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The Mail Box


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rainy monday

headache and hangover

killer deadlines ready to strike anytime

 

but its a good day

i see a familiar presence

intriguing

fascinating

hard to explain but reassuring, too

in the sense that beneath this seemingly soulless cyberworld

people are falling in love, sometimes out of it.

sometimes just hoping, or wishing

 

alive and love in the air...

wonderful, isn't it?

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At this very moment, I should be sound asleep. But guess what? You're in my head and I find myself wondering how and where you are now. It's been 23 years, dear J. With the road I've taken, I probably won't see you again. Made an attempt to track you down a few years ago out of curiosity but to no avail. I can no longer say I still love you for such words are no longer true. The feeling faded away many years ago. I just hope that you're well and happy right now and I will always wish you the best.

 

As a final note, I always had this song in my head whenever I thought of you back then. Farewell.

 

Goodbye Girl

by: David Gates

 

All your life you've waited for love to come and stay

And now that I have found you, you must not slip away

I know its hard believin' the words you've heard before

But darlin' you must trust them just once more...

 

'Cause baby goodbye doesn't mean forever

Let me tell you goodbye doesn't mean

We'll never be together again.

If you wake up and I'm not there, I won't be long away

'Cause the things you do my goodbye girl

Will bring me back to you.

 

I know you've been taken, afraid to hurt again

You fight the love you feel for me instead of givin' in

But I can wait forever, a-helpin you to see

That I was meant for you and you for me ...

 

So remember goodbye doesn't mean forever

Let me tell you goodbye doesn't mean

We'll never be together again.

Though we may be so far apart you still will have my heart

So forget your past my goodbye girl

'Cause now you're home at last.

Edited by willow_boy
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To ____,

 

What a sad, sad turn of events. I suppose I was wrong to expect much of anything from you, but still, I can't help feeling dismayed at the choices you've made. I suppose we're all free to go to hell in our own ways, but you always led me to believe that you considered yourself above all that, in a sense, and that's what makes this bite so hard. I confess that I'm finding it surprisingly hard to deal. Stunning, don't you think?

 

Honestly, I'm not quite sure I want to know you anymore.

 

Still, it's not as if my opinion matters to you, as you have so heartily reminded me on the few occasions that we've spoken, so I suppose all that remains for me to do now is sigh, shrug, and wish you luck on the path that you've chosen.

 

Good luck, then.

 

-m.

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to the god of employment,

 

 

i am glad that you gave me a job. the pay is good, the place is great and the people are f#&king assholes. im looking forward for a challenge, it gets so boring in the end. plus the were all dicks here. why not send more women? could you transfer me elsewhere? i dont like it here anymore, i get paid for something im not enjoying. it's not fair to the company that i get paid for something that can be done by a monkey hanging upside down eating bananas.

 

your blasphemous ingrate follower,

 

Mr. Pompous

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when youth is gone

and the greys outnumber the blacks

when the present trend looks nauseating on you

and tiny webs appear on your once flawless skin

 

remember your words:

"i am beautiful and desirable

on your knees and i will talk to you"

 

then i will say to my friend,

it was good that we drank, and got stoned

just so you could survive the day

and get over her...

because there is nothing to gain

in loving and giving your life

to somebody so arrogant and self centered.

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You are absolutely not getting it at all. I have to admit it is my fault. It is what I would regard as a rare instance of me admitting I have made a sordid mistake this time... I should not have given you the idea that you can actually tread on it. You cannot.

 

I have been wondering for days where my miscalculation might have emmanated from. It certainly is not my lack of prowress in math for I have already proven that I can work through the numbers too, even if they squirm their damn digits away from my perceived mental incapability to distinguish an intiger from a variable. But with you, wow, I am dumbfounded at the glaring error I have committed. You are absolutely not getting it, not at all.

 

I wish I can spill it out ever so gently, as a reprimand will leave your face, and your dignity, sullen for days, even months, depending on the stability of your emotions.

 

Your persistence is commendable. I have high regards for it. If I were any other girl, I would congratulate you, kiss you even, and soar to cloud nine with the promise of an unquestionable firece loyalty. But get it, man, I am not your usual. Never the ordinary. Not close to the typical. Not at all close to any image you might have etched in your puny mind. But, well, my mistake. My ugly, dirty mistake.

 

I could even venture into analyzing this as a weakness on my part at the time when signals were sent. Your spheres, mister, is definitely not in conjunction with mine. My nebula will suck whatever air of life you have in yours. You will not survive. You cannot cope. You must see that. I cannot understand why you cannot.

 

Perhaps it is the simplicity of your thinking that messes the translation up.

 

Let me try again.....

 

Dearie, I cannot let myself catch me lowering my standards for anybody. Not you, most definitely.

 

That is the most gentle way I can put it. I am sorry I made the mistake. Even I do not know how to flush away the stinking s@%t. You have tresspassed and I cannot even hold you accountable. I opened the gate myself.

 

Damn that moment of incoherence. Damn that moment when I thought I can actually go down from where I am and try to feel the normalcy appreciated by others. Damn it, I have caused myself to fail and dragged you along with the lapse of judgement. It must not happen again.

 

For now, I will wait until such time you tire for I honestly think you will not reach that point where you will stop because you finally understand. And that, my dear, is why I simply can't.

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