kjyo

Lonely Eyes - Lauv

i will tire: of you, and of everything. it’s just a matter of which surrenders first; my already addled mind, or my lust.

don’t worry. i’ll get over you too.

i want to see how much suffering a man can bear before his soul completely shatters; but with his will to live still somewhat intact. just to see those lifeless and purposeless eyes stare back at the mirror,

i’m a selfish piece of shit. but i revel in tragedies; especially mine. …guess there’s a bigger side to my masochism than i thought.

i’m done with this dependence.

cotton twill fabric. looking to experiment with more, …i’m entering that weird phase of consumerism again.

these food for thought won’t satisfy the hunger you crave.

i hope she’s ok… they’re ok actually. i hope it’s just paranoia and overthinking brought by the lack of sleep that’s telling me that there’s something off about this radio silence.

given time, …i will learn to unlearn you.

there’s something about a tired but well-fucked woman that inflates your ego.

got one of her favorite dishes from a store nearby. it’s bland. it didn’t taste like this when she was here,

i fear i may have gotten a glimpse of a life that may have been- a fork in the path to a road not taken that now haunts me so vividly. ”…what if?”

got tricked into purchasing a fake our legacy demon jacket. comes with the territory in taking chances when purchasing things online- it sucks still though. the one good thing about this experience is it fits me well, and i can use this jacket as a pattern. mybrainischurningagain.

…but i know she’ll be reading this, so let me tell her this; i’ll miss you: but i’ll see you again. taga mo sa bato. don’t you worry.

saw her off- and for all my moxie; i wasn’t able to kiss her goodbye.

whoever the hell prayed for me must be a saint or something because that didn’t take long.

i have to come to terms that i’m not a priority in her endeavors; i exist as a convenience. that and among other things,

accidentally sprayed mold cleaner on my work pants. damn thing faded instantly. hahahaha.

man eaters. as they’ll chew you up and spit you out; literally and figuratively. buti’llvolunteerastribute.

“promises are meant to be broken.” a rare surprise.

damn. smooth like butter. and to the topic; this post.

masaya ka ba? wrong question, i’ve learned to pretend for the sake of duty.

i guess reality hasn’t sinked in yet; but it will, and when it does- it’s going to hit me like a punch in the gut.

humans are the totality of the choices they make, i try to live my life as a testimony; but to what- i’m still trying to find out. i may just be an excerpt in your story; but i will change the plot to what’s already written and all that’s soon to be.