Guest Posted February 7, 2005 Share Posted February 7, 2005 i need to understand this... after an argument...it was obvious he got upset with me...then he said he wants his space. I asked him if this means he's no longer my bf...he says "hindi na lang muna. You know how much I love you but i just can't right now." When i asked him if he would come back to me after he has sorted out whatever issues he has at the moment...he said "Oo, nagkakandarapa pa." I asked him if his love for me would outweigh whatever his going through now...he says "hopefully..." What does he mean by all of this?! I am giving him his space...i hurt in the process...and i don't know if he's ever coming back... i need advise...<{POST_SNAPBACK}> take it for what it means. he needs time alone to think. if he really wanted to end it, he would have so said right away. maybe he just wants a break so that he can better understand the situation. he may also want to evaluate how things are going. he just needs to weigh things first. it doesn't mean he doesn't love you but he beeds the time to think. you must now try to do a delicate balancing act. you need to give him space while at the same time not act as if you are setting him free. he still needs to feel your presence. good luck! i'm sure you'll need it Quote Link to comment
perfectass Posted February 7, 2005 Share Posted February 7, 2005 sa madaling salita....he want to try or look for others pa...to play the field once again... Quote Link to comment
chelly Posted February 7, 2005 Share Posted February 7, 2005 take it for what it means. he needs time alone to think. if he really wanted to end it, he would have so said right away. maybe he just wants a break so that he can better understand the situation. he may also want to evaluate how things are going. he just needs to weigh things first. it doesn't mean he doesn't love you but he beeds the time to think. you must now try to do a delicate balancing act. you need to give him space while at the same time not act as if you are setting him free. he still needs to feel your presence. good luck! i'm sure you'll need it<{POST_SNAPBACK}> i respect naman that he needs his space...in fact even if it pains me i try not to text him nor call him. it's so difficult.... i emailed him a letter though...telling him i realize that i contributed to the problem and apologized for behaving that way...i also thanked him for the memories and that i will love him even if he decides not to come back and i wished him well in his journey and if he ever comes back to me i will welcome him with open arms but if not i will accept it also with love in my heart. did i do the right thing by emailing him? this is so very traumatic to me... i tried calling him up twice over the weekend...he's was sleeping daw both times...i feel offended and rejected... di ko na alam gagawin ko did Quote Link to comment
mary_antoinette Posted February 7, 2005 Share Posted February 7, 2005 e di ibigay mo lang space na hinihingi niya. ganyan talaga, kelangang bigyan mo siya ng panahon na mawala ang inis sa utak. kasi, kapag ipinilit mo na makipagbalikan nang wala sa oras, lalo lang maiinis yan. pero wag ka namang maghintay na parang engot. pakiramdaman mo rin. kung sobrang tagal naman na at hindi pa siya bumabalik, aba girl, tanungin mo na kung ano na ba talaga ang gusto nyang mangyari. mag-offer ka na ng break-up para ma-settle na ang issue. habang naghihintay ka naman, wag ka na ring masyadong umasa na magkakabalikan pa kayo. kung magiging kayo ulit, at least hindi ka na madi-disappoint. Quote Link to comment
Guest Posted February 7, 2005 Share Posted February 7, 2005 i respect naman that he needs his space...in fact even if it pains me i try not to text him nor call him. it's so difficult.... i emailed him a letter though...telling him i realize that i contributed to the problem and apologized for behaving that way...i also thanked him for the memories and that i will love him even if he decides not to come back and i wished him well in his journey and if he ever comes back to me i will welcome him with open arms but if not i will accept it also with love in my heart. did i do the right thing by emailing him? this is so very traumatic to me... i tried calling him up twice over the weekend...he's was sleeping daw both times...i feel offended and rejected... di ko na alam gagawin ko did<{POST_SNAPBACK}>hard to say. maybe he's playing hard to get this time or maybe he just wants to be alone. in any case, what your feeling is perfectly normal. you do know one possible consequence of this is that he'll have you in the palm of his hands. you can be a puppet. but that is an extreme situation. i'm sure if he loves you, he'll never do such a thing. one thing though, the way you described your email makes it appear that you're resigned to the fact that he'll never come back. Quote Link to comment
chelly Posted February 7, 2005 Share Posted February 7, 2005 one thing though, the way you described your email makes it appear that you're resigned to the fact that he'll never come back.<{POST_SNAPBACK}> as you said...it's a balancing act...i wanted to wish him well...not pressure or demand anything from him. i know he's confused and stressed...and to presuure him would be counter productive thats why i said that if he decides to come back to me then i will welcome him back...but if not...then i would accept it. yes, the decision is his now...he's the driver. i'll take the ride until such point when i feel i should but if i feel i shouldn't hold on anymore...i also have the choice to get off the ride. what do you suggest i do to make him feel my presence without pressuring him? Quote Link to comment
Guest Posted February 7, 2005 Share Posted February 7, 2005 what do you suggest i do to make him feel my presence without pressuring him? at this point, there's nothing much you can do except to do the occassional hi's and hello's. the hard part in your situation is that society frowns upon women wooing men so it makes your situation all the more difficult. one thing that you shouldn't do is to lose touch with him. in the meantime, i suggest that you go out with your friends and try to enjoy life without him. losing him is not the end of the world. Quote Link to comment
chelly Posted February 7, 2005 Share Posted February 7, 2005 what do you suggest i do to make him feel my presence without pressuring him? at this point, there's nothing much you can do except to do the occassional hi's and hello's. the hard part in your situation is that society frowns upon women wooing men so it makes your situation all the more difficult. one thing that you shouldn't do is to lose touch with him. in the meantime, i suggest that you go out with your friends and try to enjoy life without him. losing him is not the end of the world.<{POST_SNAPBACK}> okay...i could do that...not lose touch with him...i even called him twice over the weekend... texted him but he doesnt come to the phone...asleep daw...and he doesnt reply to my text. to keep texting him or calling him to just say hi would make me feel more rejected than i already am... it is plainly obvious he doesnt want to talk to me... drowing in despair... Quote Link to comment
black cat Posted February 7, 2005 Share Posted February 7, 2005 Hi Chelly! If he needs space, then give him just that. I believe that if he really loves you, he will soon realize his mistakes and ask you back without you making any effort (to make him come back). Guys are guys. Kung ayaw na nila, di mo sila mapipilit.. the same way na pag gusto ka nila talaga, they'll do everything (even swallow their pride kahit ikaw pa may kasalanan) just to win the girl's heart. Quote Link to comment
Guest Posted February 7, 2005 Share Posted February 7, 2005 okay...i could do that...not lose touch with him...i even called him twice over the weekend... texted him but he doesnt come to the phone...asleep daw...and he doesnt reply to my text. to keep texting him or calling him to just say hi would make me feel more rejected than i already am... it is plainly obvious he doesnt want to talk to me... drowing in despair...<{POST_SNAPBACK}>how long ago was it? if it's been only a few days then its way too early to drown in despair. your guy will come to his senses. either he tells you in straightforward manner that he's dumping you or he wants you back. give him the time and space he craves. at the same time give yourself the time and space that you deserve. to always text and call him at this point implies a sense of desperation as well as makes it appear that you can't even give him his simple request of time and space. this will only irritate him more which is soemthingyou cannot afford to do at this point Quote Link to comment
chelly Posted February 7, 2005 Share Posted February 7, 2005 how long ago was it? if it's been only a few days then its way too early to drown in despair. your guy will come to his senses. either he tells you in straightforward manner that he's dumping you or he wants you back. give him the time and space he craves. at the same time give yourself the time and space that you deserve. to always text and call him at this point implies a sense of desperation as well as makes it appear that you can't even give him his simple request of time and space. this will only irritate him more which is soemthingyou cannot afford to do at this point<{POST_SNAPBACK}> yes...i think it's too soon...and his behavior of not replying nor answering my calls only tells me he's plainly not ready to talk to me yet. he's in his cave. i am in despair....simply because i don't want to lose him...i realized that i love him too much. :cry: Quote Link to comment
perfectass Posted February 7, 2005 Share Posted February 7, 2005 Hi Chelly! If he needs space, then give him just that. I believe that if he really loves you, he will soon realize his mistakes and ask you back without you making any effort (to make him come back). Guys are guys. Kung ayaw na nila, di mo sila mapipilit.. the same way na pag gusto ka nila talaga, they'll do everything (even swallow their pride kahit ikaw pa may kasalanan) just to win the girl's heart.<{POST_SNAPBACK}> i totally agree with that.. Quote Link to comment
chelly Posted February 7, 2005 Share Posted February 7, 2005 Hi Chelly! If he needs space, then give him just that. I believe that if he really loves you, he will soon realize his mistakes and ask you back without you making any effort (to make him come back). Guys are guys. Kung ayaw na nila, di mo sila mapipilit.. the same way na pag gusto ka nila talaga, they'll do everything (even swallow their pride kahit ikaw pa may kasalanan) just to win the girl's heart.<{POST_SNAPBACK}> yeah...guys are guys... and yes, no matter what i say or do he will make the decision by himself. masakit pero true. thanks sis...i just feel like someone so important to me died...and im helpless... tama sila...you only realize how much you're loosing when you've lost it. i just pray he comes back to me...i wasn't naman that bad for him to dump me like that...i just wish he'd come to his senses...soon. pray for me... Quote Link to comment
Guest Posted February 7, 2005 Share Posted February 7, 2005 yes...i think it's too soon...and his behavior of not replying nor answering my calls only tells me he's plainly not ready to talk to me yet. he's in his cave. i am in despair....simply because i don't want to lose him...i realized that i love him too much. :cry:<{POST_SNAPBACK}>ah the proverbial, you never know someone's value until you lose him/her. well as they say what you're feeling now is a sense of major despair and regret. let me ask you this, if he was at fault how long will it take you to accept him back? don't say right away because you'll be lying to yourself. be honest and use that period as a gauge. Quote Link to comment
black cat Posted February 7, 2005 Share Posted February 7, 2005 (edited) yeah...guys are guys... and yes, no matter what i say or do he will make the decision by himself. masakit pero true. thanks sis...i just feel like someone so important to me died...and im helpless... tama sila...you only realize how much you're loosing when you've lost it. i just pray he comes back to me...i wasn't naman that bad for him to dump me like that...i just wish he'd come to his senses...soon. pray for me...<{POST_SNAPBACK}> Hey... know what? Everything happens for a reason. ALWAYS.. God has better plans... It's okey if you wanna sulk in a corner for awhile.. give yourself time to heal. If he eventually asks you back.. think about it first... sometimes, being in a relationship is not all about love. How easy for him to give up on you (kahit kasalanan mo pa)... do you think he's still worthy of your love? Edited February 7, 2005 by black cat Quote Link to comment
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