Yavanna

convince yourself you're much better off without... regardless of the truth...

just about anything the makes you smile or laugh... like this video...

KEN LEE

lately... just in my room...

puyat... pero hopefully makatulog early later...

ang weird mo naman... nakalimutan mo agad na may flood control dito?

inconsistent

dearest monkey,

musta na? im back in mtc just because i have nothing better to do today... reregistered member ako i guess... but i dont really miss mtc much... i think i've outgrown it after a year of being here...

i'm sorry i turned down your (ehem) chicken inasal invitation last Monday... pasig was it? i had issues... i still do... plus im a loyal customer of that favorite joint of ours... butterflies all the way!

anyway... when you texted me the following day (Tuesday afternoon i think) about how you miss me and i asked "why?" and you said you just do... with the sad face and the sigh... that had me thinking... again... i miss you too, babe... so much... and i started thinking about us again... all those months we were together... haaaayyyy... your messages always do magic on me... and im happy that even after more than 2 months of putting up a "cold wall" as you call it, you're still there... still reaching out... all i can do is sigh... sorry for ignoring your messages... sorry for pushing you away... i just thought that was the right thing to do... pre-Holy Week resolution ko yata un eh... i really wish you have a good life with her... even if it's not perfect... i wish you'd find the real happiness you deserve because what you have is sacred...

and still i miss you...

i miss your loft sa malayong doon... just hanging out... playing house... sleeping... kissing... cuddling... watching dvd... making love all day and all night til the next day... more than 24 hours of anne-time at a time... those were deliriously happy thursdays for us... september was a good month...

i miss your bedroom sa malapit na doon... and how we had to keep quiet so that we wont get discovered...

i appreciate you driving from that far off town of yours in the morning... so that you can pick me up in this far off town of mine before lunch... just so we can go back to that far off town of yours again for late lunch... don't think that effort went unnoticed... i miss you spoiling me and doing those crazy and impractical things for me... :flowers:

i miss our 5minutes that extended to more than half an hour each time... getting out of bed was just difficult...

during our first three months... we used to go out every week... sometimes twice a week... all hours of the day... how can i not miss those times? you'd pick me up and bring me home all the time... im sorry i could not introduce you to my mom even when you wanted me to... i just didn't want to lie to her further...

i miss our daily marathon chat and text sessions... man... one chat went on for more than 12 hours non-stop... i know i can always talk to you... and i like the fact that i could...

i miss fighting with you... and forgetting all about it 5 minutes later...

i miss our trips to uhm... which serves uhm... other things aside from chicken inasal... too bad we didnt get our discount card... hahaha... at least a dozen times yata tayo dun... naikot ba natin lahat ng themes?

i miss you holding my hand during our long drives in and out of town... i miss caressing your arm and back and nape and how you'd purse your lower lip as you drive...

i miss lake caliraya... i miss that huge church we could not find the entrance to... i miss that chapel with an underground crypt... i miss them because i went there with you...

i miss watching you wade your feet in the waters of wawa like a child... we only went there together once and you said we'd be going again to go spelunking... will we ever have the opportunity to do that?

i miss planning our next adventures... even if they weren't feasible... baguio... subic... sayang... i wish we did those when we had the chance...

i miss tagaytay and dining overlooking taal... i think that was the time you were still figuring out how you'd kiss me... nagpapa-cute ka pa nun... remember your monologue on yellow? the answer to your question is YES, i would most likely have...

i miss your "im invisible" message... i remember the movie Sliding Doors... that was our Sliding Door moment, babe...

i miss you telling me those three magic words... and the mini-you-and-me you used to talk about... precious little ones...

i miss your kisses... oh well... i miss kissing in general... i miss you lying on top of me exhausted and how you'd kiss me after... oh sweet... our last time felt so good... too bad i couldn't kiss back that day... i think i got the virus from you in late january and i just never recovered from it until early march because of the many activities i had... hahaha... seriously... the same thing happened in october... when you got sick... and i had the same symptoms a week later... see... sometimes you just weren't good for me... :upside:

i miss a lot of things about you...i miss being crazy with you... i miss your dry wit... i miss those useless pieces of trivia you'd throw my way... i miss your smile and how your eyes smile with the rest of your face... it was that staring session we had that drove you crazy, am i right? i still think i won that contest because you cheated... you had your eyes closed for a time...

i think i know why it happened on my end... it was due to that huge piece of chocolate cake you served me one afternoon in september... you placed a large dose of love potion in it... jesus... that cake was so huge it took me until morning to finish it... that was the same morning you were torturing yourself as to whether you should do it or not...

have i mentioned i miss you cooking breakfast and dinner? i also miss driving through BK and getting those huge burgers... and how i'd hold your burger as you drive and eat... or we'd just find a place to park and have a quick bite... i miss our late night bites in one of your fave quick fix place...

i miss posting your name and you posting mine... and how we were so obvious and obviously not... hahaha...

i miss writing love letters for you and crying as i do... :cry: and not having the courage to give them to you... given what we were... i was so scared of giving anything that you could keep... :cry: :cry: :cry:

i miss a lot more things about you but i cant put them all down in one post...

i miss you so much... and yet i know i did the thing which would be best for you... even though it hurts... and i have lost sleep and weight and tears over it... :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: i did it before for someone else... and it still hurts like crazy...

you know how i feel for you... i need not say it here...

always yours,

banana :heart: