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Status Updates posted by clandestinecuddles
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My sex life is like the weather ....sometimes dry na dry or wet na wet!!!
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Mabuti pa ang POKEMON GO hinahanap mo pero ang POKEMON KO deadma sa yo.
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Penis ka ba? Lagi ka na lang galit na galit sa akin!!!
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Women are like streets after being drenched with rain.....they are both slippery and wet!!
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To my sick hubby:RX Take full dose of WIFEYTOTHEMAXTROCYN FULL STRENGTH every 3 hours. FELLATIOCIM as needed . Complete BEDBREAST AND SEXCERCISE 2 times a day. If symptoms persist consult a PSP . Di na kaya ni wifey SEVERE LIBOGINITIS , COMPLICATIONS DUE TO HORNYCITIS INf#&kTION And ERECTUS GRAVISIMUS mo.
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What's on your mind?Our drainage system is like the penis of a man who hasn't been laid for a while..... KONTING ULAN LANG BAHA AGAD!!! Madali ba magbaha sa inyo? If yes there must be something wrong with your PIPE!! :)
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Marriage...... FREE SEX which you have to pay heavily for.
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Every woman deserves a man who will text her even when he is playing. That's call of duty.
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Give it to me please!! I'm so f#&king wet!!!! How could you leave me standing in the rain? I need that umbrella right now!
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To my ingitera neighbor.. Penis ka ba? Lagi ka na lang galit na galit sa akin haha
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Sex is like the 13th month pay. Ang tagal mong hinintay pero dadaanan ka lang at hindi lahat ay nakakatanggap!
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Some Relationships are like BJ's. Yung babae lang ang nagtratrabaho!!!
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Sex is like cooking Anybody can do it but only some can make it delicious!!!
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My sex life is like THE GAME OF THRONES. It has ended and I will surely miss it!!!
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I haven't done this for the loooooooongest time ang maligo sa ulan!!!!!
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Nothing lasts forever!! Even problems and stress. Have a stress free week ahead everyone.
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If stress can burn fats, I'll be really sexy by now, maybe a Super Model at that!!
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The difference between sex and shopping is that in Sex you cannot return it if you don't like it.
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I wonder how I got an EXCELLENT reputation here. whoever is responsible for this .... Thank you !!
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A man's penis is like an elevator.... It takes too long to cum, it leaves you hanging and it DOESN'T GO UP ALL THE TIME!!!
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A PENIS is like a GIFT... you'll never know if you'll get one, it comes in different shapes and sizes...You have to open it to see the "surprise" inside...too bad you cant return it, if you dont like it.
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I feel HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!!! Looks like it's gonna rain.
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A naughty thought is a terrible thing to waste!!!!!!!!!
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Feeling abandoned hurts more than being "bitin"