The Mail Box

[forbidden]

i'll sit and look up at the stars tonight

and stay this way till the dawn

for the day brings no comfort till twilight

hope's in the darkness beyond

 

and while i sit - becoming miniscule

the icy wind comforting

a blanket of numbness shielding my heart

my pain begins its drifting

 

when hazy blue of dawn is gone - i'll sleep

while misery is searching

and through my slumber misery's deceived

wake in the hope twilight brings

 

 

 

I hate this feeling of restlesness. I hate this feeling of being singularly wanting. I'm not in touch. No longer feeling. Numb tonight - numb this morning. Here is the dawn...now to sleep and cheat misery, which rides in on the sunlight - till Friday only.

 

Sometimes in a sea of people, you are still just terribly alone

[forbidden]

the heavens are mean, because all the beauty of the stars are beyond our reach.

 

and it's tremendous power is masked by distractions...

 

...without the sound of the crickets or the breeze shaking up the leaves, or the waves slapping the continent's ass - in absolute total silence - the night sky would be so voilently loud and overwhelming that it would probably knock the sanity out of us if we stared at it too long.

[Anne-Ton]

I thought I was over you,

That's how it all seems.

But I keep going back,

To crush my own dreams.

 

You fed me so many lines,

That weren't even true.

I can't stay away,

I don't know what to do.

 

You broke my heart once,

You broke my heart twice.

I guess it all depended,

On the roll of the dice.

 

I'm scared that I'll be hurt,

Again like before.

I don't think,

I can hurt anymore.

 

I know this is short,

But there's no more to say.

Just to pray and hope,

You'll love me back one day.

[gen_g]

the cold............awakening the senses and the mind...but yet the tired mind and weary heart still goes on...

[Grimace]

 

To Lendell,

 

There will never be darkness because in both of us there's always movement, renewal, surprises. I have never known stagnation. Not even introspection has been a still experience.With you one goes so far away from reality that it is almost necessary to buy a return ticket. I am afraid never to come back here........

 

i love you..

 

[forbidden]

O______,

 

You're probably wondering why I never contacted you these past two weeks you were home. Man, I know we were tight - I don't know - that was then. The last time you came home, it was cool, but then we talked for three hours that night before you left about our plans; the problem was, it was mostly you trying to set me on a definite course with mine. I had no clear idea what the next step would be for me, but I knew where I wanted to be at a certain point in the future. You always had it crystal clear in your head - your five and ten year plans were laid out like measuring tape, each number defined and predictable - first 1, then 2, then 3 and so on and so forth. You were and accountant, and now just finished your MBA - exactly what you had planned back in 1996 when we graduated.

 

I don't know man, there were times I really prayed fro the clarity you have - your choices were simple and so to you, you knew what you had to do. I on the other hand wanted to do so many things. I was given a lot of talent man....talent to create. I didn't want to fill in spreadsheets with GDP data or earnings projections every f**king quarter. God, man, I wanted more to life than just that. I never

 

So last year - was it last year? Yeah, it was last year. We sat in Hotshots and I was telling you what I had realized over the past year. But it was all clear to you already - and you asked me for a defined and predicateble path towards my goal.

 

That's where it all changed, man. That's when I kind of got tired of you evaluating what I wanted to do with my life, and throwing this endless line of questions to make me think about it more. You're important to me - don't think otherwise. We grew up together and we know so much about each other; we've been through a lot together - no secrets man, no secrets.

 

But this time, I just don't want to hear you get all John Maxwell on me.

 

I have my own way of doing things - damn, I'm doing these things already and the goals I set for myself are already visible and nearly within reach. I'll do what I need to do. I just don't want to talk about it right now - not with you anyway. Maybe I'll get in touch with you tonight. You leave tomorrow and I wouldn't want you to go back to California wondering.

[Lipstick]

I'm so tired of living without you.

[moonflower]

give me the strength and the wisdom to understand

 

 

 

set me free. i just loved and is still loving... i just want to give even without receiving. but why does it have to hurt? i just want to do the right thing. why do i find it hard to find it in me to be happy for him?

[forbidden]

the cold............awakening the senses and the mind...but yet the tired mind and weary heart still goes on...

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

 

...for such is our fate as human beings. gen_g, that was close to what I was feeling the other morning.

 

Here's to the cold of the night... :closedeyes:

 

Good Morning!

[smaug]

K

 

 

Dai ko kya na mayo ka sa tbi ko. Mis ko naun Pg gising mo skon, bako lang ako ma late. Si isay na mg tao sakuya ng contact lens? Si isaynamgtint kan eyeglass ko? duwang banggi na mi ulila sa imo, tulong buwan pa na mayo ka, garo nko gadan... uli kna baby ko...

 

J

[Wyld]

 

In every winter's heart, there is a quivering spring. - Kahlil Gibran

 

My heart is numb

It refuses to feel

 

It has gotten tired

Its beating has slowed down

 

It has just about weathered its last storm

Shadows will embrace it and claim it for its own

 

So many times this heart has risked

Countless times has it loved

 

And in as many times it has risked and loved

It has bled and hurt too

 

My heart is numb.

It refuses to feel.

 

Will I ever find the spring of my wintry heart?

[Zerreit]

I feel numb right now. Physically, mentally, emotionally...

 

I want to go away and never come back. I just might..... Soon enough.

[swtsexythng®]

what i don't understand is that i haven't heard of any formal training for killing or hurting fellow human beings.... neither have heard of any educational practice on placing one's life in misery... or generating cruelty and injustice... but how come people are so good at it...

 

all throughout childhood, i've been thought of the importance of honesty and loyalty, but how come it feels like those things don't really exist.... and in instances that they do, the recipients are less than a few...

 

all throughout i've been thought that the best things i could give are love and peace.... but why it is that the more i give.... the more i loose....

 

it's a fact that "no man is an island", but why is it that selfishness overrides selflessness...

 

with all of these, it's funny people still keeps wondering why the world is in such a chaotic state...

[KristinLavransdatr]

Dear,

 

it sure is a mystery how two people meet and know exactly that they will meet again and again...not by chance this time, but by force. that which draws you to me -- even when our hands don't touch, nor our eyes lock...

 

now i know what the cliche "you take my breath away" means and feels. because that's exactly what you do to me. who ever said those words first, must have uttered them without thoughts to creativity. because they are so exact, so precise.

 

but there's another thing you do to me: you defy my signature...

 

Y

Edited January 12, 2005 by KristinLavransdatr

[Guest chunky]

Alexa,

 

I know there isn't any possibility of it, but I can only wish to have you back.

 

I no longer know which of my visions I am to believe. I no longer care. But at least, I have the memories of you intact.

 

With that, I thank you.

 

 

 

The old fool...

[roxysnonie]

dearest,

 

too bad it was SRO last nite, it would've been the icing on the cake to a wonderful night! it was as if time stood still and yet time flew and before we knew it work beckons me and you hafta go back home...sigh!

 

till the next episode...

 

take care!

Edited January 9, 2005 by roxysnonie

[missmanners]

YOU!

 

yes, you...

 

are you staying or going?

 

decide and stick to it dammit.

Edited January 9, 2005 by missmanners22

[arrow]

vanity,

 

 

pls,pls...dont turn ur back on me.my world already stop spinning.i no longer feel the same as the trees and the stars.i miss u sooooooooo much.

 

died when u left

[WayneTruce]

" Years had passed but you are still here.. Why? This is not the way I planned things to happen.. I'm fulfilling my dreams without you.. Life is a choice and I chose to stand, to walk in a road that is less-travelled.. What's waiting for me there.. I don't know.. All I know is that, you are still here.. I may reach the end without you in sight.. But I'm tired already.. I can't see anymore.. but I would still walk this road until I got there..until.. I die.. "

[Manticore]

M,

 

I'm not sure where you want to take this, but what the heck. Life's too short to keep second-guessing yourself. Just keep your wits about you, Bro'. Your actions will have an effect on others, this time around, so consider them carefully. Have a good one!

 

Su buen amigo,

S

Edited January 12, 2005 by Manticore

[gen_g]

when to stop grieving inside and start moving..the reality that keeps holding me back is fear, utter lonliness and sheer disappointment...the unpredictable and the unknown....don't have a lot of people in my life...getting fewer...all i wish for right now is peace and courage to do the things i need to do at this very moment............will it ever come?

[warhammer]

I know that this is hard for you, and I understand. This setup is entirely new to you. But as I’ve been telling you ever since the day we met, charging blindly into battle against these forces you’ve been telling me about would ensure your victory over them. The least they expected is you coming at them with all you got, laughing like a crazy hag while you’re at it.

 

You notice that they’ve been avoiding you since that day you finally let them know how you felt. Now, they understand. They do not know you like I do. I know what you are capable of. They never imagined you pulling something like that off.

 

Eventually, they will learn to genuinely respect you and your decisions. They’d have to accept who you are, and who you want to be. They should never control you. You have your own life. You let them live theirs. They should let you live yours. And this is the start of a whole new you.

 

I really stink with endings, so I'm just gonna say "have a good life, and always stay strong".

 

If ever you need anything from me, you would always know how to find me.

[sweetpsyche]

TO kiko machine and bdg:

 

your love, unrequited

your supplications offered

that heart will be accepted

and love be undeterred

 

i wish you courage - the beacon

to guide and give you purpose

all love is never done

till effort brings it to a close

 

dedicated to you guys!

(was just inspired by your posts)

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

welcome back

[sweetpsyche]

pls... u know nothing.. or maybe u do... but only the half of it.. and believe me it doesnt equate the whole... so do u know what u should do? say nothing...

[wjc-934]

di ako sanay sa biglaan...

 

unti unit nalang sana...... nawala!!!!