Why Do Beautiful Women Fall For Ugly Men?

[Toothless]

share ko lang sinulat ko last year:

Beauty and the Best

June 2004

Assumption College students have one of the most beautiful girls I have ever laid my eyes on. Back when I was a college student, we are expected to mingle with these goddesses for a weekend. Assumption has tailored a program so that maximum mingling will ensue. We went to their campus, which is situated inside the upper–middle class neighborhood of San Lorenzo Village near the row of old–rich villages of Bel–air, Forbes, and Dasmariñas.

 

When the encounter started, Gomez, a handsome 6-footer classmate of mine, was immediately clobbered with girls coming from different angles – they attacked him like vicious lions chasing an African deer. They try all sorts of ploy and flirt moves just to get his attention. It was like he found the power ring in the Lord of the Rings and used it to trap these women. Average–looking male teenagers, like me, were reduced to speaking to, well, average-looking (to whom?) females – so much for maximum mingling.

 

Gomez isn’t exceedingly witty, funny, rich or intelligent but he has something that is more precious in today’s media hungry world – a beautiful face and body. The assumption college encounter is my shining first–hand example of the power of beauty. We tell others that we are looking for a great personality, yet deep inside we know that if our date is ugly we will not see that person again, unless that person brings something else of equal value to the table. Reminds me of an old dating joke I vaguely remembered:

 

A man goes out on a blind date.

After the date, his friend asks him “Well, is she beautiful?”

The man averted her eyes slowly, then answered: “She is kind.”

 

In high school I went to, I observed a physical attractiveness pattern. Most ugly students get lower grades, are the last one to be pick in basketball by the member of the class, are blamed most of the time for a trouble they didn’t started, are suspended a lot, and alone most of the time. On the other hand, handsome students get good grades with the same effort or less of those of ugly students, are varsity player or president of a club, get excused most of the time for starting trouble, never suspended, and have lots of friends. And of course there are us, the average blokes, en masa.

 

But these are the teenagers I’m talking about – kids who are unsure of their identity. Perhaps we have outgrown our beauty stereotype as mature adults?

 

This was what my view when I was younger. When I was in 3rd grade, I wake up early just so that I can sell newspaper at dawn. I used the money to watch pre–EDSA revolution protest. My mother found out about this, and exiled me to Isabela. I always wonder as a kid, what has caused all this trouble, that even I, a kid, was affected.

 

There is only one word for the cause: charisma. The dictator Ferdinand Marcos has been gifted with a charisma like no other Philippines president. He took his charismatic power and run with it like there’s no tomorrow – even my mother who live to witness the horrors of martial law, up to this day, lament how great Philippines when Marcos was in power.

 

What is exactly is this elusive charisma that has skipped most of the population? I was present both at the acceptance speech of Estrada at Quirino Grand Stand, and the triumphant oath taking of Arroyo at Ortigas during EDSA 2 – and I can say in earnest, that Joseph Estrada has a fair amount of it, Macapagal–Arroyo/Ramos in smaller dosage and Cory Aquino almost none (up to this day, whenever I see her, all I can remember is her monotonous tone voice).

 

Charisma is an inborn trait and has many elements. You can aspire for it, but like singing, you can only do so much. Take for example one of its component, stage presence. Almost always, the stage talent for charming others starts really young through singing, impersonating, dancing, or simply showing off. Gradually it becomes staging for friends, family, then adolescent girls, then taking the podium for a bigger crowd.

 

Another element of charisma is the innate clock for timing. Charismatic singers have this natural ability to sing the right note at the right place, right pitch, and right time that send shivers down our spines. Charismatic comedian don’t strain for laughs, they surprise us with a punch line so surprising, that we don’t know what hits us after our throat are sore from laughing. Charismatic politicians and religious leader, have this knack for building the drama, the waves keep getting bigger and bigger, that when the climax do happen, we follow them to whatever heaven or hell they takes us.

 

But charisma’s first and most powerful element is beauty. Whoever has beauty and the other piece of the charisma puzzle is certain of power.

 

What is beautiful in human figure anyway? Can it be measured ala Golden proportion of the ancient Greeks (Plato, etc.), and Renaissance (Da Vinci, etc.l) movement? Is it really in the eye of the beholder? Or as anthropologist, biologist, and evolutionist propose: it’s all in the genes.

 

So which comes first the chicken or the egg? Is it because we perceive that beautiful people are good? Or is it because most of them are good in the first place, we form the belief? Descartes says that you become what you think. But could it also be true that you become what others think of you?

 

It is quite possible that beautiful children, having been treated as “good” and lovable from a very young age, will grow up viewing themselves the same way, and behave accordingly. Conversely, a less attractive child, after being continually treated as "bad" and unlovable, becomes what they see themselves, and they will start to behave as told. Thus, the beautiful becomes more confident, and more confident is more beautiful.

 

But could it be also possible that people whom we like, we perceive as beautiful?

 

Hitler, has massacred millions of Jews on the basis of them not being genetically beautiful. And, what of the latest debate, whether genetic engineering is ethical or not. Will we get our body parts from stem cells, so as to prolong ones life and aid in our never-ending quest for youth and beauty? Will there comes a time when humans will be discriminated on the basis of the beauty of their genetic sequencing, that no make-up or plastic surgery can hide, putting to death the debate on nature versus nurture?

 

Politicians know the power of beauty. Ferdinand Marcos, Joseph Estrada, Gloria Macapagal Arroyo won partly because they are good–looking. The Great Heroes: Rizal, Jaena, the Lunas, and Ninoy are all good-looking. I remember my late great grandfather, who was in his rocking chair, tells the story of the famous Kennedy–Nixon debates. People listening on the radio thought Richard Nixon had won while those watching TV thought the handsome John F. Kennedy won. This is why showbiz and news personality are entering politics by the dozens. The better looking candidate almost always wins. No matter how much the naysayer refute it - its politics by personality.

 

It’s a Most Handsome Takes All Contest world. Imagine for a moment you are a personnel manager, who is interviewing two woman job applicants with equal qualification but different physical attractiveness (the other one is beautiful). Who will you hire? Who will you give a higher starting salary to? Who will you pay more in the long–term? Who will you predict to be more successful? Except in the case of hiring a maid, wherein your husband is a known sex fiend, I predict you would pick the more beautiful.

 

The charismatic Michael Jordan certainly did get the job. I took up basketball because of Michael Jordan. I trained and ached in a summer basketball camp; pick–up the ball everyday in the adjacent street where I grew up as a teenager; shoot hoops with my tongue sticking out during physical education class, recess, and school intersection competitions; fade away jump shoot during summer and Christmas season inter–Barangay for four years; competed using switching hand moves at the Barangay summer league in Baguio. I want to be like Mike. I want Jordan’s shoes and his number – I watched every game awed by his acrobatic aerial ballet unlike any other.

 

Jordan has more endorsement than any sports personality I’ve known, and no doubt the greatest basketball player in the 20th century, yet would he have been as charismatic if he looks like his contemporary Patrick Ewing? Why is Anna Kournikova, who is ranked 37th in women's tennis, and has never won a major singles championship, makes millions more dollars from endorsements than players ranked higher. Yao Ming is not the first and only Chinese in NBA, yet why is Batir or Wang, his fellow countrymen, unknown? Why Kobe Bryant who has almost dancing when playing, have tons of international products on his portfolio, while Tim Duncan who moves are so businesslike, has just one or two? Why is David Beckham, an average English professional soccer player, a million dollar football franchise unto himself, and is known internationally as far away as China, than player better than him?

 

It’s because beautiful people excites us, touch our emotions – and we would perform acts that we wouldn’t otherwise do under normal circumstances. Want to move like Jordan? Buy his very expensive shoes. Want to be James Bond, women want to be with him? Sip martini, shaken not stired. Want the confidence of KC Concepcion? Ladies buy PH Care.

 

I am scared and awed by the breathtaking effect of beauty.

 

Some people will follow the very beautiful to the depths of hell, and back – they’ll offer their soul, their fortune, their being. It’s a tremendous frightening power. I saw barfights because of a beautiful woman, and scandalous catfights because of a handsome bachelor – as friends, brothers, sisters, and family members become bitter rivals.

 

Even the greatest minds of humanity have been inspired by the power of beauty. In Homer’s epic Illiad, Paris, the prince for Troy, stole the very beautiful Greek queen Helen, and because of this set off a chain of event that led to a catastrophic Greek–Trojan war that lasted for more than a decade and led to the destruction of Troy. In the Old Testament, the angels themselves was tempted by the beauty of some human females and led to their downfall; King David moral took a plunge, when he send to the frontline of war the husband of the very beautiful Batsheba, so that he can have her; Samson sleep with the very attractive enemy Delilah that led to his death.

 

Shakespeare wrote how the beauty of Cleopatra of Egypt, affected virtues Anthony of Julius Ceasar’s Rome. Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice, showed how Elizabeth Bennet’s beauty attracted Mr. Darcy, a man of money, property, connections – and how she remains in power despite all of Mr. Darcy’s affluence.

 

The double–edge sword of beauty, not only manifest in the ancient but also in the contemporary. In the true–to–life movie Catch Me If You Can, con man Frank Abagnale, was able to pull an International multimillion–dollar bank fraud, ranging from Israel to France to the whole USA to Singapore. He did it all as a teenager. Like Marcos and Erap, he is good–looking. Frank Abagnale story mirrors real–life humans justice system who favors the beautiful – they have a lower bail, have lower sentence, and most likely to be pronounce not guilty. We trust beautiful people. A residue of our childhood fairy tale –wherein the villains are always ugly, the heroes are always handsome.

 

So it is given that most, though not all, beautiful people are treated better as children by parents and teachers, get higher grades, have fewer rejections in dating life, likely to be accepted in a job, has higher salary, can sell a lot more product, is likely to be voted, receive more fame in sports, and showbiz, and is a better criminal.

 

But, I blurted to myself loudly, maybe it is not so for everyday situation – like when someone need some help, surely some will be helpful regardless of looks. Looking for something interesting on the cable television, I flick the remote control, and came to a stop at a news channel – it’s showing an informal experiment from ABC news.

 

The program showed scenes wherein a woman stood helplessly next to a car whose hood is up and without gas. The first scene is of a plain looking woman, the second scene is of a beautiful woman. Both women wore the same outfit. In the first scene, few pedestrians stopped and those who stop suggest only where she could get a gasoline. But for second scene, cars came screeching to a halt. More than a dozen cars stopped and six people went to get her gas.

 

I spoke too soon.

 

When I was in college, my friends and I have this informal game called sinong coño? The object of the game is to tell what the social class of an incoming male freshman is. I score the most points, because of a fact I’ve always known. While my buddies’ strategy is to look at a person’s clothes, I on the other hand look at the person’s woman’s companion first then look at other variables later.

 

Since most men are average looking, their company is a tell-tale clue of their standing in life.

 

A man who is average looking, who appeared with a beautiful woman or good-looking crowd is usually an upper class. A person who is alone is at least a middle class because the bourgeois is always self-conscious. While those who hang with an ugly girl are usually but not always poor.

 

The reason why this is true, is encapsulated in the old maxim:

birds of the same feather flock together or Similarity Effect or Matching Hypothesis in social psychology.

We gravitate towards those who are similar to us.

 

But since our society is albeit patriarchal, the same is not true for women

– most flaunt their beauty to find a good catch instead – like a rich guy.

I know this isn't a politically correct statement (sorry to the feminist our there),

but I'm will not apologize for stating the truth, what is really happening.

 

This led me to formulate Theory of Compensation: "We gravitate towards those who are similar to us,

but if we want what’s lacking with ourselves, we compensate with what is lacking in the others.

 

Beauty and the Best

 

Your beauty for my money.

Your beauty for my beauty.

Your talent for my beauty.

Your beauty for my honey.

 

The rich marry the rich.

The beautiful marry the beautiful.

 

Beauty married the Beast with a Castle.

[hilong_talilong]

hmmm...kaya nainlab ang mga beautiful women na ito sa mga "physically challenge" na guys eh kasi sila yung hindi mataas ang ego...

 

eto nga lang week nag attend ako sa kasal ng pinsan ng fren ko and guess what ang sama talaga mukha ng guy.....kaya nya pinakasalan dahil nabuntis nya kasi yung gurl (take note itong lalaki playboy pa)

 

naka suwerte yung guy dahil yung asawa nya sya ang una at huling bf.....tsk tsk tsk....post ko yung pic kung ok lang sa mod

[honeybitch]

hmmm...kaya nainlab ang mga beautiful women na ito sa mga "physically challenge" na guys eh kasi sila yung hindi mataas ang ego...

 

eto nga lang week nag attend ako sa kasal ng pinsan ng fren ko and guess what ang sama talaga mukha ng guy.....kaya nya pinakasalan dahil nabuntis nya kasi yung gurl (take note itong lalaki playboy pa)

 

naka suwerte yung guy dahil yung asawa nya sya ang una at huling bf.....tsk tsk tsk....post ko yung pic kung ok lang sa mod

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

e nasan anag pic?

[zencalix]

meron kami ka batch dati sa college... tawag namin dun sa guy, miracle boy!! kasi yung GF nya, matangkad, sexy at maganda pa! everytime dumadaan sila na magkaholding hands, lahat ng tao nagtitinginan tapos umiiling!

 

happily married na sila ngayon the last time i heard... take note selosa pa yung girl ha?! hehehe... swerte talaga ng batchmate ko na yun!

 

[mongoloid]

most of the time, it's financial

[Toothless]

Magaling ka palang sumulat... :goatee:

 

Nice Article... :cool:

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

'Aba may nakapansin pala sa sinulat ko,

Maraming salamat shadowfang

 

Kung may nagustuhan mo ang Beauty and the Best,

baka magustuhan mo rin itong iba pang article na sinulat ko:

 

Nearness

http://manilatonight.com/index.php?showtopic=15665&st=320

- tungkol ito sa Long Distance Relationship

 

Fog

http://manilatonight.com/index.php?showtop...8entry2716448

- heto, maikling kuwento naman tungkol naman sa experience ko sa adultery

(R-18 nga lang topic, kaso medyo erotic eh)

[aleena®]

kaya nga fall e...

 

if its really falling, you'll never know why... thats the magic of it.

 

but if you can justify it, its not falling -- its choosing! :evil:

[rbtmnl]

a very pretty friend told me that she chose her ugly boyfriend kasi she felt na he would be faithful. e kaso, babaero pala kasi he had to prove to himself that kahit ganoon ang itsura niya, marami siyang makuhang mga babae. haha.

[ryuxxx]

nahhhhh!!!!!!!! money talks now a days some women fall for ugly man for the reason na they are rich............ :evil:

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

It's not the money per se, it's what money does to a person that makes him more "viable"... money often comes with breeding, which I think is the real key to it. Good breeding simply makes a better person. Winning the Lotto will bring you the cash but doesn't make you sexy in a day. It comes later (hopefully) if you know where to put your money.

[aleena®]

a very pretty friend told me that she chose her ugly boyfriend kasi she felt na he would be faithful.  e kaso, babaero pala kasi he had to prove to himself that kahit ganoon ang itsura niya, marami siyang makuhang mga babae.  haha.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

 

 

really? so, the song HUMANAP KA NG PANGET aint true at all?

but this idea makes sense anyway.

[rbtmnl]

really? so, the song HUMANAP KA NG PANGET aint true at all?

but this idea makes sense anyway.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

it was not true in the case of my friend.

[zencalix]

really? so, the song HUMANAP KA NG PANGET aint true at all?

but this idea makes sense anyway.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

 

actually nakakatawa yung song pero may point sya... just imagine if your GF/BF e super duper gwapo/maganda... maraming magiging interested sa kanila and you will always be "praning"!!

[Lingerie_girL]

uuuhhhmmnn...for me,kasi nakikita yung effort nung mga ugly guys kayse don sa mas may itsura......tsaka mas faithful, syempre wala halos nagkakagusto...hehehehe.....pero meron din mga ugly na magaling lang mambola....palagay ko,depende rin sa diskarte ng guys eh..... :*

[curian]

i agree with lingerie girl... tingin ko, diskarte lang yan...

[Rock Your Body]

Nako akala ko ako lang nakapansin ang dami na rin pala. Ako nga rin napapaisip kung bakit. Pero ang one sure ako is mga ugly guys ang nagmamahal ng tapat sa kahit sinong girls. Maganda man o panget bastat they are into personalities or good qualities. Yun ang nakakaturn on sa girls sa mga ugly guys na nila nakita yung ideal guy and dream boy nila. Kasi ang mga gwapo usually mga badboy and playboy. So ano nangyayari sa mga magagandang girls? eh di nasisira lang ang buhay nila papaiyakin pa sila.