Viola

Started my new diet yesterday. Im now on a Keto meal service and IF. The portions were so small yesterday that I literally cried because i was so hungry.

But I really want to lose weight for my own health as well because I want to look good for my boyfriend. So Im sticking with it.

Gutom na gutom n nga lang ako. It is a period of adjustment so i might settle into this new diet by next week. 

One moment we were happy, the next moment, im seriously thinking of ending things. In that moment, I could not see a future with him. 

He said he loves me before going to bed. I could not say it back to him. At that moment, I was thinking, I thought he was my partner, but why are we now off to do separate things and hope we arrive at the same place. 

So we've broken up. That's it. Just a lets break up and we were done.

A month and a half ago, we broke up. He changed his mind and didn't want to give up. Now he's talking about getting married... How did things go this fast?

All I know is, he is doing his best to be the man he has the potential to be. 

Today is one of the saddest days of my life. I lost my job as a result of this global recession. I lost something that i am truly proud of. It is very rare to find a job that gives you pride and joy.

Today, i will wallow and mourn this loss. I'll cry myself to sleep. Tomorrow, i'll plan what's next for me. 

Woke up in the middle of the night to an anxiety attack.

Cant breathe. 

It's been almost a year. He's back to his old ways. I thought he changed. 

Spent the entire night crying... 

So this is how burnout feels like. Im physically and mentally exhausted. I need a break. 

Finding a place to rent short term on a budget is so stressful. 

So stressed that even the smallest thing can trigger me.

Him, watching me sleep and waiting patiently for me to wake up is just the sweetest thing.

Lately, ive been feeling overly fatigued and i cant stay up. I end up falling asleep while we are trying to spend time together. 

He used to wake me up, but he knows i am sick and so he just patiently waits for me to wake up. 

Last month, he was watching me sleep. Today, we decided to take a break from each other. This is the first time. It might be the last. He has regressed back to being abusive. 

You know you are old when you want to go out on a Friday night but stayed home instead because 1) you got nowhere to go, everything is too loud, 2) you are worried about the traffic, 3) you want to be in bed by 8pm. 

At my age, coffee shop na lang ang pwede puntahan. 

After 7yrs, i finally bought a new laptop. So happy, i can now pursue different programming languages that we dont normally use at work. 

Im using work-issued laptop and i cant do anything non-work related on it. So my python, r and other languages are pretty rusty.

Kairita. Since i cant rant on my personal socmed, dito na lang.

Went to a salon, had them dye my hair somewhat blonde. Dirty blonde. Now i have brown skin. I love the color on me. It made my face brighter that i can see phantom rosy cheeks.

Then the day after, my older cousin saw me and commented on my hair. "wag ka magpakulay ng ganyan, mukha kang anak dagat." It was 630am in the morning. 

My bf likes it. I like it. My bestfriends like it. Ung cousin ko lang na judger ang may comment. 

At the end of the day, mu bf would be the one grabbing my hair as we play together. So his opinion would be the one that matters. 

Kairita lang. 

Soooooo drunk

Im a regular member. Im not for hire. 

zoro roronoa... one piece. i love it.

live or die with you? man... that's a difficult choice.. can't live with you and i don't wanna die. can't we just get to know each other first? wassup dear?

psst take me out. i miss hanging out.

friends? coffee? that's not how i know you... hahaha

Member Title: Virgin ... doesn't really fit you.

Hey, i have a new number, lost my phone. text me at 09156256272

09156256272