Writings of the Heart

[tapaking]

Guilty as charged, Loved too much, left nothing for me. I'm in prison.

[maldita_overload]

"My dad told me there are two types of girls: the ones you grow out of, and the ones you grow into. I really hope I’m the latter. I may not be the one you love today, but I’ll let you go for now, hoping that one day you’ll fly back to me because I think you’re worth the wait. -Smallville

[maldita_overload]

I feel like every time I fall in love, and it doesn't work out, I lose a part of myself. In the end, no matter how hard I try to regain it, that part is lost forever. A casualty in the war of the hearts.

 

[RED2018]

LBM (Love Bug Memoirs)

 

My thoughts are free to go anywhere, but it's surprising how often they head in your direction. Pakshet! Ikaw na naman ang nasa kukote ko…

 

Lahat naman tayo may bahagi sa buhay natin na kelangan na talagang mag-pamilya. Kung kelan, depende `yun sa threshold ng tiyaga sa paghahanap sa nararapat para sa `yo. Kapag daw kumabog ang iyong dibdib sa una ninyong pagkikita, she may be it. Yung iba payo nila `marry the one who loves you, and everything else follows.' You are in-lab na daw kapag `You don't give a damn' sa mga patungkol sa iyong bebeloves- kanya nga siguro lab is blaynd, he he!

 

Then I started to reminisce: Hinugot ko mula sa ating mga masasayang alaala ang iyong mukha. Sinubukan kong iukit sa buhangin ang iyong maamong mukha, pero wala akong nagawa kundi gumuhit ng isang blankong mukha. Walang ilong, mata, tenga, kilay,buhok at bibig. Blame it on my drawing prowess. Di talaga ako kasinghusay sa pagdrawing kaysa pagsusulat. Basta masaya ang ating mga alaala, kanya mahirap i-drowing.

At pagkahaba-haba man ng prusisyon, heto at redi na kami ni BebeKo na makipag-exchange gifts ng singsing sa isa't-isa. Pag naisuot na sa kin `yung wedding ring, malamang maraming holdaper na ang magkakainteres na lagariin ang daliri ko. Redi na nga ang lahat. Church preparations. Hotel rooms. Reception. Wedding cake, etc etc. Heto na nga `yung moment na sinasabi kong kumakalabukab na kakabakaba ang pakiramdam- Diz is it, It’s Showtime!

 

Nakatayo na ako sa harap ng altar ng cathedral habang hinihintay ang bride na si BebeKo. Di ko madescribe `yung pakiramdam. Basta halo-halong emotions: senti, may kaba, parang nauutot na parang kakabagin atbp. Nagrerebolusyon nga `yung tiyan ko, para ngang gustong makipag-chat sa akin pampalipas oras. "Ngowwrk! Ngerk! Iutot mo na ako please". Siraulong tiyan, ayaw makipagcooperate, may sarili yatang mundo. Inaliw ko na lang muna ang sarili na magmuni-muni kesa ibulsa ang kamay, maglakad habang nagyoyosi at walang patutunguhan, o kausapin si bespren. Heto ang mga laman ng isip ko (habang pigil pa rin ang pag-utot):

 

1. Dapat sinusunod ang mga nakatatanda. Alala ko noon, sabi ni Lola, "Apo wag kang titikim ng mani, nakakaadik yan". Kala ko bluff, may malalim palang kahulugan `yun. Kaya ng makatikim nga ako ng `nyun, dun ko lang naintindihan ang wisdom ni Lola. Aba'y totoo nga, nakakaadik nga.

2. Walang tabo sa hotel. Pag umebak, pedeng gamitin ang tumbler ng Tokyo Tokyo, Burger King, o McDonald's bilang tabo. Ingatan ang tabo. Kung hindi, mawawala ito at makikitang gamit-gamit ng room boy na humihigop ng malamig na orange juice.

3. Huwag mangulangot sa simbahan dahil kelangang makipag-sheyk hands sa pari pagkatapos ng misa. Lalong hindi dapat mangulangot dahil kelangang hawakan ang pisngi ng bride pag sinabi na ng pari ang `You may now kiss the bride'.

Mamya, tumunog na `yung pinto ng cathedral hudyat ng pagbubukas. Sa labas, putukan ang fireworks (di sa amin `yun, may celebration yata sa labas). Espesyal dahil si bespren, isang dabest na kaibigan ang nagbukas ng pinto. Tan-tan-tanan! Tan-tan-tanan! dahan-dahang nagmodel-modelan si BebeKo sa aisle ng simbahan. Muntik ko nang di makilala, kasi mukang racoon `yung mata sa meyk up. Kala ko tuloy sa ibang kasalan ako napadpad (joke lang). Pero seriousli, iba pala talaga ang pakiramdam ng kinakasal- parang nauutot lang, he he!

 

Nung gabing `yun, nadiskubre kong may tear duct pala ako. Kunyari naman napuwing ako kaya nagpunas ng panyo. Sobrang mahal ko `tong babaeng `to. Ay lab ebriting abawt her. `Yung pagyakap niya. Pagsimangot. Paghalik. Smile pa lang niya, ulam ko na. Hindi ko alam kung ano nakita nya sa `kin (besides pagkakaroon ng mahabang…pasensya!) para mahalin din nya ako. Everything is a puzzle. In this lifetime, somebody's waiting to complete you pala. At finally eto na nga, lintik na pag-ibig yan.

 

Habang inip na akong hinihintay ang kanyang paglabas mula sa CR ng aming honeymoon hotel, nasambit ko ng pabulong: sa "Buksan mo naman na yang kubeta iyong dibdib ,Para maipasok ko na itong nagtatae kong pag-ibig." I love you BebeKo and I always will- forever, and the days after forever! Ang sarap mo kasi……ng iyung pagmamahal…

[Saeki®]

share ko lang ung isa sa mga nilagay ko sa 'notes; ko sa facebook :lol: :lol:

 

 

===================================

 

boy,

 

 

I enjoyed myself earlier today. nakakatuwang isipin, di ko akalain na makakasama kita sa isang gathering na kasama ang mga kaibigan ko.

 

It was very sweet of you na gusto mo talaga mag spend nang mahabang oras na kasama ako. to the point na gusto mo sumama sa company event namin (sayang naubusuan ako nang mahihingian nang ticket eh....).

 

I was surprised too to realize iba na ang dating nang kiss mo. i thought nung una mawawala rin ang feeling na un pag hinalikan kita ulit. ang problema, lalong lumala..... mas lalo kong nagustuhan.

 

Yung hug mo ang nagpatayo sa balahibo ko. may kilig factor pa palang pwede mangyari satin. kakabigla! ahahaha. pero nung mga oras na panay ang yakap mo, naiisip ko na sana ganito rin ako sa next bf ko...

 

pinabayaan mo akong lambingin ka sa harap nang mga kaibigan ko. naiisip nga nila tayo na eh. pero ang totoo magkaibgan lang tayo. kaibigan huh? hangang ganun nalang ba tayo?

 

Nainis ako nung napansin ko na tinetext mo si d. wala akong laban sa kanya kasi mas bata at mas maganda sya sakin. bilang kaibigan mo (ouch), support nalang ang maibibigay ko kahit feeling ko eh di ako makahinga sa mga pinagsasasabi ko na kung gusto mo sya, dun ka. siguro napansin mo na nainis ako kaya panay tanong ka. kakatuwa nanamang bagay sayo, malakas pakiramdam mo. pero kung tutuuisin, di rin ganung kalakas. kasi di mo nararamdaman na may isang kaibigan ka na pinipigilan na tuluyang mahalin ka.

 

napapangiti ako nung sinagot mo ang isang tanong ko kanina : "nagtext ka na ba kay d?". sagot mo : "ayaw ko na syang itext" . malamang natatakot kang magalit na talaga ako. ahahahaha

 

nung hinatid mo ako papuntang office, i felt na parang ayaw pa kitang pauwiin. muntik ko pang sabihin sayo na mag half day nalang ako sa work at mag hang out muna tayo somewhere. pero naawa na ako sayo eh. kaya nagpahatid na ako. saka malamang sa hindi kahit tumangi ako na ihatid mo ako, ipipilit mo parin na dalhin ako sa trabaho. such a gentleman.

 

the parting kiss was somehow... made me think of what happened today. ano na ba tayo? bakit natin ginagawa ito? do you even know that every kiss and hug and whisper na binibigay mo sakin gives me the shivers/ goosebumps? alam mo ba na excited ako makita kita kanina at excited na akong makita ka ulit kahit di ko sure kung sa next time na magkita tayo ay single ka parin. sa tingin mo ba mag pagasa pa ako sayo? sa tingin mo ba kaya mo ako mahalin? dami ko tanong noh? pasensya ka na. naguguluhan lang talaga ako.

 

i guess nasa point na ako na naiisip ko nang mag fall sayo. pero may part parin sakin na natatakot na mahalin ka. ewan ko ba. naiisip ko na baka di kita maalagaan. na di ko maibigay ang pagmamahal na gusto/ kailangan mo. pero you know what? im willing to do my best if ever. ang tanong, will you be kind enough to give me a chance?

 

ito nalang muna ang mga gusto ko sabihin sa iyo na di ko nasabi kanina. natatakot kasi ako na baka pag nalaman mo, lumayo ka.

 

 

buti nasa laguna ka na ngayon. thanks sa txt and kiss again. mwah!

 

 

 

 

girl

[dirigma]

A young man sat and pondered the next phase of his life. “It is time,” he said, “for a girlfriend.” Yet, this new course in his life seemed both exciting and frightening. “But success will not come without much failure,” he realized. “If only there was a way to avoid the painful trials ahead.” And then, like magic, appeared a Pook! As like anyone shocked by the sudden appearance of a Pook, he was speechless. But this happened to be a talkative Pook who said, “I will guide you. The constant heartbreak, the loneliness, the feeling of having no control- these can be avoided. Follow me and I will show you many of the lessons that must be learned.” “Oh Pook!” the young man cried out. “Would it not be better to throw myself into initial error? Is not error the best way to success?” “No; your heart does not need to be shattered to realize its lessons. Do successful marriages come from a series of failed ones? Of course not. For… “Foresight teaches gently; error teaches brutally” With that, the young man asked, “And what is the first lesson?” The Pook replied, “Follow and see.” Thus, the young man followed Pook to a nearby college campus. Pook then said, “Behold, the first example.”

 

to be continued...

[Niru]

Never meant to hurt someone

Nor did i intent to be proud of myself

Whats left of my life

In this short peroid of time

I was living my life

One step at a time

 

To feel sadness by being honest

To feel betrayed just to be true

It is not the life that i choose to

Nor did i have any other choice

 

Whats already happened cannot be undone

All that it gave me was a heartache and

some of are headaches

 

Now this new life i must take care of

Its a second life given in rarity

Chances are mistakes will always be there

And where ever my feet would lead me

Aslong as i take the responsibility

I know ill be fine.

[dirigma]

Ah, but it gets better.. i'm glad someone took an interest to this 'cause the lessons here, saer, will change your life..

Behold and make ready for what's coming is...

 

Lesson One

 

A young man, overflowing with desire, saw a woman he thought was extremely cute. She was simply walking around and was involved with her own things.

 

I should speak to her, he told himself. I must meet her!

 

But his body would not obey. He stood there, watching her in the corner of his eye, and felt as if he was burning. She eventually left and he cursed himself even more.

 

Then appeared another woman who was even cuter! I should say hi, he told himself. Yet, he stood like a statue and his body felt as if he was burning. She is out of my league. She would never go for someone like me! He never approached and the woman left. Yet, another woman appeared more beautiful than the first two!

 

Somehow, he got himself to approach. Hi! he sputtered nervously. She was pleasant. He eventually asked for the number to which she said no. Even though he failed, he felt much better that he tried. Alas, he said now realizing the error of his ways.

 

Rejection is better than Regret

 

Remember, said Pook. Change is gradual. Before, you saw no opportunities. Now, you see them all about you, yet you are too hesitant to take them. Youre slowly becoming more aware.

 

What are you saying?

 

When you find yourself hesitant, always yield to ACTION. If you see her, do not wait, gawk or wait for a perfect moment. Action, action, action!

Pook, I cannot. You see… I am insecure. I dont have that confidence!

You are confusing CAUSE and EFFECT. The CAUSE of your hesitant nature is not because of your insecurity. You have not gotten what youve wanted, what youve desired. THAT is the cause of your hesitant nature.

 

What?

 

You are caught in the vicious cycle. You are hesitant because you are not used for things going your way. And things will never go your way because you remain hesitant. You see what you want, become hesitant, and the door of opportunity closes. It happens again. And again. And again. With each choice towards Inaction, you reject yourself a little bit more.

 

Pook continued. This is where that cycle of hesitation leads. In your world of Hesitation, you shred off more and more of your manliness until you turn into a full-fledged Nice Guy. Then you seek to remove hesitation by making the approach risk free. Then you start giving gifts, poetry, flowers, and declarations of love. You start to examine and re-examine non-existent signals until they read the way you want them to read. In the end, you place her on the pedestal and throw yourself to her worship.

 

If there is a choice between less pain or the possibility of more pain, we default to the less pain. In adolescence, going for a girl and failing made you think everyone else would laugh at you. Whether or not it was true, you thought it was true. This was how you were kept within the cycle.

 

But Pook! How do I get out?

 

By realizing that the choice of Inaction is more painful than Action. Childhood is over. You are the MAN. You must approach. Always default to Action now. From those of us who wasted years in that hesitation mode know that Rejection is always better than Regret. Always.

 

to be continued..

Edited August 24, 2010 by Wyld

[Guest Riveria]

Kala ko okay na ko pero bumalik ka. Alis kana lang ulit para maging okay na ang lahat.

[saitox]

Would you stay if I say and do that i will change.

[jewelofthenile]

 

All love shifts and changes. I don't know if you can be wholeheartedly in love all the time. - Julie Andrews

 

(or so I try to convince myself this is possible)

[RED2018]

Yet each man kills the things he loves,

By each let this be heard,

Some do it with a bitter look,

Some with a flattering word.

The coward does it with a kiss,

The brave man with a sword.

[RED2018]

All the knowledge I possess, everyone else can acquire, but my heart is all my own. The heart has its reasons which reason knows nothing of. In matters of the heart, nothing is except the improbable.

[Itto Ogami]

courtesy of SayingImages.com

http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_kwhdedySGS1qzr04eo1_500.jpg

[Observer08]

What has the world to offer...

to a lost soul,

a troubled mind,

a broken heart?

 

Nothing would suffice

this yearning of mine,

not the distant future,

nor the troubled past

could ever bring you back.

 

If only you'd look back and gaze,

your soft voice to calm me

and take me to a familiar place

then I'd be back home

right where I needed to be.