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Airam

 

 

 

Since day one, I have always felt that you don't like me. I respected that. I know I can't please everybody.

And I still respect that until this very day. All these years you never gave me a chance. Not even a single one. You never even tried to know me better.

I'm not the nicest person but we could have atleast tried, ya? I have always respected you and admired you.

You were such an 'icon' I look up to since I first met you over the net. When we met in person, you were just as cold as ice.

I have always tried pleasing people so I'd feel that somehow I belong even if it takes away my pride and self-esteem.

You were different though. You just don't like me. Period. I don't hate you. I just wish you'd give me a chance. Give yourself a chance to get to know me.

 

 

Airam

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you,

 

hmm now you made it complicated (in my head) ... ill just have to borrow Ms. Sara Teasdale's words.

 

 

I hoped that he would love me,

And he has kissed my mouth,

But I am like a stricken bird

That cannot reach the south.

For though I know he loves me,

To-night my heart is sad;

His kiss was not so wonderful

As all the dreams I had. huh.gif

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from http://theduke.blog.com/

 

 

My Dearest Denise,

 

Year in and year out, your Birthday makes us (me and your Mom) just a little ‘sad’ because we know that you’ll have grown up one more year, gone away from us a little more, and would have made new friends to spend your time with; thus, taking away precious time you could have spent with us. Nevertheless, you will always stay with us in our hearts, whenever and wherever you are- year in and year out.

 

As your father, I cannot fathom and understand, being a man, how my once little daughter is going to fare and face the realities of life. This makes me insecure and this feeling overshadows my relationship with you my dear. It makes me overprotective – sometimes to a fault. For me, you never ‘grow up’ and is always, the small girl who depended on me to fix a broken hand or a leg of your dolls, and fought with your sister and pet dogs to sit on my lap and be caressed and kissed.

 

When we push you to make you do things you don’t want to, it isn’t because we just want you to follow our wishes- that would only be selfish. Actually, it would be a lot easier for us to simply allow you to do whatever you want. The truth is that imposing discipline is, in fact, difficult for us because we’d rather spend the time we have with you just enjoying your company and having fun. But there should be a balance of work vs. fun, love and life, as well as moral norms to means of today’s generation. Sure you would invoke the argument of the so-called ‘generation gap,’ but there’s something like a line of gold thread running through the parents’ words when they talk to their children, and gradually over the years it gets to be long enough for you to pick up in your hands and weave into a cloth that feels like love itself.

 

To become successful, you will have to develop the ability to give up some things that you might want at the moment, for other things that are more important and beneficial for you in the long run. Be the best that you can be, and value hardwork as you keep both your feet firmly planted on the ground. Remember this: there is no shortcut to success, it is earned, nurtured, and developed. As you soar confidently in your own sky, do not speak ill of anyone; and respect your elders (including those that are not your own). There is nobody in the history of humanity, where a disrespectful mortal succeed in his/her endeavors.

 

There will be times (and there had been times) where your Mom and I will seem unfair or even harsh on you (blame it on ‘generation gap’). But we want to make it very clear to you that whatever advice, direction, or even punishment that we will give you, it comes from a good place, and it is because we only want you to be a better person. I know that, in some instances where I was too strict, you even ‘disliked’ me. God knows that there were times I disliked my parents, too. But now I fully understand where they were coming from. Of course, that was and will always be painful for me since I don’t want to be just a parent but I also want to be a friend. But I should be a parent, first and foremost, and I’m ready to give up many friendship points to insure that I’m raising you the right way. Actually, I never understood what my father meant when he said that it hurt him more than it hurt me whenever he ‘punished’ me, until we had you and your sister.

 

It was my parents who taught me to value discipline and respect. Feelings of worth can flourish only in an atmosphere where individual differences are appreciated, mistakes are tolerated, communication is open, and rules are flexible – the kind of atmosphere that is found in a nurturing family where discipline and respect are paramount. Trust me my dear, many years from now, you will look back and actually thank us for being the parents that we’ve been.

 

A father-daughter relationship is one of the most important relationships that a girl can have growing up throughout his lifetime. Having a father is the first relationship that a girl has with a male, and therefore is a very life shaping relationship. Without a father-daughter relationship, a girl is forced to form her own opinion of how a relationship with their male counterparts should be, and this sometimes leads to tragedy. A woman is able to look back and learn a lot from the father-daughter relationship that they had growing up, and many are able to use it to form other relationships with men that will last for the rest of their lifetime. As John Mayer says “Fathers be good to your daughters, daughters will love like you do.”

 

To a father growing ‘old,’ nothing is dearer than a doting daughter…

 

I love you dearly, Denise, Anak

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Hi my sweetness

 

I hope you're really well. Oh my goodness I am SO sorry about this computer. It's been terrible not being able to write to you =( Anyway, finally it's been fixed and the line works. It was really bothering me to not be able to send you a mail. [/color]

 

I guess maybe there was a good side to this nasty mess –it made me realise how much I couldn't stand to be unable to talk to you. I won't hold back talking about my feelings anymore, I missed you a lot.[/color]

 

Wow, I just couldn't agree more about how I'm feeling about everything. People seem to fight over the most ridiculous of things. All I want in my life is to be happy. I don't want to spend my life at home in a war trying to decide who's the one in charge or what trivial nonsense to argue about next. I'm a calm and caring person, and I just want someone to share that happiness with. I don't want a relationship that is an endless series of falling out and getting back together. I don't think it's being needy to want to feel secure with the person you're with and not feel any difficulties. Some people seem to think a relationship is boring if there aren't dramas and battles. I think differently. Hard work and difficulty should happen outside. Home life should be something to look forward to. [/color]

 

Truthfully, I also want to be able to give myself 100% without needing to think that I might be let down. What I mean is, to be able to lower every possible defense and just give in to someone completely whilst knowing they'll never hurt you and will give back the same love–it must be the best thing you could experience in life. I can't think of anything that would be more satisfying than having that bond and that trust.

 

When a person speaks about a marriage like that, they always say "Oh, they settled down, to a quiet life". It's such nonsense! What's boring about spending every day feeling complete and happy? In any case who said it has to be quiet? I want marriage to be an adventure. There can be adventure in everything from cooking together and snuggling on the sofa all night, to climbing a mountain or exploring a new place together. What's the truth? I'll tell you: People get bored in relationship because THEY are boring. With an awesome person at your side there could never be anything to be bored about. That's my thought in any case.

 

I can't say that I feel easy talking about my positive qualities. To me it seems boastful to talk about my good points, but I know one thing is that I am as loyal a person as you can find and I care about you more than you can guess. You inspire me to be a better person just so I can make you more happy. I don't think I could ever get tired of making you smile and I'd try harder every day. I know we said we'll go slowly, but there's no point in hiding these kinda thoughts. You're so special to me. I feel like God smiled on me to have let me meet someone like you.

 

 

I hope I hear from you so soon, take care of yourself.

 

Kat

Edited by nightwriter
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hey you,

 

there's a warm ball of fire inside me ... it starts on my stomach and spreads around my body. it burns and consumes me, and you can feel it when i am burning up.

 

last night you allowed me to share that fire with you. i felt it leaving my body as it entered yours... and i allowed your fire to enter me too.

 

your fire consumed me, it felt different ... i closed my eyes to feel the pain and release of yours. it did not take long for the fire to make its way across, and i am glad we are normal again.

 

sometimes i wonder if you love this normalcy and you'd rather be like this all the time ... but hey you, its just i never told you my secret... that i am burning all the time. i want you again.

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dear person who asks me to call without saying what i should be expecting,

 

sir, i would like you to know that as much as we are good acquaintances, i will only call you if it had anything to do with guitars. and i seriously doubt that. as a matter of fact i am thinking right now of ALL the possible interesting things you could say within the scope of your personality, and i cannot come up with anything.

 

i actually think you are going to sell me something. so forgive me that i will never call you, or even ask about why i should be calling you

 

 

 

your suplado acquaintance,

me

Edited by Intuition
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