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Writings of the Heart


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I was fiddling with the remote looking for a nice program to watch, when I just decided to watch Rated K instead, not knowing what their segment's gonna be.

 

And there it was, they're featuring Legaspi City. And it just starts pouring in again.

 

Our memories. That escape for our own private world for some 32 hours of just US.

 

Or were you being true to your words when you said, "I may not be physically beside you, but know this... You will always feel my presence wherever you go and whatever you do. From the smallest and the simplest, you will feel me."

 

Goodness!

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  • 2 weeks later...

"I do not know what it is about you that closes and opens. Only something in me understands. The voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses. Suddenly as if the flower imagines the snow, everywhere, carefully descending..."

 

Sorry... I was lost, should be:

"I do not know what it is about you that closes and opens; Only something in me understands the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses. Nobody, not even the rain, has such small hands."

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Hi.

Its been almost 2 months of no contact (on your side at least). You're tougher than I thought. I envy you because until now I can't move past that night when we had our last talk. The confessions you made, those kept me awake at night, most nights. I kind of expected those but hearing them verbally is a different thing. In a way, it's a good thing that you confessed up. It made me realized that my fears we not unfounded, that my mind is not playing tricks on my sanity. We should have ended it a long time ago, but I just love you too much to let you go. I just can't bear the thought of going through my days without talking to you or thinking about you. I wanted it to be for a long time, if not forever. But destiny is not working with us. Now here we are. You have your life and your things, and I have mine. I hope you are happier now whomever you are with. I'm still alone and kind of lonely but that's the way it should.

A part of me will always be loving and waiting for you but we have to work on our own issues, on our own. If ever you found this letter, know that I will always be here, ready to accept you at your worst. If you are not coming back to me, I just hope you meet great people, do great things, raise a great family, and have a wonderful life.

Goodbye and goodluck.

 

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  • 4 weeks later...

Alam ko, mali para sa akin ang umibig

kaya pinili kong iwasan ka,

pra na rin sa ikabubuti mo..

pra malayo kita sa maaaring makasakit sa iyo

para malaya kang makapamili kung sino ang gusto at

karapat dapat sa iyo..

 

ganyan kita kamahal, kahit sa isang banda hindi mo ito alam

at nararamdaman..

 

malayo man ako sa iyo, alam ko naman at ramdam ko

na kaw pa rin ang mahal ko..

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I always thought i was weak, my heart so fragile and easily deceived. I tried to hide my weakness put on a mask for everyone to see, but everytime i look in the mirror i still see the old me trying to break free. I loved you with everything i have, wanted to give you everything i can and wanted to be just the man you always dreamed of but it seemed destiny had other plans for us, you showed your love a different way so that made us go our own separate ways. Goodbye is just the beginning our chapter is still not closed for me because maybe, just maybe this is a test for us to know who we really are...

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  • 2 weeks later...

You think I dont know anything? Not because I'm taking things in a stride and We are talking the way we used to means that I am ok and everything is alright. You just dont know the hurt I feel inside and its ripping me apart. I know your lies, your alibies , your excuses . Please have the balls to tell me how you really feel cause the most terrible feeling is you are there but your heart is not.

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  • 1 month later...
Guest Riveria

"We need a witness to our lives. There's a billion people on the planet… I mean, what does any one life really mean? But in a marriage, you're promising to care about everything. The good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things… all of it, all of the time, every day. You're saying 'Your life will not go unnoticed because I will notice it. Your life will not go un-witnessed because I will be your witness.'"

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Im on a payphone trying to call home all my change i spent on you......where have the times gone baby its all wrong where are the plans we made for two....if happy ever after did exist i will still be holding you like this all those fairy tales are full of s@%t....You turn your back on tommorrow cuz you forgot yesterday i gave you my love to borrow... but you just gave it away.....

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I saw your real facebook account (Ahh, that one you chose to hide before?, yes, that's it). So, that's the real you huh. Took you that long to come out (not the homo way)? I knew even before but I was hoping I was wrong. As always, my guts are always right. Anyways, its water under the bridge now. I'm pretty sure you feel at peace knowing you don't have to hide anything from someone. I just wonder why hide it in the first place and with me? I don't want to know the answers now, it wouldn't matter anyway. Doesn't hurt anymore because the expiration date is always hanging by my head, like an ax. No regrets, the choices I made are done with clear heart and conscience. Would you say the same thing about yours? Just think about that and hopefully you can carry it over the next significant person in your life.

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I guess you're here to stay like a stain, a mark on my skin, a scar on my chest where my heart is. And like the blood inside me, you'll keep on flowing all through out my being.

 

I'm finally accepting this. But it doesn't mean my heart is still feeling and beating the same for you.

 

I take a step forward each day that pass. No matter how small the distance may be, miles will be covered and I shall get there... Healed and free.

 

And you can never have me again. Never touch me again. Never have my smile again.

 

I will belong to another. I will be touched by another. My smile will be for another.

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