How Do Filipinos View Balikbayans?

[MentalQ]

Its really not fair to generalize; some are good guys and some are ... (please supply the appropriate noun).

For me, what I can never appreciate (even if, by and large, there was no malice intended; as mentioned, they were just creatures of their environment) is the undertone of "how could you people live like this/tolerate that/find it acceptable!" Worse than perceived arrogance is the annoying feel of condecension or the sense that they were probably the only ones or the first one to notice that things are wrong.

Re accents and language - My American secretary from way back could tell if the person I was talking to on the phone is a Filipino or of a different race. She said I tended to roll my r's and enunciate my o's clearly when speaking to a Filipino. She also says that my conversations with a Filipino tends to have 60 percent English phrases in them.

[boomouse]

i can only speak for myself.  the 1st time i went back to the PI in 1999....i was appalled.  i complained alot and wanted to get out.  thats because i expected things to happen the way things happen in the US.  since then, ive become less judgemental and just tried to experience things how they are.  i could see how filipinos might have thought i was being stuck up being in the situation i was when i first came to the PI.  so for me....i think some of "arrogance" came from expecting things to look, feel, and things to happen like in the states.  thus my attitude was poor.  but i learned from the cliche, "when in rome, do as the romans.  ive appreciated more things that are positives of the PI.  now i love the place.  i go to the PI twice a year just to vacation.

 

so maybe for some people....their arrogance could stem from being frustrated.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

The fact that you use the abbrev "PI" to refer to my country already betrays the bias that you grew up with. Don't you know that "PI" is a pejorative? It is a drawback to the days when the great white American colonizers considered the Philippine Islands as a backwater hardship posting.

 

Balikbayans are the result of darwinian selection. They could not take the environment (political, economic, cultural) of the mother country and decided that they had better move to a different (I don't know about better) place else they perish becuase they are not equipped with the right survival skills.

 

And then, when they feel that they have somehow managed to establish themselves in their refuge countries, they troop back to my country as if to validate their decision to leave by bitching and complaining about how we prefer to do things. They forget that they couln't really cut it in this country in the first place--that is why they left.

 

I lived abroad for close to a decade but I turned my back on the foreign exchange, the nice cars, the cool shops because:

 

1. I wanted to live in a big house that I did not have to clean, with a big yard that I did not have to sweep and tend, eat any kind of food I want without having to cook it myself, take as many showers as I want and as many changes of clothes I want without having to wash and iron them myself. For these, I could afford to hire househelp which even with the optional social security and health insurance, is still affordable.

 

2. When I step out to the garage the cars will always be washed and waxed and vacuumed.

 

3. I, my wife, and my kids can decide to go anywhere in the car without having to drive themselves if they do not want to drive.

 

4. I can eat as well as what Americans eat if I choose to and yet I know where to buy the best lechon, inihaw na bangus, talaba, and sinigang na maliputo that even the most resourceful balikbayan would have a hard time finding in the country he has ran off to.

 

5. My kids go to nice schools, pass the UP entrance exams with no problem and act responsibly. They keep their word on our deadline agreements and don't answer back the way I have personally seen American kids do and threaten to call "911".

 

6. When I get home, I ask for slippers, newspaper, and coffee and they appear by my side.

 

7. Where is no snow to shovel, no yard to mow, no leaves to rake because what little needed to be done is being done by someone else.

 

8. My wife does not have to work to provide supplementary income. She does not get stressed by having to do housework either. When I get home or meet her somewhere after work, she looks 15 years younger than her cousins who hied off to the land of milk and honey where you do all the work.

 

Some of you may thinkI inherited all to these. No. I am a product of the Philippine Public School system. Toro Hills Elementary School in Project 8, QC, Quezon City Science High School, and UP. In college I was a working student. I worked my way through. No one said it was easy, but I achieved the Philippine dream and I tell you, it is a lot better than the American dream because it is so much better to be comfortable around your own kind.

[murusame]

Amen to that.

[boomouse]

i actually have a theory regarding why some of the wealthier filipinos have some sort of animosity towards balikbayans.  they are so used to acting so high and mighty they cant stand it when balikbayans dont care about their status and treat them no different than anybody else.  for me i treat everyone the same no matter their social status....but some rich filipinos think theyre better than others.  im not saying everyone is like this.....just some.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

First, can we all cut referring to the Republic of the Philippines as the "PI"? "PI" is a purely colonial label applicable only to when we were a colony of the US. Unless to have a direct intent to demean the Philippines, then "Philippines" will do nicely. More syllables, I know but that should not be hard to learn. After all, you guys won't let yourselves be caught using "nigger" instead of "african american" in your mother country.

 

Second, I will admit that I count myself as belonging to the group of better off Filipinos that you just might consider wealthy although I do not know if you are using Philippine or US terms of reference. But please define "high and mighty". Personally, when I encounter a balikbayan on the street I do not feel any animosity towards him or her. The "outre" fashion sense may strike me as droll and cause me to label it as "redneck baroque" or something in my mind but I certainly would not go out of my way to demonstrate any overt reaction to the esthetic affront. Of course, neither would I go out of my way to smile and make them feel welcome.

 

Balikbayan relatives however will remain relatives irrespective of where they come from and how they look. I will keep my opinions to myself but will certainly draw the line when any of my family tries to emulate their accent, attitude, or (shudder) fashion sense.

 

This my country, I live here, I pay my taxes here, therefore, I will choose how I wish to behave in this country as I think befits the people I interact with. If they happen to be foreigners (or balikbayans--no difference) and they don't like it, they are free to leave--which is exactly how they would feel had I been in their country and our roles were reversed.

 

Therefore, while I do not feel it is right or proper for me to behave as if I were better or superior to other Filipinos, I see no problem in behaving differently towards foreigners who deserve the treatment. Because certainly, if they behave that way in YOUR country think about how they might behave when you are in THEIR country. If they can't stand it, they can always leave. That si why they are balikbayans in the first place.

[jt2003]

Folks, I don't want to argue. But let's not make a big thing out of the use of PI. It's simply a nostalgic term for those of us who are old enough to remember a time when our country was still among the top nations in Asia. It was well in use in the 50s and 60s, and in informal discussions it's still nice to use. And yes, I love our wonderful PI.

[black cat]

Depends on how they behave. If they behave as if they were an alien.. then, I treat them as if they were an alien. Otherwise, I treat them the way I treat most people.

 

On the arrogance thing.. I don't think it's arrogance nor frustration.. it's more of they just want the environment to adapt to them instead of them adapting to the environment. :hypocritesmiley:

[mach10]

So why does everybody I know back there wanna ditch PI and go somewhere else? I wonder why there are so many nursing students? And do you all know how many mail-order brides are out on the net trying to score to they can jam out of PI? Balikbayans are not the only ones complaining. Everytime I go back there, it seemed like people are always whining about the same exact sh!t the balikbayans whine about. Traffic, pollution, no jobs, the gov't sucks, it's scorching hot, PAL is always late...sh!t like that. Unless you're livin the high life like Boomouse...life can suck hard back there.

[Guest Leviticus]

So why does everybody I know back there wanna ditch PI and go somewhere else?  I wonder why there are so many nursing students?  And do you all know how many mail-order brides are out on the net trying to score to they can jam out of PI?  Balikbayans are not the only ones complaining.    Everytime I go back there, it seemed like people are always whining about the same exact sh!t the balikbayans whine about.    Traffic, pollution, no jobs, the gov't sucks, it's scorching hot, PAL is always late...sh!t like that.  Unless you're livin the high life like Boomouse...life can suck hard back there.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

There are plenty of reasons, general or personal. Mostly it is because of circumstantial or situational.

 

The most popular answer to your question why there are so many wanting to leave the country is "Mahirap ang buhay dito" and "Job opportunities".

 

There is also the colonial mentality. Since bata pa ang idea that life outside of the Philippines is better than living here is instilled so naturally the biggest achievement that is percieved is to get out of the country.

 

Sadly, I know of one mother that wants her daughters to be japayukis because nagseselos siya with her neighbours and other kamaganaks who have been japayukis and now umaasenso. The sad part is ayaw magwork ng mother and gusto na lang magpasocial and other stuff.

 

Rampant din ang news about families being torn apart because nagkakaroon ng 2nd (even 3rd) families abroad ang mga OFWs.

 

About the mailorder brides naman, same thing: To get out of the Philippines para masustentuhan ang mga pamilya. I can't really imagine the sacrifice these guys who chose to be mail order brides.

 

Other reasons are: to escape prosecution, to begin a clean slate, because nandyan na ang family nya, etc.

 

The most prevailant reason kaya gusto umalis ng Philippines is better opportunity.

 

I am from the provinces who transfererred to here in Manila. Dito na ako sa Manila nagwowork. Sa start it was a big culture change sa akin; within the Philippines pa ako ah. People here in Manila have it sooo good interms of economics and opportunity. Here, taken for granted nila ang norms of their lives; a so-so attitude or happy go lucky view of situations. It's a bit hard to describe actually.

 

I have balikbayan relatives (who doesn't these days) who, thankfully, do not do much whining about the social situation here in the Philippines.

 

Balikbayans are given a bad rep*tation because they often say "In the states..." and "wala yan sa states...", etc.

 

Yes, we know the situation looks bad. We are not blind or apathetic to our Philippine's plight.

 

Masama lang ang dating sa amin when balikbayans whine and complain. Lumalabas na "high and mighty" ang mga statements. There was even this one guy that commented that "nasanay lang kayo because you don't know any better, unlike me na nakaexperience here sa states" and even went ahead to say "dyan na kayo sa Pilipinas niyo". Comments like that are relates to the proverbial "breaking the camel's back".

 

Some would point out that its becaue of guilt or selos kaya negative ang tingin namin sa mga balikbayans. Not really. It all boils down to plain irritation; parang dagdag pahirap lang when people start blabbering about the obvious. We know that there is room for improvement when it comes to our system and way of living. We know the problems and other bad things about Philippine soceity, especially our government.

 

Ayan tuloy ang stereotype para sa mga expats and balikbayans are complainers and whiners. All we ak is that tumigil na lang kayo sa complaints ninyo and either makibagay kayo (do as the Romans do) or do something about it. Do you think society would be more accomodating to you when you point out the obvious and complain? No way!

[Mr. Shagwell]

amen

[igol ays]

so some people get irritated at balikbayans who point out what may seem obvious to filipinos; i can accept that...

 

just on this board alone, there are lots of non balikbayan members who point out the same things. all you have to do is look at threads with political and economic themes. question is, do you get irritated by them (non balikbayans) as well?

[jt2003]

so some people get irritated at balikbayans who point out what may seem obvious to filipinos; i can accept that...

 

just on this board alone, there are lots of non balikbayan members who point out the same things. all you have to do is look at threads with political and economic themes. question is, do you get irritated by them (non balikbayans) as well?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

Quite frankly, sir eagleyes, no. It's because the criticisms, while the same, come from two different perspectives. One is often colored with derision and condescension (and the thought that the source of criticism can always leave and will actually leave), the other with a sense of helplessness and despair.

 

The same criticism from two parties can come across very differently, depending on where each is coming from.

 

In one instance in the movie "Gridlocked," for instance, the Tim Roth character kept using the "N word," which got him into trouble. So his friend, an African-American (Shupak Takur), told him not to use it. "But you use it all the time," Tim Roth says. Shupak replies, "Yes, but you're not black."

(Words to that effect anyway)

 

I hope you get what I mean.

Edited May 21, 2005 by jt2003

[scott_summers]

actually... theyr not different as us nowadays

[igol ays]

Quite frankly, sir eagleyes, no.  It's because the criticisms, while the same, come from two different perspectives.  One is often colored with derision and condescension (and the thought that the source of criticism can always leave and will actually leave), the other with a sense of helplessness and despair.

 

The same criticism from two parties can come across very differently, depending on where each is coming from.

 

In one instance in the movie "Gridlocked," for instance, the Tim Roth character kept using the "N word," which got him into trouble.  So his friend, an African-American (Shupak Takur), told him not to use it.  "But you use it all the time," Tim Roth says.  Shupak replies, "Yes, but you're not black."

(Words to that effect anyway)

 

I hope you get what I mean.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

fully understand, although there is a little difference. the balikbayan after all is a fellow filipino.

 

after i made the post, i was thinking that instead of the negative reaction, the comment could be taken as an opportunity for a healthy, positive discussion (that is, of course if the balikbayan is able to fully comprehend the different causes of all the ills he/she observes).

Edited May 21, 2005 by eagleyes

[Guest Leviticus]

On a positive note, balikbayans remit their dollars here through their family (if ever) that lives here in the Philippines.

 

Also, they have this "outsider" perspective because of their exposure outside of the country.

 

Balikbayans are also Filipinos, they can whine and complain and stuff along side their fellow countrymen. They are Filipinos, yes, but Filipinos who have the option of leaving the country.

 

To be graphic; there is a big difference between the balikbayan who opts to live and work here as compared to one who is only on vacation (who is gonna leave anyway).

 

Ang labas ng balikbayan who complains ay parang visitor who overstayed their welcome.

 

It is like a guest who was invited to dinner but during the course of dinner all the guest does is complain about the food, the house, the service, etc; of the host. Ginawang restaurant ang bahay ng host :grr:

[12Ten]

I came and spent about a month in the Philippines just recently. I pretty much grew up in the US but always had the urge to go back to my home land and possibly stay for good.

 

I dare not digress, but as a balikbayan, I do believe we are misconstrued. I can assure you that I have nothing against my fellow Filipinos but the main difference is contributed to the diversity in culture, values, lifestyle...etc. For instance, people who are outspoken in the states are considered intellectual and the ones that are not outspoken are considered lame. In the Phillipines, being outspoken is a sign of arrogance.

 

Rather than misjudging the balikbayans, I think we should think twice and consider their experiences in a foreign land. To become sucessful, one needs to fit and adapt in a diversed environment. One of you will be a balikbayan someday, I don't think it would be fair if you are misinterpreted...right?! I thought so! ;-)