chiquezee Posted May 8, 2007 Share Posted May 8, 2007 F - I didn't mean to hurt you. Sometimes technology robs the emotion from well meaning replies. The message is clear, though. I have gone so far away, that to return is impossible. I cannot find my way anymore. Or maybe, I do not want to find my way back anymore. As I was settled in my seat a few miles above sea level, as the pressure temporarily deafened my ears, an image of your face came to mind. I didn't brush it away. I allowed it to stay and I tried to invite other images to join it. And like my presentations in mac's keynote, it transitioned from grid to grid. But there was no oomph... No animation effects, no lights, no textures, no volume, no magic. There was nothing. Like photos in sepia, they have aged with time. Old. Bland. Flat. What remained, unfortunately, was the bitterness of betrayal. That is so real until now. To forgive does not mean to forget. Experts would say that to even allow you to continue to be a friend is madness. But here I am, not turning my back on you, but I'm not going any nearer. If you do not want to communicate with me anymore, that is your choice. I have lost any sentiment towards you to feel anything about how you react or do not react to me. No, I am not unfeeling. You of all, should know that. I cannot deny that there are moments of unexplainable weakness when my eyes get damp when I recall the events that shook my make-believe world of candy-walls and choco-fountains, glittering windows and gold-plated tiles. But not when I recall you. I have finally reached that point where I realize that how your life turns out is no longer my business. I have done more than enough, all those years. Far more. If anything, you have left your mark on me. I am having a difficult time trusting even those I want to trust. I have developed an automated self-protecting system that sounds an alarm when even a slight hint of doubt creeps in. Iron bars wheel out and cage me in. No body can come near me. Most of all, not you. - me p.s. When you are trans-posted in this very country where I am in now, I hope you find what you're looking for. You will still be in my prayers. That is the most I can do. Quote Link to comment
sha79 Posted May 8, 2007 Share Posted May 8, 2007 youre just telling me a lot of things..things that wont come true.You're just making me to believe of ur kindness...let me go. Quote Link to comment
KristinLavransdatr Posted May 8, 2007 Share Posted May 8, 2007 (edited) d, i did something bad today. i made a curious experiment on someone who didn't know it was an experiement. you know -- the dress, the heels, the hair, the trying-to-be-dumb-but-couldn't attitude, the hem that moved up when i turned this way and that, the compliments, the attention... his talk of secret fantasies came alive to a captive me, because he thought i was naive and could be talked into sinning or into an afternoon delight. but it was orgasmic seeing him wanting it but couldn't have it. wouldn't dare talk about it. the eyes that dared him to say a word, the same eyes that warned him not. were mine. he seemed to have been too used to one type. but he should have prepared for something different. tsk! i'm sorry. i won't do it again. h Edited May 9, 2007 by KristinLavransdatr Quote Link to comment
extrarice3 Posted May 8, 2007 Share Posted May 8, 2007 I LOVE YOU Who, with hopeful eyes and a steady hand, Inscribed these three words on the sands Who, still holding to tender hope, Adorned the words with soft-colored shells Finally, there must have been a sad hearted boy Who set down coral sticks and rounded them with white pebblesSo that whoever passes by Is stained with nameless musing. Quote Link to comment
extrarice3 Posted May 9, 2007 Share Posted May 9, 2007 Kayo, Mangingialam na naman kayo sa eleksyon namin? Kami. Quote Link to comment
sweetie Posted May 9, 2007 Share Posted May 9, 2007 aba aba aba.. anu yang nababalitaan ko sa yo.. ikaw ah.. Quote Link to comment
chiquezee Posted May 9, 2007 Share Posted May 9, 2007 For you. I'm very surethis never happened to me beforeI met you and now I'm sureThis never happened beforeNow I seethis is the way it's supposed to beI met you and now I see,this is the way it should beThis is the way it should befor loversThey shouldn't go it aloneIts not so good when you're on your ownSo come to me,Now we can be what we want to beI love youand now I seeThis is the way it should be. This is the way it should be for lovers. Quote Link to comment
naked_angel Posted May 9, 2007 Share Posted May 9, 2007 dear you who-cause-me-heartaches-and-nightmares: this is the only time i will thank you and your minions. you have given me the chance to get to know discover some things.for a moment there you made me smile and tell myself, yeah it was fun. and worth everything and it seemed right at that time. i still think it is right. but the gods think otherwise.for a moment there, you've managed to transform the word 'love' into areality. my reality.so thanks to you. for the memories, time, chance, relationships built,relationships shattered, relationships in limbo, friendships formed and destroyed.confirmations, affirmations, shallow people, loving ones...and for the gift of that someone, who, in spite of the touch and go show of feelings, seem to want to stick around. to the other you: we could all have gotten along very well. but you never gave it a chance.but come to think of it, if not for you, things wouldn't have happened. you gave everything a pushand here we are now. and finally you: i wish i could say i believe you now like i believed you then. you see i believe the wind exists because i feel it even though i don't see it. let's just say make me feel and let me see, then i'll believe...not that it matters to you, i guess. there are others out there, right? there. happy thoughts everyone. god knows we all deserve to have a bit of them everyday. me Quote Link to comment
simon b Posted May 9, 2007 Share Posted May 9, 2007 masarap na kapedi inasukalanmagandang mukhaansarap tingnan nakakatulalaat nakakaaliwkundi mag-iingatbaka mabaliw... Quote Link to comment
chipmaker Posted May 9, 2007 Share Posted May 9, 2007 (edited) hey you, remember this song... Want to but I can't help it I love the way you feel just kinda stuck between my fantasy and what is real I needed when I want it I want it when I don't tell myself I stop every day knowing that I won't I got a problem and I don't know what to do about it even If I did I don't know If I would quit but I doubt it I’m taking by the thought of it And I know this much is true [chorus] baby you have become my addiction I’m so strung out on you I can barely move but I like it and it's all because of you all because of you and it's all because of you all because of you and it's all because of you all because of you and it's all because of you never get enough she’s the sweetest drugs think of it every second I can get nothing done only concern is the next time I’m gon get me some know I should stay away from cause its no good for me I try and try but my obsession wont let me leave I got a problem and I don't know what to do about it even If I did I don't know If I would quit but I doubt it I’m taking by the thought of it And I know this much is true [chorus]baby you have become my addiction I am so strung out on you I can barely move but I like it and it's all because of you all because of you and it's all because of you all because of you and it's all because of you all because of you and it's all because of you never get enough she is so sweet as drugs ain't no doubt so strung out ain't no doubt so strung out over you over you because of you and it's all because of you never get enough she is so sweet as drugs i love the way you move, baby. Edited May 9, 2007 by chipmaker Quote Link to comment
preacher Posted May 10, 2007 Share Posted May 10, 2007 As I was walking to the mall yesterday afternoon, I suddenly felt the familiar flirtations of the rain. Like it was right on cue, I got to read your first message in God knows how long right before the rain touched me again. It's a bitter sweet sensation mixed with the smell of the ground. It was filling my head with vapors coming up from the earth. It was intoxicating. It was erotic. It was depressing. Having known of what pleasures we could gain yet could not find the venue to exchange the carnal knowledge we have held back for so long. It was agony. It still is. Man has always reached farther than they can grasp. This will always be our bane. I imagine you playfully writhing under the sheets in all your naked glory, while I slide in and enjoy every crevice you have to offer. This may be all folly. But it will be my folly till we can remedy the situation. Until then, I wait under the heavens. For the rain. For you. It doesn't matter which will come first. I'll be gratefull with what I can get. Quote Link to comment
chiquezee Posted May 10, 2007 Share Posted May 10, 2007 I am swallowing my words. I might choke, but that's what I get for the obnoxiousness.Ok, so I admit, I don't do very well as a figment of any one's imagination. I try, though. I have been attempting to drift in and out unnoticed. Like a mirage in an oasis. I've been trying to, really, not just for your sake but for the others'. Unfortunately, I'm not succeeding very well. I apparently take form, without my wanting to. Inevitable consequence of having substantiated an existence. But so all is fair, the attempt to be merely an imagination remains. Don't believe everything you set your eyes on. For all you know, there may be something far more beautiful in the withheld reality. Far more. Quote Link to comment
facialfrankie Posted May 10, 2007 Share Posted May 10, 2007 it's unavoidable. highly predictable. i'm a sucker for damsels in undress. i mean, distress. and so i dash into the dark, riding my bike to banish her dragons. yes, pitiful and pathetic. me. not her. unappreciated and avoided, yet still at it. Quote Link to comment
chiquezee Posted May 11, 2007 Share Posted May 11, 2007 Operational words: snug fitdivine dawnno complaintsacross bordersgoing home ... mine... yours And when words will not suffice, just hum. Hmm hmm hmm hmm. Humhmm humm hmmm.That's the cure. Sure hit. Do I really have to sing it out loud? You know. You know. So we stop the world. - C Quote Link to comment
chiquezee Posted May 11, 2007 Share Posted May 11, 2007 (edited) Dear M, If I knew how to get in touch with you, I would have. I'm sinking. For the life of me, I need an anchor. The tangible type of rusted but trusted heavy tons of iron and steel. Thoughts want to spew out of me like fire that engulfs forests. I'm in danger zone. And I ain't even moving an inch. Trouble gravitates towards me. Still, I ain't budging. I am paralyzed by my attitude of resignation. I think to myself, let them come, after all wherever I go, they will come. I'll handle these. I'll take care of these. I'll get out with a couple of bruises, sure, but I'll come out alive. Thus, here I am. I'm sinking with the heavy burden of choice that I didn't have to choose for myself. In this world, it can never be that other people's choices will affect them alone. There will always be somebody who will be swinging along, even unintentionally. That's how it goes. Matter of relativity. In my case, I put myself where I am. No one to take the blame save for me. Thing is I knew it was gonna get to this point. I was told that before the rains come, it will have to cease. I never acknowledged that articulated thought. But it loomed above me like a menacing shadow that followed me especially during the brightest days. Now the rain clouds are floating by, taking their positions in my sky... Reality check, sis. I can't avoid the truth that I allowed it. I wanted what apparently I couldn't have. And it yielded, to my surprise. Everything else is happiness, afterwards. And this. Cruel. In my mind, I know that everything was temporary. It was never both parties' intention to forge alliances. But humanity took over. And now, I suffer. Both, actually. Or so it was claimed, and I see no reason to doubt the claim. In my mind, I know I don't deserve another season of snow and hale. But it has been autumn in my forest and the flakes shall come soon... I will freeze... to my death. All else will be for naught. That appears to be my fate. I wanna say I'll wait. But it was not asked of me. But deep inside I know I shall wait, until the end of my hundred years of solitude beckons me home. Haven't I not given up so much already? Why take this away from me?That which was said to be mine... - C p.s. If we end up together, the nation shall be the one, I shall be the other.(Maybe it shall be the case on my side too, but I am a woman, and I can do a trapeze act.) Edited May 11, 2007 by chiquezee Quote Link to comment
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