What Comes To Mind When Your Gf Is Not A Virgin?

[fire_breather]

The issue of being a virgin or not a virgin does not and should not matter...

 

If you love someone, take them for all they are and strive to build a happy and contented life together that is full of love, understanding, and genuine care for the well being of one another.

 

Peace!

Edited January 13, 2011 by fire_breather

[vigilante]

Well generally virgin women's reasons would be preservation for the man they marry...

 

For me I'd be worried to much because of several things;

 

1. Sexual compatibility

2. Probable sexual inhibitions of the girl

3. Lastly if she is more than say 26 yrs of age and still a virgin.... (this is general thinking ok? a lot of women would be exceptions) she hasn't found one to give it to yet?... hmmmm

 

could you elaborate such worries pls ?

[Queen Darkeinjel]

Here are questions which often bug me regarding a non-virgin GF:

 

For the one that does talk about her past lovers and/or sex experiences, how honest/sincere do you think she is?

 

Would you believe her when she says that you're the best lover she has had?

 

And for the one that refuses to talk about her past: would you think it's because her previous lovers or that there was one previous lover that was a lot better than you?

 

How sure are you that she's not fantasizing about her past lover(s) while making love to you?

 

And for those who have a GF that's a single mom (obviously, she's not a virgin anymore), how can you say that she doesn't remember the father of her child/children most especially when you're making love?

 

and the same questions are asked by women who have bfs who had experienced quite a bit in this aspect of their lives.

 

 

*************

 

out of curiosity,

 

if men feel hurt because of the fact that the GF is not a virgin and they also have a hard time accepting the past, then, has anyone ever thought of the fact that some ladies would feel the same?

 

is it because of double standards that it is harder to accept women who had her eyes opened to sexuality long before you came into her life? and that it's easier to accept men who have the same experience, just because of the simple excuse, "they're men, it's natural"?

 

i'm just really wondering...

[Queen Darkeinjel]

definitely not an insult, depende sa tao. pwedeng marami syang ibang priorities kaya hindi nya napagtuunan ng atensyon yang aspect na yan.

pero sa generation na mas malawak na ang pananaw ng tao, hindi na din masyadong issue ang virginity. kumbaga, hindi dapat maging basis ng pagpili ng babae kung wala syang karanasan. may mga nakilala kong mas wild pa nga sa ibang non-virgins....that do other sexual stuff except penetration to preserve yung virginity. so balewala din yung sinasabing purity as a virtue, kasi hymen lang naman ang intact kung tutuusin.

 

although westerners ang tingin nila dun is insult kasi pwedeng wala namang nagtangka kaya virgin pa, sa tingin ko depende lang talaga yun sa babae. kung anong rason nya. so virgin or not, it doesnt realy matter

 

very well said. virginity is often equated to purity, but kung hymen na lang ang intact, where's the virtue there?

[markus_cruzade]

For me as a guy, it doesn't matter. When I was young and arrogant, I wanted to be the first person a girl will give her virginity with. But after years and I guess various experience, you'd focus more on the chemistry with the person. . How do you feel when you're together and when you're not.

What you do intimately to each other besides sex and all. It boils down to the point that 'virginity' is just a small part of a person that will love .

[jgc813]

 

out of curiosity,

 

if men feel hurt because of the fact that the GF is not a virgin and they also have a hard time accepting the past, then, has anyone ever thought of the fact that some ladies would feel the same?

 

is it because of double standards that it is harder to accept women who had her eyes opened to sexuality long before you came into her life? and that it's easier to accept men who have the same experience, just because of the simple excuse, "they're men, it's natural"?

 

i'm just really wondering...

 

I guess the issue here is not so much being "hurt," but more of a wondering. (I think "hurt" in this regard was a term used ages ago.)

 

Nowadays, virginity for women (much more for men) is something which not longer assumed and presumed especially if she has had relationships already.

 

And, yes, probably women may also wonder about their significant others' past relationships with questions similar to what I have asked.

 

While, for most, the above may be due to differences of standards, I really would like to believe that before that, there is such a thing as differences of psychology.

[superfunkibey]

Never cared about virginity. I had one encounter before and the baggage was too much, all that "you're the first, don't leave me" and "marry me" crap. Plus the guilt trip they pile on you when you decide to leave them.

[sikreto lang]

i think it's not a big issue nowadays..we should realize that women are also human being..they tend to get really in love and when they're in-love such things happen! even us men, we sometimes do crazy things out of love!

[Queen Darkeinjel]

I guess the issue here is not so much being "hurt," but more of a wondering. (I think "hurt" in this regard was a term used ages ago.)

 

Nowadays, virginity for women (much more for men) is something which not longer assumed and presumed especially if she has had relationships already.

 

And, yes, probably women may also wonder about their significant others' past relationships with questions similar to what I have asked.

 

While, for most, the above may be due to differences of standards, I really would like to believe that before that, there is such a thing as differences of psychology.

 

Every person has his/her own psyche.

 

There are women who would be very honest about their past, just like there are men who can open up like a book waiting to be read.

 

There are those who trust little by little and start opening up, similar to stories in comic books, they open up the story chapter by chapter.

 

Then as for the wondering and fantasizing: some may do others may not. I guess one of the key factors that we can put in the equation would be the level of maturity of both partners (emotionally, psychologically and mentally). Generally speaking though, a woman gives all her attention to her present lover, whether it be in bed or out of it.

 

As for those who do not talk about their previous lovers, one of the many causes of this is the pain experienced by the woman (which could be emotionally, psychologically and even physically, hence the reason for blocking the memories). Others just don't feel comfortable talking about the past.

 

And unfortunately some of the standards set by the "norms" of society also influece either sex's point of views. Women should exercise prudence when it comes to their sexuality, hence many do not talk about it, especially to someone of the opposite sex, while it is accepted that men are more "adventurous", hence it would be acceptable if they talk about that part of their lives.

[metalhead109]

it doesn't matter as long as we love each other

and she give me proper respect

 

what's disturbing is when they say their still virgin

and later on you've found out that she's not

[starslayer13]

Ok lang. There are times where NOT being the first has some advantages.

[ricardo23]

mapapaisip ka kung anung sino nakauna sayo, medyo mahirap ipicture

[jgc813]

I just came to realize this. We're talking about GF here so it is presumed there is a relationship.

 

The thought which entered my mind is much deeper. The issue is not just "not being a virgin," but "having several failed relationships." If she already had several (as my recent ex had), what would be the chance you (the present) will soon become an ex of hers?

 

I remembered what I read several years back in the book written by Nancy Van Pelt, "The Complete Courtship." She mentioned somewhere there something to this effect: "be wary of people who has had several (mind the operative word) past failed relationships. The chances your present relationship will fail is also high."

 

She did not say yours will not succeed. She just hinted that there is a high chance yours will also fail.

 

I just remembered what my recent ex used to tell me. She admitted that she was the cause of all her past failed relationships. (She has had very much more than me.) Of course, I assured her that was the past. We should try to make this present one work.

 

She spoke prophetically. In just six months of being abroad, she dumped me for someone else with no real negative reason against me except that "she had fallen in love with someone else." (We were doing very well for the past 1.5 years. In fact, I was her first that went past the one year mark.)

 

Hence, the issue to be considered should be more of "what comes into your mind if your GF has had several past relationships that failed?" more than "...if your GF is not a virgin?"

Edited February 14, 2011 by jgc813

[friendly0603]

I guess these questions come to mind:

how do you know when she's faking?

how do you know that you're the best she had?

Is the love enough to prevent her from finding someone who's better in the sack?

[jgc813]

I guess these questions come to mind:

how do you know when she's faking?

how do you know that you're the best she had?

Is the love enough to prevent her from finding someone who's better in the sack?

 

From the research of Masters and Johnsons, the answer to the above are all:

 

YOU CAN'T.

 

No matter how much of an expert you claim to be, you would never know when a woman is faking. And that's true for any man.

 

Likewise, you wouldn't know if "you're the best," and "if your love will prevent her from finding someone else."

 

You just can't. Only the woman can say, and only the woman can determine.

 

 

 

Edited February 15, 2011 by jgc813

[friendly0603]

From the research of Masters and Johnsons, the answer to the above are all:

 

YOU CAN'T.

 

No matter how much of an expert you claim to be, you would never know when a woman is faking. And that's true for any man.

 

Likewise, you wouldn't know if "you're the best," and "if your love will prevent her from finding someone else."

 

You just can't. Only the woman can say, and only the woman can determine.

The answers are direct if she is a virgin

and you are the best she had by default.

[cigaro]

that you are not the first one? it doesn't matter to me as long as i love her and vice versa

[shawnlemon]

To be honest guys, I had dozen of girls that i destroyed way back in high school and in college. I lost my virginity when I was in grade six to a 4TH year highschool girl.

 

I married the girl who is not a virgin anymore, but I accepted her because of love and trust. And now we are in our 15th years of happy and a loving family. Trust is important, respect one another, love her for what she is and what she will become. Never under estimate her and always feel she is secured in your self and love.

 

Now virginity is not the reason for you not to love your future gf. Its only a trial for you and your gf to prolong your future and obstacle to come in your relationship. Now I advice you guys to love your gf respect her and make her feel like a queen. Then happiness will just overflow in your relationship. Thanks and goodluck.

[PartPastTime]

For me, nothing really. I fell in love with the girl, her totality and not because she is a vergin or not.

[Aey.Sean]

at first, it was really a big deal and an issue for me, but as i go on with my relationships, i find it less necessary to the point that i just don't care

[android18]

For me it's ok, all my ex-gf except my first, are all not virgin, and for me, who cares as long as you love them and they love you.

[Mambo101]

It doesn't bother me. The important thing is that we're happy and we're enjoying our moments together. Anyway, I did not love her because of her virginity

[pepe8164]

My wife already gave herself up to me even before we were married. During the deed, it never crossed my mind to check if she was still a virgin or not. Until now, I did not bother to ask her if she was still a virgin when I first had her. That is my stand on virginity.

[yourgirl]

it shouldn't bother the guys.. they should ask themselves muna kung virgin pa sila.. if hindi na din edi quits lang sila nung girl.. and besides.. ayaw nya nun.. may experience na.. alam na what she should do..

[icarus_05]

it really doesn't matter much basta happy kayo.. =)

 

past is past... lets just worry of today and plan for the future..