The Mail Box

[bioniczeenger]

my parents have been very good to you even though you are a shitty daughter in law.. an awful wife.. and a very bad mother. how can u act as though u were wronged... before you look at how my dad reacted .. first think of what you have been doing... im really sorry to say that i despise having u as a sister in law... my family did everything to accept u for who u are but u were the one who's being difficult.. and yet after all of this i really dont understand why my family still pray for u.. i really dont get how the still hope for u... and all i can do is support them. be thankful that u are married to a good man..

[chiquezee]

Ok, I admit. It was stupidity on my part to have let down guard. Now I know. You must be laughing at me every single day I fell for that. Can I go now?

[chiquezee]

I hate it when you call.

 

There is a 9-hour difference between us and 4am chill notwithstanding, you wake me up. What for? You know I always end up biting my tongue, holding back myself from spewing acid, but failing every second that you stay on the other line. Why do you even bother calling to ask how I am? Sometimes I think it is exactly because you know I will bite that you make it a point to hear every sh*t that I say. Perhaps that makes you feel you are paying for all the sins.

 

You may not be aware but you leave me vulnerable to bitter memories of betrayal and distrust after every conversation. Only you can leave me raw that way. And f*ck, you still get away with it.

 

I know it has not escaped you that after all the years of complete dedication, faithfulness, and loyalty to you, I now feel I am incapable of trusting another man. Damn you. I can't even go on a week of feeling happy. You have to ruin it for me by bringing back reasons why I have been hammering my head with three things all these time - protect, preserve, survive.

 

You really, really have to get out of my life. Now. And it really doesn't matter that no one has ever had the courage to stay and wrestle with me and my complexity, until now. I don't really care if it takes time to find that person who will surpass you in every aspect, at least I will know he is more than worthy to have me. One lesser cannot survive. And you, of all people, know that and I know that is why you f*cking feel confident that I will remain without any man beside me for another lifetime. Guess what? I believe otherwise.

 

You are not the only man alive. You are not the only exceptional man alive. You are not the only extra ordinary, brilliant, passionate man alive. I have met a dozen after you. Its just that nobody dared stay, or linger... But I have hope, and I have faith. One day, he'll fly my way. And he will not betray me like you did. For now, true, I have none, and maybe for a long time I will have no one, but that doesn't mean I will take you back. Only a dog goes back to its vomit.

 

True, I am not even close to trusting again, as I keep proving that in general, men have a hard time making themselves trustworthy. I am not giving up on myself, though. I will get to that point where I will finally stand still and have peace in my heart about finding the right one, finally. I don't care how long it takes. I will get there.

 

I have always strived to preserve your integrity, by keeping to myself the reason why I cannot walk down the aisle with you. I will continue to do so. Just please, get out of my life. There is simply no room for you, but in the archives of my heart. I have sealed that a long time ago, and the only things that seep out are dusts, molds, and mites.... I cannot even recall anymore how it feels to kiss you, or how it was to make love to you... Fragments of images stay, but the experience has left me.

 

Please go. Let me be. I wish to be happy, too.

 

 

C.

[LostCommand]

"Better a rough plan, violently executed now, than a perfect plan, executed tomorrow"

General GS Patton

3rd Army, US

 

Pare- trust me on this. They are after us. They are after you. Raise the alarm...

 

LC

[Wyld]

Mr Tobiiiii...

 

Pinakawalaan mo na naman sillaaaa!!!!

 

Hellppp!!

 

 

-W

[chiquezee]

Just this:

 

Every night before I retire to bed, before I let go to frolic in the sands of dreams, I anchor to reality and process everything that slips to my mind.

 

That is the most eerie part of my day, when demons crawl out and ghosts haunt. It is the bloodiest part of my day, when I wield swords with reason and my thoughts bleed with contemplation. It is the most insane part of my day, most surreal, yet most logical, when and where truth, fact, and reality distinguishes themselves from one another. It is the busiest part of my day, when I sift through images and illusions and dissect lies and deceptions. It is the most fulfilling part of my day, where I achieve what I want, I find what I seek. It is the most vulnerable part of my day, where I say what I ought not, do what I must not, decide what I should not....

 

Then I let myself slide to dreams and visions of what ifs, what were, what are and what may be.... In search for peace and rest.

 

In the morning, the golden rays and chirps of birds bring calm. I awake with fresh hope, with new faith, with different sentiments from the night before. It is the other most vulnerable part of my day, where I say what I ought not, do what I must not, decide what I should not....

 

So which must be believed, what I said during the darkest of night, during the most turbulent time, when I exhausted all my faculties? Or what was said in the morning, after alighting from the mirage of sleep, after getting a perceived rest and peace, when I have yet to start the routine of function, and have yet to welcome reason?

 

Even I am confused, most of the time.

 

Tsk.

 

 

 

C.

[CodenameV]

Normally, i try to be quite patient and understanding but there's a limit to how much i can take especially when there are other things that i should be doing. Shouldn't expect other people to be as accomodating and committed as me.

[iwalkalone]

i wish i could tell you exactly what i'm feeling...but this isn't the place. We all have our guards up now. Yes you...the only one who managed to break down these walls...you will always be cherished.

[LoveSpell]

Just a few lines to tell you how I feel,

A few lines to show I care.

But what good will these few lines do

If you are never there?

These words will just be written

Never noticed or read

All my feelings down on paper...

All the thoughts that fill my head.

Whispered softly to myself

So no one else can hear

Only I can see what's written,

Only I can feel my tears.

Shutting out the world around me

Only I can hear my cries,

Writing my feelings down on paper

My heart starts to die.

I'm dying inside

But no one seems to know,

I'm trying to hold on...

But I'm slowly letting go.

 

Edited February 25, 2007 by LoveSpell

[iwalkalone]

Carlos,

sensya na di tayo magkatyempo sa phone...eh kase naman naliligo ako kanina...tas...pag tawag mo busy na?...sorry ha...kase i have to keep myself...busy eh at...sa text...sorry din...wala akong pang reply...oops! wag nyo ko papasahan ng load...! bawal yan...under rehab ako ngayon

Ano?!...some bitch ditched you?...sino yan ha?...hehe..kase naman eh...told you ok lang yan...

at isa pang Ano?!... na isip mo na swerte talaga sa akin si ..._______? ay sows...inde noh...faithful nga ako...pero anlaki naman ng sayad ko...ano mas gusto mo?

ako ang swerte sa kanya...he is the closest thing to perfect...napakabait nya sa akin...lahat lahat na...you know how much i love the guy ...

it's just that...well...it's over...

Pare...wag mo na ako i compare sa iba...nangangaunti na lahi ko...

O pano... wag mo dibdibin yan...wala yanhttp://img359.imageshack.us/img359/5756/toast683as.gif

Edited February 26, 2007 by iwalkalone

[chiquezee]

If I lay here

If I just lay here

Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

 

 

 

... C

[wyette]

M

 

Ano b kasi ginagawa mo sa buhay mo ha?!

Mag ayos ka nga.

Di ka na bata. Di ka na dapat sinasabihan ng tama at mali. alam mo na dapat ang mga yun.

 

Natuto ka na dati. Bakit mo binalewala mga natutunan mo? Maryosep naman M, matalino ka naman di ba? Mabait ka, oo. Mapagmahal ka, sigurado ako dyan. Pero utang na loob, tulungan mo sarili mo. Walang ibang pwedeng tumulong sayo eh.

 

Tingnan mo ako. Gayahin mo ako. Wag mo lang akong gagalitin.

 

 

Y

[chiquezee]

MD -

 

I'm trusting that by now, you can face any tipping point, point blank. In a couple of months, you shall have to face it alone. Do not let me down then. I defied the second floor for you.

 

- MC

[Grimace]

It was an exhilirating day yesterday, how unfortunate that you felt really tired yesterday. You look as stiff as can be in your clothes and i was only wearing easy. You said your day wasn't honky dory, you were a bit meany and you needed a break, i looked at you, God! how i missed you so...You were too exhausted to notice that i was eager to talk to you! You've noticed my complexion's dark, yep from a race in Bulacan. I didnt put enough sunblock on my face, you can see the traces of the shades i was wearing! godaawful!

Really last night, we made it through, beside your sighing and driving from katmandu to makati was enough to suffice a lovely evening..a short evening playing with the latter's strips of straws from a fruitdrink. I must say everytime i see you, i see a whole new roll of eyes and teasing and whatever..

 

So uh can i ask you a question,when you think of some fantasies in your head, do you eve include me in the picture?

Edited February 28, 2007 by uchisy

[arrow]

Y,

 

I haven’t seen you personally but I feel that I miss you like the sun misses the flowers.

 

A