Political Jokes

[Bugatti Veyron]

Headline: ANGRY KANYE WEST YANKS AWAY AWARD FROM UNDESERVING TAYLOR SWIFT

 

two weeks later

 

Breaking News: OBAMA WINS NOBEL PEACE PRIZE

 

Republican National Committee: let's send kanye to the award ceremonies.

[harmless0810]

The Audacity Of Hope

 

the white house has launched the "middle class jobs and opportunity tour."

 

obama will give a series of JOBS CREATION speeches starting in TEXAS, in the hope of TURNING IT INTO A BLUE STATE.

 

HA HA HA HA Ha!!! what will you say jay leno?

[harmless0810]

The Magnificent Jay Leno. The liberal that politically connected liberals hate for having the guts to skewer Obama's failures.

 

President Obama was down in Texas on his Middle Class Jobs and Opportunity Tour. Now, don't confuse it with his first term. The Middle Class Jobs and Missed Opportunities Tour. That was totally, totally different.

 

While in Texas, while President Obama was in Texas, he told the people to remember the Alamo and forget Benghazi. Just forget that. That's a whole 'nother thing.

 

Well actually the administration now very concerned that the Benghazi hearings are gaining momentum. Like today, in a press conference, even a non-Fox reporter asked about Benghazi. So that's not. That's a little crazy. That never happens.

 

More:

 

The White House has a new slogan about Benghazi: Hope and change the subject.

 

A serious comment:

 

This week, CBS News became the first news organization besides Fox to ask President Obama, who changed the Benghazi talking points?

 

See, this is very dangerous to the White House if journalists should start asking real questions.

 

Source: NewsBusters

[Cheesy Escudero]

Grace Poe: Ano ang english ng 'Panday'

 

Nancy Binay: 'Blacksmith!'

 

:lol:

[harmless0810]

"Obama: Anatomy of a World Leader" - Alex Gray

 

"Difficult as it may now be to recall, there were once 'spiritually advanced people' who looked at this Chicago machine politician and saw 'a Lightworker, that rare kind of attuned being ... who can actually usher in a new way of being on the planet.' "

 

 

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-26sp3UuaCys/UQae6eRBvEI/AAAAAAAAO84/yD2dnfjiXtw/s400/Barack_Obama_Light_Worker.JPG

 

Divine One, when will you fix the U.S. economy?

 

Why won't you punish that infidel, Dick Cheney?

 

Will you bring down your wrath on that basketball god from Chicago, Michael Jordan?

 

What sacrifice will you ask from the wealthiest woman in the world, Oprah Winfrey?

 

 

 

wait, isn't 'lightworker' another alias of the dark prince?

[oscartamaguchiblackface]

We hang petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public

 

office.~Aesop

 

 

 

 

Those who are too smart to engage in politics are punished

 

by being governed by those who are dumber.~Plato

 

 

 

 

Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even where there is no river.~Nikita Khrushchev

 

 

 

 

When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; I'm beginning to believe it.~Quoted in 'Clarence Darrow For The Defense' by Irving Stone

 

 

 

 

Politicians are people who, when they see light at the end of the tunnel, go out and buy some more tunnel.~John Quinton, American Actor/Writer

 

 

 

 

Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich, by promising to protect each from the other. ~Oscar Ameringer, "The Mark Twain of American Socialism."

 

 

 

 

I offered my opponents a deal:"If they stop telling lies about me, I will stop telling the truth about them".~Adlai Stevenson, Campaign Speech, 1952.

 

 

 

 

A politician is a fellow who will lay down YOUR life for his country.~ Texas Guinan, 19th Century American Businessman

 

 

 

 

I have come to the conclusion that politics is too serious a matter to be left to the politicians.~Charles de Gaulle

 

 

 

 

Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks.~Doug Larson, English Middle-Distance runner

 

 

[maxiev]

We hang petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public

 

office.~Aesop

 

 

 

 

Those who are too smart to engage in politics are punished

 

by being governed by those who are dumber.~Plato

 

 

 

 

Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even where there is no river.~Nikita Khrushchev

 

 

 

 

When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; I'm beginning to believe it.~Quoted in 'Clarence Darrow For The Defense' by Irving Stone

 

 

 

 

Politicians are people who, when they see light at the end of the tunnel, go out and buy some more tunnel.~John Quinton, American Actor/Writer

 

 

 

 

Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich, by promising to protect each from the other. ~Oscar Ameringer, "The Mark Twain of American Socialism."

 

 

 

 

I offered my opponents a deal:"If they stop telling lies about me, I will stop telling the truth about them".~Adlai Stevenson, Campaign Speech, 1952.

 

 

 

 

A politician is a fellow who will lay down YOUR life for his country.~ Texas Guinan, 19th Century American Businessman

 

 

 

 

I have come to the conclusion that politics is too serious a matter to be left to the politicians.~Charles de Gaulle

 

 

 

 

Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks.~Doug Larson, English Middle-Distance runner

Very appropriate in our poltical world. Seems politicians have been derided for a very long time now. Serves them right.

[sonnyt111]

We hang petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public

 

office.~Aesop

 

 

 

 

Those who are too smart to engage in politics are punished

 

by being governed by those who are dumber.~Plato

 

 

 

 

Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even where there is no river.~Nikita Khrushchev

 

 

 

 

When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; I'm beginning to believe it.~Quoted in 'Clarence Darrow For The Defense' by Irving Stone

 

 

 

 

Politicians are people who, when they see light at the end of the tunnel, go out and buy some more tunnel.~John Quinton, American Actor/Writer

 

 

 

 

Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich, by promising to protect each from the other. ~Oscar Ameringer, "The Mark Twain of American Socialism."

 

 

 

 

I offered my opponents a deal:"If they stop telling lies about me, I will stop telling the truth about them".~Adlai Stevenson, Campaign Speech, 1952.

 

 

 

 

A politician is a fellow who will lay down YOUR life for his country.~ Texas Guinan, 19th Century American Businessman

 

 

 

 

I have come to the conclusion that politics is too serious a matter to be left to the politicians.~Charles de Gaulle

 

 

 

 

Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks.~Doug Larson, English Middle-Distance runner

 

 

I get the feeling that politicians the world over aren't trusted by the people who put them in office. Like lawyers, I've never really heard anything nice said about politicians.

[sonnyt111]

We hang petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public

 

office.~Aesop

 

 

 

 

Those who are too smart to engage in politics are punished

 

by being governed by those who are dumber.~Plato

 

 

 

 

Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even where there is no river.~Nikita Khrushchev

 

 

 

 

When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; I'm beginning to believe it.~Quoted in 'Clarence Darrow For The Defense' by Irving Stone

 

 

 

 

Politicians are people who, when they see light at the end of the tunnel, go out and buy some more tunnel.~John Quinton, American Actor/Writer

 

 

 

 

Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich, by promising to protect each from the other. ~Oscar Ameringer, "The Mark Twain of American Socialism."

 

 

 

 

I offered my opponents a deal:"If they stop telling lies about me, I will stop telling the truth about them".~Adlai Stevenson, Campaign Speech, 1952.

 

 

 

 

A politician is a fellow who will lay down YOUR life for his country.~ Texas Guinan, 19th Century American Businessman

 

 

 

 

I have come to the conclusion that politics is too serious a matter to be left to the politicians.~Charles de Gaulle

 

 

 

 

Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks.~Doug Larson, English Middle-Distance runner

 

 

I get the feeling that politicians the world over aren't trusted by the people who put them in office. Like lawyers, I've never really heard anything nice said about politicians.

[harmless0810]

jay leno: "president obama said recently that he wants to finally close down guantanamo bay. guantanamo bay? why not close down the IRS?"

[oscartamaguchiblackface]

jay leno: "president obama said recently that he wants to finally close down guantanamo bay. guantanamo bay? why not close down the IRS?"

Ha ha. A lot of Americans would celebrate even if in the end, it was only just a hoax.

[harmless0810]

CBS reporter Elizabeth Palmer declared all Iranian candidates succeeding Ahmadinejad were the Islamist equivalent of conservative groups.

 

Sarah Palin responds to Palmer: "You put the BS in CBS."

[harmless0810]

MAN ON THE STREET

 

reporter: "have you heard the controversy about ben affleck being cast as batman?"

 

man on the street: "yes, there are so many posts on change.gov. they are lobbying obama to take action."

 

reporter: "do you want to change batman?"

 

man on the street: "change batman? i'd rather change the joker in the white house."

[*kalel*]

galing ke sen miriam...

 

1. Difference ng philippine government at mafia- one of them is organized

2. She described the 2 sides of the brains of ?Filipino politicians - the left side has no right in it, while the right side has nothing left in it

3. When a filipino congressman was held up:

Holdaper: hold up to, akina na ang pera mo

Congressman: di mo ba ko kilala, isa akong congressman!

Holdaper: kung ganun, hold up pa rin ito akina ang pera NAMIN!

4. On doing things: in everything you do, always give your 100 percent except when donating blood!

[kempaf]

Nanet Nafoolish