Can You Sustain Your Relationship In A Fast Pacing World?

[mr robot]

Just thinking if there are still couple who have a strong/lasting relationship or it is an imaginary thing nowadays?

What makes for a healthy romantic relationship differs from couple to couple. Forming a trusting and positive partnership takes effort and time. And unfortunately, it doesn’t just happen overnight. For any relationship to grow strong and stay strong, you need to put in some work. Below are some habits that will help create and maintain a happy and healthy twosome.

Communication

Communication is key. It is one of the most important qualities a healthy relationship. However, not everyone knows how to communicate properly ... or even communicate at all. Happy and healthy couples have this game down. They vocalize their love for one another, saying “I love you” often and offering compliments. They also discuss the bad instead of sweeping issues under the rug. In order to move forward and grow, you two need to be able to truly talk about your feelings. No matter how awkward or uncomfortable it feels, it will make for a long-lasting and fulfilling relationship.

Respect

Aretha Franklin sang a whole song about it, so you know it’s got to be important. Respecting your partner comes in many forms. Maintaining a joyful relationship means respecting your partner’s time, heart, character, and trust. However, there are many things people do in relationships that can break down respect, like name-calling, talking negatively about the other to friends or family, and/or threatening to leave the relationship.

Quality Time, Not Quantity

It’s all about quality over quantity. It doesn’t matter how much time you and your partner spend together. The most important part is about the quality of this time. There’s a huge difference between having dinner at a table while talking about your day at work, versus having dinner while sitting on a couch watching the latest episode of The Voice. It’s fine to zone out together and enjoy distractions, but it’s crucial to make sure you two are still engaging and spending quality time together to maintain a deep connection.

Time Apart

Spending time together with your partner is important. But just as important is spending time apart. Being able to do your own things and remain independent is vital. When couples spend too much time together, it can create an unhealthy codependence. Maintaining healthy boundaries and some autonomy will make for a long-lasting partnership.

Love Languages

Gary Chapman came up with the notion that men and women have five love languages. People have unique ways of feeling loved. There are words of affirmation, receiving gifts, quality time, acts of service, and physical touch. It’s important to know which love language speaks to you, along with your partner. Telling each other what makes you feel loved and special helps both of you stay connected. Furthermore, make sure you are attending to your partner’s love language consistently.

The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate, $3.99, Amazon

Appreciation

Often, we forget to let other people in our lives know that we appreciate them. We think it, but we don't remember to show it. This occurs in our romantic relationships as well. Show your special someone that you love him or her. This could be done with words, cards, flowers, acts of kindness, or more. Remember, a flower a day keeps the fights at bay. Okay, maybe not every day, but you get the point.

Positive Vs. Negative

Sometimes, we get caught up in the negative. We hate our jobs, are annoyed with our friends, and our boyfriend or girlfriend is getting on our last nerve. Uh-oh, have we been drinking too much of that half-empty glass? It’s vital that we look at our partner’s positive qualities, in contrast to the negative. Nobody is perfect, and that includes our significant other. So instead of focusing on the bad, let's make a conscious effort to look at the good.

Choose Your Battles

There are arguments to be had in every relationship. It’s crucial to bring issues to the forefront, and work through the hard times together. However, I don’t think arguing over your SO using your favorite coffee cup should be one of those. Choose your battles wisely, because people in happy and healthy relationships do.

Sex

Let’s talk about sex, baby. Let’s also talk about how important it is in cultivating a flourishing relationship. Sex is simple. The more you have it, the more you want it. The other side of that is true as well. The less you have it, the less you want it — and, unfortunately, the less you'll feel connected to your partner. Keep your sex life alive and interesting. "Spicing it up" is not just meant for the kitchen.

No Comparisons

The grass isn’t always greener on the other side. Or even if it is, it might not be the kind of grass you would like. We often compare our lives to those of others — what jobs people have, their homes, their clothes. And with the help of social media, we tend to compare our relationships as well. But the happiest of couples don’t look to see what the grass looks like on the other side. They are happy with the view out their own front door.

Edited October 11, 2016 by FleurDeLune

[Queen Darkeinjel]

my sister has just celebrated their 25th wedding anniversary last june

 

i on the other hand have been in a relationship with one man for 16 years and 9 months, married for 13 years and 8 months.

 

so to answer your question, yes there are still lasting relationships out there.

Edited October 11, 2016 by Queen Darkeinjel

[DareDevil22]

I think that like most things, dynamics of most relationships are changing also. Gone are the days that having these was as simple as courting and maintaining it. Issues are complicated now as well. Its really how much you love a person and how willing you are to adapt for him/her.

[theheartdoc]

I think sustaining a relationship if you're not yet married would be hard especially if you have differing goals and views in life. Conflicts frequently happen, but as long as you know how to give way for each other, learn to adapt with one's behavior and mood swings, and be more sensible with each other you could develop a lasting relationship.

[EL_PY]

I think couples have to learn to slow things down. Yung they take their time. After all, hindi naman need ng couples sumabay sa panahon e kasi kadalasan nakakasira pa ng relationships un. Hinay hinay lang. Relax. Chill.

[Mr_man]

Respect each other and put in what you would like the other to put it. Period.

Problems occur when people start creating unfair rules or grey areas in the relationship, i.e.
-He/she has friends of the opposite sex and yet he/she has issues when the other has such friends.
-Keep each other informed of what is going on in each other's lives.
-Your relationship is private, no need to let the world know when your partner has wronged you 1. Your version is almost always going to be biased to the point that you depict yourself as a victim and the context of your issue might not be known by the person you are telling
- Give each other time. Let her go shopping without you. Let him work on his car without you by his side. Time apart is healthy.
- If your partner is uneasy about something, try to comfort/reassure him/her. Playing defensive will just cause tension
- Do not sweep things under the rug, discuss problems when you can. Don't wait until they are a lot because if you do, you might express your issues with your partner in a fit of rage and all your partner will get is that you are upset.
- Learn about each other. Learn about each other's past, it will help you understand the person your partner is today. Most people skip this and then make assumptions about their partner's behaviour which usually leads to trouble
- Go on dates when you can, but most importantly spend time together
- Don't lie and cheat. Do so if you have no problem with it being done to you.

I could go on, but that is the gist.

[Dutdutan]

Meron pa rin naman.

[khantan]

Easy!

Separate love from sex

Set limits on relationship (ie radius of 1 kilometer from home and work)

Sleep on separate beds, specially if the girls is over 25 years old.

[jimiriv3]

yup

[mr robot]

It's nice to hear story na meron pa ring forever... well you just need to work it out and dont give up.

[ARIES💋]

kalokohan lang lalo na kung naglolokohan lang pala kayo

[TheRedHood]

2 simple rules to follow. . .

 

rule no. 1, the girls are always right.

rule no. 2, if the girls are wrong, see rule no. 1

[❤️Bb.A]

Sa pagkakaalam ko, you can't sustain what you don't have. Sa imahinasyon siguro pwede pa pero sa totoong buhay, yan ay tinatawag na ASAKABOI

 

hahaha keepin it real lang, paps.

Kailangan lang ng realidad minsan talaga

[NynJaCo]

There is still a way to sustain it. But until you can decide that it is the sustainable relationship you want -- then don't.

 

Somehow it is easier to keep a robust and low expectation relationship. IMHO a long lasting one will be felt by both parties and when the familiarity part matured enough then it would the long lasting one

[antonguanzon]

You just have to devote and spend quality time with your partner. It need not be a whole day. A fun memorable lunch or dinner will do wonders to keep you connected.