Ang Sakiiit! List

[clandestinecuddles]

Ang sakiiit kala mo you’re the ONLY ONE yun pala you’re the ONLY ONE of many.

[DorkVader]

Had a friend in high school whom I really like. She was pretty. So pretty in fact a lot of my guy friends are attracted to her. During that time I didn't know how to deal with crushes so I guess she couldn't wait any longer and ended up with my affluent Chinese classmate. Their's did not last long though. Months Lang yata. We met again after so many years later and she confided that she was only waiting for me to propose and that ang torpe ko daw. We went out and made out so many times but something kept me from going for the home run. Nasaktan ako when she and my classmate became an item. She was still attractive but I felt she was not worth it anymore. Baka mahulog na naman ako. Looking back, that episode showed my immaturity. My way of getting back at her. I came to realize I wanted to make a statement...this is what you could have had. You blew it. You went for that arrogant f of a classmate, who by the way took her virginity then dumped her. Kaibigan pa rin kami. She is separated now and wants to go out from time to time. I never went out with her anymore.

[chapschaps]

She's just with you for your money.

 

 

MISMO!

[AkoSiThor]

#seenzoned

[dragion166]

Ang sakit List

 

-You think your love and affection is worth to realize your effort, but was thrown away and she only accepted from someone else's love.

Edited December 7, 2017 by dragion166

[BronsonAmo]

One sided love.

[King Koopa]

Yung kelangan mo tumanggap ng pagkatalo

[fredbautista1234]

I had this high school friend. We get along pretty well..we started as a friend hanggang halos lagi ko syang tinatawagan pag gabi at magkausap kami. I am ahead of her ng isang taon. Lagi ko syang hinahatid pag may nagkakaroon ng chance. One time tumawag sya (the least person na tatawag sa akin kasi ako lang naman lagi tumatawag sa kanya) and she said may ibibigay syang gift. So we set the schedule pumunta sya with her friends sa bahay namin and she gave me a painting na sya nag paint (a boquet of flower) yun ung pinaint nya and sinabi niya sa letter na akala nya ang buhay ay about sa pag-aaral lang (lagi kasi syang Top 1/Valedictorian ng batch nya and Top 2 ng Board Exam) and sinabi niya na kaya daw yun ang pinaint nya kasi nirereflect nya ung sarili nya simula nung dumating ako sa buhay nya. Hindi ko binigyan ng meaning yun kasi inisip ko she is just returning the favor dahil naging mabait ako at lagi ko sya binibigyan ng gift. Until now ndi ko pa rin matanggap na pinalagpas ko ang mga bagay na yun. Nakita ko na pala dati ang taong mamahalin ko kaso hindi ko sineryoso. I always call it as my Unspoken Love. I know deep down sa part niya na minahal niya ako at alam niya na minahal ko sya kaso napakabata pa namin nuon at hindi pa namin alam na mahal namin ang isa't isa. Hanggang ngayon nagsisisi ako bakit hindi kami nagkatuluyan.

[thatHelmetGuy11]

I had this high school friend. We get along pretty well..we started as a friend hanggang halos lagi ko syang tinatawagan pag gabi at magkausap kami. I am ahead of her ng isang taon. Lagi ko syang hinahatid pag may nagkakaroon ng chance. One time tumawag sya (the least person na tatawag sa akin kasi ako lang naman lagi tumatawag sa kanya) and she said may ibibigay syang gift. So we set the schedule pumunta sya with her friends sa bahay namin and she gave me a painting na sya nag paint (a boquet of flower) yun ung pinaint nya and sinabi niya sa letter na akala nya ang buhay ay about sa pag-aaral lang (lagi kasi syang Top 1/Valedictorian ng batch nya and Top 2 ng Board Exam) and sinabi niya na kaya daw yun ang pinaint nya kasi nirereflect nya ung sarili nya simula nung dumating ako sa buhay nya. Hindi ko binigyan ng meaning yun kasi inisip ko she is just returning the favor dahil naging mabait ako at lagi ko sya binibigyan ng gift. Until now ndi ko pa rin matanggap na pinalagpas ko ang mga bagay na yun. Nakita ko na pala dati ang taong mamahalin ko kaso hindi ko sineryoso. I always call it as my Unspoken Love. I know deep down sa part niya na minahal niya ako at alam niya na minahal ko sya kaso napakabata pa namin nuon at hindi pa namin alam na mahal namin ang isa't isa. Hanggang ngayon nagsisisi ako bakit hindi kami nagkatuluyan.

Hey dude. I quoted this kasi may bits na kagaya ng ishare ko sa sakit list. The highschool and regret parts. Somehow I feel the sadness like you do. Sakit nu! Haha. Anyway, here’s my story. Pasensya napo sa babasa dahil mahaba. ADMINS!!! or to the member who created this thread, Please delete my post if you find this na sobrang lengthy at against rules ng mtc. Sa babasa, thank you! I just really need to get this off my chest. Sorry!

 

So I had (or still have) this friend from highschool. Kabarkada sya ng then nililigawan ko. Oftentimes sknya ako ngcoconfide o ngkkwento pag may ga problema ako, lalo n about s kbrkada nya. Para saken we were so close back then. We’d text or call each other almost every day after school, mdalas p inaabot kmi ng mdaling araw. I think I spent more time with her kesa s nililigawan ko. Heck, I was even able to convince my parents for the very first time in my life na kikitulog ako s bahay ng iba. Sa bahay nila. Ilang beses narin nmn sumagi sa isip ko na paano kya kung sya nlng ang ligawan ko. Pero imposible at that time. I know she saw me as a friend. Mas mabigat pa e pinopormahan sya ng kabarkada ko (bro code). So to make things short, natapos ang high school life naming, hindi rin nmn kmi ngktuluyan ng friend nya. Worst, I never had the courage to ask her whether may unrealized feelings b between us. Si I left and continued with my life. High school naman yun, isip bata pa kaya I thought it was just a phase n pgtgal e mwwala din. We parted ways without saying a word.

 

I went on and strayed away from the life I had ng high school. I lost communication with all of my friends including her. College. There I met a girl who eventually became my girlfriend. For four long years I thought everything was clear and I’ doing well. Pero after graduation, something unexpected happened. A common friend of ours managed to find me (thank you facebook) and asked me to join a “mini reunion”. Back then we were PMT (CAT for others) officers and there were four of us who considered ourselves apart from the other officers. Thinking how fun it would be to reunite with old friends, pumayag ako. We agreed to meet at pgdting ko, there she was- as stunning as ever. Four long years na walang ha ni ho, she was standing right in front of me. Kamustahan lang, catch up. Inom ng konti. Although limited yung oras, we definitely had fun. I was dead drop wasted at dinala nila ko sa bahay inihiga nila ako sa bahay niya at inihigas sa sofa. Thinking na hindi ko na alam nangyyri, pingkkwentuhan nila ako right in my face. Funny thing was, she told our friend this: “alam mo sabi ni *** ang gwapo daw ngyon nitong si ***. Sabi ko sa loob ko, talaga, dati pa!”. That statement let a grin show on my face. Honestly natawa lng ako thinking na sabi na baka may gusto nmn pla sya sakin dati pa.

 

The following weeks went well and we somehow rekindled our friendship. A few months have passed and we remained in touch. It was also then that we made our mutual admissions na may gusto pla kmi s isat isa nung highschool. Pero it did not materialize dhil nga we’re friends sa respective nililigawan ko/ nanliligaw sknya. We’ve joked around paano kung sya nng niligawan ko and she told me n ssgutin nmn daw sna nya ako kung ginawa ko. She told me na even her mom would have wanted us to be together. Her mom and her sis liked me well and sana daw boyfriend n lng nya ako. It felt good. Dahil when I met her parents and her sister, they gave me a warm welcome as if I’ part of their family. A time came that I was manila bound and so was she. She went to manila for review. Sa few months n yon, we’d meet several times and this one time niyaya nya ako s dorm nila. It was the first time na natulog kami ng magkatabi (ofcourse with the presence of her other roommates). Pero that was all. Nothing romantic whatsoever so don’t expect n may kwentong pang-FR. Haha. We simply still consider ourselves good friends kya siguro it was not awkward at the time. Pero the catch is, my girlfriend ko prin si college girl kaya wla prin tlgng pwdng romance n mgkron s pagitan nmin. I don’t know about her, she’s a bit secretive s lovelife nya pero I doubt kung may bf sya at the time. In fact, I know walang mngyyri at kesa umasa s imposible e ntigil ulit ang communications nmin. Last thing I knew was she passed the board exam.

 

For the second time, lumipas ang mrming taon na hindi kmi nagkakausap. I took up a post-grad course and tarried with my life. Nagiba ako. I had a life with no direction and even affiliated myself as the babaero type. Pero I was lucky dhil despite ng mga pgkkmali ko, my girlfriend was still there and she never left me. Three years. Eto nanaman. Someone suddenly sent me a message. And yes, sya yun. Funny thing was, she asked me a favor to PRETEND AS HER BOYFRIEND to get rid of her suitor na ang kondisyon lang daw pra tigilan sya e pag nptunyang may bf n sya. Apparently I was the best candidate kasi di ako kilala at hnd ako active s facebook. And I don’t know what the f#&k was wrong with me pero pumyag ako. I don’t know why everytimme mgpprmmdam sya sken e excited ako mkita sya, I don’t know how to explain it pero pra akong tanga na bumabalik s nkaraan pg may pgkktaong mkksama ko sya. Everything comes back to me, the memories and the feelings. Mali kasi committed nko. Pero just the same pumunta ako, pinaghalong excitement at anxiousness ang bitbit ko. She and her work friends went on an outing. So ako naman in full “boyfriend mode” na may dala pang chocolates at malaking teddy bear to surprise her. True enough, nniwala ung mga ksma nya s “sweetness” namin. Pero the pretense was without beso o kht holding hands. Ako nmn tanga e paniwala din sa palabras namin. Pero sadly, that didn’t last. After that day e I felt n tinamad siyang mkipgusap sakin. I don’t exactly know what happened or what her reasons were pero nung time n niyaya ko sya lumabas e inignore nlng nya messages ko. As if walang ngyri nung ngpkboyfriend kuno ako. Siguro dahil she knew na kami prin nung girlfriend ko. Sadly, nawala na siya ulit. Once again she came and left. Panglawang beses n sbi ko. It’s not meant to be. She’d come back to my life with all the feelings in it pero in a flick of a finger e aalis din agad sya. Mahirap makiramdam, lalo na dahil ako ung may hindrance, ako yung meron pampigil sa kung ano mang pwdng mgkron between us.

 

Copy paste ung una at pangalwang nangyari. Life goes on bla blab la. Pero eto nnmn, I can’t exactly remember who sent the first Hello. Ako ata. Nagkmustahan lng pero nauwi sa ilang linggong usapan. What I learned was she went abroad to practice her profession. Siguro nga ako ung naunang mangamusta dahil I felt so low at that time. My girlfriend of 9 years (yes, still the same) and I suddenly broke up dahil sa mabigat na misunderstanding. Hinanap hanap ko sya and tried to reach out. Siguro this time pwede. Siguro this time pagkakataon na kami. So we spent several hours a day talking in facebook. Buti nlng may libreng call s messenger. For hours everday ttwag ako sknya kung nkduty sya or before she sleeps. And there was this one time n may ipinangako ako. I told her na pupuntahan ko sya. Na magpapagawa nako ng passport at magaaply ng visa as soon as possible. This time possible na, wala nang naghohold back sken dhil wala nkong commitment. We expressed how we like each other and how we dream n mgmeet kmi abroad, possibly start something out of ourselves. And so I did start a plan. Through best efforts nkpgpa-passport ako. All i need to be granted a visa. Pero I believe na pag planado ang lahat e ska pa nasisira. Sobrang bilis pero out of nowhere nagkausap kmi ni ex at ngkblikan kmi. Ewan. Nalimutan ko bigla yung pangako ko sknya. Ako nmn ung nawala. I ignored her messages. Including her words na “I really like you”. Pero I loved my girlfriend. Deep down kahit “gago” daw ako, I always went back to her and she accepted me. Mahal ko si gf and not wanting to lose her again, we decided to settle down. At the back of my mind, siguro ako at ung other girl e wla lng tlg. We live to serve as reminders of how joyous youth was. Pero inisip ko na the feeling, at siya mismo will just come and go. Na dahil wala nmn tlgng mngyyri, or thinking na hindi nmn totoo everytime sinsabi nyang gusto nya ako, e wla na. I cpuld let go of the past. Yes, I got married a few months after I stopped communicating with the other girl. Mabilis, lahat ngulat. Pero it was my decision.

 

Pero guess what. The day after I got married she sent me a message asking “masaya ka”. I thought it was a valid question so I answered yes. Yun pla it was in a fit of anger na para bng masaya ka kasi niloko mo ako? Kasi hindi ko alam n ikakasal kna pla? And once more nsbihan nnmn ako n gago. Hindi n kmi ngkausap. Galit sya sakin alam ko. Pero hindi ko nrin maintindihan dahil hnd ko nmn alam kung totoo pb sinasabi nya sken n gusto nya ako. A year after, i am blessed with a daughter and im living a contented life. I remembered na nbnggit ni other girl na uuwi sya ng December. So bka sakali lng n hnd n sya galit skin. I messaged her again and saktong sakto nmn n nakauwi n pla sya. 1 week lang sya mgstay. Pinilit ko mkausap sya dahil gusto ko nmn sna n walang hard feelings smin KUNG totoo ngang nsktan sya n ngpksal nko. Pumyag sya. Pero hindi ko tlg maintindihan dhil ang gusto nya e she’d me lang for a few minutes daw. Pra lang daw magkita kmi after a long time. Dahil paalis nrin sya in 3 days. So I went kht pa ang tingin ko e itinataboy nmn nya ako.

 

I parked my car s labas ng resto n tinmbayan nila. And things were not what we both expected. Minutes became more than an hour. The first few moments after the usual hi hello tagal n nteng hndi ngkita e nsundan ng labasan ng sama ng loob. For years gusto ko sbihin sknya bkt paulit ulit nya akong pipaasa n gusto nya ako. Alam ko bawal ako dati pero nung time n pwd e papaasahin nlng nya ako tpos pra syang bula n mwawala. I told her na hindi sa nireregret kong ngpkasal nko, pero nakakapanghinayang lang tlg. She did the same. I asked her, “bakit? Nung time ba n bgo ako mgpksal e mssbi mong mahal mo na ako?”. She answered no. Wala pa daw sa level na “mahal”. Sinabi lang nya n totoo nmn daw lhat, n she liked me so much and she really wanted to be with me. Na she cried for three days after nya malaman n kasal na ako. Hindi ko alam kung maniniwala pa ako. Sinabi ko akala ko mas gagaan pkirmdam ko pag nailabas ko lahat ng sama ng loob ko sakanya. Bkit lalong bumigat? Right there and then. She held her hands in front of me and we held hands for the very first time. Sabi ko, why the hell did it take you all those years pra gawin yan. Sinabi nyang “bakit, ako ba dapat mauna?” and we let out a chuckle. Nasa isip ko it might be the last time na magkikita pa kmi. Siguro nga pumyag lng sya mkipgkita dhil kgya ko, siguro we agreed to meet to finally let go of the past. So naglakas ako ng loob and asked her for one last favor. “Pwede ba kitang mayakap sa una at huling pagkakataon?”. I don’t know if she was waiting for me to say that, because she agreed. Out of respect to my wife, inalis ko wedding ring ko. Dahil for that single moment, kung pwd lang sna na walang hindrances, n Malaya ako, n pwd kme. Inalis ko singsing ko pra mklimutan kht for the shortest moment n hnd n kmi pwd. We hugged each other so tight n pra bang ayaw nming mawala ang isat isa. Pero that embrace also meant na we finally accepted na we can never be together anymore. Umiyak ako. She did not. Pero after the embrace she leaned over. And yes, we kissed. We kissed n prang pwede. Pra sken tumigil ang oras. It took us 13 long years to realize how we wanted that kiss to happen. 13 years bago nya naipramdam sken. It was short. Pero I knew it was sincere. She loved me. Ramdam ko yon kahit hnd nya sabihin. “Goodbye kiss ba yan?” I asked. She said yes. Paulit ulit nyang sinabi n she had to go dahil hinhanap n sya ng friends nya. Pero tinanong ko sya kung GUSTO ba nyang umalis. Hindi sya makasagot. And she stayed a bit longer. Di ko alam pero we kissed again. Mas mtgal, mas ayaw nang bumitaw. Mas totoo. Mas hindi pwede. She immediately got out of the car but not before bidding me goodbye and telling me to “behave”. It’s the last time she said. And she was gone. I got out of the car and tried na habulin sya pero alam kong hindi pwede. I was standing out there pero nririnig ko boses nya at tinatanong kung “anjan p bung kotseng pula”. She did not come out again. And I knew wala na. Ang bigat bigat. Ang sakit. I texted her to thank her for seeing me, without saying anything about what happened. And all I got was an “Ingat” reply.

 

Di ko ala bakit nagpilit pa ako. I told her that I intended to keep my promise na I’ll behave pero I insisted na magkita prin kmi one last time. She reluctantly agreed. Dahil bakit mas dumami p ang what ifs ko. The next day we met at SM, but now she was with her mom and her sister. Awkward. Dhil her mom kept on reminding me when and how we last met about 10 years ago. She told me that tita knows I’ married now. Pero nung ngsamasama kmi for lunch, kinukulit ako ni tita and kept on insisting that me and her daughter should take many pictures together. I don’t know if it was only me pero parang ibinibiro prin kmi s isa’t isa. We spent hours together and it went well. To be honest, ginusto ko lang ult mahwakan kamay nya kht last n. Several times we held hands and she would put her around my shoulders kpag nktlikod sina tita. We knew it was wrong kya hnggang dun lang. ayoko n snang mtpos ung oras. Limited nnmn. I had to go back to my office and I knew time was ticking. Paalis na ako. Baka hindi n ulit kita Makita pa. Pero I had to go, and so do you. I bid my farewell to tita and the sis. Pero we stayed for a while. Seconds, minutes, di ko tanda. Hindi nmin mlaman ggwin at ssbihin. Pero one last time niyakap ko sya at she kissed my cheek.

 

That night I texted her na I promise na even if we failed as lovers, maybe we would’t fail as friens. I sent her several more messages pero hnd n ult sya sumagot. You see, that has always been the problem. S haba ng kwento ko plgi syang susulpot at bigla nrin akong iiwan s ere. Except for that one last time n ako ang nawala at ngpkasal nko. Pero hoping n kht pano ssgot p sya. I still sent her my essages. The following day was her flight back abroad. Kahit anong text o twag ko hnd n sya nsgot. In one last attempt, I asked her. At sinagot nya. Here’s what our final conversation was:

 

“did you mean it? O spur of the moment lang?”

 

“doesn’t matter. You have a wife and kid now. Focus on them okay? Paalis na ko. Ingat ka lagi ***”

 

“it does for me. Mas magaan magletgo ng nrramdman knowing all of it was real”

 

I knew she received it. Or sinadya nyang isend last message nya before boarding the plane and turning off her phone. That was her last txt. And I don’t believe that we’ll talk even through facebook ever again. I wish you could hear me. I wish you’d know. As I’m typing this, her plane is bound abroad. Dati ntatawa ako pg may nririnig akong kwento na yung matanda daw e hnd nkatuluyan ung “love of his/ her life” nya. Masaya naman daw sa asawa at pamilya pero meron daw tlg minsan ang tao n love of his/ her life n hnd mkktuluyan. I don’t find it funny anymore. Kasi masakit pala. I have no regrets with my wife and I love her. Much more na mahal ko yung anak ko. Pero siguro nga this girl would be the one na mamahalin kong hnd pwd. Siguro bata pa kami pero all our lives I have respected her and maybe actually loved her from the start. Masakit. It’s painful to let go. I’ll miss you. You’ll forever be my “almost”. Hindi mo na siguro malalaman, pero my daughter was nicknamed after you.

[redbomber]

Yung sobrang close at intimate nyo na, nahuhulog na loob mo ng sobra, tapos...... tapos.... . na-friend zone or na-panty zone ka lang pala.

 

What-the food!

[glut_func]

yung kuya sya ng kuya sa kin tapos di ko malamang kung may something ba sya towards me or what... pero may syota...

 

ayun, ako na lang ang umiiwas..

[kaulayaw]

Ang sakit talaga ng ma-kuya zoned 😣.

[uaeboy25]

Sakit list? Todo ligaw ka at mahal na mahal mo sya. Kaso grave makabusted say then nilalaro lang sya ng kasama mong piloto

Edited December 8, 2017 by uaeboy25

[Lyse]

Todo effort ka, na dumating sa point na palagi syang sumasama sayo lumabas then naka kapit lagi sayo, tapos susubuan ka bigla ng fries / chips in public tapos sobrang clingy and sweet na bigla ka yayakapin mapa private man or public. Then ipinakilala kana sa family and sa mga pinsan, tito at tita nya. Alam mong boto sayo yung family nya kasi lagi kang pinapapunta sa kanila and gusto ka lagi isama sa mga lakad at outing. Tapos yung pala Kaibigan kalang daw pala nya, ang gusto daw nya is mga hunk ang body type at korean looking guys.

[MrYoso29]

Naging tapat ka sa kanya pero may dumating lang na iba iniwan ka bigla!!