The Mail Box

[Barenaked-NoMre]

Am happy that you look happy with her in your pictures. Sorry, I "invaded" your space on the web ... to "check" you out.

 

Hope we can somehow get past our past ... and be acquaintances at least. We should ... we will no doubt meet at EBs. I dont want to always worry bumping into you ... how I should be.

 

Let's end 2004 well and be better individuals for 2005. ;-)

 

You will always have a special place in my heart ... JB.

[roxysnonie]

 

why does my heart beat faster still with you around? a feeling of a certain high yet indescribable, why oh why?

 

[warhammer]

T,

 

‘Dre, hope you’re doing well - if ever you read this.

 

I’m writing to you cuz you apparently do not know what you are getting into. I’ll be straight with you. I’m not gonna lecture you with lines like “she’s playing with you”, or “she’s just like T – believe me, I know” or “have you forgotten what she did to you in public?” cuz it won’t mean anything.

 

My advice for you, go with it. You need to experience this to know what I mean. You have to get through hell to realize that this one’s just using you.

 

Heard you talked with M sometime ago. I was talking to her this afternoon. She told me that you had this notion that this woman will eventually change… I just told M that she should just back off – just like what she did with me.

 

Don’t worry, man. You won’t personally hear anything negative from me, even if you ask me to explain it to you straight. But know this…

 

You will get hurt.

 

You will, also, eventually know what I mean.

 

Go ahead. Love her with all your heart. Always give her the benefit of the doubt. Always take her side. Don’t listen to us when we say that she’s bad for you. Let her repeatedly humiliate you, while you bask in her glory while she exercises her domination over you. Follow your masochistic urge to get hurt. Don’t listen to us. Listen to your heart.

 

Eventually, you will learn.

 

Don’t worry… when this is all over, I won’t say “I told you so”…

 

D

[gen_g]

changing pace and supposedly face...style...grace. hanging on....holding on.......clinging to dear "life"....searching...trying.....consuming the insides.....

[KristinLavransdatr]

L,

 

i swear i never had any man wait for me for 2 1/2 hours. but you waited. and there was no trace of irritation in your face when i entered the door. instead of a frown you gave me a smile. i didn't have to explain much although i could have completed a book had you given me time to explain. but you only asked how my day was.

 

for the seven weeks i've known you, you have been nothing but a streak of sunlight through my darkened windows, a majestic symphony in the cacophony of rock bands.

 

you...are amazing!

[Manticore]

My dearest G,

 

Hi. Been quite awhile since I've written you, so please don't see this as some sort of intrusion upon what I hope is now a blissful married life. I've broken my vow to end all communication between us, because I feel there is no more need to protect your feelings for him. Each time I visit that fateful day in my mind, I can't help but become convinced that it was the right thing to do. Had I insisted on keeping you for myself, you'd probably be miserable by now. How selfish I was to think that you belonged to me! Anyway, that's all in the past. It's taken this long for my feelings to catch up with what my mind has acknowledged a long time ago. I wish you nothing but the best in life. You deserve it.

 

Your new friend,

M

Edited December 17, 2004 by Manticore

[Guest simply_miss]

Mr.M,

 

Few hours from now, we will part our ways, but I'd like to thank you for all the kindness you've shown me and for all those laughters and fun. I am really looking forward of spending those nights with you again.

It's nice to know someone as cool, free spirited and very polite person like you. I will just be right here, same spot, waiting for you .

 

I wish you will have a grand time with your family and friends back home .

 

Simply,

Miss

[limpbwisit]

to myself,

 

you have been through a lot. you deserve to be happy in the arms of the person you love most. you are entitled to your dreams and hopes. most of all, you have the right to be happy.

 

you have suffered for so long. you have been battered and bruised. people hurt you and scorn you and say a lot of things about you. you took all the blows.

 

you need a break. sometimes you need to be selfish. you thing to look after your self. try to love yourself because in the end there will be no one left to support you but the man you see in the mirror.

 

you are a strong fellow. use your strenght to your advantage.

 

we remain,

yourself

[Guest chunky]

Kuya,

 

I appreciate your concern over the whelping beats of my heart. I was not fully aware of what has happened between you and T till recent. It's bad thing she did to you.

 

The thing is, I was already aware of the goings on and the true nature of the one I was setting my heart into. I wasn't complacent enough, so I made sure I won't get hurt "much" if what I saw will indeed happen.

 

For what it's worth, she was worth something to me. She has woken the sleeper in me. She had shown me a few things (nothing physical, mind you) that no "normal" woman would ever dare. For all her obvious faults, she gave me something no one else had.

 

True Inspiration.

 

Of all the things I could do, I could do jack s**t. She opened my eyes to what I could do with what natural talent I have. She moved my ever chaotic thoughts into order, despite keeping hers in chaos. No, she did not change me, she woke up who I am.

 

But then, someone told me that a muse can NEVER stay with the one she inspires. And that I am only too aware of. The same person said that he didn't want to rock the boat, buut I merelt said, "you can't rock a boat if it ain't on water."

 

So I shielded myself from the storm. Before it happened, I was prepared enough so that only my ego was hurt and not my heart.

 

You need no worry. Mama M wasn't. I've been through so much hurt not to be wise enough to bring a cushion for me to fall on. But then again, I've been through so much pain that the scars have made most of myself numb. There is a pplace remining in me that is still untouched, and that I keep for myself.

 

I won't even go to whose loss it is. I didn't lose her, for how can I lose what I NEVER had.

 

Sally forth, my brother and friend. Though she might still hold a special place in my heart, I don't think I can afford nor allow myself to be wary.

 

Maybe someday, she'll realize I'm not so bad after all...

 

The Chunkster

[LICKERO]

TO THE ONE WHO FOUND MY 4-1000 PESO BILLS. USE IT NA LANG WISELY HA? CONSIDER IT A CHRISTMAS GIFT FROM ABOVE WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM ME.

[LostCommand]

I hear the ticking of the clock.

 

It is yearend once more.

 

As in previous years, I pause and take stock. Another year of my mortal existence has been spent. The years left, have dwindled yet again.

 

In the distance, the mountains beckon. Upon their hard shoulders, should one ascend their heights, one shall glimpse the designs of the armies clashing upon the plains below. And can issue the vital instructions where to strike.

 

But first, to cross the whole field of clashing armies, with the mortal sands running out, the clock ticking, irrevocable...

 

I plan for the coming year.

 

Setbacks now hurt me less, wounds do not bleed as much; this past year has also brought strength,

and friends,

 

and hope,

 

- LC

[LovenFaith]

For you…

You know who you are…

 

 

STOP…PLEASE…!!!

You already have the “peace with me” you’re wishing for , so that’s enough.

STOP…Coz what you’re doing is overwhelming me…AND I DON’T LIKE IT…!!!

Why don’t you just spare you’re hard-earned money to buy something for your family, especially your dad.

Hey, it’s Christmas. And even though it maybe not, NOW is the time to crash down that damn barrier between you and your family.

I know that your foolish pride made you refuse to see that whatever happen, they ‘ll still the most important people in your life, they’ll be the least to leave you come your worst time, and you maybe never hear them say they love you unconditionally, but they did.

If you don’t do it now, then you’ll just prove to me that you’re the most stupid person in this world. There’s no second chance you could have them.

Don’t reason out that ate and his wife have just suffering on their bitterness in life that made them bring themselves distant from you. You’re very aware of that so why don’t you just try to give them extra special understanding. You’re older than them that I assume you know it better how to deal with them.

You’re always reasoning to me that you’re not close with your dad, ever.

Well, you know what?, you’re too stupid not to see that he loves you so much.

You know he hates to stay late every night but he always did; because he knows that you’re out and he will never have his peace of mind traveling to his slumber land until he knows that you already back home safe.

You don’t know that he’s worrying about you coz he’d been to places you’re going done things you’re doing right now. He’s holding the current every morning and too clever to know, though he’s not going out of his house, that if it’s dangerous to stay out at night during his time, ergo today. But seems you don’t feel that, and I feel so sorry for you about that.

How about doing those nice things you’re doing to me to them?

How about a kiss on papsy’s cheeks every morning you got home?

How about a rub on his hair whenever you see him quietly on his forty winks?

How about a “HELLO” to ate and his hubby and kids every time you see them?

Well, it’s not just Donna and Elijah who deserves those.

And how about a bunch of flowers that bring colors to papsy’s dark place every time you go back from Baclaran?

And how about a least treat you could buy him every time you got home from CG or your tireless mtc gimmicks?

When will you do such things? If he already passed away and could never appreciate what you’re doing for him???

If you do such things, then no need to plan any birthday treats for me.

That thing itself would be one of the most precious present I could ever have, that will pretty sure last my lifetime.

Don’t bother yourself of anything material for me, for us.

I’m already grateful to know that you’re praying for me and to know that I still have this fair chance of continuing our bout with this “thing” troubling our systems.

You don’t have to worry about us coz it will never happen if it’s not destined.

And even if it did, then, just be glad to think that it has a good reason and our journey will just a temporary goodbye.

Pretty sure every one of us has their appointed time of seeing our loved ones again so their goodbyes are really not forever.

Please do think of what matters to your life in this world right now.

If you refuse to do it, your prayers are of no value and your life is mere a clock ticking.

Now is the time…MAKE PEACE WITH EVERYONE…as how you wanted and did it with me…

And hey…don’t throw that chance of having someone beside you legally. You deserve to be happy, you’re too nice to love somebody like me unconditionally but it’s not worth it.

You pretty well knew that somebody already owns me and “something” owns us both.

Please move on.

She can fill that emptiness inside you that you’re just trying to deny if you find her, absolutely.

Definitely it’s not me, so don’t insist to yourself it’s me…

Coz it will never be…!!!

Edited December 19, 2004 by PeeJay_Ong

[Barenaked-NoMre]

Yes ... the years just keep passing me by.

 

But I am still here ... like I havent taken a step forward.

 

There has been times, places, friends, MEN, chats, exchanges in between ... yet, why do I feel like I'm stuck or sinking in quicksand?

 

Will 2005 be better or the same?

 

It has to change ... or I will retreat back into my shell.

 

P-L-E-A-S-E ... let things be as they should for me.

 

My heart is full ... with want and need to BE, DO and GIVE as YOU have destined for me.

[hestia]

to all those in love, keep it burnin!

[hestia]

.....And you embraced me the most loving way I can only dream of. The embrace I once saw in your eyes, that secured me from everything I feared.

We left the hut holding hands, guiding me as I climbed down the wooden flight of stairs that led to the parking lot. I felt very light inside that it showed as I smile. When I left that room, there was a different glow in me. That bed will forever be the witness on how love was born between two people who were meant to be together.

[KristinLavransdatr]

Dearest,

 

i have been allowed entry into your world. i have to tell you, it was way beyond my expectations. i had to stop just inside the door, that space between going in and turning back. it was a long time standing there. you're just too much, too much above me. there was a need to retract my steps. and for a second i hesitated. and a minute before i made the decision to turn back, you took my hand and led me in.

 

and i know i will be yours in a while. until i am owned by myself again...

 

KL

[Icee_1]

To you,

 

It's been too long since we have had a decent conversation. It's been too long since I felt close to you. We do not get to share things the way we used to do. We do not get to experience things the way we had before. I feel as if I've lost my best friend, the person I thought to be my soulmate. Yet I feel that I am powerless to do anything about it; I feel as if I am finally ready to accept the fact that we have drifted apart.

 

Is it wrong for me to give this all up? Is it wrong for me to let you go your way? Is it wrong for me to wish for something better, to want something more? I know that in your heart of hearts, these are also your considerations. But you have never verbalized these things... you have never opened up even just a little, and you just let me assume the worst.

 

Maybe, someday, our paths will cross again. Maybe, someday, we will both discover that we were meant to be. Maybe, someday, we will fall in love.

 

But someday is not now. And I don't want to put my life on hold until you come to realize things that I've realized a long time ago.

 

I guess I will always be here for you. I just hope that you will be there for me too.

 

M

[gen_g]

waiting...lingering in the dark and unknown.....consuming the idiosyncrasies of this world....assuming...picturing the future...molding what is to come..hoping for the best............time.....your friend or foe, your essence or limitation?????..will see.....

[Lipstick]

To the saddest person out there, there is someone sadder than you. Me.

[Thomas_Durnst]

When I feel like gettin bent,Yo dont fukk wit it dunn,Ima drink away the pain until my brain gets numb

 

 

Can you picture my prophecy?

Stress in the city, the cops is hot for me

The projects is full of bullets, the bodies is droppin

There ain't no stoppin me

Constantly movin while makin millions

Witnessin killings, leavin dead bodies in abandoned buildings

Carries to children cause they're illin

Addicted to killin and the appeal from the cap peelin

Without feelin, but will they last or be blasted?

Hard headed bastard

Maybe he'll listen in his casket -- the aftermath

More bodies being buried -- I'm losing my homies in a hurry

They're relocating to the cemetary

Got me worried, stressin, my vision's blurried

The question is will I live? No one in the world loves me

I'm headed for danger, don't trust strangers

Put one in the chamber whenever I'm feelin this anger

Don't wanna make excuses, cause this is how it is

What's the use unless we're shootin no one notices the youth

It's just me against the world baby

[Guest temperamental]

i miss our sweet nothings.

 

i miss your smile.

 

i miss your messages filled with smileys.

 

i miss your gentleness.

 

i miss the way you rmake me feel.

 

i miss you.

[HerShadow]

R

 

i told myself i'm never gonna do it again, i'm not gonna fall in the enar future and i'd just be enjoying... but then you came... you took all my plans into your hands and replaced them with yours, though worked so hard and waited long for the two of us to set it official, you were gone before i knew it...

 

 

it's december 23, but i'm sorry i can't feel Christmas, simply because plans for Christmas included you... i know when i go home i'd be happy with my family, they're my refuge as always... but while i'm still here, i just can't seem to stop thinking of you....

 

do you know how it feels to be lied to after giving your trust, against everyone's will? do you know how it feels that i've finally been given hope of true happiness and i suddenly found out it's all farce?? do you know how it is to feel I must've done something wrong for you to leave me without any warning?? do you know how it feels when somethin that's so ok... even beyond ok... is suddenly taken away from you... with you not being able to fight for it... even if you want to....

 

do you know that i still cry myself to sleep nowadays?? do you know that everytime friends ask me about you, my tears would just spill? do you know that i sometimes have to get out of the office suddenly, just to take some fresh air, for i feel my heart would burst of suffocation, but it ain't the closed space, it's the pain.... do you know that yesterday, i boarded a bus at 4:30am and your song for me by alicia keys played the minute i got to a seat, it was too much that i just sat there crying, to lonely to care or notice if anyone's looking... do you know that just the mere mention of your name gets my throat constricted.... do you know that i can't even bear to look at friendster anymore...

 

every night, i rewind and play our days in my mind, trying to see where i went wrong... and still failing to find out why you left me... moreover failing to discover how is it that you've found someone new a mere week after... failed to see the logic in the fact that our pictures are all over this site and your picture with her are "shouting out" in another site... refused to believe that you'd be heartless enough to dupe me while you know just what i've gone through recently... do you know that everytime i reach into my neck for the chain that you gave, memories of subic flash into my mind, until my eyes are once more filled...

 

do you know that every night, i still pray that when i wake up, everything would just turn out to be a nightmare... but it's not... i guess that's one prayer that can't be granted....

 

why did you do this to me? why now? and why me? couldn't you have picked someone else... you might think of me as someone acting lowly... but i can't be untrue to my self... i don't go into a relationship just so i could have one... i get into one if the feelings are real... and if the person's real....

i've got so many things to consider now and i've risked them all for you, but i don't think you even thought of that.... and don't expect me to jump into another man's lap just because i'm free now... it's just not me...

 

do you know that every night, i pray that when i wake up my heart would stop aching... but it hasn't stopped yet... i guess i should pray for something else....

[LostCommand]

The year is almost done

Our numbers dwindle, old friend.

 

Do you remember when we felt invincible, back when we had just graduated from the toughest ever highschool in Pinas?

 

Life was simple then.

 

Now those of us who have fought before, are asked to fight again. With dented shields and chipped blades, and weary arms.

 

And there are fewer of us now.

 

So that is life. We do not fight one climactic battle, after which we can rest on the green fields. No, we are asked to fight in battle after battle, and endurance is what is asked of us, not a penultimate battle.

 

I rest, and husband my strength. I still have three decades/11,000 days to go, more or less, before I can call it a day. This assumes I can make it that far. With that in mind I check my rucksack for provisions, and look for what else I need.

 

I rest and sharpen my blade.

 

Rest is a weapon too

 

- LC

[gen_g]

my tummy is feeling weird and my head is spinning...whats next?

[Guest simply_miss]

Tell me how will I be able to get through this season?

It's so lonely without you around me

How will be able to smile if my heart is crying and longing for you

I yearn for you.