The Mail Box

[chiquezee]

I have a feeling I am treading on dangerous soil. I want you to know that I do not intend to stay and should it happen that I linger longer than what is appropriate, remind me to take leave and depart, chase the wind and to never come back.

 

I shall look after my self, my interest, and make sure that I stay protected from harm's way. If I neglect to take care of my being, remind me to pick myself up and search for the foot of the rainbow and to not return without my pot of gold.

 

As for you, please do not forget to look behind you for the image you have in front of you, that of me, is a mirage, a self indulgence and self exploration of what I am capable of. The image I don't want you to leave behind is what is real and true. Hold on to that. I am but dust and I shall be blown away, find myself on this earth, but never with you.

[iwalkalone]

Repitition is just a mispelled version of repetition.I don't know how to spell repitition yo!

It's the collision of similar compositions of words and s@%t. and s@%t. and s@%t or f#&k f#&k and f#&kGod I Hate This! :grr:

[chiquezee]

Dearest,

 

I can still taste you.

Your smell is lingering in my memory.

I regret that you came just now.

But I appreciate the fact that you came at the most imperfect time.

Thank you for the sweet, sweet, sweet moment.

 

I know you keep brushing off my remarks about not being together again.

You are so confident that we will not be able to refuse.

That like magnets, we shall gravitate towards each other

and "have a blast".

 

But then again, I am being sensible.

I have to be. You seem to be so game.

But life is not a game, though it can be a gamble.

And my heart, rather than expose it to a crucible.. I'd rather keep it from the fire.

 

Been burned... Don't want that again.

 

I just want to have fun, you know.

I got it... Time to move.

I realized what I can do. I did it.

Time to move on and not do it again.

 

I just couldn't tell you, because you might think I'm going over board.

I'm just being practical. But no, I will not let you know.

I can handle this myself.

 

sweetly,

C

[iwalkalone]

a few more days.....i'll be able to let go of whatever it was i had for you...still sad that things turned out this way but i understand and I'm not complaining or anything. "Nanghihinayang"....is the appropriate word...it's not everyday that i feel whatever it was that i felt for you...it was just so amazing, unbelievably beautiful...i think it's even phenominal

 

But I'm a little better now....i'll be over you very soon...I hope.....and i pray....I don't know...I'm not sure...but i have to...i have to.....right? ...right.

Edited October 8, 2006 by iwalkalone

[passion^in^pink]

how can you be such a jerk? i have met a lot of jerks before but you take the cake. you use us as if the only reason for our existence is to be a receptacle for that thing you have between your legs, and you can't even control it. ang pathetic mo talaga, kami na lang pinagiinitan mo just because you don't have the balls to try that kind of crap with another guy. you're 27 years old but you have the mind (and IQ) of a 5 year old bully. the only reason that you have a life is because the internet allows you to spew your venom without retaliation. too bad you can only go to ktvs and mps, the only way you can have female companionship is to pay for it. i'm just waiting for the day you get careless.

Edited October 8, 2006 by passion^in^pink

[chiquezee]

Its crazy how things are turning out between us.

And to think that it is just starting.

But how can I say it is starting when I insist that it is nothing?

Or am I making such a big deal out of it for the sake of making a deal out of it?

I do want to see you soon, but I don't want to see you again.

Its confusing knowing I want something that I don't want.

But I am hanging on to what you said -- tomorrow, we'll talk (even if it is about work.)

So I am foolishly counting the hours, just like I did when I waited for you.

The hours to tomorrow when we will again talk (perhaps you will call?).

A friend said it might be a combination of the desire for intimacy and the desire for liberty.

Maybe.

Maybe not.

It is quite bizarre at this point to even contemplate about it.

Anyhow, good night, baby.

Edited October 8, 2006 by chiquezee

[iwalkalone]

Full of broken thoughts

I cannot repair

Beneath the stain of time

The feeling disappears

You are someone else

I am still right here

What have I become?

My sweetest friend

Everyone I know

Goes away in the end

You could have it all

My empire of dirt

If I could start again

A million miles away

I would keep myself

I would find a way

[simon b]

longing yellow...

a bit cloudy

 

but still better than deep blue

do i see a faint smile?

[iwalkalone]

It's been few weeks? a couple?...oh i don't know...i can't remember...last night....i found myself crying ...*sigh....even after you called...i still felt the sadness...of knowing you're gone already....still around...but gone.

 

I guess it's the feeling i had for you...that i cry for...more than the thought of having lost you. It's just sad....when you have to k*ll something that is so beautiful. Sayang. :cry: *sigh

[simon b]

gray

definitely gray...

 

 

muddy gray even

 

when will i see pink?

[chiquezee]

Hey you.

 

I wish you were here too.

Just for a shoulder to lean on, especially since things are not going very well.

Although like I said, it's not really a problem. It is not, after all, the entireity of my life.

I can always pursue it some other time.

I have learned to accept disappointment.

I have had a couple thrown my way.

Life is not about fulfilling your plans on time, rather, it's about things happening on time as planned.

Haha, I didn't make sense at all.

 

It was a very stimulating conversation yesterday.

I am really glad we have kept the quality of our talks.

I am looking forward to another exchange of ideas... but we both have quite a long day today.

Til then, I will keep looking forward to the next one.

[rapturousone]

May today there be peace within. May you trust your highest power that you are exactly where you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith. May you use those gifts that you have received, and pass on the lo ve that has been given to you. May you be content knowing you are a child of God.

[simon b]

i cant see the beauty

the smooth skin doesnt pull me

the hips' sway has no effect

the voice isnt music anymore

 

"it" is gone

 

how liberating...

[chiquezee]

Nababalot ako sa pagkasuya at pagkamuhi sa sarili. Alam kong hindi mo ako maiintindihan. Ngayon pa lang ay pinapasan ko na ang lahat ng pagsisising darating sa huli. Alam kong hindi mo nakikita iyon. Pero kung tutuusin.. sino ka ba? Hayaan mo muna ako nang sa ganon ay mahawi ang pagkabahala at pagkakutya sa isa't isa. Puede naman iyon, hindi ba? Puede kang maglakad nang mag isa sapagkat naglalakad ka nang madatnan kita. Ang totoo niyan, wala na talaga akong maramdaman.... Magusap na lang tayo kapag malinaw na ang patutunguhan ko. Sigurado akong nanaisin mong bumalik sa nilalakaran mo, kahit wala ako sa tabi mo.

[iwalkalone]

........................

 

We could be perfect one last night

And die like star crossed lovers when we fight

And we can settle this affair

Take my hand and then

We'll solve the mystery of laceration gravity

This riddle of revenge

Please understand that it has to be this way and

Stand up f#&king tall, dont let them see your back

And take my f#&king hand and never be afraid again"

 

Our Lady Of Sorrows

Edited October 10, 2006 by iwalkalone