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"Hindi Sabaw"

 

Habang nagbabasa ng mga gintong aral at karanasan dito, inagaw ng isang dilag ang pansin ko.

 

Walang takot siyang nagbahagi ng kanyang opinyon sa isang paksang aking sinusubaybayan. Napatingin ako sa kanyang litrato -- "aba puwede", sabi ko.

 

Nagsulat kaagad ako ng mensahe para sa kanya. Sa wikang ingles ko binanatan para may dating. Baka sakaling madagdagan ng puntos.

 

Laking tuwa ko nang siya'y sumagot. Maikli lang pero ayos na kaysa wala. Binanatan din ako ng matinding ingles. Nagpapakitang gilas din siguro siya. Mahusay siya sa pagbitaw ng wikang ingles at pilipino. Medyo malibog din siya, pero yung rerespetuhin mo.

 

Usap, usap. Tanong dito, sagot dun. May laman ang kanyang mga mungkahi. Hindi sabaw tulad ng iba. Bihira ang ganitong babae, sa aking opinyon.

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http://imagizer.imageshack.us/a/img922/6632/59lKKJ.jpg

Pagtangi panatilihin sa pamamagitan

Ng mga litrato na magsisilbing alaala

At kailanman hindi ipipikit ang mga mata

Upang ang puso’y hindi kailanman

magiging sawi, bagkus, patatatagin

pa ito ng panahon

Itago mo ako sa bulsa ng iyong

sirang maong na pantalon

At ilapit mo ako hanggang

Sa magtagpo ang ating mga mata

At sa pagbabalik ko, hindi ka na

mapag-iisa

11:11 pm

 

Moonflower

03/06/16

Adaptation from the

Song “Photograph"

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Confession of a Chronic Heartbreak Lady

 

 

‘Let go of the childlike notion that falling in love means finding someone who will be responsible for your happiness. You need to take responsibility for your own happiness.’

 

This was my friend’s guiding principle in searching for the man of his life. But somehow this led her to everything, but the dream ring. After numerous failed relationships, she had surmised that love indeed is a crap. Or so she thought…

 

Every time she thought she felt it, she would come to me and fondly talk about the man. Her eyes would sparkle and her cheeks would blush with every word she uttered in praise of that man. Then for just a few weeks thereafter, she would giggly declare ‘this is it’ and they would be off to a short period of hibernation. But alas! she would always come back crying and her world was virtually doomed. And the never-ending journey in the search for the promise of living ‘happily ever after’ went on.

 

In retrospect, I would almost always evaluate what could have gone wrong, and always ended up with more questions than answers. There was nothing wrong with her- she’s an epitome of a ‘beauty and brain’ specie. She had an enormous charm that could sweep any guy off their feet, and she’s a woman of substance who could converse intelligently any topic under the sun. But somehow she keeps falling for the wrong men at the wrong time. Every time she shed tears and nursed fears, these would make her sturdier. She would re-discover the world as a rejuvenated person with high hopes as ever, not unlike a pliant bamboo. Yes, she was tenacious and relentless. Then the same thing would happen again, and the vicious cycle continues…

 

Finally, the last straw that broke the camel’s back was an nth affair- a forbidden one. The guy promised (again) the moon and the stars, and she being the gullible hopeless romantic that she was, had mistaken this fire for the pure love and companionship. It turned out that the guy was very much married. But ‘twas too late. The immoral affair bore them a child out of wedlock. This time I cried with her, the pain pierced thru my heart and it was unbearable, as she was close there, yes in my heart…

 

Soon enough, she had given up on love! Her inherent ability to dig up optimism from a well instantly dried up. All of a sudden, she would declare that love is just a crap. And tears once again welled from my eyes, not only because of the pain but also of the hope lost. I told her ‘never say never again,’ and in time everything will be fine. But it just fell on deaf ears. She was devastated. For her, hope is just a waking dream…

 

Her intense distrust serving as a barrier, a formidable self defense, she had formed resolve that won’t let anyone cause her that much misery and that she won’t subject herself to that kind of pain anymore, ever. Thus, when a persistent Romeo came to her life to apparently save her out of the doldrums, and was willing to give her the ring- it was painfully hard. On the day he presented her the one thing that she had ever wanted- a marriage, all she had mustered to tell the guy was: “Kung pakakasalan mo ako dahil naaawa ka lamang sa akin ay ‘wag mo na lamang ituloy at mas mabuting kalimutan mo na lamang ako.”

 

Romeo was tenacious and relentless, just like her before she gave up on love. And as fate would have it, she finally nodded in approval and took him as her husband (after so many years of tribulations). They finally marched together into the aisle, amidst the deafening applause of friends, respective family members, and acquaintances who witnessed the milestone- he was 43, she 39. It wasn’t too late, after all- she gave on love a long time ago, but love would not give up on her. Love after all, in all its crappiness, is for real!!!

 

That Romeo was none other than me and the erstwhile heartbreak lady was my friend, also now my Juliet, my love…We’re living a blissful life for fifteen (15) years now; and have three children, or shall I say four children…

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I have been wondering for so long

What has happened, where did we go wrong

Days have turned to weeks and months

Even in years that passed it is you I still want

 

Prayer afer prayer I wished for you

That you may return and take away the blues

I fear that the heavens never answered me

Because 'till now you are in a place I could not see

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LBM (Love Bug Memoirs)

 

My thoughts are free to go anywhere, but it's surprising how often they head in your direction. Pakshet! Ikaw na naman ang nasa kukote ko

 

Lahat naman tayoy may bahagi sa buhay natin na kelangan na talagang mag-pamilya. Kung kelan, depende `yun sa threshold ng tiyaga sa paghahanap sa nararapat para sa `yo. Kapag daw kumabog ang iyong dibdib sa una ninyong pagkikita, she may be it. Yung iba payo nila `marry the one who loves you, and everything else follows.' You are in-lab na daw kapag `You don't give a damn' sa mga patungkol sa iyong bebeloves; o kayay kapag you turn to your true friends and tell them when shes around, thats her (sheet! Inlab ka na parekoy) - kanya nga siguro lab is blaynd, he he!

 

Then I started to reminisce: Hinugot ko mula sa ating mga masasayang alaala ang iyong mukha. Sinubukan kong iukit sa buhangin ang iyong maamong mukha, pero wala akong nagawa kundi gumuhit ng isang blankong mukha. Walang ilong, mata, tenga, kilay,buhok at bibig. Blame it on my drawing prowess. Di talaga ako kasinghusay sa pagdrowing kaysa pagsusulat. Basta masaya ang ating mga alaala, kanya mahirap i-drowing.

 

At pagkahaba-haba man ng prusisyon, heto at redi na kami ni BebeKo na makipag-exchange gifts ng singsing sa isa't-isa. Pag naisuot na sa kin `yung wedding ring, malamang maraming holdaper na ang magkakainteres na lagariin ang daliri ko. Redi na nga ang lahat. Church preparations. Hotel rooms. Reception. Wedding cake, Souvenirs, etc etc. Heto na nga `yung moment na sinasabi kong kumakalabukab na kakabakaba ang pakiramdam- Diz is it, Its Showtime!

 

Nakatayo na ako sa harap ng altar ng cathedral habang hinihintay ang bride na si BebeKo. Di ko madescribe `yung pakiramdam. Basta halo-halong emotions: senti, may kaba, parang nauutot na parang kakabagin atbp. Nagrerebolusyon nga `yung tiyan ko, para ngang gustong makipag-chat sa akin pampalipas oras. "Ngowwrk! Ngerk! Iutot mo na ako please". Siraulong tiyan, ayaw makipagcooperate, may sarili yatang mundo. Inaliw ko na lang muna ang sarili na magmuni-muni kesa ibulsa ang kamay, maglakad habang nagyoyosi at walang patutunguhan, o kausapin si bespren. Heto ang mga laman ng isip ko (habang pigil pa rin ang pag-utot):

 

1. Dapat sinusunod ang mga nakatatanda. Alala ko noon, sabi ni Lola, "Apo wag kang titikim ng mani, nakakaadik yan". Kala ko bluff, may malalim palang kahulugan `yun. Kaya ng makatikim nga ako `nyun, dun ko lang naintindihan ang wisdom ni Lola. Aba'y totoo nga, nakakaadik nga.

2. Walang tabo sa hotel. Pag umebak, pedeng gamitin ang tumbler ng Tokyo Tokyo, Burger King, o McDonald's bilang tabo. Ingatan ang tabo. Kung hindi, mawawala ito at makikitang gamit-gamit ng room boy na humihigop ng malamig na orange juice.

3. Huwag mangulangot sa simbahan dahil kelangang makipag-sheyk hands sa pari pagkatapos ng misa. Lalong hindi dapat mangulangot dahil kelangang hawakan ang pisngi ng bride pag sinabi na ng pari ang `You may now kiss the bride'.

Mamya, tumunog na `yung pinto ng cathedral hudyat ng pagbubukas. Sa labas, putukan ang fireworks (di sa amin `yun, may celebration yata sa labas). Espesyal dahil si bespren, isang dabest na kaibigan ang nagbukas ng pinto. Tan-tan-tanan! Tan-tan-tanan! dahan-dahang nagmodel-modelan si BebeKo sa aisle ng simbahan. Muntik ko nang di makilala, kasi mukang racoon `yung mata sa meyk up. Kala ko tuloy sa ibang kasalan ako napadpad (joke lang). Pero seriousli, iba pala talaga ang pakiramdam ng kinakasal- parang nauutot lang, he he!

 

Nung gabing `yun, nadiskubre kong may tear duct pala ako. Kunyari naman napuwing ako kaya nagpunas ng panyo. Sobrang mahal ko `tong babaeng `to. Ay lab ebriting abawt her. `Yung pagyakap niya. Pagsimangot. Paghalik. Smile pa lang niya, ulam ko na. Hindi ko alam kung ano nakita nya sa `kin (besides pagkakaroon ng mahabangpasensya!) para mahalin din nya ako. Everything is a puzzle. In this lifetime, somebody's waiting to complete you pala. At finally eto na nga, lintik na pag-ibig yan!

 

Habang inip na akong hinihintay ang kanyang paglabas mula sa CR ng aming honeymoon hotel, nasambit ko ng pabulong: "Buksan mo naman na yang kubeta sa iyong dibdib ,Para maipasok ko na itong nagtatae kong pag-ibig."

I love you BebeKo and I always will- forever, and the days after forever! Ang sarap mo kasi...nang iyung pagmamahal

Edited by artedpro
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  • 3 weeks later...

Alas life is beautiful,

So go out there and make your own.

A heart is worth the weight in plenty gold stone.

But remember Uncle Eliseo,

Like a sunflower, bow to the sun.

But not too low lest it means your life has gone.

Live life like it's meant to be,

Know the most necessary, are the things that are not.

'Nyeta, the only mad people are who think themselves free of such scot.

 

 

-MC

-Credit also to 'Life is Beautiful' for the inspiration

 

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0831 (inspired by a vampire themed movie)


My throat is clogging out,

i can't swallow you in my mouth.

To drink your blood is i desire,

you'll scream a lot, I'll make you cry.


It's like having dreams watching you sleep.

Let's climb up high to the top of that peak.

I'll carry you in my world today,

I can't resist to see you everyday.


Your hair, it smells like the cold.

Made me lived, let my blood flow.

I was built in ice but you set me on fire,

this skin is burning to make you mine.


Your blood is my refuge and life,

I don't know how to live forever without you by my side.

This lullaby will be played in the moon.

I hope you will agree, to marry me soon....

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"Retribution" | A full moon in April

 

 

She clung to the bed as the sullen man turned into a beast above her. Pain, sweet pain, a reminder of her vulnerability, the key to her power. A flick of the eyelashes, a little twist of hair, a millimeter of teeth showing while she bit her lips. This is her revenge.

 

An exquisite view.

Beads of sweat.

A torrent of howling breaths.

Arched backs.

 

His muscles tensed with every heave. He held her with liters of regret pumping strong in his veins. For the what should have been. Deep, swift, and rough, like the retribution of a mad earth on innocent creatures. Taming the wildflower into this delicate lily. Every inch in pain, sweet pain.

 

A rush of hushed spirits.

Souls whimpering,

A thousand curses through the night.

Voices echoing,

A million needles in a fiery wave

Of pain, sweet pain.

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  • 2 weeks later...

"Aegri Somnia" | 5.10.2016 - Sinestro MTC

 

Memory is a fickle thing.

You forget what you try recalling,

You remember when you try forgetting.

 

It leaves a hole in the living,

Fills the void for the dying.

 

But what madness it is,these

Memories,

Like a sick man's dream

 

When the mind wanders to days yonder

Makes the heart split asunder.

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BERTDEY

 

Kay bigat ng aking mga hakbang habang ako’y papalayo. Bawat hakbang ay tila dagundong na tumutulig sa aking katinuan. Tuloy-tuloy ang aking paglalakad at kapag daka’y nilingon ko kayo. Kandong ka ng iyong ina, nakatingin ka pa rin sa akin na tila nagtatanong kung saan ako paroroon. Naroong tumingin ka sa taong nagkakalong sa iyo at alam ko naroon ang mga katanungan kung bakit kailangan may luha ang bawat paglisan. Kailangan kong magpatuloy hindi na ako lilingon pang muli dahil baka dalhin ako pabalik ng aking mga paa na durog ang puso na sanhi ng iyong di sinasadyang kawalang malay, ng iyong kamusmusan. Mauunawaan mo rin sa paglipas ng panahon.

 

“Inay babalik pa po ba si itay?”

“Oo, anak.”

“Bakit po ang tagal? Naka ilang bertdey na ako hindi naman sya dumarating.

“May inaasikaso lang yun anak, hamo’t sa susunod na birthday mo darating na yun.”

“Bakit po sabi ng nanay ni Manuel baka daw po nag-asawa na ng iba si itay, totoo po ba yun inay?”

“Hindi yun totoo”

“Inay mainit po ba sa gabi?”

“Hindi naman may electric fan naman tayo ah, bakit mo naitanong?”

“Kasi po, sa twing dumadalaw dito si Mang Nestor naghuhubad kayo pagkatapos nyo mag-usap.”

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On a ‘Trans’ State

 

Isang gabi, Isang silid na walang kitchen

Magkasama tayong nag-check in, and then…

Sa malamig na kwarto at pagsasaluhang kanin

Sa mainit na kape, maya’t mayang halik, at tingin

 

Kanina’y tinanong kita kung dine in or take out

Ang tanging gusto mo ay mag-make out

Nung nakakita ka ng ipis, niyakap mo ko

Ako’y nangiti imbes magreklamo sa Sogo

 

Sabay muna tayong nag-dinner, tayo'y nagsubuan

Sa bilis mong kumain, muntik kang mabilaukan

After brushing your teeth, you turned off the lights

Bulong mo sa'kin, "i'm ready dear hold me tight"

 

Bago humiga at pumikit, tayo muna'y nag-usap

Bago pa man may maalab at maganap na kaysarap

Nang tayo'y mag-kiss, nalunok ko ang iyong chewing gum

Hirit mo sa'kin, Sorry dear am so nervous lang naman

 

Di ko malimutan ang inilabas mong litrato

Parang artista, kamukha yata ni Piolo

Tinanong kita, "Iyan ba'y ex mo?"

Sagot mo, "That's me long time ago"

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post-236230-0-25243500-1462964228.jpg


“Cannabis”



kilala ka


sa tawag na marijuana


halaman ang uri mo


medicinal value ang taglay mo


‘wag ka lang hihithitin


dahil long-term ang epekto mo


iilan lang ang bansa


na naging legal ka


karamihan ay patago


sa bantang makalaboso


walang hanggan ang debate


pwede ka nga bang maging legal o hindi?



01/18/10


12:25 am


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Writing with Music

by: Moon Flower

 

Hieroglyphs are old writing systems

Hieroglyphs as “sacred writing”

Writing forms in Egyptian language

Writing with pen and ink on papyrus

Papyrus as a paper made from plants

Papyrus used by the ancient Egyptians

Egyptians constitute of Egyptian Arabic

Egyptians sharing a common culture

Culture of ancient Egyptians

Culture of Modern World

World of advanced civilization

World of ancient history

History of arts and culture

History of writing and language

Language of ancient Egyptians

Language of ancient Greeks

Greeks held the first Olympic Games

Greeks are people with cultural roots

Roots of the inhabitants

Roots of the civilized people

People tend to experiment

People of interest in life

Life of innovations

Life of mediocre

Mediocre in some ways

Mediocre things over quality

Quality of three-dimensional images

Quality of stunning pictures

Pictures made by laser light

Pictures of projection

Projection in photography

Projection on holograms

Holograms as photographic projections

Holograms as a three-dimensional images

Images that do not simulate spatial depth

Images of three-dimension

Dimension by means of contour lines

Dimension of a kind of dream and space

Space against the wall

Space between the barriers

Barriers that separate rich and poor

Barriers of race and influence

Influence of socio-cultural environment

Influence of principle and discipline

Discipline should be enforced

Discipline the mind through music

Music as one's refuge

Music is the food of love

Love…

Refuge…

 

 

04/29/16

 

Contest: Hieroglyphs and Holograms

Blitz Poetry

Edited by FleurDeLune
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"Buwis: Ugat ng Pighati?"



bagay kang pinagpala


mga gahamang nakatingala


mamamayang nagpupunyagi


walang awang inaapi


buwis na kinakaltas


tuwirang naibubulsa lang


nitong mga buwetreng ganid



ganun ka kung magpaikot


lahat ay sakop mo


tao at bagay saiyo umiinog


pati buong mundo’y alipin mo


di nga ba't ganun ang halaga mo?


di iinog ang mundo kung wala ka?



isa-isahin natin ang sakop mo


di nga ba't mula sa pagsilang,


binyag, pag-aaral, pagkain,


pagdadamit, paghahanapbuhay,


mga luho, alak, regalo,


mga napanalunan, paupahan,


gobyernong local at nasyunal



pagkamatay at pagpalibing


sakop mo pa rin, ganun ka katindi


si Juan Dela Cruz napapangiwi


habang mga negosyante


napapakamot, mga ganid


napapangisi


habang ang inang bayan


nagpipighati…




01/15/10


2:25 am


Edited by Julianda
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"The Pitter Patter Chronicles" |

5.17.2016 by Sinestro MTC

 

Another day, another poem.

For some reason the words

seem to love me much today.

 

When the raindrops whisper

the things you never hear

the words I wish to say.

 

A minute of being happy

another in sad solitude

in these four walls of clay.

 

An echo of your face

A sliver of your scent

In my world

of sullen

 

silent

 

gray.

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Letters we tuck into drawers and never send; a universal letter to lovers.

Most days, I don't think of you. I go through the day unaware of your existence in the universe, filling the familiar aches with books and new records and jogs and new faces. My brain is smart and tries to fool me for a while. For a minute, it almost seems as if you never happened at all until the tiniest thing sets me off. Memory is a cruel thing and sharpest when it needs not be. I check my voicemail and hear a saved message from you, one of you imitating Tom Waits to make me laugh when I checked it after class or work, and I feel my throat close up. Tears fill my eyes and I realize that this will be the last voicemail I ever receive from you; this one doesn't even have an i love you in it, it's just pure Tom Waits impersonation. I end the call and rub my eyes.

I go about my day and put in my headphones as I shop. Shuffle plays me a song that you put on a mix for me and it all begins again. I cry in Target in between the hair care products and the moisturizer and I realize that nothing is over, that my heart, my habits have not caught up with my ever-wise brain. I'm never alone now except when I'm about to fall asleep and I hope each night that I'm so exhausted that I just crash in to my sheets and black out, a pile of tired bone and sinew. I want to shut off my functions so the thoughts in my head don't reach the rest of my body. I don't sleep, I'm unconscious for a few hours a night.

There is something about the absence of someone after a breakup or the end of a romantic entanglement that is felt so deeply, I don't understand it. Even in long distance relationships, the constant comfort of having someone so near to you emotionally leaves a hole inside you. There is a heartwrenching listless feeling that comes and you wander through the day, half of a person. I feel like every time I love someone I give them a part of myself and when things end, I hobble around for a while, missing limbs or an eye, a victim in the the long war we call love. The only comfort is that eventually the parts of themselves they gave to me grow over my wounds and I become a patchwork quilt of my past loves. We're never truly individuals as we are a product of the love and people that shape us. It's the only thought that makes me feel better as I try to forget. I'm trying to forget for now so that soon I can remember and be happy for the love of ours that was.


You are weaved into the fibers of my soul in a way that I cannot describe and I love you still for every breath you take, even if those breaths are no longer for me.

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"Id and Ego" | 5.20.2016 by Sinestro MTC

 

I wake up to whispers in my head

A clash of minds in an immortal melee

Swords crossing, two hands of

The same body

 

Reason fighting for a proclamation

Instinct in a vendetta for revelation;

For if love is a battlefield

Then I've found my Normandy

 

A bloody field of thoughts

Powdered feelings like sand

Where whispers are screams

Every ache a violent explosion

 

Will sleep be ever peaceful again?

Or will this be my Auschwitz...

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