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The established wisdom is that no matter how much s@%t it is you're having to deal with in your life, what makes the difference is how you deal with it. Usually a shovel is good. If that doesn't work, a bottle of Jack is fine too, so you can pass out for a while. But you can't run away.

Edited by pussybear
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Life has its ways of surprising you, especially when you least expect it or even if you expect things to happen.

 

My father left us yesterday, January 14, 2013. He expired in his sleep, after battling his illness for a good three months.

 

 

 

A lot of people will not believe me if I say that I wasn’t really close to my father, as they always see my dad taking us to Church and going to family activities with Church members. But this is true, during my teenage years I drifted from my dad, and I’d say rebelled to a certain degree.

 

 

 

Why I rebelled is a long story, but to give a brief background why is I rebelled because I wanted to go against the flow. During those times he did everything that he can to make things right for me, I never understood the reason behind his actions until recently.

 

 

 

I grew up as this lawless violent person who thought of his father as the law who will blanket him and smother him until one cannot breath. Yes I was a very impressionable young man, hiding behind a false sense of logic to distort what is true and what was right. I considered different people as my family and became transient at home, coming and going as I please, bed spacing in my own room, breaking the fourth commandment.

 

 

 

It was during these times that days had become really dark and depressing that I felt I was far from anyone and everything else, I heard one of the advises I have lived to follow; “If there is love between the both of you before and during marriage, then God is in the marriage.”

 

 

 

Contrary to popular belief, I wasn’t a prayerful and God centered person, but I followed this advice by my dad and look where it has taken me; a loving wife and daughter who are always there to support me, a gift from God through my father who made it possible for me.

 

 

 

With how I grew up, I did not know how to express my feeling for my dad, the last time I said I love you to my dad was Christmas, and I still feel a bit awkward saying that to him. I cannot remember as well the last time he uttered those words to me as well, but I remember the same feeling when he last smiled at me because of a bottle of coke.

 

 

 

I just noticed the cliché, Coke Happiness. But I am my father’s son; I felt that love coming out of him towards me while he sipped coke from the bottle that I held. I cannot forget the smile he had when I told him I’d buy a bottle of coke for him. I remember how he was very happy as I told him I was going to Australia for a leadership exchange program. I remember how he pumped his fist while he laid in bed and said God answered his longtime prayer. During this time he didn’t say he loved me, but he made me feel loved all the same.

 

 

 

Dad I thank you for what you have done for me all my life, it never looked pretty in the eyes of people, but God made it that way through you to make me who I am right now. I am sorry for not being a good son to you most of the time, and just be that mediocre son occasionally. I thank you for the legacy you have left behind, thank you for raising me as a person who has a helping heart. Thank you for being a drill sergeant in academics, without you being that way I wouldn’t be the same and wouldn’t have reached where I am right now. Thank you for standing as a challenge for me to become a better person, as I always wanted to prove myself to you that I can be my own man. Thank you for being a friend to me and staying there, even if I chose to disagree with you most of the time. Thank you for the love you have shown for me, from the time I came into this world to the time you return to our Lord.

 

 

 

So long Dad, we’ve found a map to buried treasure, and even if we come home empty handed. We’ll still have our stories; of battles scars, of pirate ships and wounded hearts, broken bones, and all the best of friendships, and when this hourglass has filtered out its final grain of sand I raise my glass to the memories we had.

 

 

 

I love you po daddy.

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