How Important Is The Sexual History Of Your Partner?

[FF]

my advise to WOMEN  who are younger and are planning on a long term relationship with a man ....

a MAN  having a HIGH BODY COUNT is a RED FLAG....this means he has issues and for all you know, you're married to a MANIAC  and the thing about a MANIAC  is he will never ever be satisfied sa iyo..trust me on this... I know someone like this..

also, if HE has a high body count (10+ is a red flag) means he has  had multiple girlfriends and his issues before may come to haunt you. 

get as much as possible a mileage of 5 or less if it's possible..

just my advise, don't say I didn't warn  you!

 pinaglaruan ko lang comrade @handsomebob ahahahaha. Inimagine ko lang what if this was written from a woman's perspective .  After all what is good for the gander is also good for the goose.   

Edited August 13, 2022 by FF

[johneric45]

nice to know but does not determine the total success or fail of a relationship. 

[FF]

On 7/22/2022 at 11:37 PM, NightWriter said:

I think it’s important that you’d know the history because past issues will become future trends.
 

It’s like going to the amusement park and experiencing so many different rides then all of a sudden You try and settle for going only one ride for the rest of your life?

That’s basically how it is for men and women who have multiple partners that they’ve so many partners that It effects their ability to pair bond and stick with one person. 

now this is the real me. 🙂

1) if you're willing to commit to be seriously monogamous to each other BOTH of  you should have yourself tested for sti ( sexually transmitted infections na po ang term . I found this out when I did consulting  for the International Labor Organization on Pinoy seafarers ) specially if both of you have had multiple partners. 

2) for men the only downside to settling down with a woman who has had multiple partners is that she has a basis for comparison and you may fall "SHORT" of her standards 🤣.

3)  the upside naman for men is that she has had experience . Like we ohhh and ahhh in some of our FRS here . Natanong kaya natin :   Saan kaya natutunan nung babae yun on how to pleasure us ? Kung walang nagturo sa kanila / walang experience e di wala tayong napakinabangan.

4) commitment is a scary word for most men ( kasama na ako rito ). Lalo na if you have a high libido and the time and money to pursue other women. But what if  you meet a woman  who fascinates you ; a woman you admire for her inner qualities and is good /great in bed ? Would you be willing to give up all others for the chance to be with her ? Rare find ito comrades so THINK HARD ( with your brain dummy !  )

5) Settling down with one is a choice if and when you're tired of all the  giddy rides in the park . So make sure of yourself before you take the plunge. And for the women ...kilatasin niyo muna ng husto . Malay niyo lifetime member pala siya ng Universal atbp theme parks . 

Taking the metaphor further .... baka sa Enchanted Kingdom at Star City pa lang ang narating niyan. Pag napunta yan sa  Disneyland kung saan mas maganda ang rides e baka hindi mo  na mahanap .At kung malas ka talaga ay  malamang sayo pa aasa yan ng pang  entrance , sodas , popcorn , at hotdogs.  

 6) most importantly ... committing to a partner is not a three minute ride like the ones you get in a  park. Like a roller coaster ( only waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay longer )  it will have ups and downs .There will be times when you will be screaming in excitement and times you feel so nauseous and sick  you  just want to puke your guts out.  

if you really really love each other just  hang on to the handlebar and ride through the peaks and valleys together.   And at the end ( hopefully ...cue sunset and romantic music please )   you will turn to your partner and say " I'm happy that it was you". 

 

Edited August 13, 2022 by FF

[handsomebob]

3 hours ago, johneric45 said:

nice to know but does not determine the total success or fail of a relationship. 

yes, but it just tells you to proceed with caution..

my ex had a low body count, 3rd actually and yet we still broke up so it does not guarantee...

but modern women are different now in a lot of aspects than it was say, 15 to 20 years ago..

[FF]

10 hours ago, johneric45 said:

nice to know but does not determine the total success or fail of a relationship. 

Just for the sake of argument let us assume the the body count or sexual history of your partner is one of the important metric in predicting the success or failure of a relationship. 

The body count in the context of sexual partners in the Philippines is a strange animal. A high body count claimed by males is a sign of sexual prowess and manliness. It is a badge of honor in the eyes of his peers. On the other hand a high body count for the females is the exact opposite  ; viewed as a badge of shame . So applying this inverse relationship  it would be to the man's advantage to claim more while the women would be pressed to claim less. 

There lies the rub. Unless this is based on documented proof ( I am already crazy smiling at the thought of what could be deemed as acceptable documentable proof  ) there is no way to establish the validity or veracity of the number of bodies claimed. 

So if " body count" cannot be measured truthfully and  reliably , would it remain as a valid metric ? If not ,what could be? 

This article in Psychology Today perhaps offers an interesting take on not one but seven metrics.

Seven Predictors of Relationship Success  ( Preston Ni ; 2013 ) 

( Note : I have edited it for brevity. It's a long read but a  worthwhile one ) 

1. Do You Trust Your Partner?

Trust is the first and perhaps most important predictor of long-term relational success. Without trust, none of the other six keys that follow will have much meaning.

Ask yourself the following questions: In general, is your partner reliable and dependable? Can you count on your partner as the “rock” in your life? What about you for your partner?

2. Are You and Your Partner Compatible in the Dimensions of Intimacy?

Authors Ronald Adler and Russell Proctor II identified four ways with which we can feel closely connected with our significant other. The four dimensions of intimacy are: Physical, Emotional, Intellectual, and Shared Activities.

Here’s a quick exercise to check you and your partner's compatibility in intimacy. List the four dimensions as follows:

__

                                  Partner A      Partner B

Physical

Emotional

Intellectual

Shared Activities

__

Next to each dimension, rank whether this is a “Must” have, “Should” have, or “Could” have for you in your romantic relationship.

After answering for yourself, next ask your partner to rank, or on your own put down how you think your partner would prioritize. The more “must-must” and “must-should” combinations between you and your partner, the greater the possibility of an intimate relationship.

3. What Type of Person Shows Up Within You in This Relationship?

Consider the friends in your life. Do different friends bring out different sides of you? Maybe you’re more reserved with one and more rambunctious with another. Perhaps you’re patient with some and quarrel with others.

Just as a friend can elicit a particular side of you, so does your partner. Consider the following questions: Does my better self show up when I’m with my partner? Does my worse self show up when I’m with my partner? 

4. Does Your Partner’s Communication Lift You Up or Bring You Down?

Dr. John Gottman of the University of Washington, concluded after over twenty years of research that the single, best predictor of divorce is when one or both partners show contempt in the relationship.

Contempt, the opposite of respect, is often expressed via negative judgment, criticism, or sarcasm regarding the worth of an individual. In communication studies, this is known as being “tough on the person, soft on the issue.” An effective communicator knows how to separate the person from the issue (or behavior), and be soft on the person and firm on the issue. An ineffective communicator will do the opposite — he or she will literally “get personal” by attacking the person, while minimizing or ignoring the issue.

5. How do You and Your Partner Deal with Conflict in the Relationship?

Couples with poor conflict resolution skills typically engage in Fight, Flight, or Freeze behaviors. They fight and stay mad, sometimes holding grudges for years. They flee and avoid important issues by sweeping them under the rug. Or, after endless arguments with no resolution in sight, they freeze emotionally and shut down. Someone who freezes in a relationship typically goes through the motions on the outside, but has stopped caring on the inside.

Successful couples have the ability to solve problems and let it go. They focus on taking care of the issue rather than attacking the person. Even when angry, they find ways to be upset and stay close at the same time. Once the matter is resolved, they forgive and forget

6. How Do You and Your Partner Handle External Adversity and Crisis Together?

One of the traits of highly successful and enduring relationships is the partners’ ability to stand together in the face of external challenges. A true test of a relationship is whether two people have each others’ back when times are tough.

Consider these questions: Do external adversity and crisis bring you and your partner closer together, or pull you farther apart? As Adler and Proctor II state, “Companions who have endured challenges together… form a bond that can last a lifetime.”

7. Do You Have Compatible Financial Values?

Numerous studies have identified disagreements over finances as one of the top reasons couples seek marital counseling, as well as one of the top reasons for divorce.

Differences in financial values often appear early in a relationship. For example, who pays for the first date? What about the second date? And the third? Is your partner happy when you give a thoughtful but non-monetary birthday gift, or will he or she feel disappointed because you didn't purchase something? Additional questions to consider include: Is your partner generally happy with what he or she owns, or is there a constant, insatiable desire to always acquire more? Are you and your partner able to solve financial difficulties and differences as a team?

Formulating with your partner a viable financial plan, paying attention to patterns of financial discontent, initiating conversations early to resolve differences, and seeking financial or couples counseling when needed are some of the keys to maintaining financial peace.

In closing, whether you’re single, dating, or in a committed relationship, these seven keys to long-term relationship success may serve as a “check-up” of your relational health and well-being. 

 

[mesh1180]

it is for medical reasons... baka kakilala ko naging partner eh alam kong me std. haha...

[FF]

38 minutes ago, mesh1180 said:

it is for medical reasons... baka kakilala ko naging partner eh alam kong me std. haha...

I agree  comrade. backread ka it is step no. 1 in a recent post of mine . 🙂

[eman357]

Factor din siguro yung high body count if yung iba dun is nagawa niya while in a relationship. He or she has tendencies of cheating on you.

[Thorhazard]

As long as she did not cheat on her former partners. It's not that bad imo some might even prefer it as they'll have tons on experience on the bed.

[King Inaño]

Not at all

[gentlemanyak_007]

I just like to find out if marami na naging partner and kung wala STD.

[neilgayuman]

Not at all. Unless may STD.

[dominickcruise]

dapat not more than 8 and that is a stretch for me...

any woman who have a lot of body count, say 10 or more will have a hard time pair bonding with a man....of course there are exceptions to the rule but generally or majority don't end well...it is backed up by experience and some testimonials as well

 

[MinsanLang]

History doesn't matter. Compatibility does. 

[Nidaime]

History is important to check if your chemistry with each other in bed will be good and a test for compatibility din.