clandestinecuddles
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Status Updates posted by clandestinecuddles
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Sex is like money , its either you have plenty of it or you don't. Gosh , Im broke!!!! How about you, are you filthy rich?
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CUDDLES QUESTION FOR THE WEEK ??????? What is the difference between a PENIS and TIDE DETERGENT BAR? The Penis - The harder you rub the BIGGER and REDDER it gets Tide Detergent Bar- The more you rub the SMALLER it gets clothes get WHITER Ikaw ano ang "bareta " ang gamit mo?
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SEX is like CANDY CRUSH. Addicting, exciting,sweet, sometimes frustrating. You dont want to stop,you can do it anywhere and when you are dead somebody out there can give you life. You can even do it with friends!!
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The key to a succesful relationship is to clear your internet history.
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Oh wrong timing!! I have already taken off my bra and I dont want to go out anymore.
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Gone fishing!!
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A PENIS is like a CORPSE, they are both BURIED, The difference is ang PENIS ay UMIIYAK when buried while ang CORPSE ay INIIYAKAN. And both have LIFE after DEATH.
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i'm so bad and naughty that I DO it on the bed, in the car, in the kitchen, in the garage, Anywhere!!!! Posting in MTC is such an obsession!!
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A dick a day keeps the vibrator away
but on second thought , a vibrator is a better lay!!! -
When I think of you, I want to play.............................. Hampas Palayok or Tumbang Preso!!!
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A woman who doesn't know how to cook should find a man who doesn't know how to eat!! Sa tagalog, ang babaeng di marunong mag fellatio ay dapat humanap ng lalakeng hindi marunong mag cunnilingus!!
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Ang galing mo palang mag ANAL. YOU ARE DOING IT BEHIND MY BACK!!!! Kung di ko pa nabuking. I was clueless.
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Ang isip ko ngayon ay parang pubic hair. Tangled at magulo!!! Haist
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Nasaan ka ng kailangan kita? Saan???? Tinanong ko sa pera ng mag kita kami
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My sex life is like the grave.......once a year na lang kung dalawin!!!!!
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A Woman's place is on a man's face!!!
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WOT..The only time im a WOMAN ON TOP is when im on top of a ladder cleaning the ceiling fan!!
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My sex life is like my bank account. It needs to be updated or else magiging dormant !!!
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Men are like LOW PRESSURE AREAS or HABAGAT. You never know when they are cumming and how many inches (of rainfall) you will get. And when PAGASA predicts it,more often than not laging SABLAY!!
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Ang PENIS ay Parang Kanin...... May maputi, may brown at may mapula. May matigas , may malambot at katamtaman lang May bagong Ani, at may laon na May mabango at amoy lupa na Pwedeng organic commercial o imported May mahal at may mura at minsan pinipilahan pa Di nawawala sa mesa Pareho silang kinakain at sinusubo!! May AM na lumalabas pag kumukulo At pag di mo like.... You can alway's spit them out . Ikaw ano ang kanin mo? Happy Valentine's Day everyone!!!
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I wonder how it is freeing myself and letting go.........
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Missing you so much that I want to hug my pillow and pretend its you
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Mas masarap ang BAWAL!!!
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Hubby and I still have ORAL SEX anytime anywhere. Whenever we meet I say f#&k YOU and he says f#&k YOU TOO!!
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For old people SEx is like Candy Crush.......You still wanna play pero wala ng BUHAY!!!
