Posted 14 April 2004 - 06:34 PM
help me to spread Your fragrance everywhere I go. possess my whole being so utterly that all my life may only be a radiance of Yours. shine through me and be so in me, that every soul I come in contact with, may feel Your presence in my soul let them look up and see no longer me -- but only Jesus.
Posted 19 April 2004 - 11:18 PM
I've been wanting to write you but it has just been more convenient to talk to you. But I'm sure, like me, you love receiving letters ... in this case fan mail. I meant to write to you yesterday but I found myself in a situation too painful to write, too painful to put words to. I'm sorry.
I don't know the things you have planned and I try my best to graciously embrace the corner you have carved for me. It's just been very difficult lately but I never questioned you. You have given me a special gift of knowledge and discernment that sometimes hurts me more than I think I can carry.
Thank you for the allowances you afford me. Thank you for the big and small things you send my way to remind me that you will never give up on me. Thank you for sending them in the form of family, friends, strangers who care. Thank you for the tears you give me to replace the things life takes away. Thank you for the smiles and the giggles which lighten my spirit.
Please do not keep me broken for long, I have people who need me. I have daughters to be a good mother to, I have a family to be a good daughter and sister to, I have friends who will need my strength someday.
Lastly for today, thank you for that ember of hope tonight. Please guide him and walk with him. I hope you lead him to where he truly belongs even if it means it isn't the road home to me.
Please grant me the strength I need when one dream dies. I love you God, please don't let me go.
Posted 19 April 2004 - 11:45 PM
My Guardian dear
To whom God's love
Commits me here
Ever this day
Be at my side
To light and guard
Rule and guide
Posted 20 April 2004 - 11:36 PM
Just a quick note before I sleep, thank you for today. Things aren't normal yet but thank you for that little semblance.
Thank you for my daughters and family. They have been so good to me. Thank you for well meaning friends, they have been so helpful. Thank you for the promise you kept, whichever way this goes now I will always be grateful for this dream you gave me.
Please continue to guide him God, he needs your help.
Posted 21 April 2004 - 11:59 AM
Posted 22 April 2004 - 12:44 AM
Thank you for today. Really really. Gosh I sound like a kid don't I? Well you know that I still am one even if I'm like a third of a century old and have two kids.
Thanks for the gazillion meetings today that went well. Most especially that last meeting ... thank you for making my client arrive on time and thank you for the bloodless, short meeting!
Thank you for making the lil angel well, the fever is gone although she's still got that funny froggy, croaky voice due to the cough and cold. Thank you for making me closer to my eldest daughter these past few days. Thank you for making her the way she is, thank you for giving her the resilience and understanding needed having a mom like me. She is just so wonderful! Thanks too for making her not feel awkward anymore when I hug her and kiss her lots!
Thank you for friends who stood by me, holding my hand through my darkest hours. Thank you for people who don't really know me from a bar of soap but offered a prayer, a wish, a kind word. Thank you for reminding me how good it is to be alive.
Thank you for guiding him. I don't know what happened in the last 72 hours but whatever it is please continue to guide him.
Please also continue to humble me so I may not forget what it is like to be in need. That I may be able to offer the same kindness I have been shown to those who are hurting.
Thank you for giving me the ability to dream and to keep the dream alive.
Posted 22 April 2004 - 07:15 AM
Thank you for being with me in every step of this journey; for the affirmations I received from a complete stranger; for the truth in the past; the choice to do otherwise (and that leopards can change its spots); for the infinite optimism, hope, commitment and passion to follow my dreams the source of which is your love for me and everyone on this world I live in. Thank you for kindling my fire and may I burn fiercely in this life I live. Amen.
Posted 22 April 2004 - 10:17 AM
Posted 22 April 2004 - 11:11 PM
A quick note before I tune off to the world. Let me just repeat a lil prayer my angels and I pray each night (from a whole long list of prayers! hehe) .... "God, thank you for today and may tomorrow be a beautiful day like today. Amen."
He hasn't been sleeping too well at nights, I suspect because he is filled with all these "what ifs." Please do continue to guide him God. I want him to be truly happy and if the guidance you give reveals not the road home to me then I will embrace it.
But for now, I will enjoy the excellent weather. Good night God.
p.s. Oh, I would really appreciate it if you could expedite my visa.
Posted 24 April 2004 - 12:25 AM
You know why I am worried tonight. Let's just keep it our secret. I know that whatever you decide to bless us with you also have the right to take back. Please prepare me well for the day you have to take him back. I have never questioned your better judgement God and I will not question you on this one. Just keep me strong, gracious and magnanimous. Please do not make me a jaded or bitter person should my worst nightmare come to fruition. Please continue to let me be the person I am, a lot of people depend on me and you do know that I am doing a good job in fulfilling my role in their lives. I'm doing good God, please allow me to continue doing so.
Thank you for the fresh air I had today with friends, it has been a while since I managed to feel this light. More importantly, thank you very much for that encouragement I needed when I was on the verge of giving up tonight.
I have learned much the past 6 days, please continue to make me see the good things in the face of all hurt and sadness. I know if I pull through this with him there can be nothing that can shake us anymore. It can only but deepen the love and commitment.
So let me end my fan mail to you with the same prayer the girls and I say ... Thank you for today and may tomorrow be a beautiful day like today. Amen.
Edited by Lipstick, 01 May 2004 - 01:59 AM.
Posted 24 April 2004 - 01:08 AM
It has been a while since I last wrote to you didnt I? Remember I would write them and send them to you by burning them so that the smoke can reach you? I almost stopped talking to you when I went through years of hell with you-know-who but you have kept me under your care. I never even questioned you when you took the one man that I've loved with all of my heart, my beautiful dad on earth, so soon because I realized that you needed him there with you already.
There was a point in my life that I wished I didnt wake up the following morning too, remember that? That with everything that has happened in my life, I was so sure that it would end quickly for me and soon, if I had done something good somehow.... especially after that breast cancer scare..... but I'm glad im made of sterner stuff and that my Dad taught me well so everytime I wake up and every year that I add to my life, I'm thankful.
Well, I am facing personal fears again and at a time when everything is really going well for me now. You have always taken care of my needs. I have been good and patient in waiting for whatever you supply, right?
Please let this be nothing. Just a burp in my life again. I know that whatever it is, I will never go down without a fight. But spare my friends and loved ones the pain. Especially him. The one man I never thought would arrive.
You have given me this chance and I know I have tried to do all that you need me to do. You will not take it away from me, will you? I have never asked for anything for myself and I am scared to start now. Just give me the strength that I need to face this.
Posted 24 April 2004 - 03:48 AM
My only regret is that I didn't become a Christian sooner.
I didn't have you in my life when I needed you many
I wish I had known more about the Bible and had read it.
It could have made a big difference, all the difference.
Now I cultivate my faith by reading Scripture (the Bible)
I'm convinced that god is with me 24 - 7
and pray to him this day and every day
and thank him for every thing for i know with out him i am lost
thank you for you're love
Posted 24 April 2004 - 04:23 AM
I need You.
Thank you for dying on the cross for my sins.
I open the door of my heart to You and ask You to forgive me of my sins and make me the person You want me to be. Amen
Posted 24 April 2004 - 08:30 AM
Give my friend a safe trip...
Posted 24 April 2004 - 09:00 AM
and let your light shine upon us always. Amen
Lord, forgive me for all my transgressions...
Posted 24 April 2004 - 09:05 AM
Posted 24 April 2004 - 09:09 AM
Amen. Peace to every one. May you continue to shower your graces on every one in the Universe. May your love and graces shine always. Amen.
THI IS MY PRAYER TODAY-
PEACE TO ALL MANKIND
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