i cheat or should i not cheat?"

 

if the guy is really into you, the world just crumbles, no matter what.

 

but if ur just a sport and a security to cling on, or someone that answers a

certain need..then expect him to scour other places to meet people to

answer other needs you cannot address.

 

it all boils down to choices...a personal one, regardless of the reasons behind it.

 

kung gusto, may paraan, kung ayaw, may dahilan.

[mhailea]

stay!

[Gorgeous_BBW]

stay pero di ako magsasalita ipapakita ko sa kanyang manlalamig ako para ma miss nya ang dating ako at marealize nya ginawa nya...

[Pantasya]

Depends actually. Before I had this idealistic view about love, but something happened that made me realize no body is really perfect. Here's the thing: If you know that you yourself won't cheat, either through thoughts or worse, in action, you have the right not to give your partner a second chance. My stand is: at one point in our lives, there will be questions asked, and there are things we can't avoid, but we do have choices. First question: Do we give in or not? Second: Is the relationship worth keeping? Ponder on that then maybe you can decide whether to forgive and forget or not.

[guyed]

Depends actually. Before I had this idealistic view about love, but something happened that made me realize no body is really perfect. Here's the thing: If you know that you yourself won't cheat, either through thoughts or worse, in action, you have the right not to give your partner a second chance. My stand is: at one point in our lives, there will be questions asked, and there are things we can't avoid, but we do have choices. First question: Do we give in or not? Second: Is the relationship worth keeping? Ponder on that then maybe you can decide whether to forgive and forget or not.

 

 

Very well said, Ma'm.

 

If you think that the relationship is worth keeping, who are we not to forgive and give it a second chance...love is sweeter the second time around.

[youknowme]

Depends actually. Before I had this idealistic view about love, but something happened that made me realize no body is really perfect. Here's the thing: If you know that you yourself won't cheat, either through thoughts or worse, in action, you have the right not to give your partner a second chance. My stand is: at one point in our lives, there will be questions asked, and there are things we can't avoid, but we do have choices. First question: Do we give in or not? Second: Is the relationship worth keeping? Ponder on that then maybe you can decide whether to forgive and forget or not.

 

 

good point... just make sure yung bibigyan niyo ng second chance, eh karapatdapat...

[guyed]

good point... just make sure yung bibigyan niyo ng second chance, eh karapatdapat...

 

Well, giving a second chance is like gambling....you'll never know if she/he will change.

 

Whats good in there is that you gave her/him a second chance...kung magbabago sya, bahala sya. kung hindi, problema nya na yun....at least, wala syang maisusumbat sa'yo. at wala syang iban masasabi kubg bakit mo na sya ipinagpalit.

[malthus]

people who live in glass houses shouldnt be throwing stones. so yup, i'd forgive her.

[kav2001c]

No

 

Cheater never changes

[autobot15]

hiwalay kagad. waala nang pali-paliwanag.

[nashty]

hi! im actually a female. i jst indicated that im a male bcoz ive been posting some messages which are supposed to be directed to all males. u know, men wouldn't take advices from a female seriously right?

 

ur response caught my attention. i have a boyfriend for seven years. he loves me alright.

but lately, a different side of him surfaces.. nhihilig sya mag men's KTV. everytime i would find out, he apologizes. he used to tell me that he's not that kind of person really.. that it was just a bad indiscretion.

he did it thrice this year.

i know what ur saying.. "there is nothing wrong with that." yes, i know.

but that doesn't go for us, i gues.

let me say, he hadn't been true to me about that other side of him.

its not like i wont let him be his true person.

but the problm is, i was misled. all these years..

how do i deal with this?

in bed, i'd say, he's very satisfied with me. im pretty sure about that.

i just cant stand that he lied to me about his true self.

in a man's point of view, could it be na nagsasawa na siya sa kin & yet he still loves me?

i tried asking for a cool off pero ayaw niya.

he wud just say, "i didnt mean to hurt you and ayoko mawala ka. please help me get through this."

but everytime the "situation" arises and some peers would invite him to a "night" out, he'd simply give in.

ano ba yun? dapat ko ba tanggapin na ganun na siya and let him be? or does he really mean it when he says he wanted to change?

im confused.

I guess he wasn't able to show that side of him at the start.. i mean when you guys are still on the getting to know each other stage. that way, nahihirapan na siya ipakita kasi he knows that you're not used to see him like that.

 

ganito rin ako sa mahal ko. she knows a little bit and she knows na im a flirt but she doesn't know that i've been to bed with some ladies. for me, i rather not say it dahil baka lumaki pa yung problema-- even though the girl is already giving me a chance sabihin lahat. it makes thing simpler (but in reality, more complicated).

[lovejones]

If I was a girl dating a cheater guy... I'd give him a second chance.

Or more, depending on the circumstances of the relationship.

 

But as me now, a guy dating a girl, if she cheats on me, I don't think I'll give her a second chance.

No, I definitely wouldn't give her a second chance.

 

Because guys are easily tempted physically.

Even the most loyal guys out there would get an urge to look when a hot girl in skimpy clothing passes by.

Most wouldn't do anything about it, but when a hot girl is right up in your face, breathing onto your mouth, with her boobs right in front of you, legs touching yours, her soft ass sitting on your lap... even if she is a stranger, as long as she has relatively some level of hotness, it is VERY hard to resist.

I can't blame someone who ends up cheating when put into circumstances beyond his control.

 

While as for girls, it's a completely different ballgame.

While some like "hot guys" with 6-pack abs, they aren't exactly ones to be completely aroused just visually.

And while physical contact with them works wonders for arousal, it depends also on their mindset.

 

A girl with slight interest will easily be aroused by touches with escalating sexual tension, but someone with only loyalty in mind will usually shy away immediately, feel awkward, annoyed, and at extremes even disgusted.

Whilst guys can't help but be aroused by female touch no matter how much they mentally resist.

 

So basically... a guy can easily end up cheating if he is cornered by a hot girl, but a girl will not do so unless she is mentally perceptive to flirting attempts (i.e. malandi or nagpapalandi)

And that's much harder to forgive, since it shows that she allowed it to happen.

(the guy did so to, but he really has no easy way out short of punching the girl, or using other means of brute force)

 

 

I understand where you're coming from man and I know that men's minds are wired differently from women's. However, this kind of reasoning reeks too much of old school discrimination, much akin to those perpetuated by Taliban-like societies in the arab world.

 

Ang sa akin lang, when it comes to indiscretion, women and men should be treated equally and both should have the right to be forgiven. Women, like us hombres, also live stressful and problem-filled lives. Some are unsatisfied at work, some are too burdened by family duties, some are not getting enough love and attention from their partners, some want to feel beautiful and wanted again, while some are just looking for an adventure to escape from their boring lives.

 

Tit for tat lang. If yung girl nagkamali, she should be given the opportunity to reform if she still wants to hold on to the relationship with her partner, lalu't lalu na kung may anak na sila . This is easier said than done, of course, lalu na kung yung lalake ang faithful - parang ang hirap tanggalin sa utak yung image of your girl being humped by another guy.

 

Let time heal all wounds. Kung ayaw pa rin, then I guess the relationship wasn't special enough to hold on to with dear life.

Edited December 29, 2008 by lovejones

[lovejones]

Oh yeah, I completely forgot something...a cheater should only be forgiven once. Kung repeater yun, gaguhan na yan

[khoimeni]

"ganito rin ako sa mahal ko. she knows a little bit and she knows na im a flirt but she doesn't know that i've been to bed with some ladies. for me, i rather not say it dahil baka lumaki pa yung problema-- even though the girl is already giving me a chance sabihin lahat. it makes thing simpler (but in reality, more complicated)."nashty

 

i encountered the same situation in my present rel, i forgave the girl because i love her that much.. it happend 6 years ago when the rel was just starting.. i cried buckets and wash clothes ng paulit ulit in 3 nights... hndi ko na namalyan 6 years na pala nakalipas but each day na kasama sya pinapakita nya na mahal nya ako at hindi na nya kayang mawala ako... she knows everything about me, or atleast she thinks that she knows me, but she doesnt know that i've benn to bed with other girls sa 6 years na yan..

i totally agree with nashty, i would rather keep it to myself para hindi na lumaki ang problema kahit na sabihin pa nya na she would forgive me... itatago ko na lang para hindi sya masaktan, masyado ko syang mahal para saktan ko sya ng ganito... im not proud of what im doing, but lets face it guys, men are polygamous by nature, its a fact, although mayron talagang exception,dumarating lang talaga sa buhay ng isang lalaki na naghahanap ng iba pero cguru ang pagkakaiba ko lang i know where my heart belongs..

Edited December 30, 2008 by khoimeni

[Guest takenbyjo]

This is my take on this.

 

I used to be with someone for 4 years and he cheated on the 3rd year. I forgave but he cheated again. I bailed out.

 

I'm with someone else now and I caught him cheating. His take is that nothing happened so he didn't cheat. My take is that the mere attempt of getting someone in bed with you or even just flirting is cheating. I am giving him another chance. A last chance. If he cheats again, that's it. Wala ng palipaliwanag pa.

 

At the end of the day, I may have looked like a fool but I gave it my all. I will have nothing to regret. I loved, I was fooled, I will survive. Sya, pag niloko nya ako ulit, he will never find another love like mine. Pag nagmahal kasi ako, sobra. Pero pag umayaw na ako talaga, kahit gano ko pa kamahal, kahit masaktan pa ako ng sobra sobra, ayaw ko na. Matututunan ko ring ndi sya mahalin.

[connection]

no second chance

[Mike Chester]

hi! im actually a female. i jst indicated that im a male bcoz ive been posting some messages which are supposed to be directed to all males. u know, men wouldn't take advices from a female seriously right?

 

ur response caught my attention. i have a boyfriend for seven years. he loves me alright.

but lately, a different side of him surfaces.. nhihilig sya mag men's KTV. everytime i would find out, he apologizes. he used to tell me that he's not that kind of person really.. that it was just a bad indiscretion.

he did it thrice this year.

i know what ur saying.. "there is nothing wrong with that." yes, i know.

but that doesn't go for us, i gues.

let me say, he hadn't been true to me about that other side of him.

its not like i wont let him be his true person.

but the problm is, i was misled. all these years..

how do i deal with this?

in bed, i'd say, he's very satisfied with me. im pretty sure about that.

i just cant stand that he lied to me about his true self.

in a man's point of view, could it be na nagsasawa na siya sa kin & yet he still loves me?

i tried asking for a cool off pero ayaw niya.

he wud just say, "i didnt mean to hurt you and ayoko mawala ka. please help me get through this."

but everytime the "situation" arises and some peers would invite him to a "night" out, he'd simply give in.

ano ba yun? dapat ko ba tanggapin na ganun na siya and let him be? or does he really mean it when he says he wanted to change?

im confused.

 

I didn't get well what's the problem with your boyfriend, are you saying he is a gay? or he's going out with his male friends to look for other "women"?

[queenamidala1972]

hiwalay agad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[peterparker]

hmm, this is a tough one..

 

okay, okay i know this sounds cliche but here goes..

 

everybody makes mistakes, we are but human.. :hypocritesmiley:

 

if it`s the first offense, you can let it pass.. but not without a warning..

 

subsequent transgressions will be.. fatal! hehe..

 

 

 

:mtc:

[Admirer40]

my input.. its not bad to give 2nd chance as long as you see sincerity kahit naman ikaw makagawa you would like a second chance hindi naman lahat ng tao once maumpog na at makita ung pwedeng mawala sa kanya eh uulit pa sa kamalian na nagawa nya. depende talaga sa tao pero ang mahalaga you gave the person a chance na magbago. we all need a second chance sometimes..