Be Honest, Have You Hurt Someone?why? How?

[borjy]

yeah.. because i can't love her the way she wanted me to..

[robsalvador]

I am hurting someone as she is hurting me..

 

Neither want to..

 

But both just do..

[TanglewoodBoy]

yes, when she tried to get back to me, i couldn't because it will not be a happy ever after anymore, the scars are there when she left me.....and i found someone who makes me happy as well....

 

so, if ever she does read this, i do am so sorry for doing the things i did....

 

if we have met in a different situation, things might have been better for us..

 

[tequila5]

Nung minsan, sobrang upset ako sa relationship namin ng fiance ko, I told him Id do it with another man. Of course hindi ko ginawa. Gusto ko lang na masira ulo nya habang nasa work sya. To get even.

[salbakuta]

Yes,

[Jija]

Yes. That was when I'd just disappeared. Definitely not a clean breakup. And it makes me guilty for a long time. And there's the famous bad karma.

[Rome1980]

Yes, because nagbreak kami kaya nasaktan

[Leyna]

I fell out of love with the guy who was actually my first boyfriend. We've been together for a really long time, and though there are times I've been dissatisfied with the relationship, I held on because I don't want to put all those crazy, wonderful times we had to waste. But things happen, and when I finally had the guts to break-up with him, I couldn't. I have the courage, but I don't know if I can really face the consequences. When we finally broke up, he still tries to win me back, almost beg me. The hardest part is saying NO to him the second time. The hardest part is choosing myself over the man who used to mean everything to me. The hardest part is waking up the next day knowing things will never be the same between us.

 

Not that I regret my decision because we are both happy now with someone else, I just wish that I could tell him -- I am sorry, for breaking his heart. And in case he didn't know, mine got broken too.

[TanglewoodBoy]

I fell out of love with the guy who was actually my first boyfriend. We've been together for a really long time, and though there are times I've been dissatisfied with the relationship, I held on because I don't want to put all those crazy, wonderful times we had to waste. But things happen, and when I finally had the guts to break-up with him, I couldn't. I have the courage, but I don't know if I can really face the consequences. When we finally broke up, he still tries to win me back, almost beg me. The hardest part is saying NO to him the second time. The hardest part is choosing myself over the man who used to mean everything to me. The hardest part is waking up the next day knowing things will never be the same between us.

 

Not that I regret my decision because we are both happy now with someone else, I just wish that I could tell him -- I am sorry, for breaking his heart. And in case he didn't know, mine got broken too.

 

was it a case of you getting tired of seeing him, being with him???

 

it is just a cycle, you break someone's heart, your heart gets broken in return....

 

looking back, i did broke a few hearts and mine got broken in the process also.....the way of the world...

 

[Leyna]

was it a case of you getting tired of seeing him, being with him???

 

it is just a cycle, you break someone's heart, your heart gets broken in return....

 

looking back, i did broke a few hearts and mine got broken in the process also.....the way of the world...

 

 

It's the opposite actually. When he decided to work abroad. Things got all messed-up. A part of it was my fault, I was overly dependent, demanding, immature. Although I tried my hardest to understand the situation, he on the other hand got all tangled up with work etc. We've lost touched. I was miserable. I don't know. I woke up one day and realized I don't want to be in it anymore. Sometimes, I look back and still can't believe I endured losing him. I've spent 10 years of my life loving him. Well, things happen. I've learned from my mistakes, anyway. at talagang nagkwento daw ako

Edited January 3, 2011 by Leyna

[TanglewoodBoy]

It's the opposite actually. When he decided to work abroad. Things got all messed-up. A part of it was my fault, I was overly dependent, demanding, immature. Although I tried my hardest to understand the situation, he on the other hand got all tangled up with work etc. We've lost touched. I was miserable. I don't know. I woke up one day and realized I don't want to be in it anymore. Sometimes, I look back and still can't believe I endured losing him. I've spent 10 years of my life loving him. Well, things happen. I've learned from my mistakes, anyway. at talagang nagkwento daw ako

 

well, i think the key word there is HE WORKED ABROAD meaning, LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP siya if ever....

 

but who knows??? in the near future, it would still be the both of you?? sometimes you just need to realize your mistakes for you to grow and maybe fix what was needed to be fixed....

 

God Bless Madam and good luck..

(talagang nag advise pa ako eh, hahahahahaha)

[jgc813]

It's the opposite actually. When he decided to work abroad. Things got all messed-up. A part of it was my fault, I was overly dependent, demanding, immature. Although I tried my hardest to understand the situation, he on the other hand got all tangled up with work etc. We've lost touched. I was miserable. I don't know. I woke up one day and realized I don't want to be in it anymore. Sometimes, I look back and still can't believe I endured losing him. I've spent 10 years of my life loving him. Well, things happen. I've learned from my mistakes, anyway. at talagang nagkwento daw ako

 

Hmmm... I can identify with your situation. And, frankly speaking, separating because of work (the OFW phenomenon) really breaks up a lot of relationships, and even families. It takes a lot of maturity and understanding and trust to uphold such a relationship. A lot of hurts can really happen.

 

I am in a similar situation just now. My significant other decided to go abroad to work. We've been together for over a year, but because of necessity, she really decided to go abroad. I knew all along this is going to be a test for us. Nonetheless, I gave her my fullest support, even financially.

 

We are now 6 months separated from each other. At the start, things seemed ok. We were very often communicating on a daily basis. Texts and video/audio chats were part of our daily routine.

 

Things turned for the worse when, after a month or two. She suddenly got immersed in her work. (I know her to be really serious in her duties.) Her skeds were a gruelling 12-14 hrs a day shift with even her day off getting cancelled. (Now, I'm not too sure if it was her establishment's decision, or her own wanting.)

 

The fact was that, I "complained" to her about this. She was no longer communicating except for quick 1-line text messages in the morning and evening.

 

Nonetheless, I kept on with my PM's and Emails, and even text messages even if she was hardly replying. I tried my best to understand. Of course, I tried fighting off "bad thoughts" about she having found someone else. Once in a while, I would ask her that. She would bluntly deny it.

 

Just before last Xmas, she suddenly told me she would delete her FB account because she's been receiving unwanted messages from her admirers. Nonetheless, she assured me she will make a new account just for her family and closest of friends, and that, she will inform me once the sight is up.

 

I believed her.

 

After about a week of no information (except the daily 1-liner "good mornings"), I happened to pass by one of her friends' wall. Lo and behold, I found out she had a new account. It was already 3 days old. And she didn't even inform me!

 

Imagine the shock I got when I discovered it.

 

I waited for her until the wee hours of morning. When she texted me she was already home, I called her up, and when I asked her why she did that, she said, "feeling ko nasasakal na kasi ako."

 

That started a somewhat low-key argument between us. (We really don't go into big fights.) In short, she intentionally decided to cut me off, and in so doing, I started to doubt her na "baka may iba na siya," which she continually denies. Her real reason was, she was feeling "strangled" by me, and that, she wanted some space.

 

Of course, I told her "why didn't you tell me, and why did you have to go through such drastic action of telling me so many things only to drop me like a hot potato?"

 

We both hurt each other. But, seriously, I made the first step to apologize.

 

We're trying to rework it out now.

 

That's it. The distance, and the work, really got the worse from both of us.

 

(But what do you think? Is she falling out of love for me na? I always thought that when you really love someone, you don't intentionally make moves to hurt him/her -- which she did. Still, I'm trying to make myself believe she just got overwhelmed by a lot of work and problems, that's why she just "blew up." I never thought of her as a two-timer, although, sometimes I get that feeling now.)

[wastedsunshine]

Unfortunately, yes.

 

Akala ko kasi kaya ko siyang mahalin more than a friend, yun pala, hanggang friends lang talaga kaya.

 

Ngayon, kuya ko na siya!

[Leyna]

well, i think the key word there is HE WORKED ABROAD meaning, LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP siya if ever....

 

but who knows??? in the near future, it would still be the both of you?? sometimes you just need to realize your mistakes for you to grow and maybe fix what was needed to be fixed....

 

God Bless Madam and good luck..

(talagang nag advise pa ako eh, hahahahahaha)

 

 

Naku, wag naman sana. It's over and done with.

Thank you.

 

Hmmm... I can identify with your situation. And, frankly speaking, separating because of work (the OFW phenomenon) really breaks up a lot of relationships, and even families. It takes a lot of maturity and understanding and trust to uphold such a relationship. A lot of hurts can really happen.

 

I am in a similar situation just now. My significant other decided to go abroad to work. We've been together for over a year, but because of necessity, she really decided to go abroad. I knew all along this is going to be a test for us. Nonetheless, I gave her my fullest support, even financially.

 

We are now 6 months separated from each other. At the start, things seemed ok. We were very often communicating on a daily basis. Texts and video/audio chats were part of our daily routine.

 

Things turned for the worse when, after a month or two. She suddenly got immersed in her work. (I know her to be really serious in her duties.) Her skeds were a gruelling 12-14 hrs a day shift with even her day off getting cancelled. (Now, I'm not too sure if it was her establishment's decision, or her own wanting.)

 

The fact was that, I "complained" to her about this. She was no longer communicating except for quick 1-line text messages in the morning and evening.

 

Nonetheless, I kept on with my PM's and Emails, and even text messages even if she was hardly replying. I tried my best to understand. Of course, I tried fighting off "bad thoughts" about she having found someone else. Once in a while, I would ask her that. She would bluntly deny it.

 

Just before last Xmas, she suddenly told me she would delete her FB account because she's been receiving unwanted messages from her admirers. Nonetheless, she assured me she will make a new account just for her family and closest of friends, and that, she will inform me once the sight is up.

 

I believed her.

 

After about a week of no information (except the daily 1-liner "good mornings"), I happened to pass by one of her friends' wall. Lo and behold, I found out she had a new account. It was already 3 days old. And she didn't even inform me!

 

Imagine the shock I got when I discovered it.

 

I waited for her until the wee hours of morning. When she texted me she was already home, I called her up, and when I asked her why she did that, she said, "feeling ko nasasakal na kasi ako."

 

That started a somewhat low-key argument between us. (We really don't go into big fights.) In short, she intentionally decided to cut me off, and in so doing, I started to doubt her na "baka may iba na siya," which she continually denies. Her real reason was, she was feeling "strangled" by me, and that, she wanted some space.

 

Of course, I told her "why didn't you tell me, and why did you have to go through such drastic action of telling me so many things only to drop me like a hot potato?"

 

We both hurt each other. But, seriously, I made the first step to apologize.

 

We're trying to rework it out now.

 

That's it. The distance, and the work, really got the worse from both of us.

 

(But what do you think? Is she falling out of love for me na? I always thought that when you really love someone, you don't intentionally make moves to hurt him/her -- which she did. Still, I'm trying to make myself believe she just got overwhelmed by a lot of work and problems, that's why she just "blew up." I never thought of her as a two-timer, although, sometimes I get that feeling now.)

 

She is lucky enough that you spend time with her, and that you don't neglect her. You are probably the best person to know if your girlfriend's kinda acting weird. But if I'm in your position, her actions could definitely create doubts. Is she hiding something? Is she trying not to be associated with you--online? Women (or maybe it's just me) feels good being wanted. Constant texts, emails or any messages, especially if it means you guys are exerting constant effort to reach us, always delight us. Those things she's doing, including her preoccupations are probable signs that there is something wrong, something you could discuss to her before it's too late. You can start by asking her, while trying not to make an argument.

 

 

Surprisingly, you guys are separated. You are probably a thousand miles from each other. Why the hell would she need space?

 

 

[jgc813]

 

She is lucky enough that you spend time with her, and that you don't neglect her. You are probably the best person to know if your girlfriend's kinda acting weird. But if I'm in your position, her actions could definitely create doubts. Is she hiding something? Is she trying not to be associated with you--online? Women (or maybe it's just me) feels good being wanted. Constant texts, emails or any messages, especially if it means you guys are exerting constant effort to reach us, always delight us. Those things she's doing, including her preoccupations are probable signs that there is something wrong, something you could discuss to her before it's too late. You can start by asking her, while trying not to make an argument.

 

 

Surprisingly, you guys are separated. You are probably a thousand miles from each other. Why the hell would she need space?

 

We are a thousand miles from each other, and just like you, I really am wondering why she asked "for space?"

 

But this is getting rather personal to be discussed in a public board like this. We may, perhaps, discuss this privately.

 

Thanks for your comments though.

Edited January 3, 2011 by jgc813