Titikim ka pa rin ba?

[*Jessie*]

Oo naman

 

Awesome. I wonder why.

[filibustero]

Being unhappy in a current relationship is not the only reason why one could cheat on a significant other. For me it's the thrill of the hunt; an inherent drive to conquer; to know for certain that one still "has it". Men have the need to feed their egos, and other than power, nothing feeds our ego more than a beautiful woman. But just because I cheat does not mean that I do not love my significant other, nor does it mean that I am not committed. Sure, this may be seen as weakness; to give in and succumb to a primal instinct, not being able to muster the strength of will to hold back. There will always be a tinge of regret in that feeling of satisfaction. But I would rather regret something that was, than what could have been. It is a risk, for by doing so I stand to lose the people I love. But I do it so that I do not lose myself. In a sense, it does not make me a better man, but at least in the end, I do not feel like a lesser one.

 

"I wanna be faithful but I can't keep my hands off the cookie jar."

[Louis Roederer]

Being unhappy in a current relationship is not the only reason why one could cheat on a significant other. For me it's the thrill of the hunt; an inherent drive to conquer; to know for certain that one still "has it". Men have the need to feed their egos, and other than power, nothing feeds our ego more than a beautiful woman. But just because I cheat does not mean that I do not love my significant other, nor does it mean that I am not committed. Sure, this may be seen as weakness; to give in and succumb to a primal instinct, not being able to muster the strength of will to hold back. There will always be a tinge of regret in that feeling of satisfaction. But I would rather regret something that was, than what could have been. It is a risk, for by doing so I stand to lose the people I love. But I do it so that I do not lose myself. In a sense, it does not make me a better man, but at least in the end, I do not feel like a lesser one.

 

"I wanna be faithful but I can't keep my hands off the cookie jar."

 

i can totally relate to your point of view. I actually talked about this with my friend. He basically told me that i am probably not content with my life and i need certain things to do in order to keep things interesting. But he also cautioned me that i am also lying to my significant other by not telling her. I said why would i tell her, it would only get me in trouble, and he said you probably don't love her then. Regardless of your reasons for keeping things secret from your other. if you truly love them you would not keep things from them. you must be open in your relationship in order for it to grow. He also said people will always look for certain reasons to do certain things no matter how bad or unfair they are therefore in return, hurting the people we love. He also said that's I'm being selfish regardless of the reasons I do in order to cheat. We are being selfish to the person we love because we in turn are lying to them.

 

In the end he told me, sure you might get away with it and live happily with your significant other without her finding out. But know this. "When you do meet God, he would want an answer as to why you lied to your other without telling her what you did." and if you can't provide a sufficient answer for his question. He will definitely pass judgment on you when that time comes"

 

In hindsight, i thought what he said made sense. I was being selfish and i didn't think of anyone but my own desires and wants without realizing it would be detrimental to the person i love. It also scared me since he mentioned God would pass judgment on me when the time does come when i meet him in the other life.

 

I may get what i desire in this life. But i might also suffer the consequences of my actions forever in the other life and this made me realize my mistake and i promised never to do it again. i also came clean to my other and told her all the things i did. It was a bad time for a while, but in the end she forgave me and i have been honest with her from that point on. No More Secrets!

Edited November 20, 2013 by Cristal

[_mademoiselle_]

Definitely not

[silvervic]

I second the motion to what Jessie said about you Vic.

So you.

To Pinai and *Jessie*: Now now, you two make it look like I'm sort of a saint because in fact I'm not. I've wallowed in some murky (read: lusty) waters before and I've learned my lesson because of it. I think having a couple of girls or even up to a harem is good for one's ego and carnal urges but I guess that's not the life I want for me. To each their own I guess. For me, I want a simple life--just to love and be loved by one person. It's too complicated for me to give a lot of attention to a lot of women. I only have one body and 24 hours to give that, and I think one girl can take all of that and then some. Sa akin nga, kulang na nga ang oras na binibigay ko sa biological family ko, tapus may asawa pa ako, kaya wala nang masyadong oras para sa sarili ko, tapus kukuha pa ako ng ibang tao na kakain ng natitira kong oras? Ano mangyayare sa akin? Maaaburido na ako nun. Gamitin ko na lang ang natitirang oras sa tulog at sa sidelines ko; healthy na, yayaman pa. Hehehe. Anyway, I guess it's a good thing na I've learned this particular lesson before I got married. I think I like to search out for life's lessons and learn them the hard way when I was young. So, lemme reiterate, I'm no saint; I'm just a normal guy--with a good head that knows what's what on his shoulders.

[nosyaj_nozar]

i am no saint when it comes to infidelity. and i have no excuse why i cheated and why i'm still cheating. the only reason why people cheat, and this i tell to my friends, is that they just want to do it. when you decide to marry someone, you've already decided to live with that someone for as long as you both are living. people will come along your way and you'll be tested. no matter how strong or happy you are with your married life, you'd still cheat if you want to. reasons are just excuses. if there' something wrong in your relationship, with your wife/husband, you should talk about it. marriage makes you one. i'm not proud of what i'm doing but this is me. thanks by the way to you and this topic. (",)

[alex10]

i give in to temptation..

[xenogear]

before, i said that there will be no other party or even entertaining the thought of having one... sad to say that i have not maintained how it should be.

[Miggz]

Very realistic and reasonable. Thanks for sharing LRO.

 

I think we should distinguish between "titikim" and "napasubo"

Edited November 21, 2013 by Miggz

[Miggz]

Once your committed to your marriage.No More Fooling around. I have friends who try to cheat or fool with other women. End result is they have another family to feed and support or end up being single. Women now are more determined to raise a family alone.

 

I was referring to this post

[Miggz]

I'd like to share this too:

 

http://www.peakhealthadvocate.com/3686/infidelity-increases-cardiovascular-risk-in-men/

[cbotc]

It's part of being human, like it or not.

 

Motives will vary from "just for kicks" to "the need for solace" to "being at the right place and at the right time". At the end of the day, we are fragile and weak and while we strive to be upright and morally correct, things happen that were not supposed to happen.

 

Should you blame yourself? Should you blame your partner in crime? Which ever way you choose to view the situation, it's your basic human nature at work and your primitive brain (telling you to go ahead) battles it out with your higher brain (don't get into that because it's wrong).

[*Jessie*]

Being unhappy in a current relationship is not the only reason why one could cheat on a significant other. For me it's the thrill of the hunt; an inherent drive to conquer; to know for certain that one still "has it". Men have the need to feed their egos, and other than power, nothing feeds our ego more than a beautiful woman. But just because I cheat does not mean that I do not love my significant other, nor does it mean that I am not committed. Sure, this may be seen as weakness; to give in and succumb to a primal instinct, not being able to muster the strength of will to hold back. There will always be a tinge of regret in that feeling of satisfaction. But I would rather regret something that was, than what could have been. It is a risk, for by doing so I stand to lose the people I love. But I do it so that I do not lose myself. In a sense, it does not make me a better man, but at least in the end, I do not feel like a lesser one.

 

"I wanna be faithful but I can't keep my hands off the cookie jar."

 

HI Fil, you seem to have shared your thoughts pretty well. As much as I'm certain that this stamement of yours shakes the hopes of our women a little (lol), I can't help but admire how much you know yourself and how you acknowledge your being human.

 

 

[*Jessie*]

i can totally relate to your point of view. I actually talked about this with my friend. He basically told me that i am probably not content with my life and i need certain things to do in order to keep things interesting. But he also cautioned me that i am also lying to my significant other by not telling her. I said why would i tell her, it would only get me in trouble, and he said you probably don't love her then. Regardless of your reasons for keeping things secret from your other. if you truly love them you would not keep things from them. you must be open in your relationship in order for it to grow. He also said people will always look for certain reasons to do certain things no matter how bad or unfair they are therefore in return, hurting the people we love. He also said that's I'm being selfish regardless of the reasons I do in order to cheat. We are being selfish to the person we love because we in turn are lying to them.

 

In the end he told me, sure you might get away with it and live happily with your significant other without her finding out. But know this. "When you do meet God, he would want an answer as to why you lied to your other without telling her what you did." and if you can't provide a sufficient answer for his question. He will definitely pass judgment on you when that time comes"

 

In hindsight, i thought what he said made sense. I was being selfish and i didn't think of anyone but my own desires and wants without realizing it would be detrimental to the person i love. It also scared me since he mentioned God would pass judgment on me when the time does come when i meet him in the other life.

 

I may get what i desire in this life. But i might also suffer the consequences of my actions forever in the other life and this made me realize my mistake and i promised never to do it again. i also came clean to my other and told her all the things i did. It was a bad time for a while, but in the end she forgave me and i have been honest with her from that point on. No More Secrets!

 

 

Minsan talaga natututo tayo ng mahusay pag galing sa sarili nating karanasan. I believe that a person's perspective changes over time. I am happy how you seem to have reflected through life thoroughly. I am also thinking na siguro bonggang bongga kang bumabawi sa partner mo.

[*Jessie*]

To Pinai and *Jessie*: Now now, you two make it look like I'm sort of a saint because in fact I'm not. I've wallowed in some murky (read: lusty) waters before and I've learned my lesson because of it. I think having a couple of girls or even up to a harem is good for one's ego and carnal urges but I guess that's not the life I want for me. To each their own I guess. For me, I want a simple life--just to love and be loved by one person. It's too complicated for me to give a lot of attention to a lot of women. I only have one body and 24 hours to give that, and I think one girl can take all of that and then some. Sa akin nga, kulang na nga ang oras na binibigay ko sa biological family ko, tapus may asawa pa ako, kaya wala nang masyadong oras para sa sarili ko, tapus kukuha pa ako ng ibang tao na kakain ng natitira kong oras? Ano mangyayare sa akin? Maaaburido na ako nun. Gamitin ko na lang ang natitirang oras sa tulog at sa sidelines ko; healthy na, yayaman pa. Hehehe. Anyway, I guess it's a good thing na I've learned this particular lesson before I got married. I think I like to search out for life's lessons and learn them the hard way when I was young. So, lemme reiterate, I'm no saint; I'm just a normal guy--with a good head that knows what's what on his shoulders.

 

Silvervic, i didn't say you're a sant and the more i didn't say you've been a saint all along. Lol. i don't know how it was on your past but i'm very glad that see how you seem to have changed as you chose to be a better man.

 

i am no saint when it comes to infidelity. and i have no excuse why i cheated and why i'm still cheating. the only reason why people cheat, and this i tell to my friends, is that they just want to do it. when you decide to marry someone, you've already decided to live with that someone for as long as you both are living. people will come along your way and you'll be tested. no matter how strong or happy you are with your married life, you'd still cheat if you want to. reasons are just excuses. if there' something wrong in your relationship, with your wife/husband, you should talk about it. marriage makes you one. i'm not proud of what i'm doing but this is me. thanks by the way to you and this topic. (",)

 

 

hi jay. thank you for sharing. i am glad how honest you are with your pov.

 

before, i said that there will be no other party or even entertaining the thought of having one... sad to say that i have not maintained how it should be.

 

sa lahat naman ng bagay, minsan talaga sumasablay tayo. may mga bgay lang na sobrang malakas ang kabig sa atin pag don tayo nagmintis. make up for it if you can.

 

before, i said that there will be no other party or even entertaining the thought of having one... sad to say that i have not maintained how it should be.

 

sa lahat naman ng bagay, minsan talaga sumasablay tayo. may mga bgay lang na sobrang malakas ang kabig sa atin pag don tayo nagmintis. make up for it if you can.

 

I think we should distinguish between "titikim" and "napasubo"

 

no more distinction. tikim is even lighter than napasubo.

 

it's your basic human nature at work and your primitive brain (telling you to go ahead) battles it out with your higher brain (don't get into that because it's wrong).

 

i remember Freud's Id, ego and superego. I guess this is what makes us a little apart from animals - ego and superego.