Lian Posted October 15, 2003 Share Posted October 15, 2003 HOW WOULD YOU STAY AWAY FROM SOMEONE YOU LOVE SO MUCH? IF... ...YOU'RE ALREADY MARRIED ... YOU HAVE KIDS ... AND YOU DONT WANT TO HURT HER ... AND SHE/HE IS YOUR FRIEND'S BF/GF ... AND SHE/HE LOVES YOU SO MUCH Quote Link to comment
Guest ginny Posted October 15, 2003 Share Posted October 15, 2003 If you really love her as you have claimed, you would know how... true love is not selfish.. Just think that you cannot offer her anything.. so give her a break and set her free.. surely, you will hurt her.. pero ganun din naman eh, if in case your wife finds out, iiwan mo rin naman sha di ba.. mas masakit pa kse mas magiging malalim na ang pinagsamahan nyo.. or worst, gusto mo bang masira ang pamilya mo? Mashadong maraming masasaktan. So, do think about it okey? Goodluck! Quote Link to comment
Lian Posted October 15, 2003 Author Share Posted October 15, 2003 If you really love her as you have claimed, you would know how... true love is not selfish.. Just think that you cannot offer her anything.. so give her a break and set her free.. surely, you will hurt her.. pero ganun din naman eh, if in case your wife finds out, iiwan mo rin naman sha di ba.. mas masakit pa kse mas magiging malalim na ang pinagsamahan nyo.. or worst, gusto mo bang masira ang pamilya mo? Mashadong maraming masasaktan. So, do think about it okey? Goodluck! thanks ginny! i've tried already... twice na nga... both times... she ends up in a hospital... nag-try magpakamatay... yeah i know.. i'm in a lose-lose situation right now.. ayokong masira family ko...pero ayoko rin namang may mangyari sa kanya na ako ang dahilan Quote Link to comment
Switlass Posted October 15, 2003 Share Posted October 15, 2003 um....divorce was brought up for what purpose again? No, I am not pro divorce. I just don't understand why you have to stay away if you were lucky enough to be loved back by somebody you truly love.Ok, so you have complications. I am confused about this. Very Much.If i put myself in the wife's shoes, I would want the woman to die a terrible death for even thinking about taking what's mine. Of course, i would also want my husband to be loyal to me... but if he has to ask about how he can stay away from someone..then I no longer can call him mine.. right? If i put myself in the other woman's shoes, as long as I feel happy, for as long as I am ok with the "situation" and understand all the rules, then I wouldn't want him to stay away from me... Future or no future. My Life. I decide how I want to live it. If I want to live it as a man's other woman, so be it. If i am to play the role of the kid, I would keep my mouth shut. My parents deserve to be happy, and even though it's noble to want to stay together to give me a good future.. It's not going to work. Individually, they deserve to be happy, if my father would be happier with another woman, so be it. I'm sure my mother won't be happy even if he stays with us if she knows in her heart that the only reason why he's staying is to "Keep the family together". Lastly, if i am to play the role of the husband.. it's a matter of who is more valuable. Priorities. Do I love her as much as my wife? Is this just a passing thing? Will i tire of her soon? Will my wife ever forgive me? can i forgive myself if my wife can't? Quote Link to comment
Switlass Posted October 15, 2003 Share Posted October 15, 2003 (edited) thanks ginny! i've tried already... twice na nga... both times... she ends up in a hospital... nag-try magpakamatay... yeah i know.. i'm in a lose-lose situation right now.. ayokong masira family ko...pero ayoko rin namang may mangyari sa kanya na ako ang dahilan How long have you been seeing each other nga pala? I read somewhere that suicide attempts are made by people who know that it is an effective way of getting what they want. Edited October 15, 2003 by swit_lass Quote Link to comment
Lian Posted October 15, 2003 Author Share Posted October 15, 2003 um....divorce was brought up for what purpose again? No, I am not pro divorce. I just don't understand why you have to stay away if you were lucky enough to be loved back by somebody you truly love.Ok, so you have complications. I am confused about this. Very Much.If i put myself in the wife's shoes, I would want the woman to die a terrible death for even thinking about taking what's mine. Of course, i would also want my husband to be loyal to me... but if he has to ask about how he can stay away from someone..then I no longer can call him mine.. right? If i put myself in the other woman's shoes, as long as I feel happy, for as long as I am ok with the "situation" and understand all the rules, then I wouldn't want him to stay away from me... Future or no future. My Life. I decide how I want to live it. If I want to live it as a man's other woman, so be it. If i am to play the role of the kid, I would keep my mouth shut. My parents deserve to be happy, and even though it's noble to want to stay together to give me a good future.. It's not going to work. Individually, they deserve to be happy, if my father would be happier with another woman, so be it. I'm sure my mother won't be happy even if he stays with us if she knows in her heart that the only reason why he's staying is to "Keep the family together". Lastly, if i am to play the role of the husband.. it's a matter of who is more valuable. Priorities. Do I love her as much as my wife? Is this just a passing thing? Will i tire of her soon? Will my wife ever forgive me? can i forgive myself if my wife can't? nice one, swit! I hope everybody could be as open-minded as you are! Quote Link to comment
Switlass Posted October 15, 2003 Share Posted October 15, 2003 thanks... I think. Given a choice though, I'd want to stay with my husband for as long as we love each other.. and when I go into marriage, it will be a lasting thing. Should he fall inlove with somebody else, Sorry sya. No divorce for me. 1 Quote Link to comment
Guest ginny Posted October 15, 2003 Share Posted October 15, 2003 If i am to play the role of the kid, I would keep my mouth shut. My parents deserve to be happy, and even though it's noble to want to stay together to give me a good future.. It's not going to work. Individually, they deserve to be happy, if my father would be happier with another woman, so be it. I'm sure my mother won't be happy even if he stays with us if she knows in her heart that the only reason why he's staying is to "Keep the family together". Just wanna comment on this.. kids are just kids.. the way they would think depends on the level of their maturity. I've read so many cases wherein kids who came from a broken family got hooked on drugs, didn't finished school or married early.. I don't know really what's the effect on them but what I know.. based from statistics.. kids from a broken family don't grow up normally... if I were a parent.. I dont think I would like to risk on that.. I mean, risk the future of my kids.. surely, I love them more than myself. Nweis, lian.. I just have one question for you.. do you still love your wife? From your reply to my post.. seemed that you really wanna let go of this girl just that she doesnt want to... so ibig sabihin, you already chose your family over her.. hmm.. siguro just be a friend to her na lang muna.. be there for her.. pero wag na kayo maging intimate. Make her realize na marami pang ibang lalake na mas higit sa yo. What do you think? Quote Link to comment
vogharth Posted October 15, 2003 Share Posted October 15, 2003 thanks ginny! i've tried already... twice na nga... both times... she ends up in a hospital... nag-try magpakamatay... yeah i know.. i'm in a lose-lose situation right now.. ayokong masira family ko...pero ayoko rin namang may mangyari sa kanya na ako ang dahilan you just have to be tougher dude... i know that would hurt, but you just have to do what you have to do... goodluck... Quote Link to comment
Lian Posted October 15, 2003 Author Share Posted October 15, 2003 How long have you been seeing each other nga pala? I read somewhere that suicide attempts are made by people who know that it is an effective way of getting what they want. i've been seeing her for almost a year already... pero she's my gf long before i got married... naghiwalay lang kami 'cause nagpatuloy sya ng studies nya sa US... and i had to work abroad.Nawalan kami ng communication. I think she got it (suicide thing) from being the only girl in their family... she have 5 brothers.. and she's the youngest.... lahat ng gusto nya nasusunod... Quote Link to comment
Lian Posted October 15, 2003 Author Share Posted October 15, 2003 you just have to be tougher dude... i know that would hurt, but you just have to do what you have to do... goodluck... I thought i was tough... so many times i've convinced myself to leave her... ...but as an assh*le that i am.... i started to soften once i see her crying already... ... and at one time, lumuhod pa sa harap ko ..damn! Quote Link to comment
Guest BB Posted October 15, 2003 Share Posted October 15, 2003 remember this, dude. we are only responsible for ourselves and for our own actions. sounds cold but that's the way it is. i know it's easy to say and hard to do, but ultimately, everyone's fate is under their own control. the threat of suicide is emotional blackmail, just like crying and all sorts of other s**t, some people pull. suck it up and do the right thing - you already know what you're supposed to do - quit procrastinating and just do it. Quote Link to comment
Misteriosa Posted October 15, 2003 Share Posted October 15, 2003 hmmm... tough questions different scenarios but it would only lead to one thing....... how to stay away from the so-called "sinful" feeling..... it's a matter of choice and will...... there are some things that we do not because we want to do it but because it's the right thing to do.... it may not be based on norms but primarily on our own standards.... oh well.. it's still easier said than done.... i guess ill just cross the bridge when i get there.... errrrrr actually im approaching that bridge already.... darn Quote Link to comment
Lian Posted October 15, 2003 Author Share Posted October 15, 2003 Nweis, lian.. I just have one question for you.. do you still love your wife? From your reply to my post.. seemed that you really wanna let go of this girl just that she doesnt want to... so ibig sabihin, you already chose your family over her.. hmm.. siguro just be a friend to her na lang muna.. be there for her.. pero wag na kayo maging intimate. Make her realize na marami pang ibang lalake na mas higit sa yo. What do you think?[/color] know what?? i haven't exactly lost my love to my wife.... and yes you're right... i've decided to let go of her na, in favor of my family... pero getting it done is a completely different and difficult thing to do may bf nga sya e.. mas guapo sa akin.. succesful sa career(surgeon sa 1 hospital s Oklahoma)..mabait.. at may prinsipyo... i know... kse he's my friend an'sama ko talaga 'no? Too much love will k*ll you If you can't make up your mind Torn between the lover and the love you leave behind You're headed for disaster because you never read the signs Too much love will k*ll you, every time I'm just the shadow of the man I used to be And it seems like there's no way out of this for me I used to bring you sunshine Now all I ever do is bring you down How would it be if you were standing in my shoes Can't you see it's impossible to choose No there's no making sense of it Every way I go I have to lose Oh too much love will k*ll you Just as sure as none at all It'll drain the power that's in you Make you plead and scream and crawl And the pain will make you crazy You're the victim of your crime Too much love will k*ll you, every time Too much love will k*ll you It'll make your life a lie Yes too much love will k*ll you And you won't understand why You'd give your life you'd sell your soul But here it comes again Too much love will k*ll you In the end Quote Link to comment
Switlass Posted October 15, 2003 Share Posted October 15, 2003 based from statistics.. kids from a broken family don't grow up normally... if I were a parent.. I dont think I would like to risk on that.. I mean, risk the future of my kids.. surely, I love them more than myself. I don't have any study to back me up on this, but from what I have observed, a child's future still depends on his way of life. There are kids who will really suffer, while there are kids who will only use the separation as an excuse to be ... "a special" case. either it truly depresses them or just gives them a reason to become a "problem" .. I think I'd have to agree with you on this Ginny. I wouldn't want to do anything that would hurt my children's future. hmmm... maybe we should start a thread for that.. I thought i was tough... so many times i've convinced myself to leave her.....but as an assh*le that i am.... i started to soften once i see her crying already..... and at one time, lumuhod pa sa harap ko .damn! Noble.. but what do you get from her? i thought guys want to be proud of their women.. How can you be proud of someone who has lost her own self respect? I know about puting aside pride but self respect?? I don't mean to judge.. but maybe she's just using all those antics because she knows that those thinsg will get you... I think she got it (suicide thing) from being the only girl in their family... she have 5 brothers.. and she's the youngest.... lahat ng gusto nya nasusunod... this can't be the reason. I know of other people who are used to getting what they want.. and they wouldn't consider suicide nor throwing away self respect.. well. whatever happens, Good Luck. Be strong for your family Quote Link to comment
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