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Who, What Made you SAD today???


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Yung interview ni Salome Salvi sa Toni Talks :(
 

This is another episode from Toni Talks that brought out my childhood trauma again. 

Whenever people ask me if I want to have kids, I always straight up say “NO” pero karamihan talaga sa mga baby boomers ‘di nila magets why. 

Salome Salvi explained it very well, ‘yung sinabi niya rito reflects me 1000%

“Yeah, I learned eventually na parang hindi ko na maasahan ‘yung magulang ko to be the parents that I deserve as a child. It’s now up to me to parent myself. And that is the hardest thing that I’ve had to do for myself.”

“Maging magulang sa sarili ko, that if I needed anybody. You know ‘di ko maasahan ‘yung magulang ko for money, for emotional supports, for validation. No I have to give that all to myself.”

I don’t want to have kids because I feel like I am not ready and will never be ready physically, mentally and emotionally. A part of me always feels like I am going to be the same as my parents and I am still healing, for having an absent mother and father. 

My lola, lolo, tito and tita were always present to give me love and guidance. But it’s different. It’s still not our own parents guidance and love.

At hanggang ngayon, masakit parin para sakin na isipin na I have to parent myself, and that is the hardest thing for me. But hey, I am an adult now and the best thing I can do for myself is to be better and to pray that my future kids (in God’s will) will not experience the same experience that I’ve had.

I may look strong here, but this is what I built and this is what I taught my younger self. Because I am my own backup.

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Bff thera ko nasira gabi dahil sa katext na lalaki at sa pinadala na pic ng mokong na un. So imbes tuluy tuloy saya namin nung Biyernes, nabwisit si bff. Sana may magawa sana ako para mapasaya siya pero ayaw niya mag open up sa akin. :( Tapos pagkahatid ko pa sa kanya, nagaantay pa sa harap ng condo nila ung kotse ng mokong. Taenang un! Panira ka ng gabi namin!

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