How Would U Know If He/she Is Cheating?

[silver_ff]

if you've been with that person for quite sometime then it should be easy to feel wether he/she is cheating..there will be changes in the usual things that u do,,emotional attachment will change..ur partner gets a lil colder,less intimacy..less interest in what u say or do..less effort in making u happy,,less time to spend with u..when u already feel this talk to ur partner or do an investigation..lol!!

[Seishi]

^ Very true

 

Anything that is out of his usual routine and yes, when he turns extremely sweet and romantic than before. hmmm

[bestbuysecurityguard]

based on my experience, sudden loss of sexual interest by my wife..

[mc_darklight]

siguro if all of a sudden bigla nalang syang nawalan ng time para syo...

 

or palagi nalang kayong nag-aaway sa mga small stuff

[nashty]

Based on my experience, even though you've got a new job, moved places and all.. if you want to make it work, you'll do something to make it work.

 

If the effort isn't there, then something is wrong. If you've talked to her already and things didn't improve, then it might be time to move on.

 

There could be a lot of reasons she might lose interest.. and one of them is she is "distracted" with someone else. But based on the information you've told us, it doesn't conclude that she is seeing someone else.

 

Worst case scenario: She is playing around with someone else. Someone from the office maybe.. and she "goes out" with that person when she says she's been doing errands. (I hope she doesn't say she sleeps over or may company overnight).

[MikeyArrovo]

pag ibang pangalan nabanggit nya pag naglovemaking kami

[• Jiraiya-san]

gut feel ... siguro pag lagi na lang siya nagagalit sayo without any reason at all.

[Gambler_m]

why is it that most answers here are based on emotion not rational

[CharlesOngSy]

By reading the signs of the times.

[display name]

check her FB Wall.

 

kidding aside, may mga indicators naman.

 

like for an instance, she suddenly stopped enjoying the things you do together and the time you usually spend together decreases alarmingly.....

 

 

Specific examples:

 

kapag naglalakad kayo at nakasalubong nyo ang mga friends nya, then pinakilala ka nya as "kaibigan lang."

 

kapag nanunuod kayo ng sine, dati pareho kayong nasa balcony, then all of a sudden gusto nya dun ka sa deluxe..

 

kapag bigla ka nyang tawaging "Honey".... kahit na heart ang tawagan nyo.

 

kapag text sya ng text tuwing magkasama kayo.... tapos sa kumpare mo pumapasok ang mga messages.

[jgc813]

You would know coz normally girls are honest

 

Frankly speaking, I really don't know if girls are normally honest as you ascertain. I don't know if there is any scientific study ever conducted regarding the innate honesty of either of the genders, and if there is really a marked difference between the two. Please educate me.

 

Having said that, I'd like to make a note regarding honesty and its correlation to cheating.

 

I'm sure, everyone has lied some time or another. However, I believe there is a difference between lying and lying. To distinguish further, may I use the terms defensive lying and premeditated lying. And, may I also give attention to my operative definition of the term lying. To me, it is when you say something that is exactly opposite of what is in your mind.

 

While lying is lying, I still think there may be gradations of one's fault depending on the situation, and depending on the motive.

 

I'd like to believe, all of us lie defensively once in a while. This happens when we are put in the spot, and when we want to "cover up our tracks," or defend/support someone close to us. For me, it's a human trait, and while I do consider it a fault (or sin) to lie, I believe defensive lying could, somehow, be justifiable.

 

On the other hand, premeditated lying is something different. It is planned and determined. Usually, premeditated liars have a hidden motive or agenda, and that is to way-lay someone, or obtain something by means of deceit.

 

There is also the habitual liar. When premeditation and habit join forces, then, lying becomes a pathological condition. A pathological liar is either sick, or outright evil.

 

How would you know if your bf/gf is cheating? I'd say, you can't early in the game. BUT, if your SO is a habitual liar, I'd say BEWARE. S/he has the propensity of cheating on you. A habitual defensive liar is also something to be wary about.

 

My ex was a frequent liar. They were small insignificant lies. But I wondered "why the hell does she need to lie to me?" on several occasions.

 

An example:

 

Me: Has your mother sent you your allowances already?

 

Her: Not yet. Mommy said she's short and will pass on sending for this week. (Her mother worked abroad.)

 

Later, I found out her mother DID SEND her her allowance. Why did she need to lie to me in that regard? Her allowance does not affect the state of our relationship. Whether or not her mother sent her, I'd still treat her, and give her an amount as I usually do. My question was totally a very innocent question.

 

Here's another example:

 

Me: (on the phone) Where are you now?

 

She: I'm in (name of the mall). [in the background, I could hear a dog barking.]

 

She sounded like she was in someone's house. There are no barking dogs in a mall, specifically, in the mall where she said she was in. As I know, there isn't even any pet shop in that mall, and I know pets are not even allowed in that mall.

 

My list can go on and on. I have caught her lying to me countless times. During those moments, I have kept asking myself why did she have to lie in situations that were non bearing to us? In time, I had started to doubt her sincerity even if she was, in truth, very sweet and caring.

 

I could have been lacking in the fact that I have never confronted her in those occasions. I feigned innocence, and I just gave her the benefit of doubt that she truthful.

 

When she left for the middle east, we promised each other to keep in touch frequently. I kept my part of the bargain. After about 3 months, she started to change. And then, she started giving a lot of 'excuses' and seemingly understandable reasons. But because I knew she was a habitual liar, I started my own investigation. True enough, I found out she was already cheating on me. And, may I say, she was cheating big time (she was sleeping with her another guy), and lying straight through her teeth denying everything point blank.

 

A Caveat: be wary of habitual liars!

Edited February 24, 2012 by jgc813

[bin]

pag may binago ng sa mga gingawa nyo routine..

[Observer08]

Frankly speaking, I really don't know if girls are normally honest as you ascertain. I don't know if there is any scientific study ever conducted regarding the innate honesty of either of the genders, and if there is really a marked difference between the two. Please educate me.

 

Having said that, I'd like to make a note regarding honesty and its correlation to cheating.

 

I'm sure, everyone has lied some time or another. However, I believe there is a difference between lying and lying. To distinguish further, may I use the terms defensive lying and premeditated lying. And, may I also give attention to my operative definition of the term lying. To me, it is when you say something that is exactly opposite of what is in your mind.

 

While lying is lying, I still think there may be gradations of one's fault depending on the situation, and depending on the motive.

 

I'd like to believe, all of us lie defensively once in a while. This happens when we are put in the spot, and when we want to "cover up our tracks," or defend/support someone close to us. For me, it's a human trait, and while I do consider it a fault (or sin) to lie, I believe defensive lying could, somehow, be justifiable.

 

On the other hand, premeditated lying is something different. It is planned and determined. Usually, premeditated liars have a hidden motive or agenda, and that is to way-lay someone, or obtain something by means of deceit.

 

There is also the habitual liar. When premeditation and habit join forces, then, lying becomes a pathological condition. A pathological liar is either sick, or outright evil.

 

How would you know if your bf/gf is cheating? I'd say, you can't early in the game. BUT, if your SO is a habitual liar, I'd say BEWARE. S/he has the propensity of cheating on you. A habitual defensive liar is also something to be wary about.

 

My ex was a frequent liar. They were small insignificant lies. But I wondered "why the hell does she need to lie to me?" on several occasions.

 

An example:

 

Me: Has your mother sent you your allowances already?

 

Her: Not yet. Mommy said she's short and will pass on sending for this week. (Her mother worked abroad.)

 

Later, I found out her mother DID SEND her her allowance. Why did she need to lie to me in that regard? Her allowance does not affect the state of our relationship. Whether or not her mother sent her, I'd still treat her, and give her an amount as I usually do. My question was totally a very innocent question.

 

Here's another example:

 

Me: (on the phone) Where are you now?

 

She: I'm in (name of the mall). [in the background, I could hear a dog barking.]

 

She sounded like she was in someone's house. There are no barking dogs in a mall, specifically, in the mall where she said she was in. As I know, there isn't even any pet shop in that mall, and I know pets are not even allowed in that mall.

 

My list can go on and on. I have caught her lying to me countless times. During those moments, I have kept asking myself why did she have to lie in situations that were non bearing to us? In time, I had started to doubt her sincerity even if she was, in truth, very sweet and caring.

 

I could have been lacking in the fact that I have never confronted her in those occasions. I feigned innocence, and I just gave her the benefit of doubt that she truthful.

 

When she left for the middle east, we promised each other to keep in touch frequently. I kept my part of the bargain. After about 3 months, she started to change. And then, she started giving a lot of 'excuses' and seemingly understandable reasons. But because I knew she was a habitual liar, I started my own investigation. True enough, I found out she was already cheating on me. And, may I say, she was cheating big time (she was sleeping with her another guy), and lying straight through her teeth denying everything point blank.

 

A Caveat: be wary of habitual liars!

 

Quite a nice read. Thanks for this!

 

My contribution: when she says "he's just a friend" countless of times instead of "I know you're uncomfortable seeing him around me but he's really harmless to our relationship, to reassure you then I'll try my best to avoid him from now on."

 

Too late for me though, I should have realized that by using the first line above - it meant that it was the beginning of the end of our 7-year relationship. She should have just broken it up with me before entertaining such foolish thoughts as taking that guy seriously. Guess, she really just wanted the "bad boy experience" that a lot of women are attracted to.

 

I had a hard time accepting that, I love her very much but I reached my breaking point with that revelation and I had to tell her that I would be lying if I'd say I would not jump at the chance to get back together... it's just more important for me that she takes her life more seriously and going our separate ways would be the most logical thing to do.

 

I wanted that lesson to be my greatest contribution to her life... I simply had to say goodbye. I do wish her all the best that this world has to offer.

[jgc813]

Quite a nice read. Thanks for this!

 

My contribution: when she says "he's just a friend" countless of times instead of "I know you're uncomfortable seeing him around me but he's really harmless to our relationship, to reassure you then I'll try my best to avoid him from now on."

 

Too late for me though, I should have realized that by using the first line above - it meant that it was the beginning of the end of our 7-year relationship. She should have just broken it up with me before entertaining such foolish thoughts as taking that guy seriously. Guess, she really just wanted the "bad boy experience" that a lot of women are attracted to.

 

I had a hard time accepting that, I love her very much but I reached my breaking point with that revelation and I had to tell her that I would be lying if I'd say I would not jump at the chance to get back together... it's just more important for me that she takes her life more seriously and going our separate ways would be the most logical thing to do.

 

I wanted that lesson to be my greatest contribution to her life... I simply had to say goodbye. I do wish her all the best that this world has to offer.

 

This is another example of a premeditated lie, which really irks me to the max. The nerve of your ex telling you straight to your face "he's just a friend" when she was already having him as a possible substitute, or -- who knows? -- already sleeping with him. Such a lie smacks of a face so brazen. (Pardon my pun. I know you still love your ex.)

 

Which makes me doubt Saint Peter 5858's previous post, i.e., "you would know coz girls normally are honest." Probably. But I do know that some girls could lie big time more than any guy could. These women could really be scheming.

 

 

 

 

[CharlesOngSy]

Behavior nya