Tie The Knot..?

[Sitti of TVS]

Do you believe in marriage? Express your views about the fundamental institution of marriage and whether or not you think it is an important aspect of society.

[Sitti of TVS]

debate debate everyone.. lets have a debate..

[Sitti of TVS]

before nauso yung mga fixed marriage chuvacheness. how can someone marry a person that he/she doesnt love naman?

 

yung ibang tao gumagastos sila ng bongga para sa kasal, then maghihiwalay din naman.. sayang lang diba?

 

yung iba naman nangungutang pa ng pampakasal masabi lang na kinasal sila is it really necessary?

[blaktarantula69]

If you are marrying for the right reason, with the right person, at the right time then it is bound to work and last.

For most, marriage is faith-based. It is what their religion teaches.

For some, it is more of a symbolic gesture that they have committed the rest of their lives to their partners.

 

Does society need it? That is a difficult question.

Maybe.

[Gravity05]

Naniniwala ako sa marriage as long as both are ready and are getting married for the right reasons. Ready in the sense na mature ka na enough to let of go of your pride if need be, wala na sa utak mo ung selfishness and kaya mo ng unahin ang kaligayahan ng iba kesabsa sarili mo. Ako gusto ko rin magpakasal someday para pag lumaki ung future kids ko makakapag establish ako ng right values and mapalaki ko sila na ang nasa center ay ang teachings ng bible din. Marriage kasi for me is a commitment to your spouse na through thick and thin we will be there for each other. Mararamdaman mo naman un pagnakita mo na ung tamang tao na masasabi mo sa sarili mo na ito na ung taong mamahalin ko habangng buhay and the person whom id do anything and everything for. Anyway, sentiments ko lang naman ito. Hehe. Good day.

[Queen Darkeinjel]

Good afternoon!

 

1. Do you believe in marriage? Views and relevance to society

 

Yes, I believe in the sanctity of marriage. Mine is at 195 months long, 13 years and 3 months.

 

Thr fundamental reasons for getting married include the ned to start a family. Looking at it froma legal perspective, it is abway to secure the lives of future children (financially speaking, as well as the spouse's on basis of conjugal property). Other views may include those of the norms of society, meaning that no matter how much open-minded we think we are, in reality, most Filipinos still frown upon common-law relationships and the products of such. We still value the legal, social and moral binds that are associated to this tradition, ceremony or what ever kids these days label marriage.

 

Another reason of course is the spiritual, moral and religious aspect of marriage. No matter the religion, our leaders and elders still put value on tying the knot.

 

Tribes on the other hand may encourage a marriage for societal reasons as well. They merge tribes, make the lands bigger and hopefulky foster peace between their towns/tribes.

 

Then, we have the personal reasons of those who enter the union. Though many may enter it for the wrong reasons, there are still those who value the sanctity of such a union. They (couple) believe that this is the highest form and expression of commitment and love that they could give to one another. To make the promise to stay together in good times and plow through the bad together, done in front of witnesses, especially the parents and relatives of both consenting adults, god and in the eyes of the law seems to be the culmination of the relationship.

 

Is it still relevant? As a nation, we still put heavy emphasis on the family being the basic unit of society. The first line of education on how to become a moral and productive citizen of the country. So, probably, it is still relevant today.

 

2. Fixed/arrange marriages

 

We are definitely lucky that today most, if not all of us are free to choose who to love, who to marry and who to be with. In cases of fixed marriages, it is duty to family that is most important and should be honored above everything else, even if it means sacrificing one's choices and emotions. Marrying the person of your choice does not guarantee a successful marriage, and following this line of thinking, arranged marriages may not end as disasters in some cases. They may not start with love but acceptance of the situation and friendship, let their relatuonship build up from there.

 

3. Expenses, utang and separation

 

There are those who choose to spend less, preferring intimate ceremonies attended only by family. Some prefer more lavish celebrations for this hopefully once in a lifetime event. Is it a necessity, unfortunately, with prices herenin the PHL skyrocketing everyday, today's couples may not have a choice but to spend a little more than they have planned to,

 

As for those who may have spent so much and still end up separating, as cliche as this may sound, you won't get to know person real well until you've lived with them for years. I'll be the first to admit, being married for more than a decade, I still discover things about my husband that still surprises me. And, I could honestly say, he does not know everything about me, yet. Now, when the time comes that we learn about these hidden traits, it would be up to us to either turn it into irreconcilable differences or chuck it in the "we are unique" bin, accept it then move on forward as a couple. Aside from this, there is a mile long list of reasons for separation and this is a reality for both the small and big spenders.

 

These are the only things that I can pull off from the top of my head.

[EL_PY]

Yes I do believe in marriage. Kapag nakita mo na yung right one at the right time, duon na rin lahat pupunta.

Is it required? Depende sa relationship and views ng bawat isa. Pero parang kulang kasi if there is no marriage. Yun na kasi yung symbol na true love between couples.

Marami kasing pwedeng rason kaya nagpapakasal. By religion, By legal boundaries, By force etc....

Ngayon kasi nawawala na essence ng kasal kasi sa simula pa lang madidiscourage ka na kasi sa preparation and expenses.

Tapos dahil sa social media, ang dami daming negativity regarding sa marriage.

Basta ang mahalaga, have faith and trust with one another. Kahit kasal na, marami pa rin kayong malalaman sa isat isa.

[glut_func]

sa panahon ngayon, ang kasal ay parang label na lang sa character ng isang tao. like for example, pag si guy or girl is still single by the time they reach 30 then people, especially immediate family, will think something is wrong with them. Kesyo tibo si girl or bakla si guy kaya hindi pa nag-aasawa. Ang siste eto ngayon yung nagiging dahilan kung bakit nagpapakasal ng hindi pa handa ang karamihan kasi sa takot na mapintasan ng ganun. Isa pa, pinalaki tayo sa mentalidad na you'll only achieve "true and blisssful happiness" once you have tied the knot...pero kalaunan magkakasawaan din... hindi man maiwasan pero karamihan nahilig kasi sa mga love story na bunga ng kathang-isip kaya paniwalang-paniwala sila sa mga ganyang bagay na minsan malayo na sa realidad... wag ka na magtaka kung bakit mas kinakagat ng madla ngayon yung mga palabas na may temang may kinalaman sa mga kabitan kasi yun ang mas accurate portrayal na commonly pinagdadaanan ng karamihan na nasa isang relasyon...

 

..long story short, bahala ka sa buhay mo kung gusto mo magpakasal pero tulad nga ng sabi ni kuya kim na dapat din nating tandaan na ang buhay ay walang poreber, este, weder-weder lang .... bow!

Edited April 17, 2016 by glut_func

[ChinitoSan]

I never understood the concept of marriage. I see grooms crying upon their brides arrival. These elaborate planning months before the wedding day. The time and money spent. All finished in a day. (half day at least)

 

I never thought of myself being married. Sa isip ko sayang lang pera, pagipunan na lang somewhere. Live in na lang.

 

Ayaw ko talaga magpakasal. Gusto ko career muna, maging most eligible bachelor ang peg.

 

Then years pass, parang may kulang. Ang tagal niyo na pero parang wala parin.

 

Then may mangyayari talaga sa inyo na mapapaisip ka. Is this the sign na dapat maging asawa ko na siya. Kasi natakot ako mawala siya.

 

Then I proposed, planned the wedding, got married.

 

(Unfortunately hindi ko padin alam kung bakit naiiyak ang groom sa paglakad ng fiance niya sa aile. Nirason ko nalang natuyo lenses ko. pero hindi ko din masabi kung bakit ako naluha)

 

Anyway Marriage for me is not the wedding itself. It is the life you couples have after the wedding. Its you against the world, your co workers, your in-laws. At the end kayo lang no body else.

[silverarrow]

marriage is a contract, that bounds two people who love each other. if your not in love then do not be bound. If your not responsible enough do not be bound also. if you do not know where are your getting at then you should know first. There is a lot of information on the internet do not be stupid to saying that you don't know, after your married you did find someone better your just destroying the meaning of marriage. In the Philippines there is no divorce. Annulment is only used if there a conditions at where violated before the marriage.But in reality suck it up your getting no where. Word of advice stay single if your just fooling around.

[glut_func]

At the risk of sounding bitter or whatevs, eto and personal opinion ko about getting married - bilang lalake, ayoko ng kasal for very practical reasons. Ang lalaki kasi ang lalabas na lugi sa lahat- sa gastos, sa effort, sa obligasyon, etc. and to what expense? hindi rin naman kayo habambuhay na magkakasama. Romantic notion lang yun and nothing else. Sabihin na nating magkahati sa gastusin si lalake at si babae sa pampakasal, pero expected ng mga magulang mo at magiging in-laws mo na dahil ikaw ang lalake eh dapat mas malaki ang share mo sa gastusin, unfair di ba?

 

By right oo dapat tulungan ang mag asawa sa lahat, alam natin yan - yung dapat through sickness and in health till death do us part ang peg engkaso pero hindi naman lahat ng kinakasal ganun ang setup. Naging ganun lang naman yun kasi weddings are a costly and time-consuming labor, plus, divorce/annulments can get really ugly too. So literally, kasal ka nga hanggang sa mamatay ka kasi no choice ka kundi pagtyagaan mo yung asawang pinakasalan mo at kung hindi ka naman ganun kayaman then hindi mo pa basta-basta afford ang makipag hiwalay especially if you're gonna have to go through the legal means. Di pa kasama dyan yung alimony at child support, kung meron man.

 

Eto pa, expected na rin ng lahat, lalo na ng tradisyon at lipunan natin, na si lalake ang kakarga sa pamilya. Na si lalake pa rin dapat ang sasalo at mag give way at all cost. Those responsibilities comes together with matrimony and its a package deal. No other way around it. Wala namang problema sa ganun kung yun tlaga ang gusto nung lalake pero ako kasi mismo ayoko ng ganun. Mas trip ko yung malayang nagagawa ko pa rin yung gusto ko lalo na sa pagdedesisyon sa mga bagay bagay hindi yung may ibang tao pa akong aalalahanin bago ako makapag desisyon. In short, I don't like the idea of having someone holding me back. Ang masakit dun, halimbawa si babae ang nangaliwa pero wag ka, si lalake pa din ang masisisi ng mga tao sa paligid nya kasi kesyo nagkaron sya ng kakulangan sa misis nya, etc kaya nauwi sa hindi magandang pagsasama. Lahat na lang si lalake ang kokompromiso. Sakit sa ulo.

 

I also dont like the idea of pretending to be someone I'm not just to measure up to my future-in law's standards. Hindi ako worried na baka hindi ako matanggap ng ibang pamilya at lalong hindi ko babaguhin yung mga nakagisnan ko lalo na sa mga bagay na sa tingin kong tama para lang makipag plastikan at magpa-impress sa ibang tao...or worst, yung hindi ako mtatanggap na karapat-dapat para sa anak nila. Pang habang buhay na suliranin din to sa parte ng lalake.

 

Kung ang ibang tao romantic ang interpretation ng pagpapakasal ako hindi. Ang common knowledge ng lahat about kasal is that you and your wife ties the knot you are then bound in unity pero my take on it is that when you tie a rope into a knot it also becomes, in form and manner, a noose that goes around your neck which you then willfully subjected yourself into and then eventually kills you. Kaya nga ang turing ng iba sa pagpapakasal ay para na ring sakal.

 

Marriage is, more often than not, a literal game over for us guys.

[Dingdong2000]

Do you believe in marriage? - While I respect many friends who are “serial monogamists” without binding commitments, and cherish an unattached brother who proudly proclaims that he has 3 first-born children, I strongly believe that marriage is fundamentally important, even in these modern times.

 

Today, it is easy to get sex, with or without marriage, but marriage is beyond such act. The commitment to a relationship is the more compelling element. I would often joke, “Uwi na naman ako sa bahay na binili ko, na kung saan yung katabi ko sa pagtulog ay di ko man lang kakilala dati o kadugo”. The wonder of marriage is the relationship with the beloved spouse, and how such relationship is renewed each day. For better or for worse, till death do your part…

 

 

Express your views about the fundamental institution of marriage and whether or not you think it is an important aspect of society. -In marriage, I see death and rebirth each day. Death for me means killing my self-centered passions and restricting my individual right to enable my relationship with my wife to prosper and grow. “She, before me” - a very difficult proposition for one who has focused so much, prior to marriage, on personal growth and achievement. This drive is difficult to justify, but in essence it is simply fueled by LOVE, the strong endearment for my chosen one to prevail, to shine, live peacefully and grow more because of my presence, despite of my presence.

 

As marriage restricts and disciplines selfish motives and interests, it prepares the family members for a life of community. Thus, society is strengthened by families where marriage is strong and vibrant. Marriage for me is not a mere contract between consenting persons. Marriage is commitment to a relationship founded on Trust, Obedience to vows agreed upon, Dependence on each other rather than on parties outside marriage, Affirmation for each other, and constant Yearning to be with each one, through thick and thin and even if the dreadful though of sleeping with a soon-to-be a lola beckons. A wonderful marriage is being with my beloved because I live TODAY. And this is good for society, because together in marriage, we can make the ripples of community stronger.

[dex0225]

I do believe in marriage. For me di lang siya status na pwede mong palitan kapag ayaw na, but a commitment to your partner of your supposedly undying love. Supposedly, proof din siya to other people na monogamous ka. From a legal standpoint yes, beneficial siya sa spouse because of inheritance, pension, etc.

 

Minsan nagwowork-out din kahit sa una di gusto ang isa't isa. Depende pa rin siguro sa views nila about marriage (commitment), if nagkakapareho. Minsan siguro naiisip nila na nandun na sila, natututunan na lang mahalin.

 

I think due to peer pressure na rin kaya pabonggahan ang labanan sa mga kasalan (what friends might think, what would your relatives and relatives to be might say, they might even compare your wedding to the wedding of your siblings or someone in the family na recently married). Before you get married it is really important to know everything about your soon to be spouse and be ready to accept changes after marriage (not the bad ones)

 

I believe na di kailangang mangutang para lang magpakasal. Stick pa rin sa budget at kung ano ang kaya, pagkasyahin. Kung ikakasal man ako sa future preferred ko yung with immediate family lang. Feel ko kasi mas solemn yung celebration. Mas masarap ang honeymoon kapag wala kang iniisip na utang. Haha! Besides kung tight talaga ang budget may kasalang bayan naman.

[Drstrange]

Maybe

[DorkVader]

before nauso yung mga fixed marriage chuvacheness. how can someone marry a person that he/she doesnt love naman?

 

yung ibang tao gumagastos sila ng bongga para sa kasal, then maghihiwalay din naman.. sayang lang diba?

 

yung iba naman nangungutang pa ng pampakasal masabi lang na kinasal sila is it really necessary?

My dear Sitti, these views you just mentioned are very cynical. Views yan ng mga napaso NA or exposed NA exposed sa mga ganitong pagka paso. I can swear by my own experience that marriage is a beautiful thing. It is an act of affirmation between two matured adults. Don't let other people's bad experiences turn you off with the institution of marriage. You know what, even if you have been living with someone for years, you will be surprised what that piece of paper can do to your relationship. It strengthens it. It is liberating. You will put your guard down and be totally trusting. Now, isn't that beautiful? Seguro bata ka pa naman. Hwag ka masyado makinig sa mga malcontent sa palipaligid.