Jealousy. Selos. Sino ang Seloso / Selosa Dito???

[bethoven]

minsan yong boy, minsan yong girl depende na lang cguro sa sitwasyon.......

[Seishi]

Really? In my experience of closeness with women, I have met someone who has not given me any impression of being selosa. When asked whether she was or was not, she answered: "lam mo... yung pagiging selosa o hindi selosa nasa level of maturity yan. The more mature you are, the more you trust, the less selosa you are. The less mature you are, the more you distrust, the more selosa you are."

 

Then, she continued, "lam mo... I have this way of thinking. My bf/husband is my bf/husband when he's with me. When he's not with me, he's not, plain and simple. (The converse also is suppose to be true.) As long as he comes home to me, brings home the bacon, shows his love and concern for me, makes love to me, what more could I ask for? I wouldn't like to waste my time and energy thinking 'with whom is he with, when he's not with me. does he have someone else? is he faithful/unfaithful?' I wouldn't like to believe also all the talks and chismis not unless that I would personally catch him in the act."

 

Does that sound all right? Or is it simply being pragmatic? Didn't she care less?

 

Last time we were together was in 2000. I haven't heard from her since then, and I still wonder if she has already found her mate or significant other.

 

She was very nice, very loving and warm. I should say, "blessed is the guy who would have her."

 

I also agree about maturity.

 

And this is how we normally see it, that if someone isn't that jealous, a person is either doesn't truly care or simply being pragmatic.

 

Women have different views about Jealousy. For me, I treat it as another way to make our innermost feelings be heard. Sometimes, it's not the "bawal" that we seem to dislike when our partner is jealous. It's more on how he delivers the message - did s/he say it with anger? with a firm accusation? with a paranoia attack? with flying plates? all those sorts...

 

Women are viewed to be more "selosa" because we are by nature emotional. But then again, men aren't exempted too. They're a lot scarier...

 

Having a partner who is "seloso" or "selosa" can also be fun too. As long as both of you know how to manage those kind of negative feelings. Healthy talk reaps healthy relationship...

[Sakristan]

Used to be the over jealous type

[Sakristan]

Any ideas guys?

[veinshard]

over jealous ...maybe insecurity?>

[knoll1234]

in my teens yes, may makausap lang GF ko, tanong agad ako, I was possessive and unrealitic, insecure about myself and not trusting...Then I read books, I learned psychology and personality and then I matured. Now, I have restrain, I have control, I have so many positive things that I can think and do besides negativity.

[dirtypop2]

seloso ako, kasi wala nang mapagkakatiwalaan na babae ngayon

[HAPONESA]

Super Duper Selosa ako pero depende naman sa girl na kausap nya... kung kilala ko naman... di ako selos..

[chubbysexyf]

selosa ko but nasa lugar d tulad ng iba na nanghihiya dahil sa selos

[cocoy0]

I used to think that denying feelings of jealousy is part of emotional maturity. No, it isn't. Recognizing what merits jealousy is maturity, and acceptance of such.

[TanglewoodBoy]

everybody gets jealous most of the time...

 

in my case, i just keep quiet and give the cold shoulder treatment, eventually, the lady i am with would know...

 

[morvale]

Oh I am definitely the jealous type. There was once a time when I was in high school that I actually followed my girlfriend around everywhere like a mad bulldog marking my territory. And yes, with the exception of the bathroom (she was a classmate so classrooms weren't a problem), I do mean everywhere. I was so bad that I actually got jealous and we got into a fight because she was assigned a guy lab partner for chemistry who wasn't me. Obviously we have long since broken up and I mellowed out as I got older, but I still catch myself sometimes interrogating my girlfriend when I don't know where she went for more than an hour. Old habits and all that. Hehehe.

[Seishi]

I'm not a jealous person. I simply believe that if "he's not happy with me today, then he won't be happy with me tomorrow". So most often than not, I let the person be.

 

 

Recently, I felt this. Rare for me, but I was jealous over someone I shouldn't be. It made me quiet and cold while I was still trying to know the reasons why. Until he figured it out himself and made efforts to eliminate it even without telling him. That act alone made it sweeter...

 

 

Since both of us are not really the jealous type, acknowledging that feeling once in a while, made me think that a little jealousy in a relationship is indeed sweet.... and yes, fun.

[cHinitababe86]

as for me, i can be the selosa type, pero pag alam kong may dapat pagselosan.

pag binigyan mo ako ng rason. pero if wala, we're ok. smooth sailing.

i would even throw tantrums if i feel jealous at times. hahaha

[jgc813]

I'm not a jealous person. I simply believe that if "he's not happy with me today, then he won't be happy with me tomorrow". So most often than not, I let the person be.

 

 

Recently, I felt this. Rare for me, but I was jealous over someone I shouldn't be. It made me quiet and cold while I was still trying to know the reasons why. Until he figured it out himself and made efforts to eliminate it even without telling him. That act alone made it sweeter...

 

 

Since both of us are not really the jealous type, acknowledging that feeling once in a while, made me think that a little jealousy in a relationship is indeed sweet.... and yes, fun.

 

I always used this as an example... the aspect of drinking, tolerance for alcohol, and getting drunk. I used to be drinking, but decided to quit many years ago. (I realized there was no point in such a seemingly male sign of machismo. )

 

During those times, I considered myself a strong drinker. My tolerance for alcohol was like, wow! I can consume a lot.

 

There were exceptional times, though, when with just a single bottle of beer, I'd immediately feel tipsy and my knees weaken. "What the!" -- I would tell myself. Is my tolerance for alcohol diminishing?

 

I have thus concluded that, even the tolerance for alcohol was not absolute. It depended on your body's condition at the moment: how well rested, how well fed, how well/unwell you are feeling, etc. Change one of those conditions, and voila -- alcohol hits you almost instantly.

 

I guess that's the same with our feelings. We may consider ourselves not the jealous type, and yet, for some strange reason, we would wonder why there may be someone that would trigger the feeling when, actually, "it shouldn't be there."

 

Personally, I never considered myself the jealous type too. But, like you, there are instances whereby I would really 'boil' with jealousy (without making my S.O. know about it, of course ) over someone who may not even be worth the feeling.

 

It's funny, but it's true. And it's even hard to explain why. Which somehow proves that, when it comes to feelings and reactions to feelings, it's really hard to be absolute, or pretend to believe, there are fixed rules.

 

Ain't it nice to be human?