The Mail Box

[Guest foxtrotbravo]

Does anyone in this thread need a psychiatrist? I can recommend a good one. PM me. Im serious.

[iwalkalone]

pasensya na po...di ko kasalanang maging maganda...nanay mo na lang asarin mo....gusto mo sapakin mo pa....dapat kase nagpalahi man lang sya sa tisoy eh....waaaaah....waaag ako pag initan mooooh! :cry:

[kadafy]

you told me i wasn't man enough to make a stand. if what you mean is my incapacity to tell wether is it the chicken or the egg, then i guess, indeed i am.

 

or maybe i already took the chicken's side.

yeah.

chicken.

i'm the chicken.

 

and i'm sorry i was to chicken to admit. that this chicken can't tell black from white. like dogs, chickens are color blind.

 

sad, isn't it? but that's the truth.

 

if only i can write this to you in plain english...

[tessa215]

hey you,

 

i wish you well and hope you can have the balls to know what you want. you mean a lot to me yet you're too selfish to see that. you are a good man yet you don't know how to let go when it's time.

 

i may not be always be there for you coz it comes to a point that it hurts to much and i feel that you only need me when you have nowhere to run.

 

do you have to lose me to know my importance in your life. i just hope by that time it's not to late for you to see that.

 

again i wish you well and hope you find what you are looking for. coz i know dep down that you just have to look inside yourself to find out what it is.

[teio]

tulad sa isang kanta...

 

huwag kang tumawa... at huwag na huwag kang lumapit... baka ako'y mapalapit sa 'yo... huwag kang ngumiti... at huwag na huwag kang magpakabait...

 

dahil anak ka ng boss ko...

 

AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

 

:boo:

[iwalkalone]

virtual friend BB

 

sana po maging maayos ang pakikipag break mo sa kanya...like i said...a man's got to do what he's gotta do...sometimes we just have to do away with our guilt and conscience...and yeah...be selfish at times...kesa maging miserable ang buhay sa piling ng di naman totoong mahal....the truth will set you both free... sana lang matanggap nya...at wag ka nyang ipa salvage

[StoneRhino]

Dear Heart of Mine,

 

I know that one-forth of you has become bigger that the other 3, and that sometimes you try to let me know by making me feel like a corkscrew's twisting its way into my left chest area.

 

Please be assured that I will do everything I can to make sure that the strain I place upon you and your 3 other companions will be lessened as I will reduce my intake of quarter-pounders and milkshakes. I will also make sure you guys are in shape by waking up early and jogging 20 miles like I used to.

 

Just don't k*ll me while I'm in the prime of my life.

 

kthnxbye.

[Wyld]

 

Kumusta ka na kaya? Wala lang. Nakakamiss ka kasi eh. Siguro nakasanayan ko na lang din na kaparte ka na ng araw ko. Routine baga. Teka, is that good or bad? I wonder.

 

At any rate, di naman yun ang reason bakit kita sinusulatan now eh. Labo nga. Susulatan kita, alam ko naman na hindi mo mababasa. Pero sige lang. Siguro at some point, ipapabasa ko din sa iyo to. Siguro. Ewan natin.

 

Ang hirap ng may tanong na walang sagot no? Parang ... I keep on running over the events of the past days in my head... trying to understand what happened. Siguro nga ang nangyari ay nangyari noong wala ka na dito. Kaya siguro di ko maintindihan. Pero you know me, you know how my mind works... kasi ganyan din ang takbo ng utak mo eh. Iisipin at iisipin ko na may ginawa akong mali. Yan ang malaking fault nating mga Taurus. Kunyari strong-strongan pero we take a lot of things to heart.

 

Anyway. I hope okay ka lang. I hope di mo masyadong dinidibdib ang pagpapaka ermitanyo mo. I know madami kang new challenges at new responsibilities at work - focus on that and harness that to help you resolve whatever it is you need to resolve. I also hope youre working out responsibly and eating on time. Wag ka na kakain ng mga damo damo parati ha. Saka yun mga grains chuva na yan - masama sa kalusugan yan.

 

Ano pa ba. Ah eto. Just something I picked up somewhere. When I read it, I remembered you.

 

No self respecting person moves on undefined.

 

Diba totoo? Sa lahat ng pagdaraanan natin sa buhay - may mababago sa atin. Sana for the better. Sana whatever it is we go through serves to make us stronger people rather than bring us down.

 

Gaya ng sinabi natin the last time we talked... andito lang ako. Andyan ka din lang.

 

Maybe at some point, our paths will converge again... hopefully, under better circumstances.

 

Who knows what tomorrow brings, diba?

 

Stay warm. Forge on.

 

Youre in my thoughts and prayers always.

 

-N

[naked_angel]

crack psychiatrist,

 

"do you really, really, really, like him?"

"does he like you as much as YOU do?"

 

too much koreanovela, man. too much

 

useless, weird nutcase patient,

 

m.a.

[iwalkalone]

Star,

 

That’s enough (2x)

Please…

 

I’ve said this a million times before

And i’m sick

But all that i need

And all that i bleed

And all that i care for

Is you

 

And all that i need

And all that i bleed

And all that i care for

Is you

 

I HATE YOU.

(But I love you)...

and Thank you....

OMG ano vah toh?! :cry:

 

Hawak kamay na nga lang :cry:

:heart: mayatutay

[naked_angel]

you,

 

i'm going away for a while. will most likely be incommunicado.

write me from the secret garden, if you have time.

so you think we have a shot at being friends ?

 

oh and don't worry, one day, she will dance with you.

in the meantime, barry manilow is waiting for me. what better way to spend saturday eh?

 

same tears in the same martini glass. cheers!

 

 

wishing for a time machine,

 

me

 

 

 

no sé si ir o quedar en este momento. a decir verdad, te echo de menos. increíble eh? espero que tu se divierta y que le vaya bien

[sweet vixen]

To you who I shall refer to as Temüjin:

 

You are not yet a Genghis Khan, though I do believe you have the makings of one. I see you conquering far more than lands which have boundaries anyway, becoming more than a political and army leader, uniting tribes and etching your name in history. There is so much potential in you I don't even know why I never gave you an inch of myself. Maybe because your sole duty at this time is to keep an eye on me, and thus, I cannot allow myself to give you an eye at all.

 

I cannot say I owe you anything even if my life pressumably rests on how well you will take a bullet for me. You did teach me how to hold a gun, to aim without missing, to shoot without wincing, but the ability to do it very well was my skill and mine alone. That, you cannot teach me.

 

I humbly admit, though, that you have taught me far more with what you did not intend to teach, the stories you unselfishly shared during moments of idle business.

 

The Infantry Battalions that I joined not just to watch but to share agony with, though their agony will never be truly mine, which is most pathetic come to think of it, will remind me of how you had to go through unnerving obstacles yourself, to get to where you are. And "where" is tailing me where I go, retreating as a shadow, never revealing emotions, never speaking your mind, unless it is requested, or necessary as the moment is a matter of life or death. I pity you but your family takes pride in you. What are my sentiments compared to theirs?

 

Three years of putting up with my extreme swings, graciously accpepting the consequence of my stubborness, attempting to see but not see, straining to hear but forget, ought to give you the motivation to skip martyrdom and pursue heroism instead.

 

I appreciate the loyalty, though it is out of moral duty and conscience than anything.

 

Today, as I feel the extreme and intense pressure, I wished I was in a shooting range, firing off my feverish angst, target the anxieties, get rid of perpetrators of my peace and just get it over with. Then I remembered what you said, to never use it in moments of uncertain control, those moments where something else is taking command, aside from my senses and reason.

 

I do feel you should be reassigned. You deserve far more than what you get out of your dedication to me, or should I say, your assignment. It is not because I do not think I am not worthy of somebody with your calibre, Captain. Its just that the nation can get so much more from you and I feel I am robbing so many of something valuable. It does not feel right.

 

 

We must talk about it really soon. Robins must fly, bats, too.

 

 

I sign this with my own hand.

[sweet vixen]

To you who I shall refer to as Napoleon:

 

Ah, darling, sweetheart, lover of mine of ages long ago. Nobody ever thought that Napoleaon Bonaparte who was well respected for his creative use of artillery tactics in the field he is much of an expert in knew how to compose love letters written with blood, and dripping of sucrouse.

 

It is about time we sit down and talk about what everybody has been talking about, save for us, two. Funny how they openly discuss something that was never a public knowledge until it was over.

 

I feel you deserve the longest communication but I am stumped. Where do I begin, when I do not even know how it ended? May I rumble off thought after thought, instead, since you need no translation to comprehend? A syllable means so much, it always does, and that we both know..

 

Darling of ages forgotten, I can write this in the language often thought of as reserved for sophisticated eroticism but I choose to display the emotions in plain English. It is, shall I say, a reiteration that the French has turned over the liberty and she remains within reach of the apple that Eve holds.

 

Do not think for a while that I am groping for the right things to say. I know what I want to say, but currently requiring some snooze to find out exactly how..........

 

As you have often left me waiting before, it is my turn to hang you by a thread. For now.

 

Not even signing this yet --

[sweet vixen]

The year started to wheel out without me, days turning to a week, leaving me behind for a couple of hours, as I adjust to the fast ticking of time, quicker than I thought it will be. I was catching a nap. I thought I deserved some since I work extremely hard. For the most part, I was engrossed in fulfilling my duties that I forgot to salute the turn of events. Did not even notice the transition until I was correcting myself, erasing the 6, replacing it with the numeral I am fond of most. But that is completely out of sync.

 

Before the pig oinks, I would like to do my share of spring cleaning to attempt to end/start the year right. What best way than to sort things out with the very (in?)significant and (in?)famous Adams that dared share an apple with this Eve? (Yes, fool, it was not an apple. How about a santol, for local flavor?)

 

To you, who I shall refer to as Socrates. Let me begin with you.

 

Even Plato thought you were a contradictory character. For your benefit, I am writing to you through this, so you will not know it is I, and you will not know it is you, though the talent you have may actually make you wonder, ponder and attempt to conclude that it may be you. No, deceive yourself and believe it isn't. For my benefit, I am writing through this so I may freely express my thoughts without limiting myself, which I have often done, and so you will not think I am expertly fabricating geniuses to comply with expectations. I try to please no one except those I want to please. At this point, myself.

 

Dear Socrates,

 

You have served many an army. Perhaps, even more than three campaigns (at Potidaea, Amphipolis, and Delium.) You faced your battles head on, no doubt, likening yourself to soldiers who fight for causes greater than their own breaths. You do not believe in retreating for self-interest, but of moving forward without a thought of ditching, but embracing the ultimate inevitable of spilling blood to fertilize the parched ground. Yet, you think of preservation, a wise act, to say the least, in order for you to philosophise more, conquer more, k*ll more.

 

Your paradoxical wisdom has interestingly crippled me, I who have made a name for myself in the circles I revolve in. I find myself holding my tongue, an act I never thought I will do for any one save for a handful, and at, and only at the most proper time.

 

It is true that I have been holding the real me in reserve, choosing to remain anonymous beyond the basic knowledge of name and those which accompany formal social acknowledgement. It was not intentional, rather instinctical. I can try to explain further and make you understand but that may be unnecessary for you since you will digest it differently until I finally decide to tear the curtains from top to bottom. I shall not wait for an earthquake to part the tomb, that rock will roll on its own.

 

You make me stop right in my tracks, not because I want to turn back and take a different route, nor because I find myself lost and unable to find my way, rather to think and appreciate everything you throw at me; mentally archiving the details, processing on-the-spot, and re-processing at a later time. I try to identify the spirits that govern the thought expressed in a statement, the memories behind a narration, the academics behind the knowledge. The defenses you put up, the walls of refuge, the blind areas, the Achilles’ heel. To my determent, for some part, but for my gain, too, for the rest.

 

Perhaps, I have created an image so unlike me that I will not be surprised if you will sketch one totally different, from the shape, to the parameters, to the depth and texture.

 

What I am surprised about is the deliberate willingness on my part to be conceived as but a fragment, and not as my whole. Maybe I allowed you to think what you want, having given me an idea of the convenience of this humongous error. A great warrior never reveals strategies so I won't, but let me chip off some particles that will be enough to scrutinize under the microscope of your established philosophies.

 

Socrates, my humanity is at its truest form, and my nobility intact, without a question in my mind. I can feign ignorance when I want to to achieve a greater goal of extracting wisdom from others, always consciously segregating, always compartmentalising, aiming to see how much can be extracted, and not reveal the extent of the spoil gathered. I can feign weakness when necessary, to gauge the strength of another, how much is adrenalin, how much is muscles, how much is steroids at work. Not to deceive, no, but to learn, to study, to know, and in so doing, the next moves will be concrete, definite, and the steps, certain. Maybe it is wrong to regard it as strategy for strategy speaks of meticulous planning, whereas these things are mere muscle jerks which I hope to refine as I mature more. I am very young, as you can see.

 

My tortured past is something I have not shared. How do I begin telling without opening Pandora's box? How do I explain the attitude without compromising integrity? How do I describe the essential years without exposing what was intended to be forgotten?

 

My mapped out future is something I have kept to myself. How do I explain prophecies and dreams and visions that have already established the path that I must take, which I will not fail to take for I was born for such a purpose? How do I justify decisions that intellect cannot reach?

 

Socrates, when I am silent, it does not mean I cannot speak, nor ignorant of what is to be uttered. Nor should it be taken as a sign of weakness. It is actually when one begins to listen to others, and to self, that the thinking capabilities work better. Or, in my part, it is may be often times, a confirmation of what I already know which merits some moment of silence as an acknowledgement. My silence is also a pause to appreciate the magnificent realisation I have been trying to prove to myself all these years. And only I will know what that is, but, surely, it is enough to make me hold my tongue and whisper gratitude to whoever can hear between unspoken thoughts.

 

I will not tell you about the extent of the domain that I own and rule. Such revelations are reserved for those who must know, and even then, only at an appointed time.

 

Truth lies beneath the shadows of existence, and it is the job of the one bestowed with it to show the rest how little they really know.

 

So much is left unsaid, still.

 

I sign this with my own hand.

[chiquezee]

Yes, V, I speak to you.

 

My hands are slightly swollen from the hard slap I plastered on your ego. It feels good. I told you I'll posion you, ever so slowly, while you keep coming back for more. I told you I was a couple of steps ahead, positioning myself to a comfortabe lead, watching you wag your tongue as you beat the time to feel the plaster on your chest, with every muscle straining to beat the abyss out of me. Told you you'd fall flat on your face. What I didn't tell you, for even I was not aware, that it will be this soon. Normally, some take a couple of moons yet. You wasted no time and fell in to the bitter snare. You saved me a good couple of tic-tocs. Ahh, such is life for some miserable losers.

 

I infest your waking moments, while you can do nothing but grind your teeth, locked up in the darkest chambers of your unexplored pentagons. Hmm, should I visit you and gaze at your pitiful sight, curled up as a though you have exhausted every place to hide but couldn't think of any but your mother's womb? Nah. I shall spare you the cruelty. You know I can bear to do no such thing. I only whip the chains on those who have chains to try to whip me with, too. To strike a helpless, weaponless gladiator is classic cowardice of which I have none.

 

Now, V, that you have failed the ultimate test, do you dare cross my path again? I shall devour whatever is left of your pathetic, maggot infested soul.

 

No, 18 heads remain. Damn you. You cannot sabotage all my hard work for your personal gain. f#&k you.

 

In a couple of days, iron will be forged as I will stand from a distance to take in all the pleasure of watching silversmiths hammer on anvils, embers sparking, fire igniting. I am satisfied. You, will partake of none.

Edited January 7, 2007 by chiquezee