love What Has Love Taught You Lately?

[chelly]

Okay...okay...i know it's sappy but then we all learned something about love and being in love...or letting go of one...what has it taught you?

 

Me? I have learned to let go of the one person I love in all my life...he needs to grow...he needs to mature...and he needs to do that without me. Believe me it's not easy...it is the most painful thing I have done and currently going through...but the fact that I do it because I love him makes it feel worthwhile.

 

Another lesson is that if you truly love someone...more than setting him free...forgive him and wish him well.

 

You will forever be missed...take care...wherever you may be.

[styx189]

a friend of mine sent this to me...just want to share it here

 

Inspiring quotes from Sex in the City...

 

1. If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.

If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.

 

2. Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.

 

3. If you have ANY doubt in your mind about a man's character, leave him alone.

 

4. Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.

 

5. Stop changing yourself for a relationship

 

6. Don't force an attraction.

 

7. Slower is better.

 

8. Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.

 

9. If a relationship ends because the man was not

treating you as you deserve then heck no you

can't "be friends." A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.

 

10. Have faith in God regarding your relationship,

but don't let faith make you stupid. God does things decent and in order.

 

11. Don't settle.

 

12. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.

 

13. If he keeps changing his mind about the relationship--take that as a BIG sign that he is unstable. Do you really want to be with a man like that?

 

14. Don't stay because you think "it will get

better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for

staying when things are not better.

 

15. Honorable men take care of their business and aren't involved in a whole lot of mess.

 

16. The only person you can control in a relationship is you.

 

17. There's only one 'reason' a man dumps you; he doesn't want you.

 

18. Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a

bunch of different women. He didn't marry them

when he got them pregnant, why would he treat

you any differently?

 

19. You really have to kiss a few frogs before finding your prince

 

20. Always put yourself and your happiness first.

 

21. Always have your own set of friends separate from his.

 

22. Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If

something bothers you , speak up.

 

23. If he doesn't call, he just isn't that interested.

 

24. Be honest and upfront.

 

25. Know when to cut the cord, don't be strung along.

 

26. Don't fall for the "I'm confused role". Remove yourself from the situation to let him figure things out (but don't wait for him, move on)

 

27. If you want to have a clue as to how he will

treat you, watch how he treats the WOMEN in his

family (not just mom).

 

28. There's more than physical abuse, there's

emotional and mental abuse. If he causes any of

them...flee.

 

29. You cannot change a man's behaviors. Change comes from within.

 

30. Don't let him place rules on you that he is not

willing to follow himself -- double-standard.

 

31. Don't EVER make him feel he is more

important than you are...even if he has more

education or in a better job.

 

32. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a

man, nothing more nothing less.

 

33. Demand respect and if he can't give it, he can't have you!

 

34. Don't compete with other woman, but be aware that men are attracted to what they see

 

35. If you think he is cheating, he probably is.

Confront him right away and if you feel he's lying, let him go.

 

36. Actions speak louder than words.

 

37. Never let a man define who you are.

 

38. Never rely on a man for compliments, look to

yourself for that.

 

39. Never borrow someone else's man.

 

40. If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.

 

41. Just because he says he loves you, doesn't

mean that he won't hurt you and it doesn't mean

that you are meant to be with him.

 

42. To use painful hard-won wisdom -- 'get it right' the next time.

 

43. Know that you deserve to be the number one

person in the life of the #1person in your life.

 

44. Love is a verb ...

 

45. Learn to give up your lifelong task of trying to

make someone unavailable-available, someone

ungiving-giving, and someone unloving-loving.

 

46. A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.

 

47. All men are NOT dogs.

 

48. You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a two

way street.

 

49. If you don't love self...you can't love anyone else.

 

50. You cannot mend someone else's broken heart.

 

51. You need time to heal between

relationships...there is nothing cute about

baggage ...deal with your issues before pursuing a

new relationship.

 

52. You should never look for someone to

COMPLETE you...a relationship consists of two

WHOLE individuals...look for someone

complementary...not supplementary.

 

53. Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right.

 

54. NEVER give more in a relationship than you are getting out of it.

 

55. Never become your man's "therapist".

 

56. When actions and words conflict, believe the

actions. Respond to the actions.

 

57. A real healthy relationship requires two

people. One person can end it - but it takes two to

make it work.

 

58. Don't fall for the "I'm not the loving type"...when a man loves you there is nothing in this world (WITHIN REASON) that he wouldn't do for you

 

59. Make him miss you sometimes...when a man

always know where you are,

and you're always readily available to him he

takes it for granted.

 

60. Give him his space...let him go out with his

boys, don't pressure him to spend time with you,

You cant force a man to hang out with you.

 

61. If you wouldn't allow your daughter to be with him you shouldn't.

 

62. Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.

 

63. Never move into his mother's house.

 

64. Provide financially for yourself and don't depend on anyone.

 

65. Ne ver co-sign for a man.

 

66. Never believe you have the perfect guy and he is so innocent.

 

67. Never spoil your man; let him spoil you.

 

68. Never let a man mess up your credit.

 

69. When it's time to let go; let go.

 

70. Good men should be treated like good men.

 

71. Don't play games.

 

72. Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need.

 

73. Keep him in your radar but get to know others.

 

74. Compatibility in terms of educational

attainment, values, beliefs, personal and career

goals, and socioeconomic status, are important.

 

75. Never date a guy who wears colored contacts.

Edited February 19, 2005 by styx189

[fiery]

Love taught me to be numb, cynical, and pessimist.

 

Such an irony when the greatest feeling could induce so much pain.

 

Oh well…but I still believe in romance.

 

It does exists…maybe not for me, but at least for others.

 

 

[Kapit_tuko]

LOVE taught me to backup...If I lost it...I'll have an easy time for recovery..hehehe

[LB]

i can never perfect the art of unloving... even if i desperately want to...

[povedan_chick69]

well, love taught me how to become smart and intelligent. it taught me to choose the right guy, because if you leave one of those guys out there, it just proves by the fact you have to do better next time. that's my opinion.

[private5star]

What Has Love Taught Me Lately?

 

I learned that I really really really love my wife very very much

 

and she loves me the same way.

 

I am so bless to have a loving and caring wife

 

and of course, she's so bless too for having me as her husband.

[Manticore]

What Has Love Taught You Lately?

 

I learned that even if you feel strongly for each other, there may come a time when the limits of your commitment to each other will be tested. That is the moment of truth.

 

I learned that when you each go your own separate ways, life has to go on. If a relationship has been a deeply cherished one, it's quite understandable to mourn its loss and be affected by it beyond what most people consider a reasonable amount of time.

 

I learned that even if a relationship takes a conscious effort to maintain, I'd still prefer to allow things to take their natural course. I appreciate it better when things are free-flowing, because control is an illusion. People's choices are a consequence of who they are. I'm a lot happier knowing that we both keep the relationship not by force, but out of choice.

[chelly]

I'm a lot happier knowing that we both keep the relationship not by force, but out of choice.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

 

true...true..true...it's a gift. i let go with love in my heart...for me and for him as well. I'm happy for him that he's on a journey to discover what he wants. And I am happy din that I am also on my own journey to find out what i want.

 

true...let love take it's course...and just be happy for the memories.

 

it's good to be alive...and looking forward to the next romance...exciting..

[Nightwatcher]

...it isn't a light switch which you can immediately turn on and off...

 

...if you love her, set her free...

 

...never fall in love with someone you can't have...

 

...magastos...

[styx189]

I learned that even if a relationship takes a conscious effort to maintain, I'd still prefer to allow things to take their natural course. I appreciate it better when things are free-flowing, because control is an illusion. People's choices are a consequence of who they are. I'm a lot happier knowing that we both keep the relationship not by force, but out of choice.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

 

aren't we controlling the direction of the relationship by the decisions we make?

 

 

i for one believe that a part of the equation to make the relationship work is to make a conscious effort to help the relationship along. the decisions we make along the way will likely dictate where the relationship will go. of course, it still takes two to tango, so decisions must be mutually reached.

[Manticore]

aren't we controlling the direction of the relationship by the decisions we make?

i for one believe that a part of the equation to make the relationship work is to make a conscious effort to help the relationship along. the decisions we make along the way will likely dictate where the relationship will go. of course, it still takes two to tango, so decisions must be mutually reached.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Hello, styx189. I didn't really elaborate much, but yes, our choices determine the direction of our relationship. What I mean to say is, I'm more free-wheeling when I approach relationships. Most of us agree that we have certain expectations regarding how things are supposed to be. I, however, feel that even if we wish things could be different at times, it's better to accept things as they are, and take it from there. It doesn't hurt to communicate your desires, of course, it's just that, if it comes naturally, then I'd rather not do anything to disturb it. I let it flow.

[styx189]

manticore, good point.

[Batabatuta™]

it has taught me to be stupid and not regretting it

[sleek_tikboy]

Man! I can't believe that Chelly got the same thought as mine. Anyways, it's been a year already since my boo and i broke up... At first I just can't accept the fact that she's leaving me and that our relationship of 3 and a half years will just go down the drain. And here are the stages I went through if I must share it with you:

 

Stage 1. Denial

Stage 2. Hatred and Bitterness

Stage 3. Acceptance

Stage 4. Forgiveness

Stage 5. Moving on

 

I was able to make my progress to Stage 3 because I told myself that hey!, it's alright, I cannot own her forever. And I actually need to be thankful because I was able to know someone like her. That I was able to experience how sweet it is to be loved by her. That somehow, she made me realize that I can love someone more than i thought I could.

 

Of course, after achieving Stage 3, I was able to forgive her easily...

 

Considering that she's been stuck with me for long and for that period she was not able to meet other people, I just thought that it's time for her to grow, that if she can no longer feels the happiness she used to had during the early stages of our relationship, it's time for her to grow, to find someone who can make her happy.. And the same should also apply to me, I should move on, it's time to grow, that I should find someone that would make me happy as well.

 

***We still talk, we're in good terms, and I'm happy for that.