The Mail Box

[colette]

dear ambong,

 

now that i'm back in the barrio, it still feels as though i'm still not here.

everything has changed. you are not the ambong i know. you left my life,

my dreams, and this barrio you grew up in.

 

i don't know what life you live in obando with marina. or if you are ever happy.

i'm not sure i want to know. it pains me to even think for when i do, i see you

with her and it's a stab in my heart.

 

ka igme asked me out the other day to watch a movie. i could not bring myself

to go with him. deep down, i still feel attached to you. i feel i must stay faithful

and loyal.

 

but of course, i should not. i am not blind and stupid to still wish

we'd be together.

 

ps. someone told me she saw marina dancing. why? is she infertile?

 

 

your one and only colette

[colette]

dreams no more

 

remember, when we would sit by the riverbank, holding my hand.

your other hand holding a stick. drawing some imaginary figure.

your dreams for me? for us? you were at it the whole time.

i wondered. but did not ask. you were in some world i could not

grasp. but i was never insecure. not ever thinking that maybe it

was someone else you were thinking of. because you were holding

my hand. i felt your heart. your pulse, alive. in love.

 

those dreams, i still wonder about. and at night, when there are no stars,

and the moon has not woken, i sit by the window, trying to look far, because maybe, maybe, those dreams are out there. with my eyes, holding tears,

i would find them. i would find the figure your stick drew.

 

i'm staring at my left hand. the hand you held tightly. it is cold. not warmed

by you. it is cold. and almost dead. it breathes not. it dreams not. it clasps

not your hand.

 

crying all the time,

 

colette

[colette]

your picture

 

and when there were no more tears falling, when my body, close to

giving up life, would not respond to more sadness, i would sit on

my bed. feet under thighs, my whole being aching silently, i would

utter your name. softly, at first, a faint whisper. i would say

"ambong" repeatedly. the name of the man i love.

 

and then i would close my eyes. my thought i would send off.

to journey into space. into worlds unknown. so they may find you.

so they might touch you, where my hands cannot. so they may kiss

you, where my lips cannot.

 

oh, ambong, if only you know how much i suffer. how life no longer

begins n the mornings with the crowing roosters.

 

if only you know my days now are spent, waiting for my last breath

because life has ceased having meaning.

 

i don't want life.

i don't want life.

 

when it's not with you.

 

 

crying all the time,

 

colette

[colette]

the fiesta

 

we were so happy then. we danced the night away. and you even joined

me in the kitchen, where a plate of tatay's adobong palaka was set aside

for us.

 

and then you said, "colette, remember when the kids at school would tease

me? they said my eyes looked nananabik like hayok eyes of palaka?"

 

that grossed me out, ambong. i imagined i was chewing eyes. but of course, i was not. frog's leg dangling on my lips.

 

but i said "ambong, of course, i did not laugh. i thought your eyes were beautiful. they would sometimes look gulat. but harmless, really."

 

and then you kissed me. my tongue trying to reach your throat. trying to

taste swallowed viand. trying to taste you. my love. my reason for being.

 

and then you pulled my arm. you walked fast, and i followed. you took

me to inang's bahay kubo. on the bamboo floor, looking up to the santos

and santas imahen, you devoured my virginity. i confiscated your

manhood. we rocked our world. the anahaw roof fluttering with each thrust.

the floor creaking with each moan. i was so wet, ambong. and you were

in and out like a mad man. then suddenly, "ay, nahugot!" i exclaimed.

and you, quickly re-inserting. into that place so deep, the cave that was

home to your hito.

 

it will be fiesta time. but i don't wait with eagerness.

 

it is not fiesta without you, ambong. i'm so tigang without your hito.

 

 

crying all the time,

 

colette

[colette]

i swear

 

 

one of these days, ambong, i will turn up at your doorstep, when marina has left for the fields. you will open your door to a woman naked. a woman in love who wants you to see her naked, that you might remember her as she was before, when her erect nipples made you drool. when you would flick your tongue on them as your fingers played with her pussy. yes, ambong, i shall turn up,

and you will see the world you left behind.

 

you used to say, you were always full after you've sucked on them.

you used to say after you've devoured my juices, for three days, you

were not thirsty or hungry.

 

i'm pinching my nipples now, ambong. i'm imagining they are being kissed

and sucked by you. i'm rubbing my pussy with a pillow. pretending it's

your hito rubbing it.

 

ahh, must love only exist in dreams i make? but i swear to you, ambong,

when i turn up at your doorstep, you open your door to a woman

grabbing your hito.

 

 

not anymore crying but horny instead,

 

colette

[Zerreit]

E,

 

Why??? :cry:

 

L

[wjc-934]

jean,

 

 

Siguro nga hindi ito ang panahon para sa ating dalawa.

Hindi ito ang pagkakataon para sa pag-ibig ko sa iyo.

Natatandaan mo nang minsang tanungin mo ako Kung sino ang babaeng mahal ko? "Darating din ang panahon na malalaman mo...” yan ang naging sagot ko sa iyo.

 

Ngayon ay sasabihin ko na, ikaw yun, ikaw ang laging laman ng aking mga panalangin, ng aking paggising at pagtulog. Ikaw ang nagbibigay kulay sa mundo kong ito, at sana ay madinig mo ito.

 

 

kit

[irshes]

M,

 

I'm still heady, with alcohol, conversation, smoke and laughter. Tonight was the first time we danced.

Each time we get close feels like a brand-new experience. I can never fully predict what will happen when you get that close to me. Your scent never fails to render me powerless. Until now, I'm still reeling...

I can just imagine the looks we'll be exchanging later. Now you know why they keep the tequila bottle from me

I can't wait to see you.

 

T

 

P.S. The look on your face when I tease another is priceless.. but I know you like that, don't you?

[Shiro]

i'm so tired...

so hurt...

for so long.

 

i want this all to end

i want this love

to wither and die

 

i want to stop hurting

 

i have to let you go

 

but i can't.

[tio_pot]

You give your hand to me and then you say hello

And i can hardly speak my heart is beating so

And anyone can tell you think you know me well

But you don't know me

 

No you don't know the one who dreams of you at night

And longs to kiss your lips longs to hold you tight

Oh i am just a friend that's all i've ever been

Cause you don't know me

 

I never knew the art of making love

No my heart aches with love for you

Afraid and shy i let my chance go by

The chance that you might love me too

 

You give your hand to me and then you say goodbye

I watch you walk away beside the lucky guy

Oh you will never know the one who loves you so

Well you don't know me

 

You give your hand to me and then you say goodbye

I watch you walk away beside the lucky guy

Oh you will never know the one who loves you so

Cause you don't know me

Oh no you don't know me

Oohh...you don't know me

[Zerreit]

My dearest little sister,

 

I was surprised when I got an sms message from you last week. I didn't know how to react. It's been so long since you've come to me and asked me for help. I know our relationship as sisters have been severely strained by so many things, but I am very happy to know that you still consider me as one. I almost had tears when I read your message. I'm happy to know that you still consider me as someone you can go to when you are in need or in trouble. I hope that little step we took last week is the start of a renewed relationship between us. You are, and always be my sister, my own blood. I will take care of you no matter what. Although I may not show it, I do love you and I do worry about you a lot. I know you're on your way into having a life of your own. It'll be a long journey, and it won't be easy, but I am here to somehow make things easy for you. If you need me, you know where I am. Just a knock on my door, or a text message away, and I'm there.

 

Love,

L

[Leslie Garcia]

Dearest,

 

I miss you na ... you haven't been texting me ... why? we are friends aren't we? i love the way you ask me questions, the way you smile, laugh i miss talking to you ... i want to be near you again explore your whole being ... discover things they don't know where to find ....

 

just me

[wjc-934]

Sabi nga sa isang awit, "Kay hirap palang umibig sa di tamang panahon, kung bakit ngayon ko lang natagpuan ang isang katulad mo...", bakit nga ba? Ewan, hindi ko din alam at siguro ay hindi ko na din hahanapan ng sagot ang tanong na yun baka maloko pa ako. Basta mahal kita.

[Shiro]

I saw you this morning....

 

And did not love you anymore.

 

Ouch.

[sweetpsyche]

Even though we are apart, you will always be in myheart. As long as we have the memories, yesterday remains. As long as we have hope, tomorrow awaits.

 

This is the final letter I might ever send you; too bad I just dont have the guts to do so. Why? I do not know. maybe because I fear that this would already be a closure.. and somehow I dread that... for a part of me doesnt want to completely close what we had.. but a part of me does. Indeed, it is hard to let go of something wonderful... or should i say... something that was ONCE wonderful.

You will always be special. You have showed and made me realized things I never thought I am capable of, things I never imagined I would ever have and most of all things I never believed I deserve. I'll never forget that night when we met. I wouldn't change how we met for the world; we shared our hopes and dreams for the future. I just pray when you have read this letter it touches your heart and restarts what we had before... or maybe not. I do not know. Cause to be honest. I'm tired of it.

 

If only you knew how your absence has affected me, you would have never tossed me aside like you have. or will u? To have given me so much in the beginning, made so many promises - you would've never let me down. To cut me out of your life in such a manner is not only cruel but you have decided my fate by coming into my life giving me something wonderful and letting me believe in us, only to destroy it and take it away. You are always telling me you hate letting me down but if you did, why do you constantly keep letting it happen again and again? Why? Thats all I want to know...

 

Oh well... I can not go on any further.... please do take care.

 

bye.

thank you.

 

me.

Edited April 6, 2004 by sweetpsyche

[wjc-934]

litong lito na ako dahil sa pag ibig ko saiyo.....!!!!

[Shiro]

L,

 

I know you don't really appreciate getting things from me anymore, among all of the other things about me you don't appreciate. But I just wanted to share this one thing with you, because I know that upon reading these words, you will finally smile your last smile for me.

 

I saw you today, and for some reason, I could no longer find it within my heart to love you. In the few seconds that we spoke my mind was racing to find in my heart the feelings that have kept me by your side these past five years... I couldn't find them. The memories of our first meeting, the many joys that we shared, these returned to me as I turned to walk away... but when I looked back at you again, all I could see was hurt and emptiness... no longer the love that made me the happiest man for all this time.

 

We had good times, dear L. We raised our hearts to unimaginable heights, we explored our souls, discovered our bodies in all so many ways: The touch of your fingers on my naked body, the softness of your skin, the accelerated beat of your heart, the wetness and tenderness of your lips, the sweet smell of your pillow in the morning. How can I forget that? How can I possibly, ever forget that?

 

I won't.

 

You no longer have to hide anything from me, because I realize now that you deserve your own happiness. Deny it all you want, but be he your boyfriend, lover, or just a very good friend, RN occupies a special place in your heart. Go on and find what you want to find with him. Because you have to find some reason to smile every day too.

 

You're so young, my dear L, you're so very young. As for me, I'm running a race that I can't ever hope to run to your satisfaction. No matter how hard, I try, how fast I change, how much I transform to someone that may possibly pass your impossibly high standards. it will never be enough for you. I can never catch up to your youth. I can not cope with this difference anymore. In hindsight, maybe I never could, even in the moments when I loved you the most, for I always knew that such love could not live forever because forever was too short.

 

I'm shivering like a child as I write these words to you, like the child you made me feel like for all so many moments.

 

I just hope that going forward, you can find it within yourself to treat me with the respect you treat other people. And maybe someday, we could even consider each other as friends.

 

Thank you so much for coming into my life, and making these last five years the happiest I have ever lived. But you have moved on and so must I. From this point forward, the only thing we will have in common is our responsibility to our daughter.

 

Please make sure, that no matter how low you think of me, you never forget that I am her father, and she and I deserve a chance to foster our relationship. I beseech you never to let any other man intrude on this. Keep the men of your life away from our daughter and from your home with her. This is my last and only request.

 

I wish you the best.

 

But I have to move on.

 

Enough.

 

Enough already.

[Wolf]

Goodbye, LR, my sweet friend.

Yes, hearts do get broken.

And in your case, it happened quite often.

So I hope you have your peace now.

Thanks for letting me know you.

 

:cry: :cry: :cry:

[wjc-934]

Mahal kita kahit na dahil sa yo naghiwalay kami ng gf ko, kasi sinabi ko sa kanya na ikaw talaga ang mahal ko, na nung nalaman mo ay tumawa ka lang na para bang wala kang pakialam.

 

Mahal kita, kahit na lagi mong sinasabi sa akin na sinusumbatan kita, sorry a, di ko naman kasi alam na sumbat na sa yo iyon. Sinasabi ko lang naman sa yo ang nararamdaman ko. Sumbat na ba para sa yo iyon?

[irshes]

I got you, don't I? Platonic love, my ass I know you want me, hahaha!

I am a sucker for power trips. You know that.

Words are cheap. Time to act on it.

 

Kisses,

T

[irshes]

I like the way you stare. Did you know you made my temperature shoot up a couple of degrees higher? Man, those eyes. You are such a flirt I like that.

If you keep this up, don't blame me for what's gonna happen.

 

T.

[Guest the_eight_of_orbs]

Les mensonges ne laissent rien mais une âme blessée marquée pendant la vie. Rien ne semble ajouter plus. Rien ce vous avez dit semblé vrai. Rien. Je ne vous connais plus. Je ne pense pas que je veux vous connaître plus.

 

J'ai appris pas à marche loin de vous plutôt que j'ai appris à apprendre de vous et ce que nous avons eu et alors décidé de se déplacer là-dessus est le meilleur pour nous tous les deux. Je sais que vous pensez que je suis encore frappé. Mon coeur guérit rapidement, j'ont oublié. J'ai passé, sans vous. Réveillez-vous. Au revoir.

 

:cry:

Edited April 7, 2004 by the_eight_of_orbs

[Guest the_eight_of_orbs]

A

 

you make me smile, i like that about you.

you make me feel good, i like that about you.

you make me want to be a better person, i like that about you.

you make me open up like a coffee table book, i like that about you.

you make me laugh like anything, i like that about you.

you make me speak from my heart, i like that about you.

you make me feel so natural around you, i like that about you.

you make me want to want you, i like that about you.

you make me alive, i like that about you.

 

i do like you.

 

D

[DELISYUS]

AA sisters

 

just don't fall in love

if you're falling in love

too soon

make sure the guy

deserves it first

 

 

 

[wjc-934]

Loving u secretly is a hard thing 4 me 2 do, hoping, wondring that u will feel d same way 2, but I can't read ur mind f u luv me 2. But whatever it is, I'll still be loving u." "How I wish I cud really tell u how much u mean 2 me, but m afraid 2 love, scared 2 get hurt... I hope dat u will wait 4 me & pray dat u will not get tired of loving me..