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clandestinecuddles

[13] EXALTED II
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Status Updates posted by clandestinecuddles

  1. My sex life is like the weather ....sometimes dry na dry or wet na wet!!!

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. Luis Toledo Tinio

      Luis Toledo Tinio

      extremes ba? lol

       

    3. koki_

      koki_

      mag ingat sa storm surge

    4. logickisser

      logickisser

      ayan na tag-ulan, malay mo

  2. Mabuti pa ang POKEMON GO hinahanap mo pero ang POKEMON KO deadma sa yo.

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. poohgeh23

      poohgeh23

      haha natawa ako dito..! im sure pag di na hinahanap ang pokemon mo im sure ibang porkemon ang hinahanap nya.

    3. NightWriter

      NightWriter

      Hahaha! Thank you for making my day!

    4. Petron

      Petron

      I can take care of that pokemon....:)

  3. Penis ka ba? Lagi ka na lang galit na galit sa akin!!!

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. clandestinecuddles

      clandestinecuddles

      Yes drooling pa nga.

    3. bigbaddann

      bigbaddann

      Drooling? I don't think that's a good sign if it's involuntary... Hahaha

    4. clandestinecuddles

      clandestinecuddles

      It even charges like a bull :)

  4. Women are like streets after being drenched with rain.....they are both slippery and wet!!

    1. no foul

      no foul

      Hahaha not slippery when wet?

    2. clandestinecuddles

      clandestinecuddles

      @no foul .Nope it's slippery and wet :)

    3. no foul

      no foul

      So its both.. Thats nice to hear.. :) slippery and then wet

  5. To my sick hubby:RX Take full dose of WIFEYTOTHEMAXTROCYN FULL STRENGTH every 3 hours. FELLATIOCIM as needed . Complete BEDBREAST AND SEXCERCISE 2 times a day. If symptoms persist consult a PSP . Di na kaya ni wifey SEVERE LIBOGINITIS , COMPLICATIONS DUE TO HORNYCITIS INf#&kTION And ERECTUS GRAVISIMUS mo.

    1. lonelylooker

      lonelylooker

      Thanks doc ... LOL !

    2. clandestinecuddles

      clandestinecuddles

      @lonely looker di lang po ako dr. nagtatawas din po ako :)

    3. DorkVader

      DorkVader

      Saan? Sa armpit?

  6. What's on your mind?Our drainage system is like the penis of a man who hasn't been laid for a while..... KONTING ULAN LANG BAHA AGAD!!! Madali ba magbaha sa inyo? If yes there must be something wrong with your PIPE!! :) :)

    1. Gambler_m
    2. clandestinecuddles

      clandestinecuddles

      @casanovva thanks. hope your pipes are working fine.

    3. Gambler_m

      Gambler_m

      its working..fine? that is the question.. :-)

  7. Marriage...... FREE SEX which you have to pay heavily for.

    1. multisport

      multisport

      but worth it sometimes :)

       

    2. clandestinecuddles

      clandestinecuddles

      @multisport yeah it is. Family is a result of that freesex and parang Mastercard its priceless.

    3. DorkVader

      DorkVader

      Marriage does not automatically mean free sex. Women/wives are smart. Meron hidden trade off yan. Read the fine print.

  8. Every woman deserves a man who will text her even when he is playing. That's call of duty.

    1. wakangamoks

      wakangamoks

      yup, that's correct

    2. clandestinecuddles

      clandestinecuddles

      @wakangamoks di ba dapat lang?

    3. DorkVader

      DorkVader

      True but I hope you don't mean playing around. Then that's an entirely different matter.

  9. Give it to me please!! I'm so f#&king wet!!!! How could you leave me standing in the rain? I need that umbrella right now!

    1. Mango Man
    2. clandestinecuddles
    3. blacklantern

      blacklantern

      you're fukking wet -- okay. wet ka while in the rain . . .okay. while standing huh, okay. nd you want someone to give it to you huh? with an umbrella huh?

  10. To my ingitera neighbor.. Penis ka ba? Lagi ka na lang galit na galit sa akin haha

    1. Viola

      Viola

      this is funny. hahahaha.

    2. clandestinecuddles
    3. logickisser
  11. Sex is like the 13th month pay. Ang tagal mong hinintay pero dadaanan ka lang at hindi lahat ay nakakatanggap!

    1. SiLvErClAw
    2. Guns of the Patriots

      Guns of the Patriots

      Tax deductible ba? Hahahahahaha

    3. Petron

      Petron

      Hehehe nice.... Let have "13th month pay" then hehehe

  12. Some Relationships are like BJ's. Yung babae lang ang nagtratrabaho!!!

    1. BettyConfidential
    2. clandestinecuddles

      clandestinecuddles

      Ay naku Ms. Betty masakit sa panga haha

    3. clandestinecuddles

      clandestinecuddles

      @papriv123 yun ang dapat!

  13. Sex is like cooking Anybody can do it but only some can make it delicious!!!

  14. My sex life is like THE GAME OF THRONES. It has ended and I will surely miss it!!!

    1. irmguy

      irmguy

      Then lets hope it is more like Aria Stark; embarking on a new adventure. Rather than stabbed in the heart like Daenary Targarian. ;-)

    2. clandestinecuddles

      clandestinecuddles

      Theres always a sequel.....

    3. j

      j

      akala ko it has ended and the ending was a bit disappointing, not what everyone was expecting.

  15. I haven't done this for the loooooooongest time ang maligo sa ulan!!!!!

    1. tororista

      tororista

      basang basa sa ulan, walang masisilungan..

    2. clandestinecuddles

      clandestinecuddles

      Oh Aegis.. Got wet not because walang masilungan but my choice

  16. Nothing lasts forever!! Even problems and stress. Have a stress free week ahead everyone.

    1. Droidz1979

      Droidz1979

      am a forward thinking person so am kinda wishing that it's the weekends already :P

    2. clandestinecuddles

      clandestinecuddles

      @Droids1979 I know how you love weekends :)

  17. If stress can burn fats, I'll be really sexy by now, maybe a Super Model at that!!

    1. Droidz1979

      Droidz1979

      and i'd be skin and bone's.. but it can't so I guess i'll have to make do with running then :P

    2. clandestinecuddles

      clandestinecuddles

      @Droidz yeah aint no fun to be stressed and all.Jogging slims you down and is healthy. Stress sheds pounds but adds wrinkles.

  18. The difference between sex and shopping is that in Sex you cannot return it if you don't like it.

    1. Mango Man

      Mango Man

      Esp. for women, you can't exchange for a larger size. hahaha

    2. clandestinecuddles

      clandestinecuddles

      @Mango Man so true..It should be one size fits all.:)

  19. I wonder how I got an EXCELLENT reputation here. whoever is responsible for this .... Thank you !!

    1. fire_breather

      fire_breather

      CC, pm me where I can e-mail really good stuff for VC's material. Cheers!

    2. no foul

      no foul

      thanks for accepting.. :))

       

  20. A man's penis is like an elevator.... It takes too long to cum, it leaves you hanging and it DOESN'T GO UP ALL THE TIME!!!

    1. Little John

      Little John

      it depends on how many times you want to go up.

      of course, give it a little rest. its not a machine after all. =)

    2. clandestinecuddles

      clandestinecuddles

      @mylittlejohn haha you are right it doesn't go up all the time. it has to go down too. And I'm not speaking of the elevator.

  21. A PENIS is like a GIFT... you'll never know if you'll get one, it comes in different shapes and sizes...You have to open it to see the "surprise" inside...too bad you cant return it, if you dont like it.

    1. lonelylooker

      lonelylooker

      well you can dump it it if you really don't like it or if you get used to it... as long you don't get attached to it

    2. clandestinecuddles

      clandestinecuddles

      @lonelylooker gotta take a peek inside first and take a look before I dump it.lol

  22. I feel HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!!! Looks like it's gonna rain.

    1. deathgrip19

      deathgrip19

      san ka nagwowork?

       

    2. clandestinecuddles

      clandestinecuddles

      @deathgrip19 I work at home

  23. It's not the size, it's how you use it.

  24. A naughty thought is a terrible thing to waste!!!!!!!!!

    1. yee

      yee

      kung pwede sanang pambili ang naughty thoughts..lol

    2. clandestinecuddles

      clandestinecuddles

      yeehaa ay naku if pwede for sure millionarya ako :)

  25. Feeling abandoned hurts more than being "bitin"

    1. blacklantern

      blacklantern

      Lalo na yung feeling stranded. Not just left you and abandoned you but really left you marooned -- stranded. That happened to me.

    2. clandestinecuddles

      clandestinecuddles

      Oww . That must have hurt deeply. Sorry to hear that.

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