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What Women Want?


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a sense of humor. someone who can make me laugh.

 

more than looks or money or smarts (which are all considerations, i'm sure), i find that the true measure of my kind of man is his sense of humor. if he can find joy in the little things and knows how to take life lightly, then that tells me he's someone who i'd want to be around with not just during the good times but especially around the tough times.

 

a sureness in his identity is a big advantage as well. men who are still trying to find their place in the world grate my nerves.

 

and, i suppose, someone who i can be silent with as much as talk to. there is a comfort in silence that few people appreciate... most would rather asphalt it over with thoughtless conversation. but men who can just sit quietly and feel no pressure to impress me with smooth talk or their flashy wit are deliciously attractive.

 

finally, someone who appreciates my being the ball-busting cosmopolite i am and not be intimidated by it... but also someone who'll allow me to regress sometimes to being a little girl who needs to be comforted and assured and affirmed. it's tiring to always be strong. so when i want to give way, it'd be nice to have a man who can allow me to be weak.

 

this kind of man is rare and worth his weight in gold. and worth waiting for as well.

 

I completely agree with you. Absolutely!!! But do they come in cardboard boxes or in plastic containers? I'd like to wait for mine, too.

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Here's a little read I wanna share with you guys.

What Do Women Really Want?

(Sshhhhhh! Come closer... this is a Cosmic Secret)

by Dana Peach

 

 

I am now going to reveal to you what women want, have always wanted and will always be looking for in any man with whom they become intimate. It is a "Trump" attribute, which means that its presence is a more powerful influence than others and can tip the scales of emotional acceptance in your favor immediately.

 

Be advised that I will be dealing with a monumental but accurate generalization which is not meant to apply to every female who ever lived. I bow to the variability within and between the sexes. Nonetheless, you will see that my assertion has the undeniable thud of the obvious.

 

If you feel the cold chill of disbelief or the fever of indignation rising in you at these words, please consult with Woody Allen, a cunning expert at attracting beautiful talented women on the sheer force of this "Trump" attribute which draws women like... migrating butterflies.

 

What women want from men is confidence. The Trump is Personal Confidence.

 

Confidence... not arrogance, not dominance, not one-upsmanship, not useless bravado, not macho heroics. Women just love truly confident men.

 

Now as you know, confidence is an attitude thing. In particular, male confidence frequently manifests as an "I-can-handle-it attitude". This does not mean that feelings are denied. It doesn't imply an absence of doubt, fear, or vulnerability. A delusion of total self sufficiency is not required.

 

Confidence simply says: "I can deal with it... somehow... well at least I'll do my best". The attitude of confidence doesn't even have to be constant, just generally present in the face of most life challenges.

 

For hundreds of thousands of years of human development, a confident attitude was much easier for men to gain and display than it is now because it was required for survival. There was hardly any choice. Until recently, the demands of physical survival were the primary issue in pair-bonding and confidence-building roles for both sexes directly related to survival were far more apparent. I am not talking about survival in extraordinary circumstances, either. It could be as basic as steadfastness in getting the crops in out of the rain.

 

In the smaller communities in which we used to live, everyone could see the skilled hunter, the dedicated farmer and stockman, the courageous protector, the skilled artisan, the accomplished leader, the sage teacher, the men who didn't give up in the face of threatening set-backs.

 

Why hell! There have been times and cultures where a women wouldn't even consider a man who couldn't claim to be a good carpenter or a competent dirt mover. These roles, decreed by harsher realities of life than most of us now experience, were obvious advertisements for male virtue, i.e., "I can handle it".

 

Unfortunately, the signs indicative of genuine masculine confidence are confusing today and gender roles are a chaotic mess. The external demonstrations of natural confidence have become confused with the poor substitute of consumer status symbols. But... women instinctually look for clues to a man's level of confidence... and test it to the limit... but not in the old-fashioned way.

 

Now for the good news! Since confidence is primarily an attitude toward meeting life challenges of all kinds - and there's no shortage of challenges in the world - the essential attitude can still be cultivated and demonstrated. But it cannot be faked with money, looks, or possessions.

 

Willingness to face important struggles is still the ultimate key to a woman's respect. In contemporary times, a man may express this dynamic in many conventional ways. He can show his confidence integrity through competence in his work, education, sports, hobbies, child rearing, or doing home improvements. Actually, we can include here any thing which involves mastering a new learning curve and overcoming ego uncertainties.

 

Now, if a man really wants to do some crash confidence building these days, he can try still the old-fashioned approach - and many do so.

 

He can expose himself to more risks and bigger risks: jump out of a few airplanes, compete at martial arts, skiboard off of snowy mountains, lift weights, climb sheer cliffs with only the strength of his fingertips for security, take on dangerous political controversies, start an unusual new business with more enthusiasm than capital, confront and influence provocative teenagers, or spend days in the wilderness with only his tom-tom for company.

 

But we all know perfectly well that these are methods not character outcomes. It is not the specific activity that matters, what matters is what goes on in the man's head that makes him feel some sense of Mastery.

 

Or... a man can cut to the bottom line, avoid physically and financially dangerous experiences, and go for The Really Big Risk... the ultimate emotional challenge. He can work directly at becoming more confident with women themselves. That's riskier than cliff climbing, anyway!

 

Although a woman likes to believe a man is willing to deal with a lot of things, what really counts is that he is able to deal with her. A healthy, mature woman resists impassioned commitment to a man who is afraid of her sexuality, her intelligence, or her emotions.

 

This means gaining confidence and empathy (unavoidably stuck together) in approaching and relating to women on many levels, in the face of rejections real or imagined. And since this is the riskiest venture of all, the pay-off is, appropriately, the biggest: the devotion of a loving woman who can make your life extremely pleasant on a daily basis. Confidence with women in general - beautiful, plain, smart, nice, mean, old, young - every kind of woman - is an unavoidable social skill which can and must be learned if what you want is the greatest intimate relationship of your life.

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i want someone who will pick up the phone when i call at an odd hour because i have something important to say. i want him to be ready to listen because i wouldn't bother talking about it if i weren't occupied with it, whatever it is. i want someone who will remind me that i am loved and thought of especially when i'm busy and drowning in work and am about to scream my head off from stress. i want a simple message to tell me, hello, hey, i'm here. i want him to tell me the truth even if it will hurt but also buffer it with a hug to make me feel better. i want him to be jealous of other men but not overpoweringly so. i want him to stand his ground when i'm being unreasonable but not brush me off and dismiss me like a spoiled brat.

 

i want someone who can talk to me with his eyes. i want someone i don't need to explain things to because he just gets me. i want someone who'll be on my side when i need a pep squad. i want someone who will be relentless if i need encouragement. i want someone who has a life of his own but wants me to share it with him. i want someone who won't ask me to sacrifice anything for him because he's content with what i have to give. i want someone who will be grateful if i do decide to sacrifice something and not think he's entitled to it.

 

i want someone who wants me. after all, that's where it all starts, doesn't it?

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someone who's willing to share the rest of his life with me...someone who will cry and laugh with me in times of hardships and blissful moments...someone i can count on to thru thick and thin...someone who's willing to listen when i need to speak out my point of views...someone who will understand and accept me even if i have shortcomings...someone who can bring out the best in me... :)

Edited by mariejoy
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a sense of humor. someone who can make me laugh.

 

more than looks or money or smarts (which are all considerations, i'm sure), i find that the true measure of my kind of man is his sense of humor. if he can find joy in the little things and knows how to take life lightly, then that tells me he's someone who i'd want to be around with not just during the good times but especially around the tough times.

 

a sureness in his identity is a big advantage as well. men who are still trying to find their place in the world grate my nerves.

 

and, i suppose, someone who i can be silent with as much as talk to. there is a comfort in silence that few people appreciate... most would rather asphalt it over with thoughtless conversation. but men who can just sit quietly and feel no pressure to impress me with smooth talk or their flashy wit are deliciously attractive.

 

finally, someone who appreciates my being the ball-busting cosmopolite i am and not be intimidated by it... but also someone who'll allow me to regress sometimes to being a little girl who needs to be comforted and assured and affirmed. it's tiring to always be strong. so when i want to give way, it'd be nice to have a man who can allow me to be weak.

 

this kind of man is rare and worth his weight in gold. and worth waiting for as well.

you said it all! i want my guy to be like that!

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  • 3 weeks later...

this kind of man is rare and worth his weight in gold. and worth waiting for as well

 

I completely agree with you. Absolutely!!! But do they come in cardboard boxes or in plastic containers? I'd like to wait for mine, too.

 

 

Once you do find such a man, by all means, fair and foul, give it a go and try to get him.

It does not take an economist to figure out that if such men are rare, then you have to work hard to get them. Supply/Demand curve and all.

 

What boggles my mind is that sometimes, the ladies finally come across such a guy, and then they just sort of sit there and "wish" the guy to get in their pants.

 

go out there, find them, and grab them,

 

Do not "wait".

 

Unlike good men, good, decent girls like yourselves are everywhere. The streets are flooded with them. Unless you have the looks of an actress, the brains of an engineer, the breeding of an old family name, and the skills of a nigger black LA pornstar, well, them good guys will probably bump across ten of your likes on his way to pisser. Sorry but that's the truth.

 

Apologies that this post might be for another thread, but I just got off a phone with woman friend secretly chatting about another guy friend, for whom she will not lift a finger to get.

 

Pathetic woman, of course the genuinely great guys have a steady stream of ladies effortlessly flowing towards them! It is you poor ladies who have to do the work to get them, obvious ba? Did you think they would keep themselves for you, by some divine intervention?

 

'lul!

 

sigh....

Edited by LostCommand
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for the first time in the history of mankind i agree with you.

 

men in silver and gold wraps on display for sale so ridiculously priceless, only the likes of rowling, the queen and roberts could possibly afford are beyond the ordinarily good girl's reach. and yes, good girls come in torrents, "ideal" guys in trickle.

 

thus i have the mind to stop dying for such a man. nor even dream i could ever land on one. words can flesh out the ideals. but only thoughts preserve what's perfect. yes, that greek. specific words can make great incantations (too much of the phoenix series on me) and if you have a wand, you may be able to create a spell and have the good guy of your thoughts before you. but the world isn't hogwarts. and one can only post online.

 

so what do i want? what man? as long as he's not chubby and not have a criminal record (i hope this one isn't too much to ask) and can weave great magic in bed, after which i can very well fend for myself, thank you.

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...Words can flesh out the ideals. but only thoughts preserve what's perfect. yes, that greek. specific words can make great incantations (too much of the phoenix series on me) and if you have a wand, you may be able to create a spell and have the good guy of your thoughts before you. but the world isn't hogwarts. and one can only post online.

 

so what do i want? what man? as long as he's not chubby and not have a criminal record (i hope this one isn't too much to ask) and can weave great magic in bed, after which i can very well fend for myself, thank you.

 

 

Yet we writers remain duty bound to find the words for what others may already know, but only in thought. For by transforming nebulous vaporous thoughts into inky written words, these thoughts take one (giant) step closer to becoming real and becoming of any benefit.

 

Action speaks louder than words, and words in turn speak louder than thoughts.

 

'Tis sad to see women settle thus. But then, so do we men, and not merely with choosing women. That's reality.

 

All is fair in love and war...

...and wordsmithing

 

(apologies to the Bard)

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